Truth is Ugly

Calling my sister was a big mistake. 

My hands trembled, and I felt like the world was spinning beneath my feet.

The muscles holding my legs steady turned to jelly. Tears streamed down my face before I could fully process what that meant.

My chest felt tight, and as I fell to the floor, I hugged my knees, sobbing bitterly.

The truth was a hard slap to the face. 

Time made no difference right now. However, I couldn't make any noise and wake Aunt Hilda. 

Explaining what was going on and why I was crying could lead to me spilling the truth. The last thing I needed was to complicate the matters at hand.

But should I really think about that right now? I just learned that Kyle, my Kyle, gave his life to save mine.

And yet, he was here. 

That was the part that I couldn't grasp. Wiping the tears angrily, I took a moment to consider what to do.

I wasn't sure what the next steps were. In my mind, all I wanted was to hug Kyle and forget I even called my sister. 

That would be easier to accept. However, I couldn't lie to myself like this.

I need to know the truth. 

I need to understand what's going on.

Whose truth should I even believe?

Forcing myself to get to my feet, I headed for the stairs, taking each step one at a time. My heart was thundering inside my chest.

My hands were trembling again when I reached the door to my room. I had no strength left to turn the knob. But I managed.

It was too dark, and I had no plans to switch on the lights.

"Katie," 

I gasped and almost stumbled over, trying to locate where the voice came from. I felt for the switch beside the door and found Kyle standing beside my bed, his expression unreadable.

Caught up with the whirlwind of emotions, I found my feet walking towards him. 

I wanted to throw myself at him and ask him to assure me that he was okay, that I wasn't hallucinating or that I wasn't talking to his ghost.

The last part stopped me dead in my tracks.

I placed a hand over my heart and blinked away the tears that were beginning to form once more, seeing him there and knowing this might just all be a dream or some part of my hallucination and nothing more.

"You knew, didn't you?" I uttered, my voice barely audible. "Tell me, Kyle. Tell me honestly."

I stared straight towards his dazzling hazel eyes, his image blurring as tears rolled down my eyes. The way he was looking at me made this confrontation unbearable. 

The weight of the truth I was so close to grasping, gnawing at my very soul, tipped the scale holding my sanity.

"You're real, right? You're not a ghost or a speck of my imagination." I kept my gaze locked on him, hoping he would say yes and tell me he was real.

"Katie," 

Kyle took a step towards me. The look in his eyes already answered my question.

I held my hand up in denial.

I need to hear him say it. 

"Stay. Stay right there. You can't come near me unless you tell me what's going on and what you are." 

My voice trembled at the end. I clenched my hands, blinking back the tears that wouldn't stop from coming. 

Kelsea's voice echoed in my head.

'I'm so sorry, Kate.'

And why was she sorry?

Was she sorry because I had to find this way? Or was she sorry because I was alive and Kyle wasn't?

"Katie,"

"I said tell me, Kyle!" I demanded, shaking my head in defeat after watching Kyle stare at me helplessly breaking apart before him.

"Katie, I'm sorry."

"No," I murmured, falling to my knees once more. "I heard enough apologies."

"Kate," 

I shook my head, crying unstoppably now.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you."

I lifted my head and gritted my teeth in annoyance.

"Then just tell me!"

"It's not that simple, Kate."

"And you think that not telling me made this simple? I'm losing my mind, Kyle! Please! I beg you."

The sobs followed my outrage. A few minutes ago, I was so concerned about Aunt Hilda waking up, but as of the moment, I don't seem to care anymore.

She can wake up and scold me. Then ask me who the guy in the room was.

That way, I can know for sure that this was no dream.

"Kate," 

I shook my head for the nth time, gathering and hugging my knees while rocking myself.

"Kyle, please."

A profound silence stilled me. I was afraid to lift my head.

I was afraid to no longer find Kyle with me.

However, that wasn't the case, to my relief.

Kyle had crouched before me. His familiar scent and proximity were enough to drive me crazy. It was thrilling, but I had to remind myself that I should be mad.

I have no idea what he was or who he was even. At this point, he can be whatever and yet, I don't think I could love him any less.

"Alright," Kyle whispered, keeping a somewhat respectable distance. His hazel eyes danced in the dim light, calming me a little. "I'll try to tell you, but this won't be easy. And no one can know about this."

"If it's too crazy, I don't think anyone would believe me."

A chuckle escaped his lips, making me almost surrender to the desire to pull him to me and forget everything I had learned a few minutes ago.

"Okay. Well, here goes nothing then," Kyle took a deep breath. "I'm somewhere between the living and the dead. Please don't ask me how's that possible. I have no answers either."

I stared at Kyle, waiting for him to laugh and admit that he was joking. But that didn't happen.

"Kate?"

"I'm sorry," I answered, my brows furrowed in confusion. "That's not a funny joke, Kyle."

"I wish it was, Kate. Believe me," he paused, throwing his head back with a heavy sigh. I watched him stare at the ceiling, running a hand through his hair.

He was clearly frustrated. But I was aware that he was aiming that at himself.

When he looked back at me, his brows were pulled together. The corners of his mouth drew a thin line.

"There's nothing in this life I wish more than to be with you, Katherine," he reached out to touch my face. "But if I were to relive that night, I'd still make the same choice."

At that moment, images flashed in my head—the inevitable crash echoing in my ears.

My eyes cried.

My heart wailed.

And my soul was in agony.

"You chose to save me," I murmured, leaning to his touch. "But not all of me was saved."