Chapter Five ~ Ariana

Pools. I liked them sometimes and other times I didn't. Today was one of those days that the latter was my sentiment. Why? Damien packed me a two piece bikini. One I hadn't worn since before my last pregnancy.

"Can you take that blanket off you for a minute?"

"No." I muttered.

"At least smile,"

I faked a forceful grin and frowned again. Taking me by surprise, he yanked my covering off me. "Damien!" I gasped, trying to take it back but he took it out of my reach.

"Damien Kingston, this isn't funny." I told him sternly.

"Baby look at me," He held my chin in place even when I tried to look away. I had never felt so insecure in my life and people around staring made it even worse.

"Damien I don't want to be here an-"

"You're beautiful." He cut me short. I could not bring myself to respond to that. "Ariana, look at me,"

I freed myself from his grip and ran off, not without wrapping myself with the blanket.

I could hear him following me but I didn't look back. Crazy how he didn't outrun me as usual. Getting to our suite some minutes later, I locked myself in the bathroom.

"Ariana." He knocked lightly. "Come on, let's talk,"

"I don't want to talk to you." I said. Sitting myself inside the bathtub, with my chin resting on my knees.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything!" I sniffed.

"Baby maybe we should talk to a doctor."

"I'm not ill." I retorted quickly.

He sighed, "I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying that maybe we need medical help. There might be a diagnosis for this."

"I don't wanna go." I said.

"Don't do this for me. Do it for the kids."

"Don't try to guilt trip me Damien, I do my best for them." I said, a little aggravated at the mention of our children.

"Yes! We all see that and I personally, I really appreciate you. But part of of being great mom, means taking care of yourself when need be. I want the mother of my kids to be fine in every aspect."

"I know I'm not as beautiful as I used to look. I have a mom bod now and I'm so fat!" I cried out.

"You're still as beautiful as the first time I met you. Even more now. Don't think so low about yourself." He said to placate me.

I found my face flooded with tears. His words, despite how sweet they were, still did not hold water cause I already felt the way I did and nothing could change it.

"Baby let me in. Please," Damien pleaded softly. I kept quiet for a long period of time.

"Promise you won't touch me." I had to make him promise cause Damien's super solution in times like these was a great time in the bedroom. I didn't want that.

"I promise." He said after a moment of silence.

I slowly got on my feet and made it to the door. I turned the lock and opened the door slightly. He slipped in, letting his concerned grey orbs scan my features.

"Come here," He slowly spread his arms for me to go into them. I went into his embrace and just stayed there enjoying the rhythm of his beating heart.

"I want you to be okay."

"I know..." I whimpered, shutting my eyes as the burning sting of tears hit them.

"Deep breaths," He urged me softly.

Damien put me to sleep minutes later. And by the time I was awake, he had booked an appointment with a psychologist, much to my dismay. He knew how much I hated talking about my feelings with total strangers. He was the only one I talked to about how I truly felt about anything, I told him.

"But we haven't been talking much lately, have we?" He responded. That was a fact that I had nothing to counter with.

"I don't wanna go." I sulked like one of the boys with my arms folded across my chest.

"You have to." He said and planted a kiss on my forehead. That was a subtle note of finality.

~~~

"Hoping we're expecting baby number four after your sizzling weekend getaway." She winked.

"Not a chance Fifi." I told her with a laugh.

"Oh come on, I love seeing you pregnant." She mimicked a childlike voice.

"Well I'd like to see you pregnant." I retorted with a snort.

She blew out a sharp breath. "With all that I had to see you go through, especially in labour, not a chance Ari."

"I thought so." I laughed. "How's work?"

"It's good."

"How's Henry?" I asked wiggling my brows teasingly as she blushed about her brand new boyfriend.

"Oh he's the sweetest person ever!" She gushed about his grand gestures with a huge grin on her face and I smiled, glad that she was getting all the love she deserved.

"Now if I wasn't already married to your brother, I would be so jealous." I teased.

"You and I know that Damien has set the bar so high, it'd take a lot to more for Henry to cross it." She said.

"I know that's right!" Damien appeared behind me and planted a kiss on my cheek before giving his sister a smug look.

"I thought he wasn't around. You betrayed me!" She pouted at me.

"I-" I tried to defend myself but as always, Damien cut me short.

"You know I'm always around my wife Fiona." He said, wrapping his arms around me to spite her even more.

"Are you? Really?" I countered his statement with a hint of sarcasm in my tone.

"Of course I am!" He exclaimed.

"Okay you two get off my screen, I need to see my baby." Fiona waved us away.

I gladly took myself out of Damien's grip and headed to Ava, laid in her mini crib in the middle of our bed.

"Oh she's so much bigger now. I need to see her before she grows even more." Fiona gushed with a squeaky voice.

"You better be on the next flight then." I remarked.

"I wish I could but this job," She groaned.

"I know baby but you'll be fine. Your nephews are dying to see you." The boys kept asking about her. She was the fun aunty without kids that they could do all the crazy stuff with, no wonder she was their favorite.

"I miss them toooo." Her pout grew deeper.

"Okay enough ladies. We have an appointment babe." Damien stepped into the conversation once again.

I said a proper goodbye to Fiona and ended the call before facing him squarely. "You really have to stop doing that."

"Doing what?" He stretched his wrist over so I could make sure his cufflinks were put in place.

"Interrupting my calls." I said as I aggressively buttoned up the shirt.

"You were talking to my sister." He pointed out.

I sighed a little frustratedly, "I wish this stopped with your relatives. You do it all the time."

"No I don't." He argued.

"Of course you'll never admit you're at fault." I muttered.

"Okay you're taking this too far,"

Now that annoyed me even further, "So I'm overdramatic now?"

He squinted his eyes for a minute. "Are you trying to make me cancel the appointment with the psychologist by picking a fight with me?"

Okay he caught me. But was I gonna admit it? Never!

"Let's just go!" I murmured angrily, picking up our sleepy baby while he carried the diaper bag behind me.

The drive was a quiet one. Being under the radar for the last couple of years has kept media attention away from us and not having to move with a lot of security. The transition from being the billionaire family always in the spotlight to living almost very simple lives was not exactly an easy process but I guessed the world had moved on and were more invested in other couples, thankfully.

"Hello..." Daisy got on her feet to say hi to us. I scowled in my mind, I should have known he was bringing me here.

Aren't there other psychologists in LA? I asked myself.

"Hey Daisy. How are you?" He gave her a side hug while I gave him a side eye which unfortunately, neither of them noticed.

"I'm good. How are you doing?" She asked him back.

"Oh I'm great."

"As always," She returned with a smile.

"Er erm." I cleared my throat. Maybe they forgot I was also in the room.

"Hello Ariana." She was cordial in her greeting.

"Hi Daisy." I responded blankly.

"You look good." She further said.

"You do too." I said with a half-hearted smile.

"Hmm. I see the baby's asleep." She peeped into the carrier Damien had placed down on the couch.

"She is..." Damien answered.

"Okay Mr Kingston you can leave us now."

His eyes darted over to me. "Do I have to? I think she needs me here,"

"You can be there to support her when she needs you but the healing process has to be done alone. It's not a couple counseling session so we have to minimize interruptions." Daisy responded professionally.

"Does this mean I have to take the baby with me?" He asked again.

She nodded, "That would be very much appreciated."

"I want her here." I stated, giving no room for further discussion on the matter. We had a brief stare down before she looked away.

"Fine then, let's get into it."

Damien excused himself and I was left with her.

Daisy asked questions, lots of them. Many of which I hardly gave answers to. I could tell I was frustrating her with my void answers and lack of emotions in responding but I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of getting into my head when she was that close with my husband.

"Tell Mr Kingston he can come in now," She spoke to her secretary through the intercom minutes before the session was to come to an end.

"Any progress?" He asked a little too eagerly as he walked in.

She chuckled meaningfully, going through her notes. "These things take time Damien,"

He took a seat next to me and gestured for me to come close but I ignored him.

"After cross examining your wife, I think it is safe to say that she is going through postpartum depression."

I was quick to disagree. "What? If this is true why didn't I go through it with the twins?”

"Every pregnancy is different and time changes a lot of things about ourselves." She answered me calmly. I was not subscribing to that energy, not one bit.

I turned to Damien immediately. "This is why I didn't want to come here."

"Ariana can you relax?" He said and then turned to Daisy. "Is there something we can do about this?" He asked her and once again, she nodded.

"Psychotherapy. Meaning, more sessions."

"No." I said immediately.

"Babe-"

"I said no." I vehemently disagreed with a strong head shake.

"Can you wait till we are out of here before arguing with me?!!" He said a little louder than he should have. It had Ava whimpering before bursting into a loud cry that had us all confused.

"Go outside." He said coldly, tongue in cheek with his eyes exuding nothing but a lack of warmth towards me at that moment. I took her and stepped outside without a word.

Pacing all around the lobby, to calm her down, a crazy thought popped in my head. For some reason I found the need to take a walk and because I was mad, I did that without caring to let him know.

I found an oasis out of nowhere. It was so peaceful, I stayed there for such a long time, I almost forgot I had to go home. It felt like my mind was running downhill with a damaged wagon that was going to crash and cause a disaster. Something was wrong with me. I felt like I was going crazy. I needed help as soon as possible.