Regrets

KATARINA 

“I… “ 

I froze. 

"Hm," he shook his head with a sarcastic smile. "I can't believe that I was wrong about you.” He sneered. "You are just a cheap slut like the rest of them. How did you manage it? Tell me. How did you manage to snatch your mother's man?” His eyes suddenly became fiercer and he stepped forward. He stood in my face and started yelling. "How long has this been going on? Tell me. Tell me! I want to know!” 

Scared shitless, I took a step back and forgot how to use my voice. The tears kept flowing, but I wished they could stop because they were drowning me. I was choking on my sob. 

Since my voice failed, my actions should be enough, right? 

I slowly reached for the flare of my knee-length dress, and slowly lifted it, revealing my body. 

Kelvin paused and stepped back with a frown. 

"What are you doing?" I could see the bewilderment in his eyes. 

All I could do was sniff and quiver with my silent sob. 

He watched with wild eyes as I pulled the dress over my head and dropped it on the floor. After that, I unhooked my bra, setting my breasts free. 

“Katarina, what are you doing?" He gasped in a whisper. 

He never calls me that. I used to be his Kata, not Katarina.  

Before my bra hit the floor, I pulled my panty down my hips and used my right toe to drag it down my legs. 

Stark naked, I watched as Kevin's eyes wandered all over my body. His cheeks grew rosy, and his breathing caught in his throat. He swallowed hard and huffed. 

I stepped forward silently, then went on my knees. As I reached out to touch his belt, he finally woke up from his dazed state. He slapped my hands away and stepped away. 

“You are unbelievable!" 

His growl was deep-throated, foretelling his rage. 

I shivered even more. 

“I…, Kelvin, please." I managed to croak in a very hoarse voice that hurt my throat. “This is all I can do." 

My shoulders shook as an overwhelming sense of bitterness filled me up. 

How many times have I dreamt of this moment? The room was going to be decorated with flower petals. My bed would be a sea of red roses. 

I shook my head, dislodging the unattainable dreams. “Please, this is all I have left for you, Kelvin. Please take it." 

"... “

My words must have felt like a slap to his face. If not, why did his cheeks turn red?

Instead of the desires I always saw in his eyes whenever I got partially naked, all I saw was rage. 

Am I no longer sexy and alluring? Why is he not jumping at his only chance to claim me?

Confused, I watched as a mirage of emotions flickered in his eyes. 

“Get up!" He broke the silence with a whisper. 

Maybe he thought he wasn't loud enough. He cleared his throat and repeated himself. “Get the fuck up, Katarina!" 

He was definitely loud now. But it wasn't that I didn't hear him the first time. I was just stumped. Why should I get up when all he had to do was roll down his trousers and we could get to it? 

“Kelvin,..." 

“Don't!" He raised his index finger and shook it at me in a warning tone. “Whatever you want to say, I don't want to hear it. Just get up and leave!" 

“What? I should leave?" 

I expected a lot of things. His rejection wasn't one of them. 

I watched with my jaws on the carpet as he walked over, picked up my dress, and threw it in my face. 

“Put that on and get out. If you are not dressed within the next two minutes, I will make you leave without it." 

"KELVIN!” I snapped aloud. 

I don't know where it was coming from. My body or his aura, but the room suddenly felt cold. I was chilled to my marrow. 

He really wanted me to leave. He rejected me! 

It hurt, it hurt pretty badly. 

Knowing he meant his words, I reluctantly started wearing the dress with shaky hands. I clenched my jaws tight, to stop my teeth from chattering.

Once I was done, He walked to the door and held it open. 

“Don't forget those." He looked pointedly at the floor. 

My panty and bra were still there. 

Luckily, my dress was a floral dress with a free-flowing flare and big pockets. I picked my things up and tucked them in my pockets. 

With my head bowed, I slowly walked out of his house. 

Completely humiliated, I regretted it. 

When I left Kevin's apartment, it was just a few minutes past 9 in the evening. I shared an apartment with my best friend, and there was also my mother's house, but I could go to none. 

Maybe I should run away? But he would kill my Mum and I. 

Hopelessness engulfed me as I stood by the roadside, not knowing what to do. 

After a bit, I decided to walk it off. A long walk, they say, is good for a troubled mind. 

As I walked down the familiar street, I came upon a bar. A bar filled with memories of Kelvin and I. 

Since this was my last time ever coming to this inside of town, I decided to go in. Kelvina rejected my farewell, but the bar wouldn't. 

Stepping in the door, nostalgia hit me. We were still here last week… 

I froze at the entrance as all our actions played out in front of me like a set of monologues. We sat at the bar, drinking tequila. He had four shots more than me and won a hundred dollars. I saw us swirling around the dance floor with tango music in the background. My laughter when he made awkward faces while telling a daddy's joke, and the glare in his eyes when he confronted a pervert and protected me. There were too many scenes… 

“Excuse me!" Someone whispered behind me, snapping me back to my senses. 

I was in the way. 

I took a deep breath and stepped into the bar. Decisively, I walked up to the familiar bartender and gave him what I hoped was a decent smile. 

“Hey, you look terrible. A bad night!" He asked. 

“More like a bad year," I mumbled as I watched him mix my regular without asking. 

“That's a tough one." He replied. 

I nodded and climbed up the tall stand. 

“I want a set," I mumbled as he slid the shot over. 

I grabbed it, threw my head back, and dumped it at a go. 

“Argh!" I grimaced and shivered before slamming the shot glass on the counter. 

“Bangs?" The bartender raised his left brow with a lopsided, knowing smile. 

“Tight!" 

I gave him a thumbs up.