Chapter 1

Her tears broke out when she saw the accident in front of her own eyes. The incident where her boyfriend was hit by a car while trying to save her. They were arguing, and Clarice left Joel and ran without looking to her right or left.

Then ... the accident happened.

Clarice ran and lifted Joel's body in her lap. Blood was everywhere, including on her hands and clothes. Joel looked up at her with wide eyes, a body in pain, and a hand that reached up to wipe Clarice's cheek but failed.

"No, please! You have to hold on!" she said, crying with a sense of panic. "Someone call an ambulance!" Clarice shouted.

Many pedestrians surrounded her. Many of them were buzzing by themselves until the sound of the ambulance finally arrived. Joel's body was brought inside and Clarice went along to keep her boyfriend company.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong!" said Clarice. She held Joel's hand so tightly. "You have to hold on. Don't leave me!"

Nothing came out of Joel's lips. He tried to speak, but he couldn't get the words out. Clarice continued to cry in front of him, making him feel guilty in his heart. His woman was crying because of him, but he was also relieved that she could live because of him.

When they arrived at the hospital, Joel received prompt treatment. Clarice was not allowed in even though she rebelled against going in. She could only pause in front of the emergency room door, crying incessantly.

She wanted to contact Joel's family, but she was afraid that they would find out what had happened. Because she wasn't ready to be blamed by them at a time like this. But her mind was racing and she kept praying that Joel would be okay.

Clarice waited for a long time before the doctor treating Joel emerged. His face didn't look right and he had an apologetic expression on his face.

"We're sorry, Miss. We couldn't save him because too much blood came out, causing brain damage and bleeding as well as–"

Clarice was no longer listening to what the doctor was saying. She was busy focusing on the fact that the doctor couldn't save him, which meant that Joel ... died. She didn't want to hear any more explanations because to her it was useless.

She fell to the floor, so tight that her tears seemed to stop immediately. She had been crying for Joel just before his death. She didn't even make a sound, she just remained expressionless.

"Once again, we apologize, Miss. Our condolences. The body will begin to shift to the mortuary," was the last sentence Clarice heard.

This time Clarice finally cried. She cried silently. Her face looked flushed, not caring about the people who were watching her so pitifully. Clarice just needed an outlet to let out all her emotions over what had just happened to her.

She rose and entered before her boyfriend's body was moved. She stood still by his side and unfolded the cloth that covered his body up to his head. "So you decided to leave me, Joel?"

"I–" her throat tightened as she had to say something to him before the body was interred, "I'm sorry that I– you ... you're gone forever." 

Clarice cried, hugging him. She felt the tremendous heartache of losing Joel forever. She had no idea that the man she had been with for the past five years would leave forever without leaving any words.

"Why didn't you leave anything for me, stupid?!" she asked, with a sob that she could hardly manage normally. "Please, wake up if you're not going to leave me."

But in fact, for several minutes until the body was to be moved, Joel showed no movement at all.

***

It was a painful reality that Clarice had to face even though she had not accepted it at all. She, for some reason, chose to hide when Joel was buried by his family and closest relatives. She was afraid and ashamed that Joel's family would abuse her and she wasn't ready for that.

Clarice stood far away, near the trees with sunglasses covering her eyes and an appearance that no one would recognize. She was like a disguised enemy, afraid of being discovered.

Her tears were gone, but her grief was still tragic. She even still hoped that Joel would rise from his chest. It may sound ridiculous, but it was what she wished for. 

Nothing could ever replace her heartache. But she also didn't know how she should heal her wounds. Her eyes hurt from crying. But her heart was still aching from the unclosed wound.

"I don't think anything will make this wound heal, Joel," she said sadly.

"Who said that?"

Suddenly a male voice appeared behind her body. A tall man dressed in a black suit from head to toe. Clarice couldn't tell who he had been speaking to since he was wearing sunglasses as well.

"I'm talking to you, Miss," he said, then.

Clarice didn't turn around again. She kept her eyes on Joel's still-crowded grave. "I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone, including strangers," Clarice replied.

"I thought you needed comfort."

Clarice glanced over her glasses. She rolled her eyes and chose not to reply to the man she didn't know. 

After seeing that everyone had finally left Joel's grave, Clarice decided to move toward it. However, the stranger's hand, which was still in her path, prevented her from doing so.

"Don't," he said, commandingly.

"What the hell are you doing?"

The man gestured toward the grave Clarice was about to visit. Clarice turned around and let out her breath. Apparently, some of her family had come to lay flowers for Joel.

"You'd better visit the grave tomorrow or in a few days. It'll be dangerous for you, considering you're even hiding from them," the man said.

Clarice didn't know if she should follow the stranger's words or not, but for some reason, the man beside her seemed to know a lot about such things. 

Ashamed to admit it, Clarice remained silent, still watching Joel's grave which still had a few people since she thought it was deserted.

"If you don't mind, come with me for coffee," the man said, inviting her.

"I don't drink coffee."

"Then drink anything non-coffee, miss."

Clarice sighed heavily. She remembered Joel scolding her not to drink coffee because she had acid reflux. But now, as an outlet for her hurt, she wanted to break Joel's rule. 

There's nothing wrong with drinking coffee, right?

Clarice turned her body around. "Who are you?"

The man took off his glasses, revealing the greenish color of his eyeballs. "I'm Tristan Penn, CEO of iBook."