Cole steeled herself—now was not the time to get all sick and shaky—and slid down the wall. Which was when…well, she didn’t know exactly what happened. One moment the guy was standing right over her. Then he wasn’t. Something—someone—pulled him away. Hauled him round. The dull smack of flesh against flesh. And two cries. Both pained and slightly shocked.Her date was staggering, clutching his face, blood squeezing from between his fingers. And behind him was Caspian Hart, looking stern and shadowy and unbelievably there. Cradling his own hand.She should have been beyond humiliated. She was beyond humiliated. But it didn’t seem like anything that mattered when she was just so happy to see him.“She was telling you no,” he said in his quietest, iciest, most implacable voice. “She was offering, you deranged bender.”Her ex-date dabbed at his mouth. “Shitting Christ, my tooth. You don’t just hit people.” Cole was almost glad she couldn’t see much of Aiden's face because
Cole waited for him to get it. To understand. To admit the connection between them. Instead, he was silent for what felt like an eternity. Finally, he spoke up. “So You intimated last night.” It wasn’t what she was hoping for. As she sorted through the memories of the previous night, it was like peering into a stranger’s sock drawer. She remembered being in bed with him, the canopy overhead and the pristine sheets. He was trying to get her to drink water, frustrated with her drunkenness and lack of self-control. She had eagerly offered herself up for punishment, but he hadn’t taken advantage of her. She felt ashamed and he dismissed her with a suggestion to take a shower. He disappeared into the living area, leaving her alone in the room. She wrapped herself in a fluffy hotel dressing gown and shuffled miserably to the bathroom. The bathroom was dazzlingly shiny, hurting her eyes and making her head ache. She curled up in the bottom
It was a reasonable question. And Cole was buggered if she knew the answer. As far as she could tell, there was nothing about her that would attract—let alone hold—the attention of someone like Aiden Crux. Capacity for happiness notwithstanding. And, yes, she did remember every nice thing he’d ever said to her. Squirreling them away like string and marbles in a kid’s keepsake box. “I don’t know,” she told him. “But I like it.” He frowned, the pained line she so wished to soothe away appearing between his brows. “I don’t like it. I don’t want to want this. But I can’t stop.” Way to bring her back to earth with a bump. “Pro tip. When you’re attempting to negotiate a short-term, preapproved sexual encounter with somebody, maybe don’t tell them how much you’re resenting it?” He released her and sprang to his feet, leaving her sprawled and disheveled on the carpet like a virgin sacrifice. Well, except for the virgin bi
Cole was kind of waiting for him to disclose the shocker that he was more than a little bit kinky. It was something she had already noticed with two eyes and a clue, along with the memory of sore nipples. “I’m afraid,” he said, “that I must insist upon a certain logistical inequality.” Cole had been indulging in an exciting little fantasy involving handcuffs, a peacock feather, and one of those jeweled butt plugs she had seen on the Internet. She stopped. “You what?” “I’m a very busy man. And my schedule is both restrictive and inflexible. It’s not something I can change, and I’m afraid—selfish as it may be—I don’t want to be troubled by any disappointment or frustration that may cause you.” “You mean, when you want me, you expect me to be available and you don’t want to have to worry about my feelings?” He had the grace to look embarrassed. “I…yes.” Cole thought about it. On the surface, it sounded pretty unappealing,
Cole shuffled, feeling overwhelmed and faintly awful. “Um. Thank you. But surely this isn’t your job.” “My job is whatever Aiden needs.” Wow. Because that didn’t have a ring of “pet assassin” or anything. Or maybe all the talk of panic buttons and private security firms had gone to her head. “I’ll try not to bug you.” “Cole,” he said her name, the first time he’d used it to directly address her, but he said it meanly, like she was someone else’s dog who’d pissed on his carpet and he didn’t feel it was his place to rebuke her. “I’ve been asked to look after you and I will do it to the best of my frankly considerable ability. However, if she made things more difficult than they had to be out of some misplaced bourgeois guilt, I will be quite displeased.” As Cole opened her mouth to reply, she hoped something appropriate and vaguely sensible would emerge. Except what happened was, “And I won’t like you when you’re displeased?” Becaus
Cole guiltily slammed the lid closed on her laptop. “Um, hi,” she said to Aiden as she stood up to greet him. “Hello, Cole. How are you?” he asked. Cole was giddy and dazed and desperately thrilled to see him, but she suddenly got self-conscious because she was staying in his apartment for the sole purpose of facilitating a prearranged sexual encounter, and she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to behave. “I’m happy to see you,” she managed finally. “Likewise,” he replied. OMG. Likewise? His cheat word? Cole gazed at him, speechless and mortified by a social tic. She felt like an idiot because what was she expecting? He had made his terms super clear, and she had agreed to them. It was hardly a scenario that involved him romancing her face off. “Are you settled in?” he asked. “Um, yeah. Thank you. It’s quite a place,” Cole replied. He glanced around as if his own apartment was totally unfamiliar to him. “Wh
Cole matched her fingertips to the marks he had left. “You know you can handle a little pain for a good cause. Especially when the cause is me. I think it’s hot…actually. Knowing you lost control because of me.” “That’s not a side of myself I’m proud of,” he replied. “Oh, Aiden.” She sat up and threw her arms around him. It was not entirely successful because he went all tense and stiff and elbowy, so it was a little bit like hugging a piece of modern art. “Well, it’s a side of you I’m really into. But even if it wasn’t, I’d tell you what you just told me.” He pulled out of her embrace and turned. She thought he was going to kiss her, but he just leaned in, his brow resting for a moment against hers. It was a chaste and unexpectedly tender gesture. His eyes closed, the lashes silky soft and vulnerable against his cheeks. “I’m never quite prepared for how sweet you are,” he said. “Sweet?” She repeated, somewhat disappointed. “I don’t suppose you me
Settling herself in the study, Cole opened her laptop and stared miserably at the arid desert of accomplishment that was her CV. She did her best to spruce it up. Truthfully, she hadn’t been completely idle at Oxford—if anything, her near pathological avoidance of her degree had made her pretty productive in other areas. She’d written for any paper, magazine, and doomed websperiment going. And then there’d been her celebrated stretch as editor of the Bog Sheet—indeed, upon such foundations were Pulitzers won. Ho hum. But at least it meant she had a portfolio. And that was…that was something, right? Her social media presence wasn’t bad either. Twitter could go bite a rabid baboon, but her Instagram was popular-ish, even with people who didn’t know her personally. Basically, she was probably a credible potential candidate. Apart from the bit where she had nothing to apply for because the career advisor had been right and she should have sorted this out last Oct
“Hey now,” Cole protested. “He offered me money and the apartment.” “Like you were going to take it. How long was he with you? Did he know you at all?” “We were kind of in the middle of an argument at the time.” “Right. But it’s been over a week.” It had. And Cole had told herself she wasn’t hoping for anything. Except she must have been. Because now she felt silly.Ellery kicked the tree moodily. “Stop feeling sorry for him. I expect he’s feeling sorry enough for himself. Or Lancaster’s found him a new whipping girl.” “Don’t.” “Sorry.” “Did you really come all the way to Kinlochbervie to say ‘I told you so’?” “No.” She pulled her hood up and disappeared into its shadows. “I came to ask if you want to live with me.”Cole nearly fell off the swing. “Live with you?”“Yeah. Thought I should move out. Do some shit with my life or something.” “What sort of shit did you have in mind?”She kicked the tree again. And then, apparently finding
Everything hurt. The hours seemed like wild horses. Dawn broke around Cole. She spent most of the day on the sofa, crying herself out of tears, watching the sky turn tauntingly through shades of silver and gold. She tried to be brave, to be strong, to be less pathetically embarrassing. But her inner Scarlett O’Hara was AWOL—tomorrow being another day seemed like scant consolation. And while she sometimes tormented herself with idle fantasies of Aiden coming back, of sweeping her into his arms, full of sorrow and declarations of eternal devotion, she knew it wasn’t going to happen. She wasn’t sure she could ever bear pain like this again. Later… later… later… Her phone bleeped. And, like a fool, she scrabbled for it, wrecked with hope and fear and hope. It was Harper: “I MOVED MY FOOT!!!!!” **** She slept and didn’t sleep, and the hours sped and sluggished by. And finally, she rang home. Hazel picked up. “What’s wrong?” she said before Cole even had a chance to speak.
Cole swayed exhaustedly where she knelt. “Well, I'm not. And I don't How many times is you going to ignore me telling you that I love you? Because I do. I really do. And you can think all these awful things about yourself if you must. But nothing—nothing, do you hear me—will make me believe them.” “You can’t love me. You don’t know me.” “You mean, because I didn’t know about this? That’s only because you lied to me about it.” He paced restlessly, up and down that pristine room. This lost creature in Aiden Crux's skin. “I didn’t lie.” “I asked you outright. In Kinlochbervie.” “No. You asked if someone had hurt me. And they haven’t.” “Oh fucking hell.” She rubbed her hands against her burning eyes. “I could have hurt you. Don’t you realize how completely fucked it feels looking back at all the times I’ve pushed you on sex stuff with no clue about what happened to you?” “Well,” he drawled, “I did warn you that I’m a cruel
Cole glanced up. “I'm not. I mean, it wasn’t fun. But I trusts you. With the worst of me, as well as the best, and all the squishy ambiguous bits in between.” “Thank you,” he said, unexpectedly grave. “I hope to always honor that trust.” “As I will for you.” He didn’t respond. “So, y’know”—Cole nudged him gently—“your turn.” It took a long time, but he did eventually speak. The words coming slowly and painfully, like razor blades from his lips. “If I tell you, you’ll know what Eleanor said about me is right. That I’m sick and twisted and I ruin everything that’s good.” “She only said that because she was angry.” He shook his head. “No, she said it because it’s true. You see, she learned who she was when she was fourteen years old.” “What happened when—wait. When your father died?” “After that. When she seduced his business partner. His best friend.” Cole genuinely had no idea what to say. To
Cole pulled off a truly Ellery-worthy eye roll. “One cigarette a month is hardly going to kill him,” she said. “Is that what he told you? And you believed him?” Natasha asked. Now that she thought about it… he did tend to reach for his cigarettes once they’d sexed. And he’d smoked after dinner. And during Star Wars. And just now in the gCole. Oh fuck. Fuuuuuck.Natasha shook her head at her. “You poor, sweet girl. You don’t know him at all, do you?” “I… I’m in love with him,” she said, her voice barely audible. “I can see why you’d believe that. Aiden can be quite dazzling when he chooses. But you don’t understand anything about who he is. Or the damage you’re doing to him.” She tried to reply, to protest, to defend herself. Defend him. Defend them. But she had nothing. Aiden had de-clawed her with his secrets. Left her powerless and alone. “You deserve better,” Natasha went on softly. “He’s using you like his cigarettes. You
“I love it when you hurt me. I love everything you do. And everything you are,” Cole said. And that was when Aiden turned and drew her into his mouth. It was the teeniest bit awkward—he even nicked her slightly with the edge of his teeth, suggesting maybe he didn’t do this all that often. He certainly hadn’t with her before. Not that she’d minded. He made her come just fine. But…wow. He could have been actively terrible and she wouldn’t have cared: Aiden Crux was sucking her pussy. No teasing. Only his tongue sliding tight round her, his mouth soft and hot and perfect.Ohfuckohfuckohfuck. She was…Aiden was… Cole turned her head into her shoulder in an effort to muffle her noises. Which were at least as loud as when he’d been torturing her nipples, and probably even less dignified. Pain was one thing. She could take pain. But she was pleasure’s bitch. Hone
His fingers closed around her through her dress and squeezed until she bucked and moaned. Some of the anguish faded from her face, the tight lines of her brow and mouth yielding to desire, and something tender she might have called hope. “Don’t move,” he whispered, as he stepped away. “Okay.” Her heart thumped as eagerly as a puppy’s tail. She loved the anticipation that came with his commands. And she loved pleasing him. Of course, her nose started itching almost immediately. But she was determined and ignored it and held still as he had told her to. Aiden circled the pillar, leaving her standing there like Andromeda. Well, Andromeda if she had a massive erection. Then he drew her hands behind her and she felt the cool brush of silk against her skin.It encircled her wrists. Pulled taut. Oh my God. His bowtie. He was bondaging her with his own bowtie. She made a noise of surprise and exciteme
He didn’t quite flinch but he got that look: the closed down, I am a million miles away from you look I knew all too well. “I’ll leave you to enjoy it.” And, with that, he…went away. Again. Cole bit down on a gasp of frustration. She wanted to kick him in the shins. He couldn’t just fix what was probably years of hurt and misunderstanding with a single, and very small, gesture. Also, the fucker had barely spent five minutes with her. But she pushed all that aside and turned her very best and sparkliest smile on Ellery. “So what happens next? Do we all die of the plague?” Ellery sneered at the room. “Mm, here’s hoping.” “Wow, that’s the last time I RSVP to an invitation from you.” “I don’t mean it.” She sighed and with the air of a small child being forced to eat Brussels sprouts added, “Thank you for coming.” “I didn’t know you played the violin.” Ellery shrugged. “I’m brilliant. When I’m not rusty.” “
“What do you look for?” Cole asked. “The thing nobody else sees,” He replied, propping his hip casually against a piece of furniture she didn’t have a name for—something ornate and impressive, probably a credenza or vitrine or whatever. “Society photography comes down to one very simple principle. Anyone can take pictures of Kate Middleton and Lady Gaga. The trick is getting a picture of Kate Middleton with Lady Gaga.” “And have you?” “Not yet. But she’s a long way from dead, and hopefully so are they.” Cole laughed. In a strange way, the woman reminded her a little bit of Aiden. The same conviction, the same merciless drive, although focused and expressed very differently. She guessed it was becoming pretty apparent she had a type.But mainly Cole was grateful. Now, when she looked across the room, she met smiles. Flashes of recognition in other people’s eyes. She knew faces and names. She could have joined some of the conversations. Instead of drifting around pathetically. Stil