CHAPTER 1

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Everyone cheered and clapped their hands as he is slowly removing the veil. 

I look at my parents and they were smiling at me. But those smiles aren’t the meaning of joy. Hindi iyon ngiti na natutuwa sa anak nilang kinasal. They’re smiling because I married this man for the sake of our business.

Tumingin naman ako nang deretso sa lalaking pinakasalan ko ngayon. Hindi ko mabasa ang expression niya kung gusto niya rin ba ‘to or napilitan lang siya.

Yes, I have a crush on him. But I respect someone’s decision. Kahit pa na gustong-gusto ko siya ay hindi ko ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko na maikasal sa kanya.

“Kiss!” sigaw ng mga kaibigan namin na um-attend ng kasal.

Napayuko tuloy ako dahil nakakahiya ang request nila. Pero gulat akong napatitig kay Ivan nang iangat niya ang baba ko at unti-unting nilalapit ang mukha niya sa akin.

My heart is pounding, and I’m sure na namumula na ako ngayon. I don’t know how to react. 

Bigla tuloy akong napaatras nang magkadikit na ang ilong namin. Pero agad niyang sinalo ang bewang ko at mabilis akong hinalikan.

He kissed the side of my lips. 

Napaawang ang labi ko sa ginawa niya. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. I can feel my cheeks burning, and my heart is fluttering. 

Akala ko pa ay tapos na ‘yon. After niya akong halikan ay linapit pa niya ang mukha niya sa ‘kin para bumulong.

“Enjoy our first kiss now because you will suffer later.” Pagkatapos ay lumayo na siya at nginitian ako nang peke. 

Para akong binuhusan nang malamig na tubig sa sinabi niya. I don’t know what is he trying to say. Nakakanginig ng tuhod ang paraan ng boses niya sa ‘kin kaya alam kong threat ang sinabi niya.

Is he going to punish me? Tama kaya ang hinala ko na napilitan lang siya magpakasal sa ‘kin?

Muling naghiyawan ang mga kaibigan namin na sobrang kinilig sa paghalik ni Ivan sa ‘kin. 

Kung alam lang nila...

He didn’t kiss me out of love. He kissed me to threaten me.

Natapos na ang wedding ceremony at lahat kami ay naging excited para naman sa reception na mabilis lang din natapos dahil pagod na raw ang groom.

They teased us at the thought that we were excited to have our honeymoon. Little did they know, we will never do that in a contract marriage and one-sided love.

May sarili akong condo kaya doon muna ako dumeretso dahil hindi pa ako handa na tumira sa magiging bahay namin ni Ivan. I don’t know if doon siya uuwi pero hindi ko naman na inisip ‘yon dahil siguradong wala rin naman siyang pakialam.

Nagsimula na ako mag-impake ng mga damit at gamit nang bigla akong nalungkot. 

I will miss this room. Ito na yung naging safe place at resting place ko kaya medyo naiiyak ako na aalis na ako rito. This is also the reason why I want to stay my night here dahil mami-miss ko talaga ang lugar na ‘to. ‘Di bale, pupunta pa rin ako rito at mag-iiwan ng gamit in case na ma-fed up ako sa bahay.

Sobrang dami ng damit at gamit ko kaya natagalan ako sa pag-iimpake. Malapit na ako matapos kaya sa wakas ay makakapagpahinga na ako. 

Akmang isasara ko na ang maleta ko nang tumunog ang phone ko. Binuksan ko iyon at nakitang may new message from unknown number.

"1213 Lot 34, Asuncion St., Greenleaf Village, Brgy. Gintuan, Quezon City"

Napakunot ang noo ko sa text na na-receive ko. Sino kaya ‘to? Wala naman ako pinagbibigyan ng number maliban sa mga kaibigan ko at sa pamilya ko.

"Who is this?" I replied.

Bumalik ako sa pag-aayos ng gamit at sa wakas natapos din. Kinuha ko uli ang phone ko para tingnan kung nagreply na ba yung unknown number. And my heart skipped a beat to his reply.

"Your husband"

Napatakip ako ng bibig sa gulat, excitement, tuwa, at  kilig. I don’t know where he got my number but… nakakakilig basahin na asawa ko na siya.

Hindi ko na nagawang mag-reply dahil sa sobrang kilig. Sana lang maayos pa ako bukas kapag nakaharap ko na sya na kaming dalawa lang.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I just hope it will end up well.

"Ako na po ang mag-akyat nito ma'am." Kinuha ng isang katulong ang maleta ko at umakyat sa 2nd floor. 

Past 4pm na nang makarating ako rito sa magiging bahay namin ni Ivan. Kinuha ng isang katulong ang maleta ko at umakyat sa 2nd floor. Late na rin kasi ako nagising at nag-asikaso pa ako. Dagdag pa yung traffic at layo ng bahay na ‘to kaya hapon na ako nakarating. 

Umikot ako saglit sa bago kong titirhan or I say, sa bahay namin ng asawa ko. 

Malaki ang bahay na akala mo sampo ang titira. I don't think na okay 'to for us kasi dalawa lang naman kami ang titira rito kasama ang dalawang maids at isang driver na hindi rin naman stay in. This is too big for us, especially we don't have kids naman. 

May mini garden, pool, and very comfy na terrace. The house was almost made of glass kaya naman makikita mo ‘yung ganda ng tanawin sa labas. When it comes to the design, it's vintage and modernized style, which is one of my design choices. 

I have no idea who designed this house. But all in all, the house looks good and nice. 

Nakitang kong bumaba na ang maid na nagdala ng gamit ko sa taas at bigla akong natauhan regarding sa bedrooms. 

Magkasama ba kami matutulog? 

Hindi ko na lang muna inisip ‘yon. Siguro pagdating na lang ni Ivan ko poproblemahin ang bagay na ‘yon. 

Nginitian ko ang maid pagbaba niya at saka ako umakyat sa taas. The second floor has a spacious hallway. It looks like a hotel suite. 

Naglakad ako at napansin kong tatlo ang room. I opened the first one, but my things are not in there. And base sa design and gamit na nasa loob ng room, I think this room is for the guests. ‘Yung dalawang kwarto naman ay magkaharap lang. So binuksan ko muna ‘yung nasa right side, but it's locked. I don't know know why it’s locked. Siguro room ‘yon ni Ivan? I don’t know.

Pumunta na ako sa third room which is on the left side, and there I found my baggage. This room is really big and spacious compared sa guest room, and even my room sa house. 

I roam around to check if this is really my room. May mga gamit na pangbabae rito like a dresser with hair strengthener, blower, accessories, and some girly things. But I got confused about why there are 2 closets, 2 cabinets, and a men's hygiene kit sa bathroom?

Napasinghap tuloy ako nang ma-realize ko na kung kaninong room ‘to. This is obviously our room. At mawawalan na ata ako ng hininga kapag nalaman kong magkatabi kaming matutulog.

How could I sleep with my long-time crush? Nakakakilig, oo. Pero ang awkward talaga no’n for me.

Bumaba na uli ako at kumain ng meryenda na niluto ng maid. Wala pa kasi si Ivan magmula nang dumating ako. I asked the maid where he is pero di rin nila alam. May contact naman na ako sa kanya pero ayokong mag-text dahil baka ano pang isipin nya. Nilibang ko na lang ang sarili ko sa panunuod.

I watched 2 movies already. Hindi pa nga dapat ako titigil kung ‘di ako tinawag ni Nanay Lorna, one of the maids. 

Past 11 na and Ivan is still not home. I decided to go upstairs and get ready to sleep. After doing my night routine, I lie down on the bed and start to rest. But a loud beeping noise outside the house wakes me up and stops me to close my eyes to sleep. A weird silence took all over the place as if the house became a haunted house. So I decided to take a look.

I wear my red bathrobe and fuzzy slippers while my eyes are drowsy. I was about to open the door when I heard footsteps walking through the hallway playing a moaning sound. 

Obviously, there are two people kissing outside. But who could it be? Am I not informed that we will live with other people? Or is it the maid and the driver? But… they are quite old to do that thing in the hallway. 

Anyway, I reach the doorknob and finally open the door. And there I saw Ivan torridly kissing a woman wearing a low-cut fitted dress, enough to reveal her shape and cleavage. Their loud kisses and moans fill the empty silence of the hallway. 

Now, I don't know what to do. My mind is haywire while my heart is shattering. I feel a pang in my chest while watching them kissing in front of me. 

And finally, Ivan saw me staring at them.

"What are you doing here?" He stopped kissing her while looking at me intently. I can feel his irritation. But why? Did I interrupt them? I am not doing anything but watching them sucking each other's lips.

I sighed and slightly smiled at him, trying hard not to cry and sound okay, "I just want to get a glass of water. Excuse me," I answered quickly before my voice cracked. 

I hurriedly walk downstairs without looking at them and directly went to the fridge to get water and drink it.

I stare blankly at the wall as I feel my tears running down my face. I can't find a word to utter nor action to move. All I feel right now is pain. 

"What's wrong? I thought I'll sleep here tonight." I froze on my spot while listening to them. 

"Can't you see? Someone is here,” Ivan replied with an irritating voice. 

"And so? She's ruining our relationship, Ivan!"

"There's nothing between us, Stella. You may go now." 

I know I'm in pain but I almost laugh when I saw Stella's face after Ivan dumped him.

Padabog syang lumabas ng bahay at saka umuwi. Hinintay naman ni Ivan na makaalis ang sasakyan nya so I quickly ran upstairs to avoid him. But I guess my legs are too short to run that long or maybe he has long legs to walk that fast. 

"Anastasia." I felt a chilling sensation in his voice. Sobrang lamig ng boses na di ko alam anong emosyon meron siya ngayon. 

I tried to compose myself bago ako humarap sa kanya. Ayokong makita nyang affected na affected ako sa nakita ko. "Yes?"

"Why didn't you text me that you're here? You have my number." 

“Wala akong load, eh,” walang kwentang sagot ko at tumalikod sa kanya.

Hindi naman niya ako tinawag kaya pumasok na ako agad sa kwarto. At pagkasalampak ko sa kama ay saka tuloy-tuloy na bumuhos ang mga luha ko na kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

This is our first night as married couple but what I got was heartache. Isang malaking sampal na napilitan nga lang siyang ipakasal sa’kin at hindi niya ako mahal.

Is this what he was saying? That I’ll suffer after our marriage?