CHAPTER ONE: CATCHING MY CHEATING FIANCÉ

“Arghh, baby, pound me good—better than Leah would ever get,” a voice moaned loudly.

My steps faltered at the bedroom door.

My hands on the knob froze as my lungs closed up, refusing to pull in air.

There—on the bed—was Xavier.

My fiancé.

My fiance of seventeen good years. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at my fate.

His sweaty body was pressed against my step-sister—Natasha, their limbs entangled as he pounded into her shamelessly.

The sound of her moans bouncing off the thin walls was like daggers piercing directly into my fragile heart.

My chest tightened, my hands trembling on the door knob.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.

I wanted to look away, to pretend that this wasn’t happening.

But I couldn’t pretend like I did not just catch my fiance cheating on me with my own sister.

Instead my pathetic eyes remained fixed on them.

How could they do this to me?

How could he do this to me?

Three years ago, my father’s mistakes left the Harnes Group drowning in debts.

Since then, I’d been nothing more than a pawn to Xavier and my step-mother.

Xavier was supposed to be my fiancée—the heir to the wealthy Kingsley family, the man who carried our family’s name back into the spotlight.

My step-mother paraded me around as his perfect little fiance, while he treated me as trash.

And I told myself it was worth it, after all, it kept my mother’s cancer treatments going.

But now…seeing him with Natasha, tangled up like lovers, it broke everything in me.

After everything I had to sacrifice for this relationship, after all the years I gave him, yet he betrayed me like this?

“I love you Natasha. Your body is perfect,” Xavier groaned against her neck.

His voice sounded so gentle, making me wonder whether I had been delusional about his love for me all these years.

I couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken to me like that, at least not in months, or years.

The air smelled of sex and sweat, and my stomach churned in nausea at it.

Natasha’s head rolled back in ecstasy, “Oh Xavier…my stupid sister would die if she knew I was in your bed every night.

Tell me baby, do you love her more than me?” She asked, her voice sounded smug as she spat her last words.

Tears blurred my vision, and I waited—pathetically, and desperately for his answer.

My delusional mind refused to believe what my eyes were seeing, as what remained of my heart fluttered with hope that maybe, just maybe…

“Never mention a thing like her in my presence again,” he spat, his tone laced with so much hate, and I felt all the blood in my body immediately going frozen.

“How could I ever love a thing like her?

She’s completely, and utterly pathetic.

Always crying and pleading for help for her sick mother like a beggar.

She disgusts me so badly. And I cannot wait to finally get rid of her," Xavier hissed venomously as Natasha’s laughter rang out at his words. It felt like salt, rubbing on my open wounds.

My lips trembled as his words echoed endlessly in my head ‘She disgusts me so badly. And I cannot wait to finally get rid of her.’

The hollow buzzing filled my skull, and I could not hear what else they were saying.

I could not breathe, I found it hard to take in air.

My mind could barely form words, and my eyes could barely make out shapes as the endless tears which flowed out blinded me.

All I knew was that if I did not run, I would collapse right there, or worse, do something like barging into the room right there and then.

I could not afford to do that, my mother’s life hung on ensuring that I would marry Xavier no matter what happened.

So I did the only thing I could think of—run.

I stumbled to the nearest trash in his apartment and doubled over, vomiting until my stomach emptied itself.

My hands shook as I wiped my mouth in disgust, and my eye fell on the cooler which I held in my other hand, the sight made me flinch.

‘The one thing I love most about you, Leah, is your cooking. It’s almost as perfect as you,’ Xavier’s voice from our teenage years echoed in my mind.

The memory tasted bitter in my tongue.

Nausea swirled in my insides again, which I gulped down.

I wonder if he had been faking his love for me at that time too.

Maybe he just said it to make my pathetic excuse self feel better.

Wiping the tears trailing down my face, as I breathed harshly.

I clenched my jaw in anger and pain, I dumped the food which I had brought for him.

I continuously wiped the tears which trailed down my face because the awkward and pitiful looks I was getting in the elevator ride down became overwhelming.

By the time I hailed a cab, my eyes were swollen and my face was terribly pale.

The driver kept throwing weird glances at me, probably because I sat too stiffly, with my fist clenched tightly on my phone and my jaws locked hard.

The sound of my phone ringing snapped me out of my thoughts.

I answered the call, without even looking at the caller ID as my best friend's excited voice blared through the speaker.

“Girl, a new club just opened. I don’t know why I bother asking you—I know your answer is no as always—but seriously, you are twenty-three and you need to live a little, Leah,” she said.

Her words stung because she was right like always.

I had always been the good girl.

The one who wanted to be perfect and never break any rules.

“I don’t know why you are so stuck up on Xavier.

When he hardly gives you the time of the day.

When would you open your eyes, Leah, and stop following him like a puppy.

That man is not good enough for you,” she continued.

And how badly did I want to scream on the phone that she was right.

She had always been right.

Tracy never liked Xavier and she made it known from day one.

But I was always too blinded by my love for him to listen.

“Besides, he is always out partying with other girls.

It’s not even like he tries to hide it. It’s always on the news.

I know you might say no, but girl, please just come to the club for once, you might actually enjoy it,” Tracy said with disgust reeling in her tone.

I glanced at my pitiful reflection in the cab window. The good girl stared back at me—her eyes red, broken and completely humiliated.

The girl who cooked, scrubbed and cried, always wanting to please others while everyone else treated her like dirt.

Had I been so blind to his actions since that I never saw any reason to question it.

Rage filled me, as my nails dug into the skin of my palm, tearing through the tough flesh.

Xavier partied recklessly, flaunting, while I stayed at home, clinging to be perfect for him.

The perfect woman who would fit into Xavier

Kingsley's life and take the position of his wife. But now not any longer, not after what I saw him doing in his apartment.

Not after what he said about me.

Now, for the first time—I crave something darker.

A wave of hunger filled me, one that I was very ready to sedate tonight.

“You’re right Tracy,” I said, my voice sounding calmer than I expected. “I have lived a shell of myself for so long.

And I intend to change that tonight. Send the address of the club, I’ll meet you there now.”

When I hung up, my lips curved into a shaky smile.

For the first time in years, I made a decision, one that was mine and mine alone—not Xavier, or Vivian my step-mother.

And tonight, I was going to ruin the one thing Xavier had stolen from me for seventeen years.

If he can take everything away from me, then I’ll take the one thing he never deserved.

The one thing I had deprived myself of because I was too good to be tainted.

Tonight I’ll reclaim my freedom.

Tonight, I’ll live, sin and ruin myself on my own terms.