Sixty four

ÇHAPTER 64

SANTIAGO

I would do anything to get away from her craziness. I tried putting the string in my mind together as I wondered how I got to be in the shoes I was in.

There was that feeling of confusion In my mind that was coming from the fact that I Still couldn't remember much about myself, at least not the main things.

Recently, my dreams we're still filled with mental pictures. I kept seeing the face of the woman that I had invited to the hospital a few days ago, the one that was acclaimed to save my life. For reasons I couldn't explain, her picture kept filling my mind.

And so when Martha had brought the topic of her up , the best way for me to escape was to walk away.

Now I was in the streets, with no destination in mind . I found that more peaceful than having to spend my day with her.

Deep down I still felt annoyed about how she had acted, I was still overwhelmed with that feeling of frustration that looked to take over every part of me.

Lights, I saw them everywhere… in my dreams, the streets and now streaming through window of the pub as it felt like

heaven was descending upon us, already I was on my second cup that I gulped down at once.

Reaching toward the other side of my pocket, I searched in it for some more cash and threw it at the table demanding for another glass.

The fact that predicament was pushing me to the extreme enough that I was becoming a drunkard.

One part of my mind argued that it was just a few cups, but with how miserable i was one wouldn't know how far i was getting till it reaches the extreme.

Something jack-knifed in my chest. It felt as though my heart and nerves were being filled with adrenaline as it sent an instant rush of relief through me.

I ran a hand down my face. Fucked! That was exactly how I felt with every moment like a heart-attack waiting to happen.

After leaving her there at the verandah I stormed out with the intention of clearing my mind regardless of if I was angry or not.

It took only a while to find this pub, that of course wasn't without the feeling that I was being followed. I had walked all the way looking over my shoulder occasionally.

With a woman like Martha, it was obvious that I was overdoing it . I knew very much that if there was anything she could do it would most definitely be every bad thing on the list.

Already, she had rang my phone twice wanting to know when I'd get back, that same had I ignored her calls .

Perhaps, I felt that I had too much to drink or the room got boring for whatever reason it was. I wobbled out of the pub to the streets that were getting darker.

I started a cross the trash-littered street and the shop's that were in a row to the old houses with lower windows, and worn out painting.

For whatever reasons, I found the whole scene soothing as I made my way to a bench while staring at the rows of shops with my gaze settling on one far enough .

It had taken thirty minutes to get over the drinks I had as once again my mind had that flash point to months again..

I wished I could say my mind had all the pictures I wanted but it didn't, some part of my memories were faded and it was that same forgettable memories I was trying to get back.

Frankly speaking, the past at this moment seemed like a shadow in my mind, the only thread holding it back there was reality.

While still seated, a hobo walked toward where I was and sat beside me on a green bench.

If there ever was a neon sign screaming at me to find safety or was right there, but for sw reasons I didn't make to move

It felt as though we had the same things running through our mind, we were both crazy with our individual deludes mindset, the only thing was I had a home.

"A beautiful day isn't it?" He spoke quickly and flashes a smile that sparkled in the sun.

I tried to reason what could be beautiful about the day for a man like him and couldn't come to any conclusion.

For the first ten, I turned to take in the view of this man who looked like he hadn't had a bath in days calling the day beautiful when I thought it was one of the most miserable days

The hair on the back of my neck rose as I caught him in my periphery, and I fought not to shift to the edge of the bench.

To me, I saw deeper into things, it was probably why I didn't see the man sitting close to where I was word's as being pointless, now with him stuck to my side. I wanted to know what gave him so much hope, I wanted it.

I didn’t want to bring more attention to myself so I asked without looking. "What is beautiful about this day?" I scoffed.

The man who appeared to be in his fifties, with blonde hair laughed as he did. I could feel the hair at the nape of my neck rising as he had a haggard expression that the years of staying out door can create.

"The day is always beautiful as long as there is hope."

"Maybe you should come work for me, I really need someone to cheer me up nowadays. "

" Waiting for someone?"

I shook my head, as a cold sweat drifted through me. “I had an accident recently and my mind is just messed up. "

He let out a breath of amusement, his gaze following the bird flying past us to their nest.

He might look dirty and unkempt but his knowledge brought light to the darkness in my soul.

"Are you my guardian angel or something?"

He sat back against the bench. “So, what do you think about that? "

"I dunno." I shrugged.

The man was about to speak but choked and started coughing. I was left startled as I really wanted to hear what he had to say

I looked to my side and other sides for water but didn't get it. Walking toward the other side of the garden where the shops were I made my way into a mall.