I pay the taxi guy and walk inside my gate, feeling so raw for a person who is supposed to be heartbroken. But thinking about this whole George thing, I realize there was neither love nor affection between us. I honestly cannot even tell what it was that I felt for that guy to enter into that sh*t of a relationship.Maybe it was the urge to belong to someone again after so long, the desire to think that someone loves me, or maybe I just wanted to try and see whether my heart is still active. Yeah, I think the latter was the sole reason. I wanted to know whether my heart could love again. If I can feel something as great as what I felt back then before it got shuttered,And after tonight, I surmise I now know the truth. That I was shuttered beyond repair. I can never love someone. The only love I have left and the only feelings I have left are for my daughter. She is the only person I can ever love. And you know, I think that is okay because I know my daughter will never shutter my hea
I step out of the taxi looking like a doll in my white knee-length dress that fits me well. Note that it just fits me. It is nothing like those skin-kissing dresses I see being worn out there that stick to the body like they will stay there forever. Sigh! I topped it with a pink blazer and a pair of two-inch pink stilettos. I look so fresh and new in my new look. All I am hoping for now is that these damn heels will be nice to me and not wear me out. It is my first time wearing these high shoes. I hope I can manage.I am pretty late because the hotel is empty when I walk in. The workers are just doing the final touches on tidying the place before the customers start pouring in.“Hey, make sure to do a thorough job, okay? Everything should be speckless, okay?” I speak to them.“Yes, ma’am!” They chorus.Maam? I expected Irma. Or, I know. I am not on the same level with them now. I am their head, and that comes with its own kind of honor. But I think I am too young for that, ma’am. And
It has been minutes, but our eyes are still diving deep into each other with incertitude. I am still trying to convince myself that I am hallucinating. That is what I am thinking, which can never be. That my eyes are playing tricks on me. After what seems to be an eternity of pure stare, I take a long blink, hoping to peel my eyes and find this nightmare dream all gone. But this cologne This feeling.This cannot be. God, please let it be that I am delirious.“IRMA!”Faint but profound, with an ice-coated tremor Such is the signature demeanor of his voice. It echoes with a very familiar sense that summons my eyes to open as I sample the awful nightmare before me. The aura is choking. Hell has broken loose. Everything in me trembles, and I scorn the fact that he can both sense and feel my trembling.RAYSON DREW MAZUR!I cannot believe my eyes.My worst nightmare is staring right into my eyes, and god knows how much I detest how much his disgusting presence has unlocked the lock to where
“I will have you know that I do not appreciate you following me around! Stop irritating me!” I spit in his face as I racked under him across the table.He does not respond. He just stares as if he is cognizant of how much his mere existence irritates me. He is a total annoying jerk!“You seem to be looking for something. Mind if I help you with the search?” He asks, his eyes not leaving me.Is this moron for real? He still has the guts to tickle my core after everything? To speak to me?“And who told you that I need help, Mr. Know it all? And even if I do, you are useless to me in all aspects, Rayson Drew Mazur! Stop being a snoopy, annoying jerk and leave me the fuck alone!” I fired him, but that is still not enough to even scratch his crown of ice.“Why are you so rude? I…”“Rude? You think I am being rude to you, Mr. Mazur Jr.? I am being so nice, on the contrary. And if you do not want me to bleed my wrath on you, get the hell out of my office. You have no business being here, and
“Shoot me!” Julie utters an exclamation.If she is thunderstruck by the news, then you can imagine how I look right now. My whole body is still quivering with fear and vexation, and my head is spinning brutally. I cannot believe the nightmare that unfolded back there in that hotel. I am still battling with mental rejection. What a blast this is! What a nightmare! What a small world we live in! Why did the walls of this damn earth close up on me like this? Why God?I hate this day more than the day I learned of that jerk’s betrayal.“You know, I am still thinking that you are probably confusing things, Irma! How can that jerk be your new boss? It is not possible!” Julie argues.How I wish that was true. How I wish I had even just a slight incertitude about what I saw with my raw eyes and heard with my very own ears. But I don’t blame her. I would argue even more than she if I were the one hearing this narration from someone else. If I were not a witness to that nightmare, I would still
Sometimes, it is not always about what we are against. It is not always about cowering in the shadows of ‘this is bigger than me’ or ‘ I cannot handle this’. It is not always about what you will lose. It is all about getting to the point of taking the mantle and wearing the armor and being ready to confront your fears and everything that is a threat to your peace and happiness. It is all about what we are fighting for and how much we are willing to do for what we are fighting for. It is all about allowing the willpower to come out of your shell and drive you. The willingness to risk your all to fight for and protect what you hold dearestAnd this damsel has just had it with running and hiding. I want a peaceful life for my daughter. I do not want to raise her in fear and run from one place to another. I ran from the Mazurs for her safety. I refused to fight my stepfamily back then, also for her own safety. But that is enough. This is where I draw the line. This is the turning point wh
Julie is dumbstruck as he stares at the figure before us. Her whole body is shaking to the point that everyone can see it. But I think I was totally reborn a few minutes ago. I am not quivering the way I did hours ago when my eyes met this pair. I am not shaking, nor am I astounded. I guess you can never have the same surprise twice, right?I have made peace with this nightmare, although I cannot lie and say that I am not anxious about what he is doing here. Julie was right, huh? They really are bent on messing with me. Thank goodness my daughter is in school.“What the hell are you doing here?” I speak because Julie seems to have swallowed her voice a long time ago. She has not recovered from her shock, and I do not think she will recover any time soon.“Sorry for budging in. I came to have just a civil talk with you.” Ray’s voice echoes.Civil talk, huh? Like the one I had with him that last time in his room? Like the one I had with his mother that night? Civil his ass.“You have no
“Excuse me?” I squeal, banking all my notoriety on him to hearken to his dumbfounding ridiculousness again. Julie is still gawking at him with dismay, her mouth still hanging open.“I want you back to work!” He elucidates, and I discharge out a breath that I did not know I was holding, while Julie’s face drops and she closes her mouth.At least, it was that. He should have gone straight to the point instead of giving a half-nonsensical string of words. But if he was aiming to anger me, he succeeded because I was arranging a series of profanities to howl at him.“Why? You and your family are a bunch of cunning beings. What kind of games are you playing with me again? What do you stand to gain from me working for you? What other evil plans are you all cooking this time around?” I ask, and he heaves a deep sigh, as if he had muttered a white lie. As if I am being a drama queen. As if I am accusing the saints.I commend the school where he went for his master's in acting, because looking
“You all wronged me, Ray—you, that whore you tossed me aside for like I meant absolutely nothing to you and your entire family. You are all rotten to the core. I detest you all so much, like I have, and I will never loathe anyone in this world. You are all cruel.” I rant, my face heating up with something between rage and relief.I feel like pouring all this out to him is doing me a lot of good, but I don’t know if I have the energy to say all that is in my heart and mind. I am growing too weak. I am losing my balance. I am convulsing as if I am being tickled by an electric shock. I thank the heavens for his other hand supporting my waist; otherwise, I might have collapsed by now.“I admit we are all that. Maybe,” He releases my hand, and his hand travels to my face, stroking my cheek so gently. His sweet touch makes me take a long blink as I sample all the forbidden sweet sparks it is enkindling—all that it used to make me feel back then. Didn't the spark fade away? “Maybe we don’t e
Being atop of him like this awakens all the feelings I felt for him a long time ago. These are things that I have not had time for for five good years. Things that I did not anticipate I would ever feel again, especially for him. And above all, there are things that I am not ready to feel again.This shit is forbidden! Totally forbidden! I have no time for this.I jerk myself away from him, and the good thing is that he did not object. He did not try to hold me back. He just unclasped his hands willingly. He perhaps knows he has no right to cage me with him like that. Pinning me to him as if he has any right or as if what we had meant any fuck to him. It’s a serious offense.I stand near the bed and eventually find myself slamming my butt on the soft mattress as I battle to rock-steady my emotions. How can my stupid body react as if I crashed into an electric spark? How on earth can it react to him this way? Has it forgotten what he put me through?Damn me!Oh, I know. It must be the
“Nobody can hate the Irma that I knew, much less your own child, Irma.” He states it so nonchalantly, like he is saying it from the deepest part of his heart.As if he did not see how my daughter was behaving towards me. That aside, I should not show him how this is affecting me. I should not let him know he is winning and that his win is breaking my every sense.“Well, I am no longer that same old Irma. I am someone else so different from that naive girl of five years ago.” I state, hoping that this transformation that I am talking about is not one of the reasons behind the rift between me and Angel aside from her father’s return.“What changed you?” He implores, stepping in closer, and I hope he is not anticipating taking another step. I don’t want to anticipate us being closer than we already are.“You and your entire family changed me. You all turned me into this bitter woman that I am right now.” I fire right into his face.He takes a long wink, as if that drilled through his hea
I walk up the stairs with my entire body flaring with a combo of rupturing sentiments. If Ray is really innocent, what now? I am sure that will warrant him all the grounds in the world to get close to us—I mean, to his daughter. His urge will grow stronger. He will be unstoppable until he gets what he wants. Then his entire family will come after me and my daughter, most especially that blackhearted, wicked mother of his and his grossly abhorrent wife. It will be utter chaos. And him? Which side will he choose? Can he go against his entire family to protect his daughter from their evil schemes? Will he toss us aside once again, just like he did back then?I saunter into my bedroom, and I find his shoes, coat, and bottle of liquor cluttered on the floor. The guy could not even try to display some little crap of decency in my room. What a jerk! I collect them all. I was meaning to throw them out through the window, but I found myself resting them on the table at the window.I stroll bes
“What are you talking about?” I ask.She shifts in her posture, but I do not move even a muscle to showcase my involvement because I would be lying to say that I am blending in with what she is trying to do here. She is trying to make me go easy on the guy, which is not happening. It is too soon to even start mulling over the chances of his clean-handedness.“I am not forcing you into anything, Irma, but I am just looking at this whole scenario from a different perspective, okay?” She looks at me after realizing how drawn off I am.I heave a deep sigh and look at her. It does not mean I am fascinated now. No! I am just listening to her to not hurt her feelings, and if it were someone else, I wouldn’t even waste my time. But she better not take advantage of my being nice and say something that will rile me more. I don’t want to say something that will ruin what we have had for the past five years.“What perspective, Julie?” I ask.“Ray had a very good opportunity to hurt Angel, even th
We finish setting the table for dinner at around half past one, while I am still mangled with the redoubtable picture upstairs—Ray and my child—because she is not his child as far as I am concerned. My daughter finally won over my bullheadedness, and the stupid jerk won with his mental blackmail too. I had to let him stay for a while and be with his daughter, which he does not deserve at all. But the guy had the bravery to lull himself into sleep in my own house and on my bed. The gut, huh?It is stinging! It is hurting me so much. It is shattering my heart and itching my ass that my daughter is enveloped in the arms of that bastard acting like a loving daddy. I wish I had a strong heart to say no once more to my daughter and kick that jerk’s ass out, because that is what he deserved. Actually, he deserves worse than that. It is said that the judge is in heaven, but I feel like crowing myself as a judge of such crimes here on earth and making my own judgment. I would clear the faces o
He furrows his eyes. His eyes are fixed on me, but I can tell his mind is miles away. A moment passed, with him lost in thoughts, and I challenged him to dare lie to me. He finally fixes his attention on me, and I watch every single moment of his lips as they curve up to utter something.“Nothing happened! Nobody talked about you with anyone! We have never, aside from the day before yesterday, sat down to discuss you.” Shock. “The Mauricios had left when I went back to the house that day. I joined my dad in the study to discuss business. That is the truth.”Mental spank! Disbelief!“Freaking white lies, Rayson! Why is it so hard for you to tell the truth? Is your conscience eating you that much that you would rather spend your entire life cooking all sorts of lies to cover the truth?” I squeal, and the devil knows I didn’t intend to.“In the name of my precious child, and in the name of the true love that I felt for you and all those beautiful memories we shared, Irma, I swear to you
“Mr. Rayson, I am asking you to kindly leave us in peace. You know you have no right to be here. Haven’t you caused my friend enough trouble?” Julie speaks.My mind is boiling with a zillion things to say to this jerk. I want to howl all the insolences from that night to him loud and clear. Maybe that will pull him from this heap of oblivion that he is pretending to be. But my anger is so deep that I do not know where to begin. I wish I could just let it all out in a single howl.“That is what your friend keeps shouting at me since I met her days ago. I want to know why. Only then can I understand exactly what I am being crucified for to the point of being denied the right to be a father to my only child!” He spoke, looking at me and not even blinking.Crusified, huh!“Realy? Then I will rub it on your face so that you will stop disturbing my best friend, Rayson. You and …” I grab Julie’s hand, stopping her from talking.This is my own battle. I appreciate her concerns and the will to
His wife stops when she realizes she is walking alone. She turns around with a heavily confounded face and drags her flamingo legs back.Ray takes a sip of his whiskey, which I would never have recommended. He looks extremely knocked off.“I said, Let us go, Ray!” She screeches between gritted teeth, as if getting wind of her puzzling husband’s weird behavior.“I don’t remember coming here with you. Just leave! I will leave when I feel like it!”Hello! He what? He will leave when he feels like it. This is my house. He is an unwelcome guest who I just asked to leave. I thought I made it clear that they both overstayed their unwelcome visit. What makes him think that he was axed from my statement?“I don’t understand, Ray. What exactly do you mean?” Tarah asked.She is still washed up in a stupor and mental rejection. I appreciate her question, though, because I am also curious about what is going on in this guy’s mind.“I came here to talk to Irma. Well, I don’t think I actually need t