CHAPTER FIVE

I snapped my head up.

Had I heard right?

Matt came in before I could confirm if he actually remembered me or not. He continued to list of requirements and rules for us without a mention of the previous incident and I forgot about it.

If he was going to pretend he didn’t remember me, then I didn’t either. Why I felt disappointed, I couldn’t fathom.

“...like one of those cool teachers.”

“Hmm?” I had zoned out as Matt continued to drone off. Matt was cute in every sense. He looked like he played football in high school and was the probably the star player. I had a thing for shaggy blonde haired boys with baby blue eyes.

“I said Jared is quite young. He’s so cool.” So guys also worshipped the ground where he walked. I rolled my eyes and snorted.

“You don’t think so.” He said as a matter-of-fact.

“I mean, I think it’s amazing that he’s got degrees so young. I just don’t see the hype.” He looked at me disbelievingly.

“What? He’s overrated.” I lied through my teeth.

“Yeah right.”

We continued to walk towards the hostel when we parted ways.

“You stay on campus?” He raised a sharp eyebrow at me.

“Sure, why? You don’t?”

“Hell no. You just seem like the kind of girl who’s got it all figured out, has her own space, you know…” He waved his hands in the air to buttress his point. Oh, how wrong he was

I gave a short laugh but I couldn’t help the blush that rose to my cheeks. I was such a compliment virgin.

Okay, so all through high-school, I was bullied for having crazy ginger hair and a horrible fashion sense by the girls in my school. It was weird to even think about. Then the accident happened and I somehow came back with the body of a ‘woman’.

Puberty had taken effect while I was in a 2 year coma and my bullies had graduated. Sad and relieving at the same time. I was now bullied for entirely different reasons. Looking ‘old enough to be a mother’ and some other things.

The point being I had a body to die for, according to Becka. It’d come at a price certainly and most of the time, I had that body hidden away in huge clothes.

Call it whatever you want but men are drawn to what they see. If they’re not seeing anything, they most likely won’t approach you. Ergo why I felt what Matt had said was a compliment that required my face heating up.

“Nah. I’m not.” I smiled at him and adjusted my tote bag. He looked at me for a couple more seconds, trying to figure me out but decided to leave things be.

“Well, this is where I bid you goodnight. We’ll see in the next class.” I nodded and faced the direction of my hostel.

Ashley wasn’t home when I returned so, I had the place to myself for a while. I was working on a few assignments when Becka’s call came in.

“maldito idiota!” I moved my phone away from my ear and looked at the caller ID to be sure I was speaking to the right person.

“Becka?” The person had definitely sounded like her though I was unsure.

“Sorry. Juan was getting on my nerves.”

“Since when do you speak Spanish? And who’s Juan?” I closed my note and propped myself up on my pillow.

“I didn’t tell you about Juan?” I rolled my eyes at her. She certainly had not.

“He’s some guy I met at some exhibition.” So he was a dealer. Becka was an art student, one of the most talented people I knew and she hated exhibitions with passion. This was why I knew the guy had been a dealer. She’d told me something about these guys showing up at parties because art shows were much more fun high.

“Right. What’d he deal you this time?” Me and my loud mouth. Drugs were a touchy subject for her. Almost as touchy as her parents.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I closed my eyes in disappointment at myself as I cringed.

“I’m sorry. I just.. I’m exhausted.” I’d barely resumed school and I was already feeling very overwhelmed. I wasn’t used to being around hundreds of people on a daily and then going back to a room with no familiar faces. I was finding it hard to adjust to the new life.

“What’s up?” Becka’s mood swings always gave me whiplash.

“Nothing. I’m just trying to get used to everything.” I opened my laptop for notes I’d saved from class.

“Oh, I get it. Fresher fever. You’ll get over it. Just give it time.” I appreciated her concern but I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Eres un idiota.” Her voice sounded far away as she cursed at Juan. I laughed hysterically

“So what? Juan giving you Spanish lessons?” I giggled. Her Spanish had sounded weird.

“Actually and more.” My face wrinkled in disgust but I decided to pass up a comment on that.

“How come it’s only swear words you’ve learnt so far?” To be honest, swear words were the first and easiest things people learned in another language.

The laptop I’d opened stayed that way for the longest while before hibernating and Becka and I continued to talk about everything and nothing at the same time.

At least she was a familiar face and voice.

***

“Those scars are the evidence of a killer.”

“An eye for an eye.”

“You deserve it.”

“Yeah, that’s her.”

What the hell was going on? As I walked around the campus, people kept giving me weird and hateful looks. Did they think I couldn’t hear them?

I ran into the first room I could find and cowered in a corner as people continued to hurl hurtful words at me from the door. Those words felt like knives digging into my skin, reminding me that my past, no matter how far back would always catch up to me and hunt me.

All of a sudden, the voices stopped, like they had all left at the same time. I took a deep drag of air, filling my suffocated lungs. The crawling in my skin had disappeared and I was going to go back to my hostel to reset for the rest of the day but I couldn’t move.

It was like there was a force stopping me from shifting my legs in my crouched position. A hard grip clamped down on my neck, constricting the air in my lungs.

“Did you forget what happened?”

“Did you think I would forget?”

I tried to scratch my fingers along the arms of what held my neck but met air.

“Ple...ase” I barely managed to choke out. I could feel my eyes closing, my nerves pressing against my temple.

“I’-m so-r-r-y.” Black dots stained my vision and the pressure in my head peaked until I didn’t feel anything, my body sagging against the door, lifeless.

I jerked awake with a start. My clothes were stained and soaked through with sweat. It was dark out. I looked around the room and met Ashley’s eyes.

There was a startled expression in her eyes. One that I knew all too well. Fear and pity.

I didn’t need either from her. Maybe she could fear me but I didn’t need her pity. I’d had enough to last me a lifetime.

I rubbed my hands over my eyes with a realisation dawning on me.

My nightmares were back.