Chapter 1: Painful Truth

I met Steven at a party my boss attended. I worked in a company that produces expensive and branded shoes. They export it to different parts of the world.

I remembered how my heart beat so loudly the first time I met him. He was wearing a black tuxedo and his curly hair was being displayed.

He was very handsome and tall. He is one of those young businessmen who are attractive because of his good looks. I could hardly take my eyes off of him then.

That was the first time I liked a man. But I knew that it was impossible to notice me because of our worlds apart so I tried to suppress my feelings.

But I guess it was fate that brought us together when I was with him in the elevator of the building where I work. I thought I would never see him again, but I was satisfied when I saw him every day in the building, waiting for my boss.

I'm content to see him and I don't want anything else because I know he won't notice me. But I never thought that one day he would come to me to ask for my number and that he would only call me when he and my boss have a meeting.

I can hardly sleep because he has been calling me ever since. I thought it was for work but it turned out to be different and that's when I fell in love with him.

He invited me for dinner. He asked me out on dates until he asked me out and we became friends.

I was a little hurt when he told me that our relationship was a secret. But I trusted him. I believed what he said because I love him. Our secret relationship was happy. He never left me alone and always had time for me. I can feel his love very much and I don't dream of anything else because I am satisfied with him.

Our relationship lasted a year. But, everything changed because of a text that shattered my world. Steven forgot his phone in his condo because he was in a hurry. So when it rang, I looked and there was a message from an unregistered number.

When I opened the message, I almost dropped the phone because of so much panic. My eyes rolled as I stared at the message that broke my heart.

Unknown Number:

Steve, please! Come home here! My parents want to see us both. Let's fix our marriage.

My lips parted and fell into my mouth. I hurriedly got up to search my room with Steven.

It took me a while to search because I couldn't see anything but Steven's stuff. But at the end

drawer, I was stunned and shocked when I saw an envelope. I swallowed as I slowly took it. When I opened the envelope, I almost fell over when I saw a marriage contract and a ring as proof that Steven was married.

My hand was shaking as I put the contract and ring back in the envelope. Tears welled up in my eyes and I could barely breathe at what I have found out. I didn't think I was hooked. I'm not his girlfriend, he's hooking me up. I'm hurting because I'm not aware and I've become too complacent. I clutched my chest and sobbed.

After I left Steven at his condo, I went home to Badian to get my things. I found Mama drinking beer alone.

"Mom!"

I was about to approach her but I was stunned when she suddenly stood up and pointed at me.

"Don't come back here!" She shouted drunkenly as she drank the rest of the wine. "You shameless kid! You don't even send money!"

I closed my eyes to stop myself from crying. I just got back from Steven and this is what I get. It hurts me that Mama is like this just because she is angry with my father who left her on the air when she got pregnant and went back to the real family. I was hurt a lot but I kept my heart up because I love Mama very much and I have a dream. I harbored all her anger towards me.

I swallowed. "Mom, I-I'm sorry-"

"What? Sorry?" She cut me off loudly which surprised me a lot. "I don't need a bastard in my house, pack up and get out of here! I wish I had just aborted you so my life wouldn't be like this! I regret that I brought you into this world. You bitch! You are useless! It's your fault, I hate you!" She yelled while throwing the empty wine bottle on the floor.

I gasped when some broken bottles splashed on my foot causing my foot to bleed. My heart ached as I watched Mama. Her life is miserable and she always blames me. I'm always the one who she gets angry. I picked up the pain and went to the room. There, I cried while lying on the bed.

My eyes are full. Tears still dripped from my eyes as I looked at myself in the mirror. I wiped my tears with my hand and smiled.

"Qotorie... you can do it," I encouraged myself. "You can do it! You are strong and you can handle anything. Okay?"

My voice trembled and my chest tightened even more when I remembered Steven again. I bent down for a moment and tightened my hug on the soft pillow. My dark room suits my mood right now. It's too dark.

I sobbed again and did not speak again. A lot of tears were wasted and only a pillow was caught, which became my outlet for sadness, my hug for all the pain. The only one I sympathized with. I was able to sleep through my crying because I was tired. The next day I left the house early because I didn't want to be caught by Mama. I put the envelope with the money on the side of her pillow and looked at her. I hope, I hope I can at least hug her and talk to her sensibly.

I sighed and then turned around. I plan to go to Moalboal to find a place to live. The company I work for is nearby so I am there.

"One thousand pesos. That's just one person for one month. Free electricity and water. I only pay for a room," the landlady explained to me.

I was taken aback by what she said and thought that there might be such a rental. I'm here in May Tunga, Moalboal, and it's possible that this is true especially since a room is not that big. I nodded and paid one thousand pesos. She immediately accepted the money and took me to my room.

She explained to me the equipment and how to use it. I nodded while listening to her. I was satisfied because the room was beautiful and just right for me. She doesn't have a mattress but that's fine because I'm used to that.

"And hija..." I stopped walking and turned to the landlady. She smiled at me and folded her arms. "You can't have a boyfriend sleep here, okay?"

My cheeks warmed at what she said and nodded. When the landlady left I dropped the bag on the floor and sat on the bed.

I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at it for a while. I took a deep breath and turned off the phone. I decided to buy a new sim card so that Steven could no longer contact me. I don't want to talk to him anymore and will avoid me as much as I can..

"Tori, you have to go to work! Boss is wondering why you're not coming working. It's been a week and you haven't even noticed us, Mr. Oxford is also looking for you!" Minda said on the other line.

I sighed and stopped brushing.

"I'm taking care of something." I put my phone on my other ear and finished brushing my teeth. I went back to the room to get dressed.

"You should have written a leave letter! Boss might fire you because of your manners, he doesn't want that."

I suddenly regretted it. I didn't go in for a week because I didn't want to see Steven. I hit my forehead.

"Besides, I can't contact you either! It's a good thing you gave me your new number," Minda added.

After choosing clothes I sat on the bed and fixed the towel that was wrapped around me. "Fine, I'm going to work today."

"Alright, hurry up!" She said before hanging up.

I just bit my lip and decided to get dressed. I didn't have breakfast anymore and just rode a jeep to get to the company. I was a little nervous because Steven might be there.

As much as possible I want to avoid him. I don't want to increase my sin. I was very hurt by what he did to me. So I'll just avoid him... I'll let it go. Because... I have nothing against his wife even if he says he doesn't love her.

"Hey, good that you're here. Boss has a lot of schedules that you should arrange," Minda, my co-worker and friend, greeted me.

I nodded lazily and we walked into the elevator together. She snorted and looked at me. "And by the way, why are you absent for a week?" She asked while looking at me. "You lose some weight, ah!"

I bit my lower lip and looked away. I just didn't answer her question. When we got to the 25th floor, my chest immediately felt nervous. I may or may not meet Steven on this floor. The wound in my heart is still not healed and I don't know what I will do when we meet. I looked at Minda as we walked.

"Stev-Mr. Oxford is looking for me?" I stammered and immediately looked away.

I saw Minda's nod out of the corner of my eye so I breathed softly. "Yes, he's looking for you. I don't know why, and he was with his wife yesterday."

I turned to Minda and looked at her in shock. "Huh?"

Minda raised an eyebrow at me because of my reaction. I bit my lower lip and was hurt by what I heard.

Why is he looking for me when he is with his wife? Does he intend to introduce me to his wife? Will he hurt me more?

"Huh?" Minda's confused imitation of me. "Why are you so surprised by that? Don't you know?"

We're getting close to Boss's office so I'm all nervous. I know that Steven has a wife, Minda, and it's just hard to accept. The man who promised you only you, the man who promised you would never hurt you and the man who makes me happy is not mine. It's like I just snatched him without any knowledge.

"Mrs. Oxford is really beautiful! The two of them are really a good match," Minda said and put her hands together, thrilled.

My chest tightened and stopped walking. I suddenly became stiff and could not step. My lips trembled as I stared at the man who was going to meet us. I clenched my fist and avoided looking at him. I can feel his dark gaze on me. I bowed when he finally got close to us.

"Good Morning, Sir!" Minda happily greeted and elbowed me when she noticed that I didn't say anything.

"G-Good M-Morning, Sir," I stammered and bit my lower lip.

I can't be bothered anymore because I know that he is still looking at me. My hair stood up when he suddenly spoke.

"No need to greet me. This will be the last time I step foot in this building," he said coldly, as if he was listening to me.

My lips parted at what he said. It's like that's when I realized that we really can't be together. What we shared... the happy memories are just a bubble. My chest tightened and I didn't say a word. My knees are shaking from so much weakness.

It's like he's implying that we'll never see each other again, that he's completely severing the connection between the two of us. That's right, isn't it? That's what's best for both of us. That's what you want to hear, Qotorie.

I looked up when he was walking away from us. He was carrying the briefcase that I always despised before.

That's right, Qotorie. That should be the right thing to do. We should have moved away from each other and he should have gone back to his wife. And I... I know that the wound in my heart will also heal... even if it hurts a lot.