A late realization

Damian

The house was empty. Silent. Even though Omegas move around doing their duties, it feels silent without Lyra’s presence. It's not the same without her. It seems life has gone from this packhouse.

It had been that way ever since Lyra disappeared. Every corner seemed to echo with the absence of her presence, a void that I couldn’t seem to fill no matter how hard I tried. 

I should have been relieved. She had been nothing more than a duty to me, a marriage arranged by the elders, bound by tradition. I should have been glad that she was no longer a distraction. And yet, I wasn’t. I wasn’t even close to being relieved.

‘Guy, I hate to be the one to tell,’ Adol buzzed in my head. ‘But I told you so. I warned you about the way you were treating her.’

‘Oh, shut up.’ I shut him down even though I knew he was right. He did warn me. But I was too angry to admit it.

Sitting alone in my study, I stared at the glass of whiskey in my hand, swirling the amber liquid aimlessly. The memories of Lyra filled my mind, unbidden and relentless. Her smile, the way her eyes would light up whenever I walked into a room, the soft sound of her voice as she tried to engage me in conversation during dinner—each memory gnawed at me, relentless in their assault.

And I had ignored her. Pushed her away. Every time she had tried to connect, I had shut her down, dismissing her efforts as nothing more than a nuisance. I treated her kindness, her attempts to please me, as if they were obligations she needed to fulfill rather than genuine acts of affection.

I caught the smell of my beta as he approached my study. I wish he came with news of Lyra and my son. But as days go by, I keep losing hope of finding them. But I know they are still alive and they are out there somewhere. The matebond assures me of that.

“Alpha?”

I looked up to see my Beta, Rowan, standing in the doorway. He must have noticed the turmoil in my expression as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

“Are you all right?” he asked, concerned about lacing his voice.

I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “No, Rowan. I’m not alright.”

He came closer, taking a seat across from me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I hesitated, feeling a lump rise in my throat. I had never been one to express my feelings, not even to my closest confidant. But the weight of my regret was suffocating, and I needed to get it out.

“I’ve been a fool,” I admitted, my voice low and rough. “I treated my marriage like it was nothing, like Lyra was nothing. And now… now she’s gone.”

Rowan was silent, his eyes locked on mine, urging me to continue.

“I didn’t see her,” I said, my voice growing thicker with emotion. “I didn’t see what she was trying to do, how hard she was trying to make this work. She wasn’t a warrior, infact I considered her a weak wolf. But then she was… she was everything I didn’t realize I needed until it was too late.”

I closed my eyes, squeezing the bridge of my nose as I felt the sting of tears that I refused to let fall. 

“I treated her like a burden, when all she ever did was try to be a good wife. Her cooking, her smile, the way she tried to talk to me during dinner… I shut her down every single time. And now I would give anything to hear her voice again.”

Rowan leaned forward, his expression unreadable. “What are you saying, Damian?”

“I’m saying…” I paused, trying to find the right words, but all I could feel was the ache in my chest. “I’m saying I need to find her, Rowan. I need to find my wife and my child. I realize now… I miss her. I really miss her, and I was just too blind to see it.”

The admission felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders, but it also came with a new, crushing sense of urgency. If something happened to her, if she was hurt or worse because I had failed to protect her… I don’t know how I would live with myself.

“Do you think she left because of me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. The thought twisted in my gut like a knife.

Rowan sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t know, Damian. But it’s possible. She might have felt alone, unloved. You know as well as I do that your bond wasn’t what it should have been.”

I understand what he was saying. We were not fated mates but we could have made it work if I had given her a chance.

I clenched my jaw, the guilt burning deep inside me. “I should have paid more attention. I should have realized… I should have told her how I felt.”

“You’ve realized that now,” Rowan said, standing to come close to me. He placed a hand on my shoulder. “What matters is whether you can tell her when you find her. And you will find her, Damian. We will find her.”

“But it's been a year,” I said, my voice hardening with despair. “Are you sure we will still find her? That she and my pub are safe?”

“Of course. Don’t lose hope man,” Rowan said, hitting my shoulders lightly. “Trust the goddess, they will be fine. At least, from the mate bond you should know they are okay.”

“Yes, I can still feel her. But I want to see her and apologize for ignoring her all these time.” 

“We’ll find them,” he assured me.

“I won’t lose hope,” I said with a fresh resolve. “I’ll keep searching. I’ll find them. I won’t rest until I do. I don’t care what it takes or how far I have to go. I’ll bring her home, and I’ll make things right.”

Rowan nodded, a look of determination crossing his face. “That’s the attitude you should have. We’ll find her,” he said, shaking my shoulders again before taking his seat opposite me. 

“Anyway, here are the reports of the investigation you requested,” he pointed to a file he kept on the table as he took his seat.

“What investigation?” I asked

“Alpha, you were quietly investigating the death of your parents. And you asked me to cross-check…”

“Yeah, I remember now.” I grabbed the file he brought with him and started flipping through it.

“For a moment there, I thought you were no longer interested in finding out about your parents’ murderer.”

“Oh I am. Very much. It's just that the absence of my wife is affecting me too.”

“I understand,” he said, scratching his chin. “But alpha, there were many people that day. How will you know the exact person you are looking for?”

“I saw him. The one who murdered my parents. He had a mole on the upper part of his lips. I can recognise that mark anywhere. I remembered him clearly,” I said with a sad growl in my head. 

I remembered how he smirked at me before jumping out  through the window. I would have followed but I heard a moan from my mother and ran to her side holding her hand, as she breathed her last.

“Anywhere I see him, it's instant death for that wolf. He can’t escape me.”

“I get you, alpha,” Rowan said, patting my hand across the table. “You know I’m with you all the way.”

“I appreciate it,” I said.

“I have to go to the training ground. There are some new wolves joining us who need some induction,” he said standing up.

I stood up too. “Thanks man,” I said, giving him a handshake and a bear hug.

When Rowan left, I felt a surge of determination that I hadn’t felt in years.I opened the report he brought but my thoughts drifted to Lyra. She was out there, somewhere, and I was going to find her. I would make her see that she wasn’t just a duty to me, that she was my everything. And once I had her back, I would never let her go again.

I just prayed to the moon goddess that I wasn’t too late.

I started reading the file and something caught my attention. Someone resembling the wolf I recognised has been sighted in Crewwood pack.