Chapter Two ~ Ariana

"Hey mama!" Tracy squealed just before she tickled Ava's belly with the tip of her nose. My little girl giggled so loud I concluded she had favorites. She never did that with me.

"Hey Ari." She hugged me from the side. "How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Great,"

"You look great." I stated the obvious. The glow on her was radiant, her and Aiden had never been happier with their three beautiful babies. How lucky...

"Thank you. Have you been sleeping? Your eyes kinda look puffy."

"Ava wouldn't let me sleep if I tried." I sighed exhaustedly, handling a new set of clothes that I had to sort for laundry day.

"She's twelve weeks old, she should be over that phase by now."

"Well no, she's not and I have to bear the brunt of waking up to a beeping baby monitor."

"Damien?"

"He works. I can't disturb him after a long day at work especially because I do nothing all day as a full time mom." I ended up saying that a little more aggressively than I intended.

"Okay." She exhaled loudly. ''There is certainly trouble in paradise."

"This doesn't feel like paradise." I said in a tired whisper.

"Talk to me, what's going on?" She seemed really concerned now.

"I'm exhausted Tracy," I told her honestly.

"Is everything okay between you and Damien?"

"We had a fight." One of the many ones that had been going on lately.

"That's not new. But it seems like this is a little different."

"It is." I admitted.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No. Enough about me. How are the kids?" I immediately switched to a lighter tone.

"More than glad that they're in school right now. I finally have enough time to myself."

"The way I want to be you right now." I exaggerated a groan, lifting the laundry basket to hand over to one of the helps who was already waiting at the door for me.

"Please do not mix the whites with the other colours, please." I said with emphasis, as I showed her the demarcations I had done in the basket.

"Yes ma'am." She nodded.

I pointed at a pile of of clothes, "Not too much detergent with these, Damon gets very irritable when he perceives them."

She nodded again, "Yes ma'am."

"And-"

"Ariana she knows the drill already. Stop worrying so much." A familiar voice piped up out o the blue. How did I not notice her presence?

I chuckled nervously, "Just making sure Ma Rosa."

"Come give me a hug." She spread her arms wide.

I snuggled into her warm embrace. "Loosen up a little bit my love, we're all here for you." She said encouragingly.

I didn't get what that meant but I nodded anyways. This was my chance. "I'll just go and lie down. Tracy, you got her right?"

"Absolutely. You take your time," She said, already getting carried away with baby fever.

I smiled at her and she mirrored it. Mother to mother, she understood that I needed a moment to myself. I went straight into our bathroom and sat underneath the shower. I turned on the water and let it soak me as I cried my eyes out.

Why was I weeping like a child? I didn't know. I just felt so much heaviness in my heart, I needed to offload it somehow. I ended up yelling for a bit. Thankfully, my shouts were drowned out by the heavy splatters of rushing water against the bathroom tiles.

I lost track of time being in there. It felt so long yet so short and I still hadn't run out of tears. All that pent up emotion for months on end and this was the only form of catharsis I could get without bothering anyone in the process, or so I thought.

Unexpectedly the shower door came open, startling a scream out of me.

"Babe, what is this?"

I barely heard his words over the noise of the water so he quickly turned it off and wrapped a towel around me as he picked me off the floor.

"When did you get back?" I asked so casually, it had him pause for a second. Without a response, he took me into the closet and got me in a new pair of dry clothes after wiping me thoroughly.

Leading me back to bed, he asked if I wanted some hot tea and sensing he would be mad if I declined, I nodded wordlessly.

Damien waited until I was done with that cup of tea before speaking again and trust me, I took my time.

"What happened Ariana?" He asked calmly.

"I... I don't know. I just needed a moment." I said softly.

"Tracy told me you had been in there for hours. That's certainly not a moment,"

My eyes grew wider. Hours? That little bit of time I wanted to cry with turned into hours? How?

"I don't know how time flew by so fast. I just wanted some minutes to myself." I told him, feeling a pang of guilt for seeming negligent.

"What's going on baby? Talk to me,"

"It's just..." It was in that moment that I realized I didn't know what was wrong with me. I just felt a burden and I could not explain what it was. "I don't know, Damien." I sighed.

"Come here." He spread his arms out and I practically crawled into his hold. Placing a comforting kiss on my head, he said, "You're my baby and I love you more than anything."

"I love you too." I said, blinking back the tears that were flooding my eyes at his sweet words. I needed that reassurance every day of my life.

"I promised to always be here for you, so don't hold back or hide anything from me. Just because we're parents now doesn't mean we can't be the Damien and Ariana who started this journey on that beautiful day in August, some years ago. Okay baby?"

I loved the reminder of our wedding, whichever one he was referring to. I nodded, "Okay."

"Now give daddy a kiss,"

"That sounds so weird now." I chortled.

"I know," He let out a deep chuckle just before locking his lips with mine for a brief moment.

"Get some sleep. I'll take care of the kids tomorrow. You rest as much as you can cause you deserve it." He said out of nowhere.

"But babe-"

"No buts babe. Just rest, okay?" He was serious. I reluctantly agreed.

"No stepping out of this room unless it's absolutely necessary." He practically ordered.

"Who's going to feed your daughter?" I had to remind him in case he forgot I was a nursing mother.

"Who fed her while you were away today?" He countered.

I kept mute.

"I thought so. Good night baby." He pecked my nose and excused himself.

By the time he got out of the shower, I was out like a light.

~~~

"Where's mommy?" I heard the next morning when the door came slightly opened. That sounded like Darian, he always looked out for me.

"Mummy's asleep." Damien answered him.

"Mummy doesn't sleep in the morning. Who's going to get us ready for school?" Always the observant one. I smiled at how well he knew me.

"I'm right in front of you Darian." His father responded.

"But, you have to go to work,"

"I'm not going to work today."

"Whoa. Is mummy sick?" That was definitely Damon. He sounded breathless so early in the morning from never ending runs around the house. This boy was going to be an athlete, I was so sure.

"She isn't. She's resting today and I don't want any of you bothering her. Now let's go." He ended their hallway conversation, shutting the door behind him as he most probably led them to their room for a bath.

Staring up at the ceiling, I puffed out a few breaths. It was a routine for me to up and doing stuff by this time of the day and Damien making me stay in all day wasn't such a great idea for me.

I got up to brush my teeth and wash my face before heading over to the nursery to make sure my baby was alright, then I had to make sure to pump some extra milk for her feeding. I planned it all out in my head.

I was barely out of the room when I saw one of the helps scurry into the boys' bedroom, wielding their towels and allergy ointment. She barely uttered a greeting to me as she frantically hurried into the room. Feeling alarmed all of a sudden, I ran after her.

"What's going on?" I walked in on Damon wailing and screaming.

"I think he's having an allergic reaction to the soap." The help said.

"Oh my goodness what soap did you use?"

"I used the um," he grabbed the bottle and showed me.

"Did you use the same soap for both of them?" My eyes went as wide as saucers when I asked.

"They don't use the same soap?" He cluelessly asked back.

"No they don't!!!" I yelled, snatching the lotion from the help and immediately applying it on Damon. Why did I agree to letting him take care of the kids in the first place?

"I'm so sorry babe I didn't know." He apologized but I wasn't up for it.

"Of course you didn't. You're never around any way."

"Babe that's not fair, it was a mistake." He said and I ignored him. Then he looked at the help and told her to leave.

"Go to the nursery and get me my baby," I said just as she turned to go.

"Yes ma'am."

It took some minutes but the itchiness reduced and my son was back to normal. I got both of them ready for school in no time and made sure they had breakfast even as I fed Ava, before letting Damien drop them off at school.

The argument started when he returned.

"You really did not have to yell at me like that Ariana. Especially not in front of the kids."

"I wouldn't have yelled at you like that if you had simply done the right thing." I retorted unapologetically.

"I made a mistake, yes, I admit it but you really have to chill out. Stop acting like I'm not a good father."

"Well, are you?" I probably shouldn't have said that.

I watched him swallow and exhale sharply. "Ariana, I was only trying to help you, my wife who seemed exhausted and needed a break from being a doting mother. I'm sorry for trying to help."

Ava just had to get fussy at this point, almost like she felt the tension in the room.

"I'll go place her in her crib." I said to him, not sure what I was expecting as a response when he did not say anything.

I locked myself in Ava's nursery, doing everything I could to put her to sleep. I sat on the floor, rocking her back and forth, danced around the room, sang and eventually just gave up after repeating the process over and over.

She eventually dozed off when I stayed still with my back against the wall, staring out into space with her head on my heaving chest. I believed the steady rhythm put her to sleep a lot quicker. I carefully placed her in her pretty pink cot and went back to my seating position.

I had to apologize to Damien, I knew I was overreacting but I didn't know how to stop myself from lashing out. It seemed like that was all I did now, just fight with him over and over.

A faint knock on the door that could easily have been missed but for how motherhood had sharpened my sense of hearing in an almost totally soundproof house. I got up and tiptoed towards the door and opened it slightly.

"Hey," He held his palm out for me to take it.

"Damien I'm sorry-"

"Shh," He hushed me, "Just come with me."

I followed him, shutting the door behind me slightly while he led us to our bedroom.

Plastering my face and neck with kisses as soon as the door shut behind us, he immediately began to undress me.