Cole awoke a few hours later to find herself alone in the bed. She knew Aiden’s habits well enough to expect it, but it still surprised and hurt her. She tried to convince herself that it didn’t mean anything, that it didn’t diminish what they had shared or her presence there. But deep down, she couldn’t deny that it did mean something. It meant she was spending the night alone, and the thoughts of that photo resurfaced in her mind. The Image of Aiden and his ex-girlfriend Natasha, at some fancy event played vividly in her thoughts. It was a photo she had seen in Milieu before she had run away to Scotland. It was taken long after Aiden and Natasha had broken up, but it still affected her. The way they looked together, so perfect and meant for each other, contrasted with Aiden’s reluctance to let her touch him. Covering herself with the sheet, Cole decided to go and find Aiden. She discovered him in the living room, wrapped in a dressing gown, gazing at the breaking
The sight before her was nothing short of astonishing. It was a fully equipped, exquisitely furnished bondage dungeon—a realm of luxurious indulgence and tantalizing secrets. From the elaborate four-poster bed to the array of hanging implements on the walls, the room exuded an opulent aura. Leather and dark wood dominated the space, with occasional touches of burgundy and gold providing a striking contrast. Cole’s eyes scanned the assortment of cuffs, crops, spreaders, floggers, and other unfamiliar instruments, each one emanating a subtle gleam in the subdued lighting. The furniture itself, she realized, was best left unexamined, as it threatened to send her cheeks blazing with embarrassment. It was a realm of immobilization and exposure, an exploration of desires she had only imagined. And she was more than willing to embrace it all. “Oh my God,” Cole exclaimed, her gaze darting back to Aiden. “I had a feeling about your preferences, but this is in
She gathered her garment, and what precious little of her dignity remained, and pushed past Aiden. There was no game plan here. All she wanted was to get away. From him and the room where RACK went to die. Probably there would be crying at some point. But she didn’t actually get very far. Aiden caught up to her in the bedroom. “Where are you going?” he asked. It was a good question. “I guess I’m leaving?” “Now? It’s five a.m. You’re in a sheet.” She gave him a wild, senseless grin. “One of these is fixable.” “Cole.” “What?” “I think, perhaps, we have both spoken too hastily tonight. Implied things we did not mean.” “Is that… what the fuck is that? Are you trying to say sorry?” He raised a fretful hand, then let it fall. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I can’t… think in that place. I’m not… I don’t feel…” That was when she saw he was sweating. And not in a sexy glowing way. More just drench
Cole must have eventually dozed off because when she woke up, the bedroom was full of cold light and Aiden—exquisite in a pearl gray suit and an indigo tie—was sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking her gently. She jerked upright with an undignified wuffle. It was hard not to be slightly discombobulated because seeing Aiden, absolutely composed and back to normal, half made her believe last night had been a really fucked-up dream. “What time is it?” she asked, blearily. “Nearly eleven.” He gestured to a line of cups on the bedside table. “I’m afraid I didn’t know what to bring you. So I thought I’d try everything. There’s tea or coffee or orange juice.” This was not one hundred percent comfortable. Were they seriously just going to pretend nothing had happened? “Um, juice?” she said. “Coffee makes me hyper. And I’ve never gotten into tea.” He gave her a slight smile. “What a terrible confession for an Englishwoman.”
“Yes,” Cole wriggled shamelessly. “Own me.” B They went at it no-frills. Just stripped-bare need. With Aiden not even undressing. Cole could tell he was trying to be careful but it stung after the pounding he’d given her yesterday. Nnn His first shallow thrusts made Cole’s eyes water and her fingers knot in the sheets. But, being a total pervert, she were into it. There was something so primal and inexorable about his cock prizing their body open. It made her feel real again. Once he was all the way in, and Cole was stretched and trembling under him, he slid a hand all the way up the sweat-damp line of her back. Cupped the nape of their neck, his touch controlling and tender and perfect. “You’re all right?” he murmured. Cole bucked back against him. “God, yes.” For a man already late for a conference call, he fucked her thoroughly and languorously. And Cole lay among the pillows, moaning and rocking to his rhythm, her whole bo
“Oh my God.” Her voice shook with the laughter caught in it. “You really have been in more magazines than you’ve read.” “That’s an accurate assessment.” He kissed her again—mouth this time—and then rolled away, settling on his back beside her, one arm flung casually above his head. She curled into the space. It was something she was getting weirdly good at it: lying hopefully in the shape of a hug. She was close enough to feel the heat from his body, to smell the sex on him, but he still didn’t touch her. “Maybe,” she said, “we could do a knowledge exchange.” His eyebrow twitched. “I could teach you about popular culture…like…any popular culture. And you could—” “Educate you on the impact of emerging economies on price movement in global equity, currency, and commodity markets.” “I was thinking more…get me into sci-fi?” She wasn’t sure how seriously she’d meant it, but he ten
Unfortunately when Friday rolled round, Cole was too wrecked for anything they had planned and promised and hoped for. Instead, she was sitting on the sofa, dazed and half crying, and clutching helplessly at her phone. It was only when Aiden said, "Cole, what’s wrong?” that she realized he was there. Or even remembered that he was supposed to be coming. She glanced up. Noted—with a terrible sense of distance—how lovely he looked just then. Charcoal gray suit, lilac shirt. And, in what must have been a moment of unusual opulence, a Liberty print tie in shades of silver and indigo. God, he had dressed for her. And she was— “It’s Harper.” The words burst out of her in a teary blurble. “She’s been hit by a car or something. I don’t know. She’s in surgery. That’s bad, isn’t it? When people are in surgery?” Aiden was silent for a moment. Startled, possibly. “Well, it depends on the surgery.” “Right. I… I…” Her attention reeled from Aiden to the apa
Cole kept nodding. “Do you have your phone with you? The one Aiden gave you?” Did she? Apparently she did. And her own phone, too. Go her, and her brief moments of competence. “I’ve sent you all the details. And call Aiden when you land. He’ll be worrying.” Aiden? Worrying? “Um, okay.” “I don’t suppose you thought to bring the credit card Aiden provided when you first moved into One Hyde Park?” She honestly wasn’t sure if she had remembered to pack her socks.“I didn’t think so. Here.” Another card. Coutts again. Quietly black on the reverse. An artfully faded image of a Chinese street on the front. The logo a flash of silver. “I… I, that’s… You know I can’t take his money.” Bellerose’s lashes—which were reddish-gold, like his hair—fluttered, as if he was trying very hard not to roll his eyes. “Given you don’t have any of your own, you don’t really have a choice.” “I do! I have £50.56.” “There’s no
“Hey now,” Cole protested. “He offered me money and the apartment.” “Like you were going to take it. How long was he with you? Did he know you at all?” “We were kind of in the middle of an argument at the time.” “Right. But it’s been over a week.” It had. And Cole had told herself she wasn’t hoping for anything. Except she must have been. Because now she felt silly.Ellery kicked the tree moodily. “Stop feeling sorry for him. I expect he’s feeling sorry enough for himself. Or Lancaster’s found him a new whipping girl.” “Don’t.” “Sorry.” “Did you really come all the way to Kinlochbervie to say ‘I told you so’?” “No.” She pulled her hood up and disappeared into its shadows. “I came to ask if you want to live with me.”Cole nearly fell off the swing. “Live with you?”“Yeah. Thought I should move out. Do some shit with my life or something.” “What sort of shit did you have in mind?”She kicked the tree again. And then, apparently finding
Everything hurt. The hours seemed like wild horses. Dawn broke around Cole. She spent most of the day on the sofa, crying herself out of tears, watching the sky turn tauntingly through shades of silver and gold. She tried to be brave, to be strong, to be less pathetically embarrassing. But her inner Scarlett O’Hara was AWOL—tomorrow being another day seemed like scant consolation. And while she sometimes tormented herself with idle fantasies of Aiden coming back, of sweeping her into his arms, full of sorrow and declarations of eternal devotion, she knew it wasn’t going to happen. She wasn’t sure she could ever bear pain like this again. Later… later… later… Her phone bleeped. And, like a fool, she scrabbled for it, wrecked with hope and fear and hope. It was Harper: “I MOVED MY FOOT!!!!!” **** She slept and didn’t sleep, and the hours sped and sluggished by. And finally, she rang home. Hazel picked up. “What’s wrong?” she said before Cole even had a chance to speak.
Cole swayed exhaustedly where she knelt. “Well, I'm not. And I don't How many times is you going to ignore me telling you that I love you? Because I do. I really do. And you can think all these awful things about yourself if you must. But nothing—nothing, do you hear me—will make me believe them.” “You can’t love me. You don’t know me.” “You mean, because I didn’t know about this? That’s only because you lied to me about it.” He paced restlessly, up and down that pristine room. This lost creature in Aiden Crux's skin. “I didn’t lie.” “I asked you outright. In Kinlochbervie.” “No. You asked if someone had hurt me. And they haven’t.” “Oh fucking hell.” She rubbed her hands against her burning eyes. “I could have hurt you. Don’t you realize how completely fucked it feels looking back at all the times I’ve pushed you on sex stuff with no clue about what happened to you?” “Well,” he drawled, “I did warn you that I’m a cruel
Cole glanced up. “I'm not. I mean, it wasn’t fun. But I trusts you. With the worst of me, as well as the best, and all the squishy ambiguous bits in between.” “Thank you,” he said, unexpectedly grave. “I hope to always honor that trust.” “As I will for you.” He didn’t respond. “So, y’know”—Cole nudged him gently—“your turn.” It took a long time, but he did eventually speak. The words coming slowly and painfully, like razor blades from his lips. “If I tell you, you’ll know what Eleanor said about me is right. That I’m sick and twisted and I ruin everything that’s good.” “She only said that because she was angry.” He shook his head. “No, she said it because it’s true. You see, she learned who she was when she was fourteen years old.” “What happened when—wait. When your father died?” “After that. When she seduced his business partner. His best friend.” Cole genuinely had no idea what to say. To
Cole pulled off a truly Ellery-worthy eye roll. “One cigarette a month is hardly going to kill him,” she said. “Is that what he told you? And you believed him?” Natasha asked. Now that she thought about it… he did tend to reach for his cigarettes once they’d sexed. And he’d smoked after dinner. And during Star Wars. And just now in the gCole. Oh fuck. Fuuuuuck.Natasha shook her head at her. “You poor, sweet girl. You don’t know him at all, do you?” “I… I’m in love with him,” she said, her voice barely audible. “I can see why you’d believe that. Aiden can be quite dazzling when he chooses. But you don’t understand anything about who he is. Or the damage you’re doing to him.” She tried to reply, to protest, to defend herself. Defend him. Defend them. But she had nothing. Aiden had de-clawed her with his secrets. Left her powerless and alone. “You deserve better,” Natasha went on softly. “He’s using you like his cigarettes. You
“I love it when you hurt me. I love everything you do. And everything you are,” Cole said. And that was when Aiden turned and drew her into his mouth. It was the teeniest bit awkward—he even nicked her slightly with the edge of his teeth, suggesting maybe he didn’t do this all that often. He certainly hadn’t with her before. Not that she’d minded. He made her come just fine. But…wow. He could have been actively terrible and she wouldn’t have cared: Aiden Crux was sucking her pussy. No teasing. Only his tongue sliding tight round her, his mouth soft and hot and perfect.Ohfuckohfuckohfuck. She was…Aiden was… Cole turned her head into her shoulder in an effort to muffle her noises. Which were at least as loud as when he’d been torturing her nipples, and probably even less dignified. Pain was one thing. She could take pain. But she was pleasure’s bitch. Hone
His fingers closed around her through her dress and squeezed until she bucked and moaned. Some of the anguish faded from her face, the tight lines of her brow and mouth yielding to desire, and something tender she might have called hope. “Don’t move,” he whispered, as he stepped away. “Okay.” Her heart thumped as eagerly as a puppy’s tail. She loved the anticipation that came with his commands. And she loved pleasing him. Of course, her nose started itching almost immediately. But she was determined and ignored it and held still as he had told her to. Aiden circled the pillar, leaving her standing there like Andromeda. Well, Andromeda if she had a massive erection. Then he drew her hands behind her and she felt the cool brush of silk against her skin.It encircled her wrists. Pulled taut. Oh my God. His bowtie. He was bondaging her with his own bowtie. She made a noise of surprise and exciteme
He didn’t quite flinch but he got that look: the closed down, I am a million miles away from you look I knew all too well. “I’ll leave you to enjoy it.” And, with that, he…went away. Again. Cole bit down on a gasp of frustration. She wanted to kick him in the shins. He couldn’t just fix what was probably years of hurt and misunderstanding with a single, and very small, gesture. Also, the fucker had barely spent five minutes with her. But she pushed all that aside and turned her very best and sparkliest smile on Ellery. “So what happens next? Do we all die of the plague?” Ellery sneered at the room. “Mm, here’s hoping.” “Wow, that’s the last time I RSVP to an invitation from you.” “I don’t mean it.” She sighed and with the air of a small child being forced to eat Brussels sprouts added, “Thank you for coming.” “I didn’t know you played the violin.” Ellery shrugged. “I’m brilliant. When I’m not rusty.” “
“What do you look for?” Cole asked. “The thing nobody else sees,” He replied, propping his hip casually against a piece of furniture she didn’t have a name for—something ornate and impressive, probably a credenza or vitrine or whatever. “Society photography comes down to one very simple principle. Anyone can take pictures of Kate Middleton and Lady Gaga. The trick is getting a picture of Kate Middleton with Lady Gaga.” “And have you?” “Not yet. But she’s a long way from dead, and hopefully so are they.” Cole laughed. In a strange way, the woman reminded her a little bit of Aiden. The same conviction, the same merciless drive, although focused and expressed very differently. She guessed it was becoming pretty apparent she had a type.But mainly Cole was grateful. Now, when she looked across the room, she met smiles. Flashes of recognition in other people’s eyes. She knew faces and names. She could have joined some of the conversations. Instead of drifting around pathetically. Stil