I-MARK

We found ourselves looking uncomfortably at each other around that conference table.

That specific Monday, we had met to discuss a series of points regarding the business, and as the CEO of the company and its representative, I had to dispense with the debates that were taking place at that moment.

For example, one of the points to discuss that Monday was the meeting that would take place tomorrow, with the representatives of the advertising company that would be in charge of the development of the advertising campaign for the new wine catalog that the vineyard of my brother Matt, who was present in the group, had developed.

Notably, my brother was new in the area of trade as it had always used his wine for personal consumption, but thanks to an investor who recently had proven product.” I.” had convinced him to develop as divine nectar at higher scale, of course he had refused at first, claiming that he was doing well with his salary as a lawyer and that, even if he wanted to, he couldn’t take that big step because of the cost of such a great work that was required.

Thank God, he had a younger brother who had a company that was based on that.

Be productive, was a company that provided financial support to small and emerging brands in order to promote the products that the brand wanted to exploit. 

We also financed projects that many banks rejected as insignificant, and, although in reality, they were right since we didn’t earn much money with these small attributions, I felt that in this way I was working positively for the economy of my country in promoting startup companies and shops.

I also thought that this way God would accept me more easily in heaven when I died, but that was another matter.

Of course, we weren't funding any crap that showed up at our doors, otherwise I'd be bankrupt by now. Every month, were chosen from five to six folders to discuss with the board of the company, which were four and we were at that moment watching to see who defiantly decided to talk about first.

Matt's wine theme was already old water. We had all voted in favor of my proposal to provide the necessary support and it is not because I am the owner of 85% of the company, no, although possibly that would have helped, but I’d have rejected it knowing that my other partners would see it as risky. In that aspect, I learned to accept my mistakes and forget the issues without going into absurd arguments.

Anyway, I think having strayed from the subject, the purpose of why we were in complete silence was the latest product to debate on the agenda.

“Well.” I spoke finally after just seventeen minutes in silence, and I lifted é my seat.” if no one else will talk, I think I’ll retire me because I have more important matters to attend to than please enclose a vow of silence.

“Come on, Mark, sit down.” Kristopolis Karalakis said from my left looking at me amused.” I think I've gotten to the heart of the matter.

“You, me and the rest of the board have done it, Kristos.” I answered releasing the buttons of my jacket once more and sitting down again.” It's a shit in the name.

“That's right.” Paul answered clearing his throat.” Maybe if we agreed to a new meeting with the client, we could convince them to change it.

“I spoke with Andrew before we meet here.” answered Kristo s referring to the client.” I said the name was personal for him and his wife and didn’t want change.

I hit the table with both palms of my hands, startling even my poor brother, who didn’t have anything to do with the matter but who, I imagine, had stayed out of simple curiosity.

“If we accepted this project, it was because we saw the potential!” I exposed by getting up again and starting to walk from one side to the other.” We simply cannot launch a condom with I love you as a name on the market.” I exclaimed in exasperation.” If your wife loves to whisper those words in your ear when you have sex, well, keep it to you both, but we need a big name. If we agreed to do business with them and close the deal before, was because we were asked a few days to think the name of the mother fucker condom, so I refuse to put in shelves that thing! I just expect that they don’t choose a pink packaging with fuchsia letters as well. 

“Calm down, Mark.” Kevin finally spoke – You know we cannot breach contracts; it would be a total waste of money; we could be sued for infringement. We’ve never gone through something like that and we won’t start to do at this point.

“I have an idea.” we all turn to the owner of the shy voice.” Maybe they should wait until tomorrow and ask the advertisers who are going to come for advice, they could arrange a meeting with both them and the client and maybe, just maybe, they’ll manage to make them change their mind about the name, they would have to make them understand that it would be commercial suicide even before the product is launched.” Matt advised.  

“The problem is, Matt, that we are not talking about the same advertising agency, they are coming specifically to talk about the Purple Dream wineries. The agency chosen for this joke.” I picked up the black condom box still unlabeled.” They will come on Friday to close the deal. 

He frowned.

“And why use different agencies? Isn't it better to work with only one?

“Yes.” was the simple answer Kevin.” But it happens that we have never been satisfied with the work of any of them. So, we agreed to use a different for every project, and in that way, we encourage small businesses looking to take flight but can’t because they don’t get important accounts to achieve it.

“But what your brother is saying is not a bad idea, Mark.” Kristos got up too.” we haven’t closed deals with the other agency, maybe we should wait for tomorrow, but yes.” We all saw him expectantly.” We need to meet as soon as possible with the customer and make them change their mind… Oh, by the way, have any of you tried the product? – We all shacked our heads.” The you should, so it would facilitate the people’s job tomorrow.

“How would that help?” I asked confused.

“Do you know what it feels like to use it? – Kristos asked raising an eyebrow.

“And is there a difference between one condom and another?” All four of them looked at me as if I had kicked a puppy.

“Of course, there is, Mark!” Matt commented coming to my side.” there are with texture, super thin, retardants, flavors, colors...

“Anyway, there are a lot.” Paul completed amused to see my dismay.” but I think Kristos is right, we have to try the product and tomorrow we’ll provide information on the performance of the I love you to the advertisers.” and with that he took a package of six units from the table.” look how lucky I am, this is a mixed box.” he said winking at me before leaving the room. 

“You should also have a few, Mark, at least to know the difference between one and the other, see you tomorrow.” Kevin took a few too and left.

“Unbelievable.” I commented once only Matt and I were left in the room.” I made a completely fool of myself.

“I still don’t understand how you didn’t know that there was more than one type of condom, Mark.

“Of course, I knew, it's just that I always buy the same one because I thought there was no difference between them.” I exposed defensively when I saw that he kept looking at me as if I had two heads.

He just walked over to the table took three packages, and then left them in my hand.

“I'll tell you what you are going to do.” he said placing a hand on my shoulder.” Tonight, you are going to go to the bar at the end of the street and you are going to hook up with a hot woman. You will treat her beautifully, you will smile at her, you will invite her a few drinks and if she gives you the green light, which I doubt will not happen when she sees your face, you will fuck her. There are none of those boring regulars wraps that you usually buy, these are better and I know you will notice, and the feelings you’ll experience will be told tomorrow at the meeting, okay? It's an order from an older brother.” he completed trying to be funny but his look showed concern.

I knew it was because of me.

“You know I don't do that kind of thing, Matt.

“Yes, I know that you must necessarily go on at least three dates with a woman to think about sleeping with her, Mark, which I don’t understand with you being an attractive man as you are. And this comes from a married man with two children that loves and melts for his wife, so don´t think that I am insinuating myself, but seriously.” He stopped smiling again.” You need to leave the past behind.” He hit me on the shoulder with a serious gesture and then left me alone in the room with my eyes starring the black wraps, the same that put me through the greatest shame of my life.

Lie, said a voice in my head, I knew that I had didn’t have the most embarrassment in my life. I didn’t even feel such word moments before thanks to my ignorance with the subject of the prophylactics that seemed to mock from my hand.

That had happened over ten years ago and although it didn't feel the same way anymore, it did still hurt.

I mentally forced myself to erased those memories with a shake of my head, I didn’t want to go there, because I had learned that it wasn’t good for me to look back.

I was no longer a child.

I was a man. A successful, professional, important entrepreneur, envied by other men and desired by females.

But, so what with that? My life had been in chaos since the beginning of the year, when my life suffers a turn of 180 degrees, that made close in my own shell. I knew and accepted it, I became in an antisocial type of person, who had stopped living and just focused in work. It was the only thing that had made me forget and calmed the pain that I knew, if I continued down this path, would never leave.

Not even Jessica, my ex-fiancée, had been able to get me out of the hole where I had buried myself and not because she didn’t try, quite the contrary, she had been patient and kind for at least the first two months, but when she noticed that it was me the one who didn't want to be helped, she thrown the towel and finished with me.

And I didn't care, I didn't care at the time and now I cared much less. I had decided to take that step because... I have no idea, I only know that one day she had told me that we had already been together for two years and one thing led to another and the next moment we were in a jewelry store choosing the engagement ring and a year later, I was abandoned.

They asked me if my pride had been hurt, but to be honest, both my pride and my heart were intact, it wasn’t as if I had loved her, I mean, I felt special affection for her, but that was it. From the moment we met, she showed to be thoughtful, showed a lot of intelligence, and was very competent in her job as a manager in a marketing company... of what? No idea, I no longer remember.

As I don´t remember the last time, I had had pleasant sex, the kind that leaves the mind in blank, heavy breathings, a feeling of peace and your body light. I only knew that my fiancée had left me eight months ago and that I had nine without sex.

I let out a resigned sigh.

Maybe I should follow my older brother's order and go to the bar.

Regardless of whether I had no desire to find out the quality, strength, texture, smell, taste and who knows what else of the condoms that were stored in the back pocket of my pants, I needed a shot of whiskey.

Or maybe a whole bottle.