Seconds pass, turning into long, dreadful moments that eventually feel like an eternity of pure lull. Julie and I are fighting the threat of mental breakdown as we stare at the daring girl before us. She is not breaking her stare for me. And I see in her eyes how much she is waiting for my answer.Why this, God? I was doing well without the memories of those rotten souls. I had moved on. I even have a boyfriend, whom I know I have not introduced to Angel, but there is something between us. I was over that, and I was not willing to ever turn back. I had closed that chapter and opened a new one in which my past, which includes her idiotic father, were never to bea part of Who would have thought my very own child would be the one to remind me of that ugly-fugly past?“Angel, baby?” Julie speaks, deciding to come to my rescue after realizing I am shot of words. My head is filled with a zillion sentiments, and unfortunately, none of them are good. It is an assortment of bittersweet pasts
It’s a bright Monday morning. I put on my final touches of light makeup and slid on my shoes. I look at my baby. She is still fast asleep. She is still a beauty, even in her sleep. My whole life is staring at me. She is my all.The weekend was awfully dull and dreadful for the first time. She refused to talk to anyone. We nearly forced her to eat. Her toys meant nothing. She hasn’t even set foot in her playroom.Honestly, I feel awful about this whole situation. I don’t want to see her hurt. I cannot handle the rift between us. I am torn, hopeless, and helpless. I kiss her cheek and leave my room.My work needs me early at dawn, so Julie takes care of preparing her and taking her to school. Then I pick her up and return with her in the evening. I hope to see her face brighten when I pick her up. However, things are not so promising, I am afraid. Afraid of what to tell her the next time she brings that topic up. And also, I am so afraid of the rift between us growing. I am torn already
I reach the Derhi Hotel at quarter past six. I pay the taxi and after howling my thank you, I hike past the gate.If there is one thing that boss Martin hates, it is lateness. That can make you lose your job in a blink and he won’t even blink as he fires you. And here I am fifteen good minutes late. I crossing my heart as I go through the entrance, hoping that he hasn’t known I have not arrived.The hotel is already full as I walk in. Everyone is in their right places doing their respective jobs. I feel so ashamed as I hike upstairs to the changing room. It is my first time coming to work late so you can image the nervousness.I almost fall inside with the door of the changing room. I meet Hellen doing the cleaning. I was meaning to ignore her until I grab my uniform, but she chose to speak first.“What happened to the early bird today?” She asks, stopping the cleaning.“Hi, Hellen. Does the boss know?” I ask as I pull down the dress.“Unfortunately, yes.”Shoot me! I am so done for!
I topped off my black jeans with a black knee-length trench coat and black boots. I throw a glance at Angel. Again, I picked her up from school, still in her gloomy mode, which didn’t even allow me to shop for my new outfits in peace. On arriving home, she went straight to bed and tucked herself into the duvet. She hasn’t said a word. I kiss her goodbye and head out.I find Julie staring outside through the window at the sitting room.“Hey! I am heading out now.” I said, conjuring her from where she was.She strolls up to me with a smile on her face.“Your prince charming is waiting outside.” She says it, and I sigh.So that is what she was staring at, huh?“I better go now before I keep him waiting for long.” I say, and just then, George’s message pops up on my phone.I opened it and read it inwardly.‘I am outside.XxxGeorge.That simple! That flat!“Shouldn't your face be glowing as you go to meet your knit in shining armor?” Julie asks, and today, for the first time in our long f
I am gawking at this duo as they disgustingly stare at each other while my insides are grumbling. George stands up, but since I don’t understand what is going on here and because my paranoia hormones are flaring with red flags, I remain seated. I don’t even know where I am getting the composure, the grilled balls, to be holding my cool like this, but ooh, hail to whatever is supplying it to me.The way they are staring at each other is nettlesome. The way she is twinkling at him is galling. The way he seems to be different with her stinks more than anything.And as if to irritate me more, as if to reveal the message he wanted to put across to me with his fucking coldness for so long, I watch as they inch closer, and closer, and closer, until their lips find each other, producing the most annoying mouse click sound that I have ever heard.What the…I take a sip of my tea to calm the nerves that are stroking me as the reality of things starts to surge in. This one is not a bittersweet r
I pay the taxi guy and walk inside my gate, feeling so raw for a person who is supposed to be heartbroken. But thinking about this whole George thing, I realize there was neither love nor affection between us. I honestly cannot even tell what it was that I felt for that guy to enter into that sh*t of a relationship.Maybe it was the urge to belong to someone again after so long, the desire to think that someone loves me, or maybe I just wanted to try and see whether my heart is still active. Yeah, I think the latter was the sole reason. I wanted to know whether my heart could love again. If I can feel something as great as what I felt back then before it got shuttered,And after tonight, I surmise I now know the truth. That I was shuttered beyond repair. I can never love someone. The only love I have left and the only feelings I have left are for my daughter. She is the only person I can ever love. And you know, I think that is okay because I know my daughter will never shutter my hea
I step out of the taxi looking like a doll in my white knee-length dress that fits me well. Note that it just fits me. It is nothing like those skin-kissing dresses I see being worn out there that stick to the body like they will stay there forever. Sigh! I topped it with a pink blazer and a pair of two-inch pink stilettos. I look so fresh and new in my new look. All I am hoping for now is that these damn heels will be nice to me and not wear me out. It is my first time wearing these high shoes. I hope I can manage.I am pretty late because the hotel is empty when I walk in. The workers are just doing the final touches on tidying the place before the customers start pouring in.“Hey, make sure to do a thorough job, okay? Everything should be speckless, okay?” I speak to them.“Yes, ma’am!” They chorus.Maam? I expected Irma. Or, I know. I am not on the same level with them now. I am their head, and that comes with its own kind of honor. But I think I am too young for that, ma’am. And
It has been minutes, but our eyes are still diving deep into each other with incertitude. I am still trying to convince myself that I am hallucinating. That is what I am thinking, which can never be. That my eyes are playing tricks on me. After what seems to be an eternity of pure stare, I take a long blink, hoping to peel my eyes and find this nightmare dream all gone. But this cologne This feeling.This cannot be. God, please let it be that I am delirious.“IRMA!”Faint but profound, with an ice-coated tremor Such is the signature demeanor of his voice. It echoes with a very familiar sense that summons my eyes to open as I sample the awful nightmare before me. The aura is choking. Hell has broken loose. Everything in me trembles, and I scorn the fact that he can both sense and feel my trembling.RAYSON DREW MAZUR!I cannot believe my eyes.My worst nightmare is staring right into my eyes, and god knows how much I detest how much his disgusting presence has unlocked the lock to where
“And I will do everything I can to make sure you will never succeed, Mother!” Bravo! God bless this man for me.His mother snaps her face at him. “I cannot believe that you and your father had the audacity to defy my orders and go for this woman. Are you happy now? She has been here only for a few seconds, and she is already wrecking Havok. See how she is disrespecting me in front of even these pesky servants!"Oh, is she crying this early? It sucks, but it is interesting in a way. I mean, seeing her this way is a very heartfelt picture. And having her own son and her husband take my side gives me so much hilarity. I wonder where Ana is. She should be here to add more fun.“The problem is not about her dissecting you, Mrs. Mazur. The question is, do you have any respect for yourself? Do you have any shame, because even up to this point, I am trying to analyze just how a woman who is supposed to be my real mother could be so cruel and shameless to do what you did? So tell me, Mrs. Mazu
The drive has been so short and quiet. There is nothing that has been said throughout the seemingly short journey. Everyone has been engrossed in their own thoughts, except for Angel, who has been throwing questions here and there along the way.Coming into contact with the gate, Ray hoots, and the door opens. We drive in together with the jeep that is carrying our luggage.Taping our feet to the ground as we got out of the car, Angel was about to shout her awe at the place she would be living, but her glee was held at her throat by the sight of the antagonistic eyes of Ray’s mother and Tarah. They are here, gawking at us like they have loaded guns and their fingers on the trigger, ready to shoot us and send us to our next lives. If they didn’t have their hands crossed on their chests, I would have been forced to check and be weary of every slight movement. But I guess we are saved since there is no sense of guns. The bullets from their murderous eyes are totally harmless since I am u
That day. How can I leave all those memories of that moment behind? I cannot. I do not want to. Just like him. “I am carrying that one too.” I say.“Does that mean that it meant something to you?” He asks. You should see the hope and desperation in his eyes. I never liked the word miserable, but I like how it displays itself in his eyes. It gives them a look that would thaw anyone.I would like to get lost in them and swim through their walls and try to scour what more miseries lay deep there, but I guess there will be time for this and much more. Later? Yeah. When we surpass all these obstacles. When we are free to love and cherish each other without any worries or roadblocks, “I will ask the same thing that I asked your father, Ray. I know your father does not need any form of stress, and heaven knows I want none for him. But your mother and your wife are probably having a grave dug for me and my child the moment we step foot in that mansion. And you know I will not take any sh*t fr
It is that awful day. That day, I am closing yet another chapter and opening a new one of my unknown future. That day, we are saying goodbye to this house that has been our home for the last about six years. Sad, somehow.Darting my eyes around this house and this particular room, I won’t deny that I will not miss this place This is where I started my life all over again. Another phase of my life unfolded. I came into this house about six years ago. My heart was bleeding. I was torn. I was so broken and so lost. So confused. And most importantly, I am so bitter with myself, the world, and everything in general. The graph that depicted my fur was so obscure. I could not tell where I would end up with my baby. All that I knew was that I was a pregnant woman. A broken and broken potential motherI was a pregnant woman whose baby daddy had just toyed with and betrayed me in the most cruel way. That is what I knew back then. I was made to believe that, and I embraced that lie. I was about
“Mommy! Mommy! Mom!”Damn!I kick my duvet aside and get out of bed at a light speed. I hike to the door and open it as fast as I can ever do that, and Angel’s face greets me.“Angel? What is the problem? What happened?” I ask as I pull her inside, looking around for anything that is chasing her.“Nothing, mommy!”Nothing? She came all the way to my room, running and screaming my name this early morning, all for nothing. What time is it? I don’t have a wall clock on my face, so I grab my phone from under the pillow and check the time. Huh? Just twenty minutes past six in the morning? This is early, and she is awake? It's not even a school day.“Why are you still sleeping, mommy? What if Daddy comes to get us and we are not ready?” She asks.Ooh, that is it? The excitement? The glee. The enthusiasm and everything within the margins of that for the idea of living with her dad is what woke her up this early. My goodness! We have everything packed. Even the beds have been garbled, and we
“Okay. I suppose you have bought a gun, then? We really will need one unless you want to die in the hands of Mrs. Mazur and Ray’s wife, Irma. Goodness! I don’t like the kind of feeling that I am getting. We are technically throwing ourselves to the wolves.” Here comes Julie, the lamenter. The fear-freak little bitch She is scared to hell by this news that I just gave her.I know. I know. Yes, believe me, I do understand her. Everyone would look at this scenario from her perspective. Almost everyone would share her sentiments right now about this madness. All this is wrong. All is risky. Wait, risky, yes. Tick that one. But wrong? What exactly is wrong? Me granting an old, ailing man’s plea? Is my daughter getting what she truly deserves? What am I entitled to? Or the possibility of me and Ray perhaps just reuniting? Or is Ray performing his duties as a father to his only child?What exactly is wrong there? Nothing wrong with the above, right? We are just rewriting all the wrongs here.
“First, I need at least about three days to sort things out. I need to prepare my daughter for this first.” I say.I know she will be over the moon with the mind-boggling news of living with her father. I know how much she longs for this—to have her dad close. This will surely blow her mind off. And as early as now, despite the fights that await us ahead because of this, because I know it will evoke a catastrophe, I am happy for my daughter. And I will not deny her this golden chance, nor will I let anyone hinder her from enjoying this new life that she is so entitled to. It is her right. Nobody should stand in her way of this.“I understand. You can have the three days, but please, my dear, don’t take too long. I want to sort things out as early as possible.” Mr. Mazur says:I don’t understand what is chasing this man. Why does he want to speed up things like this? All the same, maybe it’s the need to clear his conscience. If that is the case, I will make sure he gets the peace that
“I was a very vibrant man when you last saw me, Irma. I was the man of the house. I held the sole authority to make you marry my son, and you two could be living happily with each other. No one could have dared go against my word. You wouldn’t need to sneak your hands under the table just to hold each other like your heart wants.”Shieeet! Damn! How does he know? I told you this man is so sharp-witted. I try to yank my hand away from Ray now that we have been caught, but I guess he is glad that we have actually been caught because he does not let go. He pins me more on him, and since I don’t want to arouse any more suspicions, I just let him have his way.I blush as I gaze I look back at Mr. Mazur, though. This is so embarrassing. The old man might be thinking about what we would be doing if there was no one around. But if only he knew that we had already sampled that sin. Sigh!“Instead of choosing what was right, which was my son’s happiness, I put my interests first, my legacy, my
So,their name had no stain, until I decided to stain it. They were stainless untill Irma decided to show up and now she is dragging their name into the mud. And they can not allow that. He is here to ask me to stop this war that I have started because it will stain their name more than it has already done.“I would like to know, do you have any proof of what you are accusing my wife of? Because if you don’t…”“I do have.” I cut him off, nicely, though, after remembering Ray told me not to abset him. “I would also like to let you know that I was not planning on causing any trouble for your family. I was minding my business and doing perfectly fine with my daughter without you all of you in the picture. Believe me, there was no way I would have chosen all this mess over the peace I had.” I explain.“I know. But now you are in this mess. What do you plan to do?”He asks.“I am sorry, Mr Mazur, but that I can not tell you. All I know is that your wife and your daughter-in-law will not leav