CHAPTER FOUR

I stand on the doorstep of my home in the pale dawn light.

I clutch my bag between both hands.

I have packed all my belongs inside and am ready to go.

But I still cannot believe it.

I cannot believe I am leaving.

I cannot believe I am joining another pack.

I cannot believe I am leaving behind everything I have ever known.

I cannot believe I am marrying Jeremiah and not Nathaniel.

I look at my father, standing beside Alpha.

"Am I allowed to say goodbye to Nathaniel?" I ask them, hopefully.

They exchange a glance.

I already know the answer.

It's Alpha who tells me what I already know: "I'm sorry. I think it would be for the best to just leave and not upset him."

I lower my eyes to the ground.

It is just as I suspected.

"Will you tell him where I went?" I ask.

"Of course," Alpha replies.

The wind weaves through my hair.

I glance up at the car idling in the driveway, spewing exhaust into the cold air.

My stomach drops with dread.

I take one last long look at my home.

I wish my mother could be here.

Finally, I take a deep breath and look up. "I'm ready," I say.

Alpha nods.

A tear trickles down my cheek.

My father hugs me.

I cling to his arms for as long as I can.

I want to remember the feel of him, strong and protective.

Then he steps back and grabs me by the shoulders.

He kisses me on both cheeks.

I close my eyes to hold in the tears.

He releases me.

I open my eyes and look at him.

"Be happy, my little Bria," he says.

"I will," I promise him.

Then, I take a deep breath, turn, and walk down the driveway.

I join Jeremiah.

He is waiting for me beside the car.

We do not touch.

We do not say anything.

We just walk to the car and climb in.

I sit in the back seat.

Jeremiah sits up front.

I watch him through the rear-view mirror.

Then I look out the window at Alpha and my father.

They are both looking at me with the same expression.

It is a look that says: 'I'm sorry'.

I know they are sorry.

So am I.

I feel sorry for Nathaniel.

I feel sorry for myself.

I feel sorry for my father who will no longer have a woman around the house to help.

But I know Alpha and Jeremiah are doing the right thing.

I know it is what the packs need.

That it is the only way to avoid a war.

But it does not make me feel any better about this.

The car moves forward, and we are off.

This is really happening.

This is really happening.

I am leaving my home.

I am leaving my friends.

I am leaving my father.

I am leaving Nathaniel.

I will never see my home again.

I want so much to talk to Nathaniel.

I wish I could have told him how I feel.

But I know Alpha was right about it being best to avoid telling him.

I look at Jeremiah.

He is completely silent.

He does not say a word to me.

I understand why.

He is in love with another too.

He is being forced to make a huge sacrifice too.

He must be thinking similar things to me.

Feeling similar things.

We share the same pain.

Maybe he won't care about my happiness?

Maybe he will resent me?

I feel like I am going to cry, so I look out the window and watch the trees go by.

They are so green and lush.

This is the last time I will ever see the Great Forest.

I can't help but think through the generations of families I am descended from.

Of the hundreds of years my family has lived here.

I try to put on a brave face but I am numb.

"I'm sorry," a voice says, softly.

I look up.

Jeremiah is watching me with his emerald green eyes.

"I'm sorry," he says again.

I nod.

I am not angry with him.

It is not his fault.

I am not angry at all.

It is no one's fault.

It is just the way things must be to prevent bloodshed.

That is the way it has to be.

I wipe the first tears away.

We drive for a long time.

I look up.

Jeremiah is looking at me in the rear-view mirror.

He is staring at me.

I stare back at him.

He smiles at me.

My heart flutters.

He really is handsome.

Maybe it will be okay.

Maybe I will like living with him.

Maybe I will like him and he will like me.

Maybe life will be good.

I will make this work.

We will make this work.

I am not sure how I can possibly do that, but I will.

We drive up a hill, and the trees clear.

"We're home," Jeremiah says.

I startle, and put a hand on my chest to try to calm my breathing.

I look out the window as a large, white mansion comes into view.

It is beautiful.

It is three stories high, with white columns and large, white double doors.

The grounds are impeccably tended.

There is a large fountain in front of the mansion, bubbling softly.

The mansion is surrounded by forest.

I can't see any other houses anywhere.

We are completely isolated here.

The car comes to a stop.

We have arrived.

My stomach plummets.

I am not ready for this.

I am not ready for any of this.

I am not ready to go into this huge, intimidating mansion.

I am not ready to marry this handsome stranger.

"Come on, Bria," Jeremiah says. "Let me introduce you to the pack."

He looks at me.

I look back at him.

I look into his green eyes.

They are kind.

They are reassuring.

I swallow hard and clutch my bag tightly.

It is time.