CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"You want more?" He left her neck and looked her in the eyes. She was a complete mess. Her hair was everywhere, face flushed, her clothes were barely sitting on her right anymore. "No stop!" She quickly spat out this time pushing him away for real. She saw his look mixed with confusion, shock and frustration. Immediately she unhooked her legs from his waist and continued to breathe deeply still sitting on the bench trying to come down from the high he had brought her too again with just a few flirtatious heated kisses.

"We can't do this!" She exclaimed, sliding off the bench. "Oh I think we can" Giovanni challenged back, "in fact I think you're pretending you don't want to but your body tells me differently Rosalia". She shook her head forcing herself by him needing to get away. She walked over to the living area while he remained near the coffee machine in the kitchen. "Don't even think about kicking me out Rosalia, not until you tell me what's going on at least", he raised his voice a fraction trying to get through to her. "I'm not like the whores you take to business meetings Gio!"

"Excuse me?" He began walking towards her, she had really emphasised the words 'business meetings'. "What do you mean by that?"

"Do you think I'm stupid? I know who you are, I read the papers I'm not dense"

"Ahhh, so that's what this is about... You're judging me from what you've read in the papers. Listen here little girl, I could've judged you too. Let's not forget I bailed you out of jail, you're probably no better than I am but unlike you Rosalia, I didn't judge you based on where I met you!" He was now pointing his finger practically in her face. They had gone from a completely lustful situation, to screaming at one another.

"Little girl!" She shrieked back. "Well why don't you stop trying to fück little girls and move onto someone else?" He grabbed her arm angrily pulling her towards him when she tried to walk away. "Hey" he yelled, jolting her a little more violently than he should have. "I don't want to move on to someone else Rosalia! I want you and you want me, I know you do. For fück sake it's just sex! We're both adults here!" She yanked her arm harshly to get away from his grip. "I don't have random sex! Especially not with criminals!" He shook his head and raised an eyebrow, "you're a real piece of work Rosalia. You're the one who told me you wanted me, I'm such a bad guy huh? I could have fücked you when you were drugged up, lord knows you wanted it, it came out of your own mouth". Rosalia now had her hands in her hair in frustration. Why were they even talking about this? "You may know my last name, Rosalia, but you don't know me"

"Ughh!" Rosalia screamed in frustration. "Just shut up!" She yelled, shocking him a little from her outburst. This was the Sicilian he was waiting to unleash. "I was fücking attacked ok!"

"Huh?" Giovanni stopped suddenly confused, Rosalia was now pacing back and forth. She was beginning to look like a crazy person, hands in hair, pacing and her eyes to the ground. She refused to look at him until she got the sentence out properly. "I haven't had sex or any kind of physical contact since the attack. So just fück off and move onto someone else please!"

"What are you talking about, attacked?" He tried to move closer but she stepped away in defence and Giovanni immediately stopped. She did not want to be touched right now, he could tell. "Did someone hit you or something?" His voice was now quieter in an attempt to calm her down. To his surprise she walked away from him and headed to her bedroom. He could hear her rummaging around for something. He heard a draw close and then she was back with a piece of paper in hand, she slammed it down on the coffee table then backed away as if the paper would self-destruct. "I can't say it" she admitted shamefully as Giovanni kept his gaze on her while picking up a hospital report in front of him. It was dated back two years ago and as he read through the injuries his eyes stopped at 'rough not consented anal penetration'. When his eyes rose from the paper and back up at her, Rosalia had a strange look on her face, like she was disgusted but she did not know who or what at. "Rosalia I-"

"And there it fücking is" she cut him off immediately, "that look. The look of sorrow and pity. Like I'm some broken, dirty-"

"Stop" now he cut her off. "Don't you dare continue that sentence"

"This isn't something I wanted to share with you, or anyone for that matter! But you keep coming at me like you want to fück me but I can't do that, do you understand now?" He nodded "all of this" she waved her hands between them, "it has to stop!"

"Because someone raped you?" He got straight to the point stopping her right in her tracks. "Gio I just can't do this. I don't know how to do this I'm not looking for a relationship or sex, I'm not looking for anything"

"I'm not looking for a relationship either, but everyone is either looking for one or the other. You're still human Rosalia surely you must have... Needs?" She shook her head and buried her face in her hands, embarrassed and frustrated. "Look, we barely even know each other and trust me when I say I've let you get further with me than anyone else has since... you know... I just can't do anymore than that and I know you need and want more"

"Of course I want more," Giovanni replied without hesitation. "There's a reason you've let me get this far with you Rosalia. Why not just see if eventually you'd like to do more with me? Why are you trying to shut it down already without giving this a chance?" She sighed frustratedly. This was not where she thought the night was heading, not even close. "You're looking for casual sex, I'm not that girl". Giovanni walked towards her cautiously, he took her hand gently and made her walk with him to the couch where he sat down with her. "Can I ask you something?" He asked, suddenly feeling the need for permission. She nodded. "Before this guy attacked you, had you ever..." She took in a deep breath, exhaled slowly and shook her head. "So you haven't had proper sex before, just what was written in that report"

"Giovanni, I can't talk about this anymore. I've told you more than you should know. I thought by telling you it would make you go away"

"I'm not going away. I'm not going to lie to you Rosalia, I've told you straight up. I'm not looking for love or relationships - the work I do is dangerous and I can't drag people into it. What I'm looking for is purely physical and right off the bat I know that's something I want with you. You're not looking for a relationship either so here's what I propose. How about you give me a chance to at least make you feel comfortable with me?" She raised an eyebrow curiously, "what do you mean?"

"Let me see you every now and then, take you out, you know? Start with the basics. Then if you trust me enough to start something physical we'll give that a go. If you don't then no harm done. At least we've enjoyed each other's company right?" Rosalia sat silently. She was not sure about any of this. Never in her life has a conversation like this come up. How would she even explain this to Emilia?

Yet as crazy as it sounded she felt like it was exactly what she needed to get past her fear of being touched. She had tried in the past getting absolutely blind drunk and making out with guys. Whenever it would get any further though she would break down into a panic attack and Emilia would be around to pick up the pieces.

Maybe this would be her chance to have everything out in the open with Giovanni. Him being fully aware of her past experience may put her at ease in knowing she would not have to explain why every time. Maybe he could give her the confidence to eventually date and trust someone again?

"If we do this Gio, I don't want to know about your other girls ok? I obviously don't expect you to sit around waiting for me to... you know. I just ask that you keep it away from me, I don't need to know and I don't want to know. It won't help me trust you" Giovanni nodded. He knew he was in a winning situation really. He could see whomever he wanted and there was the possibility that he would eventually have Rosalia too. An innocent, respectable Italian girl.