¿QUE ESTÁ PASSANDO CONMIGO?

Alana

Every kiss of Raúl on my neck makes me uncomfortable, I don't know how to explain what happens to me. I let myself be carried away by the firmness of his hands on my waist, his citrus scent invading my nose, my skin burning with each contact of his lips. I'm surrendered to sensations, my eyes closed, I don't see anything, I just feel it, and when I feel the hardness of his member against me, I realize that it's going too far, and I push it away. I look at Raúl scared, I realize that I was right with my suspicion, he has some interest in me. He looks at me regretfully, approaches me again, but I push him away once more.

— Raul… no ! I think you better go ..

— Lana, I can explain it to you! — Sorry , I don't...

— I already told you, I think you better go! — She said a little harshly.

He doesn't say anything else, lowers his head, looks disappointed, and goes off like a rocket. I stand there not understanding what is happening, or rather what happened, I don't understand why my body reacted that way to his kisses and touches. Why? Would I kiss him if he continued? On the other hand, maybe Raúl's interest can benefit me, after all, I need to do something, Dani has to note that I'm not his sister.

I need to talk to someone, I take my phone and call my friends, Babi's phone doesn't answer, Edu's calls, and nothing. I'm impatient, I walk around the room, my mind is restless, I can't stop thinking about Raúl and the sensations he caused me, and the possibilities of this approach. Until my phone rings, I go desperately towards the bed, I look at his viewfinder, and Edu's name appears, relief washes over me, now I can vent to someone about what happened.

— Hi, Lana! Did something happen? You still haven't gone out with the “wet panties”?

— I'm not going out anymore.

— What happened? — He asks me, and then I tell him everything that happened, Edu listened carefully, then asked me.

— And why don't you go out with him?

— You are crazy? He grabbed me...

— Wait a minute, he didn't grab you, he caressed you and you allowed...

— Edu!

— Edu, nothing! That's the truth, and you know how I feel about this boring story about you liking a guy who looks at you like a sister!

— You're not going to lecture me on Dani, and I only called you to vent, because I was confused!

— What happened to you, for reacting that way, in relation to Raúl? Because you like Dani, and blah, blah... Listen to one thing, you weren't indifferent to Raúl, because he's a hottie, he's wonderful, he treats you super well and apparently he's interested in you, yes! Did you understand?

Raúl

I can't get that scene out of my memory. Alana moaning my name and accepting my caresses. When I left his house, I headed towards my house, but on the way I got a call from Tomás, who convinced me to leave, to relax a little. I went to meet him, in one of the many bars in Madrid, but specifically in the Plaza Mayor area , an Irish pub, in a very narrow street that has no parking space, but I like this place , they serve a good beer, its facade is very cozy, in shades of black and gray, it had a huge sign stamping his name Irwin .

I enter the pub, look around me, look for my friend, who motions for me to approach him, who is at the counter. I walk between the tables, people pass me, I feel a little disappointed that none of them recognize me, I don't know if it was the fact that I was recently signed and made my debut on the team, but what I do know is that when I walk with Dani, people always recognize him, and say “aren't you the striker of Sport Club de Madrid?” or “Can I take a picture with you, Dani?” That still doesn't happen to me, and somehow I'd like to be better known.

— Hey dude? Didn't go out with Alana, why? — I am taken out of my thoughts when I approach Tomás.

—Something happened that she didn't like...

— What?

— I took the liberty of caressing her neck, or rather kissing her neck, and I think I got too carried away, she felt something...

— No, you didn't? Did you get hard with just a few kisses on her neck, man?

— It wasn't just a kiss on the neck, the weather really warmed up, she even moaned my name!

— What? So the weather was good, but did the balls hit the post?

— Damn it, Tomas! — What a silly joke... — He said that, and I ended up smiling, and changing the subject. — Man, I 'm impressed, nobody here recognizes me, do they support Real?

— Relax, man! Soon, people will get to know you, you are gaining your space on the team, more visibility and...

— Look at you, you've definitely been asked for your autograph, or asked to take a picture with you! Not with me, it seems that people don't even notice me, I spent years playing in Fútbol Club de Spaña, I arrived at Real Desportivo de Madrid and...

— Calm down, Raul ! I think you're a little stressed, your day wasn't easy today, you had the hard training, the discussion with Pedro and you were even put aside by Alana! Drink a beer to relax.

Tomás is right, my day was not easy at all. I'm frustrated, I thought I'd end the night kissing Alana, but I'm here at the bar of a pub, drinking beer to forget about my disappointment.

Alana

After the conversation I had with Edu about Raúl, and also about Dani, my friend's words echo in my mind. Life is a little unfair sometimes, there's an amazing guy interested in me, and what makes my heart beat faster, looks at me like a sister.

Would it be right to use Raúl's interest to my advantage?

Probably not, but what do I do? I can't go on like this, I have to do something...

But one night goes by while I burn my neurons thinking about what to do, and some questions keep repeating in my head, how interested is he? Why did I let him kiss my neck? I could push him away, but I allowed it, and this is making me uneasy, after all, I like Dani, he was the one who should have been kissing my neck at that moment, holding my waist tight, making me shiver, but again, I wonder, why?

Why does Raúl feel all this?

I'm so thoughtful, I don't even notice someone knocking on the door, in fact, they want to break the door down.

— Who is it?

— It's us, your wonderful, beautiful friends, I mean, “I'm beautiful”, Babi is almost cute...

I smile, I hear Babi's voice calling Edu an asshole, I get up, I open the door for them to invade my room, as the two immediately throw themselves on my bed.

— What are you doing here so early?

— Early, where? It's eleven o'clock in the morning, so it's lunchtime, and you're still in bed? I already know you're tired, because you spent the night with Raúl, you naughty!

— Stop joking around, Edu! Can't sleep late?

— Of course you can! Jokes aside, we came to call you to spend the rest of the day strolling. How about, shall we? — Babi asks very excitedly.

— Guys, I'm not in the mood to go out, I want to stay at home, I'm still a little tired from the trip...

— Stop telling stories without feeling, you're still like this because of what happened yesterday, you're feeling guilty for allowing the Greek God, or rather “Spanish” Raúl, to make you shudder...

— Friend... Relax! Raúl is beautiful, I don't think anyone is indifferent to him...

— I know, but I like the… — I can't complete the sentence, I'm interrupted by Edu who is indignant .

— Alana, enough of this story!

— But,...

— No, but! You don't like Dani, that's all in your head. You've gotten used to it, and it confuses things. Since when did you have any thoughts or erotic dreams about Dani ?

— I think… I don't know, I...

— See, you don't even know! — I believe you never masturbated thinking about him, I also think you never thought of him that way...

— Edu... I think you're exaggerating, Lana likes Dani and...

— Oh, you too Babi? — Stop feeding this misconception Lana has about what it's really like to like someone!

I'm starting to get annoyed with Edu, although he's partly right, I've never thought of Dani in an erotic way, or even touched me intimately, thinking about him.

— So, in your incredible opinion, I never really liked Dani?— What do I really feel for him?

— Lana, you projected, idealized something, maybe you transferred some affective need, in this case, the lack you felt for your father to Dani , and confused all that!

— I do not agree! I like him...

— But you have no desire for him!

— Yes, i feel it!

— Yeah... So let's compare! Do you remember that day in your old room, Dani took a longer kiss on your cheek and stroked your hair, you believed he was going to kiss you, remember?

— I remember, so what?

— Now, compare it with what happened yesterday, and tell me what was the moment that made you horny , to the point where you were afraid of your body's reactions?

This is a difficult comparison, they were completely different moments in my life. That moment with Dani was wonderful, but Raúl left me confused, I shouldn't feel this way, I don't want to admit it to my friends, but I don't know what to do when I meet him again. I don't know what's happening to me!

— These are different moments and sensations, but I've been thinking about something that seems kind of nonsensical, and I want your opinion!

— Speech! — Edu looks at me interested.

— How did I come to the conclusion that Raúl has feelings for me, and what if I used that to my advantage?

— What do you mean, Lana? asks Babi.

— If I invested in something with Raúl, to make Dani jealous?

— WHAT? — both shout in unison, and Edu continues. — You're not crazy about doing this, are you?

— It's not that I need to do something...

— It's okay, but you don't have the right to include a person who has nothing to do with it, because you think you like Dani, and Raúl likes you, and if that happens, and in the end he finds out the In fact, it won't be any good! — Edu says.

— Playing with other people's feelings isn't cool, Lana! Forget this story, Dani is in love and dating, and you will only cause suffering and problems for everyone if you take this further... — Babi advises me.

— Guys, I can't go on like this, I returned to Madrid with the intention of conquering Dani, and...

— But is it worth risking the feeling of brotherhood he has for you, and using Raúl for that?