Chapter Six

     Last night as I walked away from the living room, I told myself that I wouldn't cry and that it wasn't true, it couldn't be true. I told myself That I'd be strong.

   But as soon as I walked into my room and locked my door. The water works started coming. Loud sobs from deep inside me.

Because I knew, I just knew that it was true. I was getting married and there's no two ways about it.

So, I cried my heart out until my eyes closed and I slept off.

    Now I was awake my pillow was damp with my tears I'm pretty sure if I squeezed it hard enough, I'd get a few droplets of tears.

   Mother came a few hours ago. Asking me to come down. Or have just breakfast. I ignored her for a while and when she kept insisting i yelled at her to go away.

    Explains why she's was sad yesterday. I know it wasn't her fault hell she probably didn't have a choice either. But I just feel betrayed.

How could she let them do this?  

     I stared at my clock. The time was fifteen past four in the afternoon. I haven't eaten in about twenty four hours yet I wasn't hungry. My stomach felt like it was filled with lead.

I knew I'd have to to face reality to soon but for I just wanted to stay in my bed snuggling under my sheets.

I'd deal with the wedding crap later maybe tomorrow but not today. 

***

      I'd being up for a few minutes. mother's knocking woke me up again at around six in the evening. I think she was crying. She'd threatened to have someone breakdown the door if I didn't let her in. But I was still mad. What can I say? I know how to hold a grudge. I think she noticed I wasn't going to open the door so she gave up and left. That was two hours ago.

Right now, I'm starving. You'd think the anger would take my appetite away but what can I say? I'm not used to being empty.

    Rolling out of bed still dressed in my pajama pants and sponge bob square pants tank. I pull my hair into a messy ponytail and walked downstairs.

My mission? Go to the kitchen, get some dinner and go back up. Don't talk to anyone if I can help it. if I'm lucky enough I won't even see anyone.

    But then since I've never boasted that the big guy upstairs loves me everyone just had to be having dinner in the kitchen today.

    The not so important conversation they were having paused as soon as I entered. Even Manuel was here. If you asked me before today, I could have sworn he didn't know the way to the kitchen. So, either this was planned or a lot had changed in the two and a half years I was away.

"Lola come sit, Lisa will make you a plate" mother said. Her face looked puffy. She's being crying.

"Thanks, but am not very hungry" okay so that was a major lie. But so, what? I don't want to see anyone right now.

"We have to discuss your marriage" My father snapped.

"You can't expect me to marry someone I don't even know! to get married just like that, to get married just like that? out of the blue?" I snapped right back anger coating my voice.

"Yes, you will Dolores, and at the night of your wedding you will spread your legs and carry out your duty!" He deadpan. His eyes filled with rage.

I glared at him. How can he be like this? why is he like this? "Why does it have to be me? I'm sure someone else would be more than happy to take my pla-"

"Enough! you two" Manuel cut in. stack irritation on his face.

God I'd almost forgotten he was in the room as well.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but Lola is right father. We shouldn't force her" I snapped my neck so quickly to kat I think I broke something but I'll deal with that later. Did kat just supported me? I mean we've being fighting over everything for as long as I can remember.

"The choice is not hers. Dolores was chosen. There isn't anything we can do about that." Manuel replied.

"But that is so unfair. I am older than Lola. Therefore, I should wed first, papa this is an insult to me." Kat snapped. "How will show my face outside.

"See, Kat is all too pleased to get married, let her" I argued.

"It has to be you Dolores" Manuel looks bored.

"Wait, if this is about physical appearance, we can work on it" everyone looked at me like I'd lost my mind

"What? It can be done just ask the Kardashians plastics surgery is like magic these days."

Kat glared at me. Mother and father looked confused. Manuel looks bored as usual. Sara and Carlos look on the verge of laughter.

"It has to be you, Dolores. I won't say it again. Now do as your father says. I have work to do." With that Manuel got up and left. 

I did the same.

Leaving without the food I came for.

I went to bed after that.

***

"Can't hold this off for much longer" I said to myself as I rolled out of bed the next morning.

In my bathroom I relived my throbbing bladder. Then looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked like hell.

My dark brown hair looked like two rats played around in it.

A bath wouldn't do. I need a shower. A hot shower.

    After washing up. I stood in front of my mirror and started working on my hair it was always a pain untangling the knots and brushing this mane I call hair pulling all of it over my left shoulder and decide to star from the tips just like how Lydia thought me.

    Around my first time in the academy my hair was a mess all the times. I remember Chloe asking me to cut it but I'd told her I didn't want to.

  Ha! the last time I cut my hair it didn't end well.

I'd asked mama to cut my hair so It would looked like that of a girl I saw in a stupid cartoon.

  Mama cut it alright. After I asked her repeatedly for a week. When father came back home, he was pissed. He was so mad he back handed me.  It was the first time he ever hurt me, physically at least.

  After that he'd said women aren't supposed to cut their hair. Or they'll look ugly and no one will marry an ugly wife.

Then he'd gone ahead and told me never to cut my hair ever again.

  Now I looked at my neatly brushed long hair that I pulled into a high pony tail. "Tada!" I said in a sing song voice.

     Existing the bathroom, I grab a pair black jean shorts and white tank top and pull them on.

Taking a deep breath "this is going to be a long ass day" I said to myself before unlocking my doors and steeping outside.

Deciding to go to the kitchen because I know almost everyone will be there and let's face it, I'm hungry.

      I passed a few guards in the hallways the first one looked at me from afar then quickly looked away as I got closer. As did the rest. I recognized a few from two years ago.

     As I walked pass them without even spearing them a glance a part of me felt guilty.  A small part. Normally I'd smile or wave at them but right now I am pissed at Father, mother, Manuel and everyone else in this Goddamned family. I am a girl on a mission. Have breakfast then find out everything I can about the criminal I'm supposed to marry. And yes, I said criminal. There's no way a man can be in the Mafia with clean hands. Am not really sure what they actually do but I'm quite sure killing is part of their initiation process.

       As I enter the kitchen, I see some servants running around.  Mrs, Lupe making breakfast.

By the side of the kitchen is a huge dining table were everyone usually have breakfast. Carlos was already sitting down there.  A steaming cup of what I assume is coffee in front of him.

     As if he felt my gaze on him, he raised his head and looked towards the entrance where I was standing.

"Lola, Good morning" he said in a clear voice. his gray eyes similar to mine

"Hi Carlos" I replied tiredly before walking in.

His gaze raked down me slowly before coming back up.

He had this wired look in his eyes.

"Lola?" I turned to see Mrs. Lupe making her ways towards me a guilty look in her eyes." My dear I was getting worried about you"

"Morning Mrs. Lupe" I continued towards the breakfast table.

"What would you have dear?"

"I'll have whatever your making" I replied taking a sit in front of Carlos.

"Where is everyone?" I ask after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"I'm not sure I just got up to-"

He was cut off by Mrs. Lupe "here is your breakfast my dear and some coffee" she said placing a plate of scrambled eggs, toasted bread and bacon in front of me.

And the smell oh my God, divine. My stomach practically begged me to dig in and I did.

After a few bites.

"Thanks, Mrs. Lupe" I said and she gave me a small smile but not looking at me in the eyes.

That's odd, she seems almost guilty. Why would sh ?- and then it hit me. She knew!

Clearing my throat, I asked."Mrs. Lupe did you know about it too?"

Her smile fell. "Yes, Lola dear I've always known I'm so sorry." She said in a small voice.

"You too Carlos did you know?" I asked facing him this time.

"Yes Lola" he said in a flat voice.

So basically, everyone knew but me. I wanted to be pissed and freak out but honestly, I didn't have the strength for that.

  Just then mother walked in her face in a worried expression.

"Mother?" I might be mad at her but I still worry.

"Lola oh my God I was so worries. I was just at your room and you weren't there."

"Am fine. I just needed to process all that." Now I feel kind of guilty for making her worry.

Mother comes to take a sit beside me.

"Mama, we need to talk. You owe me some answers"

"Mm of course whatever you want sweetheart"

Mrs. Lupe makes her escape in the name of making breakfast for mother.

"Good morning, Beatrice" Carlos said and I am reminded of his presence.