BANTER.

"And how is that your business? Are you my

mother?" I shot back in extreme awe and fuming.

"Nope! But seriously someone needs to make you

see." Now she calls me blind .. incredible!

"What was going on with her? Is she hitting menopause? Or is she a witch assigned to me from their coven to make my life more miserable than it already is?" runs through my head as I looked at her wide eyes. "Wonders shall never end! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! I added. Truly when a novice at swimming falls into the sea all the less fishes will take a nip at you. Imagine a mere employee talking disrespectfully to me in such a disgraceful manner. I could never blame her? No! I can't, but blame myself. After all those countless meet ups, if only I was in a stable relationship by now? She wouldn't have the effrontery to accost me like this. However, I am just a victim of circumstances. One which I don't know how it began nor how to stop it! How I wish I knew what to do to break this circular chain of a bondage.

"I Couldn't be your mom cause you'd be married off by now. " she replied capably as if she could match up to my mother in any way. Delusional moron! I thought rolling my eyes.However, my mother was not her mate to be spoken of lightly. She could pick on me all she wanted for my coats was as hardened as the back of a tortoise. If after all the bullying I have had to endure in college for my distinctive eyes features and my lack of ability of holding onto a date for more than a few hours didn't break me? Kisha couldn't. But my mom? I will not allow be disregarded! and i had to draw boundaries. Crystal clear ones

"Hey! hey! hey! Hold it right there. Don't you dare insinuate nothing about my mother!" I sternly warned. "Besides, are you married yourself?" I counter back.

"At least I have a boyfriend. " she robbed it in my face.

"See the pot calling the kettle black! Do you really want us to go there? "I asked ready to remind her she has numerous bedmates not a serious partner. which I would say was indisputably the same boat with me. The only variation was I didn't have random men jumping in and out of my innermost chambers, which was nothing I was looking for. Simply put! she also didn't have a stable man just as myself. Equation solved. But I guess her brains were being joggled back home by itself because she came calmly at me now as should a sensible person.

"See, I am just a concerned friend who wants you to be happy, you know? " Better! flashed boldly before my eyes contentedly. She was Now talking like a reasonable person. However, the fact remained the same; it was not her headache to take meds for! Absolutely not! Solely mine. How to sound this deep into her ears to her comprehension was the basic hurdle for me now! bloody alligator!

"Who told you I wasn't happy? Ha! Ha! Ha!" I laughed hysterically. "See ? I am so So! happy!" Lord help me! for I might get physical with this intruding nuisance who knows not her limits! And continues poking at my delicate spot. Having to be constricted to living under a vow is nothing to be happy about."I cried within.

"All the bad experiences you had seems to have robbed off on you negatively, blocking your sight from spotting a perfect boyfriend material should you see one right in front of you, just as that one. But you should know life does not cease there!'He! He! He! Madam motivational speaker. I cracked up within.' There are pitfalls but you don't duel on them. you must certainly go on and what are good friends for? If not to help in situations such as these. "she finished her motivational spiel backed with volunteering exposing some whites in fake concern with a wink.

"This is unbelievable! Having a boyfriend is not an achievement, moreover outer looks does not matter to me dummy! And I don't live in the past neither do I duel on it. Never the less, what kind of texture of material are we talking of here? If I may..." A smirk captured my feature in my jest at her. If I did take all her shit with hard feelings? I am likely to unleash a punch in her face. Noteworthy is the fact that I am not violent so I resorted to paying her in her own currency 'mockery'. "Is it cotton, Nylon, wool or?" I retorted pausing to give her a mocking stare.

"It is chiffon!" Kisha shot back at me with a harsh tone sharply glaring daggers shaking her head.

"Then how many yards would he be then?" I chirped jovially now having so much fun watching her with the corner of my eyes teasingly satisfied at her reaction. If looks could kill? I'd be a gone soul.lols! Oh! The immense widespread of defeat displayed across her screen is priceless.

"Ten thousand! Fear-ro! like you! I now see why you remain single." She snapped back. Am sure she accepted I was not accepting trolling from her with that action. I might as well forget about the restless maligning spirit in the form of Kisha. she was out of verbal punch to jostle my fine composure any further. she definitely knows there is no word like 'FEAR' in my dictionary. Sour loser!

" It is my personal choice, if you haven't realized that yet." I interjected.

"Yeah! I know! bla! bla!" she came calmly again at me like all those entrepreneurs, unenthusiastically trying so hard to impress an obstinate client into investing in an inanimate venture as the only way to make their stagnated funds back through commissions, rolling her eyes annoyingly. "Don't begin a sermon nor play with this aspect of your life. I mean no disrespect okay! nor to invade on your privacy." 'Look who is talking? Miss goodies goodie two shoes counselor.' She coerced suspiciously as if she hadn't already done that to start with. 'Girl you already in my chambers looking at me in my fucking nude literally.' I said within.

"It harms no one if you don't have one... but!"

"But what?" I asked with arms folded beneath my breasts awaiting her correspondence.

" You! having one would be complimenting; especially a chute .."she voiced playing around with elongated lips in emphasis. "To die for one, in the person of that stature .. there! at your age! for a change! in this century. "she hammered down breath after breath carefully to prove her point to my displeasure.

"Oh! please!" am almost shouting now for I have had enough already.

"No need for pleasing here! and tone down; customer!" She whispers "Go please him." she counteracted savagely, letting her head drop in the guys direction like a zombie. If wishes did come true instantly she'd be crumbled in my hands like a piece of paper and I'd take pleasure in the crackling of her bones as I put her in a disorientated state. Besides, how can she switch from a cooing sweet mother to a bitch in just a blink? That must be a devilish innate talent. Pretentious witch.

"Thanks very much unrelated diligent mother! "I appreciated her in mock gratitude. "For playing the perfect match maker and trying to hook me up with a God giving suitor unfortunately, no thanks! I am not interested. As a matter of sincerity, you can have him to yourself since he is irresistible to you. sincerely, from the depth of my fragile overly bruised heart; kindly keep him for yourself. You have my heart felt blessings. "her offer was rejected by me on the spot with the delusion it was ended there but no! she was just warming up. god damn it!

"Let's see... ee. " kish! abbreviation from Kisha! as I called her sometimes,more times than I did her full name replied by gesture. First she counted a few fingers then responds dramatically. "Oh! no dear! child, I am so sorry to disappoint you, you're going to have to keep this one. Because I have way more than enough to snatch the only light at the end of your stinky blurry tunnel. pathetic blind bat! Wake up sluggish bitch! "she reciprocated the ex mockery dealt her by me with a little sprinkle of abuse.

"Would you stop it?! I barked at her for it was getting out of hand. She was going to far! before I became physical with her, which I haven't been with anybody for a very long time; since my parents made me take an oath never to again! after the last incident.The last time I got to that peek? A life was almost lost. It was also the day I became aware of my insane strength. Imagine leaving a light slap on someone's stupid face for intruding only for them to end up across the room with multiple fractures and in partial coma. Yeah! that's what happened. I have been leaving in walks on egg shells. I have had to learn how to soak extreme divergent unpleasant view's as well as behaviors towards me without reacting over the years and thanks to this, the silly thing I call Kish! is still in one piece. if not? She should be missing some teeth in the hallow she is unable to keep sealed.

"No I will not! And stop with the attitude!" She said flatly.

"Like seriously? Me? Atti .. what? tude? please take your leprous hands off of my case! before you infect someone.

"Not until you do the needful in efforts Keana. You might as well get infected." She defended back with a smug look. she was so hooked on my problem like a stepmother who had lots to gain should I be with someone. Gosh!

"Oh! God! Oh! God! Oh! God! Who sent me this tormentor on earth? 'i had thought i needed to die first of all, second go to hell for not being able to make heaven; which I surely would make though! before receiving torments. How come my own story is different? I guess I had the wrong info. Cliché!' It is not by force! first and foremost! Moreover, it is my life! Only I get to decide when to initiate a relationship again. If I ever even want to! that is." I said getting lost for a while there in my head worsening my already unbearable case with my assailant.

"Never say never! Stop kidding yourself. It is as of now, on ward mandatory for you to find a companion with my help." insisted the trouble maker.

"No! it is not! I don't need anybody's help." I refuted . She is incorrigible! I admitted within.

"Yes! it is!"

"No! it is not!"

"Yes! it is! As a matter of facts and utmost urgency ... we the people around you!"

"You and who? Which people specifically?" I questioned, for I was now curious. Is there anybody from my family I am unaware of giving her my complaints? I don't remember my mom or Dad ever complaining. Grandma! oh! sweet grannie I doubt if she has the heart to treat me disdainfully like this. The loose Cannon didn't mind me but went ahead to make her intensions known.

"With me as the prefect now of the association of 'GET KEANA HITCHED NOW! I will do all in my power to uphold this. I promise to give my very best! So help me God." She pledged.

No!No!No! this is not happening. "Who put you on my case? The manner in which you carrying this issue personally is preposterous and suspicious." I pointed out to her. When she gets like this? it becomes a do or die affair. No retreat! no surrender! God have mercy on my poor tormented soul! Am done for. What have I ever done to merit this tortuous punishment.