Chapter 1: From the First Day

We sat laughing gleefully at Saltz – the newest hotbed for the college students, middle income socialites and D-list celebrities of Metro Heights. Gorging on Pate, steak and fancy French cheeses, and wine that doesn’t quite pair well with the fish. Our lives seemed fairly great for a couple of college interns. Oh, how the time flies.

“And he’s a total dick” Jordan said

“The man ignores me for the first two weeks I start working there, acts all friendly with me, gets my opinion on things, makes me join meetings...” He continues.

“Just to go and take all MY Work and hand it to our boss on a silver fucking platter” he said exhaustedly waving his hands around

“Yikes.” Taylor said with a mouth full of steak. Alex smiled lovingly in her direction.

“And had the nerve to make me sit there in the meeting while he did all this, just to give me this shit-eating grin afterwards,” he said.

“Well did you say anything to him?” Emma asked.

“YES! I brought it up right after and he acted like he didn’t even know what I was talking about, he looked at me like I was one of those people who talk to themselves on the subway” he said frustratedly.

“Now, he’s just been fucking me over ever since.” He sighed. 

"Well that's one way to put it" Alex teased while chewing on his food. 

“And at least you’re getting paid, so it all equals out sweetie.” Taylor joked, gently rubbing his back. I huffed out a laugh, while Jordan rolled his eyes and smiled. Alex sat quietly at the end of the table smiling - dimples adorned.

Before anyone gets any ideas, no I don’t have a thing for Alex. Well…not anymore…I kind of did back when I first came to the city, all of us became friends pretty quickly. We all selected the same first year elective for socio-economic studies, and things kinda just evolved from there. As for Alex and I, well once we all got to hanging out as a group, 5 times a week, we all got pretty comfortable with each other, then we all started getting busy – you know school and all. Soon, 5 became 4, 4 became 3 then it dwindled down to just us 2.

We started doing movie nights, platonic date nights, grab coffee together, grab lunch together and one particular night, after two bottles of cheap rose, and while watching that one staircase scene from Bridgerton, things got pretty heated, and then more heated and more heated until we eventually found ourselves on my chevron floors, fucking in front of the fireplace. Trust me it was more romantic than I’m making it seem, it was so cheesy yet so cute.  They continued to get more heated over the next couple of months, every time we got together it basically guaranteed that we’d both be naked by the end of us meeting up – at my apartment, at his apartment, in the school canteen bathrooms, in a coffee shop bathroom. Honestly the hottest thing I’d done in my life. These moments were coupled with sweet forehead kisses, nights in cooking for each other and great moments just sitting, talking and making each other laugh. I really thought we had something.

And then came the morning of what I like to call the “voice mail from hell”.

We were at his place and I was in the kitchen making myself some breakfast while Alex was in the shower, getting ready to go off to a meeting he had arranged for the Architecture team he was heading this semester. Suddenly I saw his phone start vibrating for the nth time, this time so hard it almost unhooked itself from its charging port and fell off the counter. That’s when I decided to finally pick it up. I knew Alex could here it from where it he was, and normally he would tell me to answer but since he didn’t, I didn’t bother. But I got curious.

Big mistake. Never get curious.

“Hey it’s Jordan calling should I answer?” I shouted

“No, just let it go to voicemail, I’ll get back to him”. He answered.

“Yeah but he’s been calling for-“ the ringing suddenly stopped. “Oh – well never mind he hung up” I yelled again.

Again – I got curious, and what don’t you do ladies and gentlemen?

[bleep – you have one new message]

“Hey Alex, I think I left my watch at your place. You know the one with the navy-blue, with diamonds on the face? Give me a call when you see it, and also next time you call me for midnight to fuck, make sure I don’t leave any of my shit at your house okay – Thanks”

[end – bleep]

….

I just stared at the phone. I didn’t move. Didn’t breathe, didn’t do anything. When I decided t finally look up and look towards the bedroom, there he was in the doorway. Towel wrapped around his perfectly around his waist. Dark Blonde hair draped barely over his eyebrows, blue eyes boring into my green ones. He smiled, ever-so charmingly and leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed and then proceeded to stride into the kitchen.

“So, uh Jordan left a voicemail” I laughed awkwardly.

“Oh yeah, what he say?” he huffed out as he leaned down, rummaging through his lower cabinets trying to find another frying pan.  

“He said um…that he left his watch he after you guys…you know” I said

“Oh yeah that – I should really return that to him. I found it on the nightstand and had no idea whose it was” He answered laughing it off.

He had no idea- how many people have had sex with this man in this apartment besides me?

“So uh – that message “I laughed anxiously

“What about it?” he smiled all too obliviously.

“You wanna tell me what its about?” I urged him further, still trying to remain calm and polite.

“Oh that, nothing really, just something Jordan and I do once in a while – kind of like you and me” he shrugged, saying this almost too mater-of-fact like.

“Like us?” I softly said, as a look of confusion came over my face. He looked down at me and suddenly his enthusiastic and pure smile dropped into a gentle look of worry.

‘Well yeah, I thought – you know we were just having fun. Nothing too serious you know?” He said placing the pan on the counter and turning back to face me again. No, no I really didn’t know. I looked directly into his chest – I couldn’t dare look him in the eyes. He’d fucking reel me back in all too quickly. I gently placed a hand on his chest and traced the fine lines of his pecks, and then gently dropped it and began walking away from him without a word.

“You don’t have a problem with this do you?”  he questioned, almost as if he was to jump to any assumption to try ready and judge me for the hurt that he clearly caused.

I turned back at him appalled. He wasn’t going to take that road and get away with this so easily.

“If you’re implying what I think you’re implying then no I don’t” I said, as my anger began coming to the surface.

“So, the issue is?” he said, stepping forward calmly.

“The issue is monogamy Alex. You don’t just get to have both of us and expect us to be okay with this” I plainly said.

“I don’t HAVE anyone” he said matter-of-factly, again. Now it was really beginning to hurt.

“What?” I said quietly.

“I’m not looking for anyone right now and Jordan knows that. He knows about you and he knows what this” he proceeded to point back and forth between the two of us “Is. I thought we were all on the same page” he said.

I stood stunned for a moment. I didn’t even know Jordan and I had even taken out the same book – let alone were reading the same fucking page. I would have gladly given it to him and stayed far away.

And in that moment, my…love? For him was gone. Not because of what he did, but because he didn’t think doing it with just me was enough for him. In that moment all the emotions I felt relating to anger or annoyance, even irritation – just vanished.

“Yeah – yeah, no – yeah we – I know what this” I proceeded to mimic his gesture from earlier “is. I was just waiting for you to tell me.” I said looking down. I looked back up at him and saw a look of pity on his face. I have to get out of here.

“Maya” he began to reach out for me but touching right now just wouldn’t feel right. I stepped away from him. I walked into his room and began packing my things into my drawstring vintage Coach backpack.

“I have to go – I’ll see you later okay? I have class now” I said frantically shoving things into my bag.

“We both don’t have class today” He looked at me curiously, brows knitted together, worry evident in his voice, though I don’t want to look at him and see how he’s really feeling.

“I know I meant I have a work thing I need to finish, you don’t take a break when you’re a social media manager you know?” I choked hurriedly rushing past him. He gently gripped my arm and pulled me in to face him. He placed his finger ever-so softly under my chin and gently lifted my face to look at him. I could only stare into his eyes for a minute for I felt like I would start crying.

“I have to go – I’m sorry” that’s all I could manage. Then I kissed his forehead and left. That was the last time I ever stepped foot in his apartment. The next few weeks I spent avoiding his calls, dodging him at our usual go-to spots, and just overall trying not to bump into him anywhere. But somehow the city is only big when you least want it to be.

I happened to be on a date with a digital artist and surrealist Painter named Spencer Lodge, Heir to the brilliantly named “Lodge Hotels” dynasty, at a 15^th West Avenue paint-and-dine spot called “Dada”.

A beautiful spot, something out a movie really. Nothing but dark green leather booths, burgundy walls, with mid-century linen and brass modern lighting, dimly lit to illuminate the room in the best way possible. The walls were covered with oil paintings made by the owner and customers alike, including a collection of celebrity clientele painted plates hung ornamentally on a wooden beam above everyone’s heads.

We were painting some flute champagne glasses and having some stuffed mushrooms and garlic bread as starters when I felt as though someone was staring at me from across the room. I brushed the feeling off and continued trying to have a good time.

Spencer was nice, respectable, and very cute, but he was very dull. I mean beige on beige dull. Which says a lot for an artist.

I tried smiling politely throughout the entire first 30 minutes, casually nodding at whatever he seemed to say while looking at my glass.

“Excuse me, I have to use to men’s room – I’ll be right back” he smiled sweetly.

“Sure” I unenthusiastically smiled, and he cutely kissed my cheek and walked off. I sighed and poured myself my third glass wine.

“You look like you’re having the time of your life” a voice sarcastically said in front of me.

“Oh I am I – “ I looked up and my heart momentarily stopped “ Oh.” I finished.

“Oh?” He smiled “Oh is all you can say after not seeing me for 10 weeks?” he questioned. I just shrugged while swirling my wine around in my glass.

“Maya? Seriously?” he said cocking his head to the side “You’re ignoring me for this guy?” he laughed.

“I can’t ignore someone I’m not with Alex. I just didn’t want to talk to you. That’s all.” I said plainly.

“Maya” he started.

“Why are you even here?” I asked, irritated.

“Just needed to get out.” He said softly. “My partner in crime won’t answer my calls so now I just wander around by myself” he playfully sighed. “No one is as fun as her” he smiled. I just rolled my eyes.

“No one is as amazing as her” he began listing “No one Is as beautiful as her” and I slowly, and I mean slowly began to crack.

“It’s a horrible thing to go through. This horrible death I’m going through.” he said as he began to stand up. I know exactly what he was doing.

“ The death of a bachelor” he began belting out as he stood up and raised him arms singing. I instantly pulled him back into his seat and shushing him. I was now smiling ear to ear.

“Happy ever after ohhhhh” he gently whispered to me and all I could do was laugh quietly. God he was so embarrassing.

“I miss you” He gently whispered “Come back to me Maya” I felt his breathe on my lips, he was too close. I reeled myself back into my seat. He looked at my, pleading with those big beautiful baby blues, and all I could do was shrug and laugh.

“I – “ I began.

“Ahem” Spencer coughed awkwardly from the side of the table.

“Oh my god Spencer I –“ I started again.

“No worries” he interrupted, voice to gentle and kind. A hint of hurt evident on his face.

“I thought it would be best to finally insert myself in here before things go any further just to tell you I’m leaving.” he said taking his jacket from the back of his chair.

“Spencer, no wait” I said.

“No worries, really. I knew what I was getting into trying to compete with – “he turned to Alex who only had an embarrassed look on his face “him. I mean you guys were always together on campus and I heard the rumours and I ignored them because I thought you were so beautiful and kind and you always helped me when it came to ITM102 and Mr Braun and I-“ he hurriedly mumbled out. I got up and gently stroked his arm.

“Spencer” I whispered sadly. He smiled disappointingly.

“You weren’t having fun – I could see it.” he smiled softly, “Anyway” he sighed and extended walked over to Alex extending his hand.

“I hope I was a good contender” he said and Alex reluctantly shook it and with that he kissed my cheek for the last time that evening, and left – not before I heard him tell the waiter to put everything we ate after he left on his tab. I really fucked up.

“Well, that was awkward” Alex said. I turned back to him clearly irritated.

“Why, why would you come here and try to ruin this?” I sighed with my head in my hands.

“Ruin what? Something that clearly wasn’t going anywhere” he exhaled.

“Well that seems to be what you do, why wouldn’t leave this one up to me I’ll never fucking know” I said. Another of those tense moments of silence between us hit. I hate these.

“I’m going home” I said getting up, chugging the last of my wine down my throat and walking to the towards the door. I managed to walk two restaurants down when he caught up to me, carrying a bottle of wine and takeout.

“What are you fucking doing Alex” I exasperatedly yelled at him.

“Making sure you get home safe” he said in a monotone.

“Fuck off – “, I yelled.

“You’re drunk and I am not letting you walk home alone” he said. I stared at him for a moment then stared at the bottle of wine he held in his hand. He followed my eyes, said nothing and we continued to walk in silence.

“Thanks” I quietly slurred, outside my apartment door.

“No problem” he said plainly again. “I got you this” he said as he held up a bottle of sweet Red – my favourite.

“Think of it as an ‘I’m sorry I ruined you’re only chance at love because I’m a jackass” wine’” he said. And all I did was nod, take the bottle and opened my door. I trekked my way through to my kitchen and heard the door close behind me.

“Don’t worry I’m not staying” he said as I turned to stare at him “I just want to make sure you’re actually inside and safe, considering that you left the door wide open, I think waiting for you to sleep then letting myself out would be the best option” he rationalised.

The truth is, I would like to think, is that he didn’t want to leave. At least that’s what I tell myself every time I think back to this moment. That and the fact that one of my neighbours was an old peeping tom, him staying to a bit then locking up was the best option. It was the only option I had, and I was going to take it.

I leaned against my kitchen island as he rummaged through the fridge, trying to find something to eat. Once he had some strawberries in his mouth and a hand full of some old roast chicken, he turned back to face me. I was currently staring at the ground, which seemed to be getting closer and closer the more I stared at it.

“Woah” he said dropping all the food near the sink and grabbing onto me “There we go sleepy” he laughed softly. I heavily pulled my head up to stare at him, and gently touched his face through hooded eyes. We just stared at each other. Then, I kissed him. And he began to kiss me back. He grabbed my waist and sat me on top of the island. The kiss began to get heated, I touched the back of his neck pulling him in closer. I didn’t want him to go, I knew I didn’t feel the same way about him like I used to but something about this being so familiar felt too good.

He moaned. God, it was so beautiful. Fuck.

“Stop” he said and he pulled back. “We can’t baby” he said softly.

“Please” I chocked, holding back tears.

“No, we can’t” he said “You’re drunk, I’m drunk – this isn’t right.” He began and I tore my face aware from his. He gently pulled it to face him again.

“I saw what I did tonight. I finally got why you didn’t want to speak to me – fuck I don’t blame you “he gently laughed “That’s why we can’t” he said. I tried to pry my face from under his grip but due to being under the influence, my strength and my ability to make good choices were at an all time low.

“Look at me please” he said and that’s when I finally looked into his eyes.

“I love you more than anyone” he said, eyes searching mine “But I can’t love you like that” he said “Not right now” he finished softly.

And that ladies and gentlemen, was what broke me. It broke me in a way that is unexplainable – like it finally just set in – my brain already knew where I was but my heart hadn’t caught up yet. It broke me so silently; you could have tipped me over and I actually would have shattered. I didn’t even make a sound. I just felt hot tears run down my face. He pecked me, picked me up and pulled me onto the couch, where I fell asleep in his arms.

He woke me up the next morning with a Keuring made Vanilla Latte, and we had a lengthy conversation about everything. Top to bottom, how we were feeling and what it was going to take to get back to the way we were because to be honest – we missed each other.

It didn’t take as long as I thought it would, it only took about two months, and we were relatively back to normal. The dates were back on, the coffee rendezvous’ and lunch dates – but this time just those. Nothing else.

Nobody else in our friend group noticed because we had all been living such separate lives at that time, that when we all came back together it felt like time never really went forward. We just picked up where we left off.

Now almost three and half years later and here we are, all earning moderate incomes, making our way through the corporate world, learning all the ins and outs, networking and getting screwed [over] by our colleagues – just as God intended.

Looking around this table and seeing how far we’ve come makes, I’m proud. I just hope we can keep it up. Here’s to the start of something new. Adult life in the city of dreams.  

Welcome to life in Metro City. The city that never sleeps.