Chapter 14- Sloane, ten years ago

I have lots of questions for the wolves, but every step I take is so much agony, its hard to focus on anything else. I bite my lip bloody to keep from crying out, but sometimes I can’t help but wince, and stumble when I step on something sharp. Every time I falter or hiss with pain, I feel the brush of fingers against my back to steady me, I hear the brown-haired wolf, no Slade, suck in a breath between his teeth. But still, despite the sweat that coats my brow, and the tremble of my body, I pull myself up straighter and continue down the path we make through the soggy ground and dark waters.

River carries CeCe up ahead, naming the things we see around, the types of trees, wildflowers, the creatures we encounter in the underbrush both big and small. He knows a lot about the swamp. He plucks a salamander from the mud to give us both a better look and encourages us to feel its smooth skin. CeCe does so, but I shake my head, as I know this isn’t a picnic in the woods. I ache in so many places I’ve lost count, the bugs have made me their own personal buffet again, and I’m scared of what happens next. Where will they take us? What will they do with us? Will they take us to live with Grandma Jane? Is the bad wolf really dead?

 Even though he’s a wolf inside, I can’t help but like River a little. He has a cheerful voice and CeCe has already taken to him. She’s surprisingly not squeamish when he picks up the small swamp creatures for her to touch. When we come to a break in the thick trees, the sunlight hits his hair just right, and it looks like fire. CeCe is mesmerized by it too and touches it. River doesn’t seem to mind being pet by my little sister.

 But the wolf at my back doesn’t say much. I can’t figure him out. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t like me at all, and other times, I feel like he likes me too much. I don’t think he even knows himself. He won’t talk to me, yet every time I trip, he’s there to keep me from falling, and he hands me berries he plucks from the bushes. He makes sure I drink when we come to freshwater. I keep the knife he gave me close in my back pocket though. I know I have little reason to trust him, but still my gut tells me I’m safe with him and he’d never hurt me. That he’s not a big bad wolf I need to be afraid of. But I’ve read stories about wolves in sheep’s clothing so I’m cautious to give into my feelings of letting my guard down and trusting him completely.

Something jabs into my right foot and pierces the skin, I cry out, and start to fall. In the blink of an eye, Slade is there scooping me up into his arms and before I know it, he’s set me gently on a fallen log. The swamp has nearly reclaimed it by now, a carpet of thick moss is soft beneath my skin, as the wolf kneels before me and picks up my injured and bleeding foot. A protest is on my lips, but something soft and stern at the same time in his gaze, keeps me quiet. I hadn’t noticed how green his eyes were before. I’ve never seen eyes like his. Much in the way that River’s hair burns beneath the sun, Slade’s eyes glisten like jewels.

“Enough of this. Let’s have a proper look at this foot,” he says, his voice rich and deep.

He pulls off my filthy, blood-soaked sock, and I watch the frown lines form between his eyebrows, around his mouth. He winces by what he sees there, though I don’t look myself. I can feel it enough to know it’s bad. I can see it in his face too.

River comes to have a look for himself, “Ouch. That has to hurt like hell.”

“You said a bad word,” CeCe tells him, making his face soften a bit.

I’m glad my sister is showing signs of being back to her old self again. It gives me hope she’ll be okay one day. Maybe she’ll forget most of what happened to us since the monster killed our parents and drug us into this damn swamp. She’s so little, she might have a chance of forgetting and living a normal life again. But I’m not sure if that is possible anymore, things can never go back to the way they were before when Mom and Dad were alive, and before we knew monsters were real. And well there’s those thoughts that I just can’t forget, the things the bad wolf said about her. But he lied about a lot, and he is crazy. CeCe is as human as I am.

Slade slips the ragged sock back on my foot gently. His eyes meet mine for the first time since we left the shack. “You can’t keep walking on that foot, or you’ll cause some permanent damage. We have a first aid kit back in the Jeep and we’ll clean it up properly. For now, I’m going to carry you out of this swamp.”

My fingers curl into the ivy and moss encasing the log, “I thought wolves left the weak or injured behind to die. Or eats them.”

I can see the force of Slade’s swallow by the bobbing of his throat. I can’t meet his eyes until his fingers are under my chin.

“No one is leaving you behind Sloane. And you are the farthest person from being weak, I’ve ever met.  Bale is the worst of us. We are not all savages.”

My heart tells me this is true, though I’ve only known River and Slade for a few hours at the most. The bad wolf couldn’t hide the monster inside even when he wore his human skin. So far, they have only been kind. If they meant to hurt us, they could have already many times over. CeCe trusts them, I can tell by the way she has been chattering, the way she relaxes in River’s arms. Like a weight has already been lifted from her tiny shoulders.

“Besides, we don’t eat people,” says River, then he smiles, “they cause us wolves bad indigestion.”

I laugh in spite of my efforts to keep it in. It’s not even funny or anything to laugh about. But the red-headed wolf has a way about him of putting me at ease. He grins bigger, flashing a mouth full of straight white teeth, no fangs in sight. Both of them look so human it surprises me. But I know what lives inside them.

“Our cousin Clay is a vegetarian,” Slade offers, “that’s just one of his many flaws though.”

I tuck a wayward, greasy strand of hair behind my ear, “I’m a vegetarian now too. So is CeCe. I’m guessing both of you have a plan on how to get us to safety. To start with, we need a decent meal, clean clothes, and a bath. Then we need to let our grandmother Jane know we’re alive. She must be worried sick about us. Think you can handle all that?”

River chuckles while Slade snorts.

“One thing at a time Little Luna,” Slade mutters, “first we have to get out of this damn swamp. Get on my back and no complaining.”

He turns around and crouches down in front of me. I’m certainly not happy about it, but I know I can’t go on my messed-up foot. It hurts too bad and I’m only slowing us down. The fastest way out of here is to let the wolves carry us out. Then I can get CeCe somewhere safe, get her fed properly, bathed, clean clothes, then down for a long overdue nap. Neither of us have had much sleep lately. So, for the sake of her, I climb onto Slade’s back without argument, and wrap my arms around his neck.

 It’s been a while since I had a piggyback ride. The last time it was Dad who carried me when the sand was burning my feet. That memory hurts, but it also makes me smile, to remember such a fun day at the beach. Even Mom had a good time and enjoyed herself, now I understand it was because she thought the bad monsters only came out at night and not on days with sunny skies.

Hitching a ride on Slade’s back turns out to be a good idea. Not just to take the pressure off my foot, but also because we make it to the border of the swamp far more quickly than we would have if I’d insisted on walking the whole way. CeCe has fallen asleep against River’s shoulder, poor little thing. I’m almost lulled to sleep myself by Slade’s steady footsteps and the sound of his heart I can hear beating through his back nearly as quickly as my own. I’m not afraid to fall off his back if I do nod off, because his hands are solid and strong beneath my knees, but it’s the swamp I don’t dare take my eyes off. I’m afraid that the bad wolf is still out here somewhere, waiting to attack, and I now understand the way Mom felt. The feeling of being afraid of every large shadow, or snapping twig, or rustling of the bushes. I grip Slade tighter, but I don’t dare give into the fear and close my eyes. I want to see the monsters coming.

“Are you sure he’s dead?” I say softly into Slade’s ear.

“He is. He didn’t escape our pack. You have nothing left to fear from the rogue. This I promise you.”

I’m not sure I believe him, but something tells me that Slade and River will keep CeCe and me safe, protect us from the rogue as they call him, and from anything else that lurks out in this swamp. I’m on the edge of a sleep my mind just won’t allow to come, somewhere in the space in between awake and something else. Perhaps it’s the reason why I feel bold enough to ask my next question.

“Do you even like me? Sometimes you won’t look at me at all and other times, you stare at me.”

I feel the way his breath slows, and body stiffens beneath me.

“It’s not that simple of a question,” he finally answers.

“Seems like a simple enough question to me.”

“There are things you don’t understand…. Wolves and humans have a long and bloody history together. We don’t always get along. Humans tend to fear us for our gifts and because some of our kind go rogue and hurt people. So, in return, they think we are all bad. They hunt us. So, it’s better if we keep to our own worlds and only interact when necessary.”

I sigh, “I guess you just haven’t met very many good human’s then. We’re not all bad or uncivilized.”

I can hear the smile in his words, “I guess not.  Now hang on tight, Little Luna and let’s get the hell out of this-”

“Damn swamp,” I finish for him.

I’m glad CeCe isn’t awake to hear me use bad words, or she’d probably tell me to wash my mouth out with soap like Grandma Jane used to threaten us with. Mom would make Dad put a quarter into a jar every time he said a curse word. Once, we used the money from the swear jar to get ice cream. I grin at the memory. I miss him so much it hurts. And I miss Mom too, especially now that I understand so much more about the things she went through. She was attacked by a wolf, and she was never the same, then years later he came back to kill her and finish the job he started.  I wish I again could tell her I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused and the mean things I said.

River laughs, “We’re already being a bad influence on you.”

I don’t admit I’ve heard much worse words and saw things that make me blush on the scary movies I like to watch. I’m not a little kid. And I also know what Luna means, even though Slade probably doesn’t know I do. I’ve watched lots of movies and TV shows and I know plenty about werewolves. Luna is the highest female in a wolf pack, and the Alpha is the top-ranking male. The other members are betas, or omegas.

I like that Slade calls me that, Luna’s are listened too and respected, they give orders. They are second only to an Alpha.

“Are you an alpha?” I ask the wolf that carries me on his back.

He and River burst out laughing like I’ve just said something hilarious only I don’t get the joke. River laughs so hard he has tears in his eyes, and he wakes up CeCe. She gives him a startled, sleepy look, so he rubs her back, and calms himself down, until she settles against his chest again.

 I would cross my arms if they weren’t currently wrapped around Slade’s neck.  Maybe I should squeeze him a bit harder since their laughing at me and I don’t know why.

“What’s so funny?” I demand.

 

River nudges Slade with his elbow playfully, “Slade here, is at the bottom of the pack. He’s hardly more than a cub himself.”

I scratch at the latest mosquito bite on my arm and narrow my eyes at the redheaded wolf, “Where are you in the pack?”

Slade smiles and I decide right away he has the best smile. It’s kind of crooked and I like it. It makes my stomach go all fuzzy.

“Riv is stuck in the boring, average middle. And I’m not at the bottom, I’m not an omega, thank you very much.”

I don’t entirely understand how their ranking system works, but I do know Alpha’s have to fight for their spot. And they can get challenged by other wolves and if they lose the fight, the victor becomes the new alpha. And that when wolf’s turn eighteen, they can find their mate, and their destined to be together. Wolves tend to only mate with one wolf for life. I wonder how the females in the packs are ranked and I guess the cubs don’t get a rank until they grow up. I know these two are cousins, but they don’t look anything alike.

“Okay, third from the bottom then,” River amends.

“How many members do you have in your pack?” I ask, with many more questions where that one came from.

“We can’t give away all of our secrets,” River smiles.

“You’ll soon learn our ways,” adds Slade, “when you both come to live with the pack.”

I huff, “Why would we live with your pack? We’re humans and you say we aren’t allowed. Besides Grandma Jane will take us in.”

I don’t like the look of pity River gives me, “Sloane, it’s not safe for Celeste to grow up in the outside world. And we wouldn’t want to split you two apart.”

Now I’m the one to laugh, “My sister is a human. She doesn’t belong in a wolfpack, okay. She’s never grown fur and howled at the moon.”

Even as I say those words, I feel my own doubts creep in. The way her eyes glowed in the dark, the way she could walk better in the swamp than I could, the way the bugs didn’t seem as attracted to her. And then there was the things Mom said on the night the wolf killed her. I don’t believe the crazy rogue, but I believe Mom. She said the wolf forced himself on her, attacked her that night all those years ago, and then she found out she was pregnant with CeCe not long after. Mom and Dad didn’t go to the hospital for hours after CeCe was born in our bathroom. And she doesn’t hardly ever get sick, and they keep her away from doctors and stuff as much as possible. Suddenly I feel sick. My head hurts and so does my heart.

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your sister is a wolf. She’s too young to change yet, but when she’s older she will shift into her wolf skin and run with the pack beneath the moon. And when that happens, it won’t be safe for her out there until she learns to control it,” explains Slade.

This is all too much to take in. My sweet sister turning into a monster in the moonlight.  Living with a werewolf pack who doesn’t like humans much. My brain hurts.

“I…I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Let’s just get out of this damn swamp.”

I don’t talk anymore and neither of the wolves make me. The rest of our journey out of the swamps is filled with its natural sounds, the rustle of the trees in the breeze, the chirps of crickets, songs of the birds and the bullfrogs. Even when CeCe wakes up from her short nap, she senses the darker mood and keeps to herself. She sucks her thumb and on the berries River picked for her.

Finally, up ahead, after what feels like a million years, we see a break in the trees, a field of high grass, the sounds of traffic. Civilization. I could kiss the ground, happy to be out of those woods. Slade slides me off his back and sets me gently on the ground. It’s a shock to my sore foot, though I’m glad to be on my own two feet again. He looks at his cousin.

“Stay here with the girls and I’ll go get the Jeep.”

Then the wolf is gone, sprinting out through the tall grass. A part of me is glad to see him go, but another part of me misses him already. I don’t understand it. I just met him, and he’s way older than me and I barely know him, so I can’t possibly be developing a crush on him already. Puppy love, Mom called it when I would tell her about the hot celebrities on TV or the cute middle school boys out on the fields at gym class me and my friends talked about.

 But that tickle in my stomach when I think of Slade’s smile and his eyes, will never come to anything, even when I grow up, because wolves and humans don’t belong together. And I won’t ever forget the things a wolf did to me and my family. I look towards civilization. And I never ever want to see woods again.