Chapter 3

YSABELLE

‘WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE?’

Those words crushed my heart and soul. It was beyond painful. It was as if a big car passed over my whole body again and again due to the extreme pain I was feeling. But I didn't say anything and tried to smile.

I forced myself to stand even though my whole body was going limp from his painful words.

Was that what Ronan really wished for me? I don't know anymore. I wanted to think that he was just tired from work, and then I added to his headache.

He only stared at me. Rage was evident through his eyes until he looked away himself.

I immediately left the kitchen until I reached the gate, walking under the full moon alone but not knowing where I was really going.

I wanted to cry from the pain inside, but no tears came out of my eyes. As if they are also scared to be noticed by anyone and think I'm too pitiful by crying alone while bracing for the pain.

And this is the painful cry of all. I can not express the pain I'm feeling through tears. By the end, I'm crying inside, shattered, and broken. By holding it in my heart, it was so damn heavy to feel, yet I don't know how to let the heaviness go.

I sat on the swing while gazing at the fewer children playing around. But then, I caught a glance of a woman and man who just arrived, carrying a child in a man's arms.

They look happy, and I believe they are in a happy marriage.

I suddenly felt envious.

I thought after our first night… he would change and treat me nicer.

But why do I feel that he didn't even remember that he claimed me that night?

Was giving in to his needs a huge mistake?

My breath trembles as I remember his raging voice echoed in every corner of the room earlier.

He wished me to die so that I could finally leave him alone. But I swore that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

Tears slowly fell from my eyes. These painful tears have been killing me inside all those years I've been with him.

I'm not crying because of those painful words, but because for every hurtful word that Ronan said, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. Because I knew from the start, it was only a one-sided love.

This marriage was forced.

We did not tie the knot because we wished to be with each other. 

Ronan’s father was the only reason why we were married. My father served his family with loyalty. When our father lost their life because of the car accident, it was in his father's will to marry me and he would inherit all the assets that his father had left. 

I gave up college and my dream to become a housewife. It’s my mother-in-law’s wish to make me focus on taking care of Ronan. Well, being the wife of Ronan is one of my dreams too. But I didn't expect it would turn out like this.

This one-sided feeling was killing me inside.

***

Days have passed, and Ronan continued giving me a cold treatment. Well, it's always been like that. He's always been cold to me throughout our marriage.

But today is no different day. It's his birthday and tomorrow is mine. Yes, We almost have the same birthday, but I'm still glad that we are only a second apart.

Last year, he was in Paris for a business meeting. I was hoping he would celebrate his special day with me.

I spent my whole day helping the servants in cleaning the house and garden. Before dinner came, I made sure to grocery and cook Ronan's favorite food for dinner.

I was about to leave the grocery mall when I spotted a cake shop.

How can I forget the cake?

I was torn between chocolate and strawberry cake. I'm allergic to strawberries, but it's Ronan’s favorite. In the end, I bought the strawberry cake.

I became busy preparing our dinner and cooking my husband's favorite foods.

After cooking, I prepared the table as if we were in an expensive restaurant. It was so beautiful and elegant to look at. The vibe feels like I'm on a date.

Ronan and I never dated. We never hang out together outside the house. But it didn't matter to me.

I waited for Ronan to come home but it was almost 10 pm. I keep glancing at my wristwatch and at the gate while waiting for him at the front door.

I'm hesitant to call him because I never did before. He never likes me calling him and asking where he is. He will get mad if I ever do that. I don't want him to be mad at me every night.

What if something bad happened to him?

I immediately brushed off those thoughts in my head. I shouldn't be thinking like that.

My phone suddenly went off. Damn, I forgot to charge it. I rushed upstairs to look for my charger but I couldn't find it. Instead, I look for Ronan's charger in his room.

I know he will be mad that I touched his stuff, but I will leave when he arrives.

However, as soon as I opened the cabinet, I saw the familiar unopened gifts.

He didn't even touch it.

Those were my gifts from last year. My gifts for our wedding anniversary, his birthday, Christmas, and New Year. I bought those gifts, but Ronan didn't make any effort to open any of them.

A pain flashed through my chest, so I immediately closed the cabinet. I was about to leave the room because I couldn't find any charger when something caught my attention. I came to the edge of the bed and took it.

“Fortieth Company Anniversary?”

It's an invitation card.

Ronan was invited to an exclusive party, and it seems he needed this invitation card to get in.

Even though Ronan was known for being the most powerful in the business industry, few people knew I was his wife. Mother-in-law doesn't want to publish my face all over the world, that I'm Belle Volkov, Ronan’s wife, just because of my background.

I shoved those sad thoughts in my head and immediately dressed up. As I arrived at the venue, I saw him standing near the door with a blond woman. She's clinging to his arm like a lover of Ronan wearing a smile on both faces.

Ronan is smiling. He looks happy while exchanging words with the woman.

I couldn't remember the last time I saw him smiling like that.

A familiar pain surrounded my heart again as I continued staring at them both, looking so loved by each other. It's painful to look at them, but I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

Is she Candice?

When Ronan met my eyes, I turned around and was about to leave. I hailed a cab but someone suddenly held my arm.