You already know where to find me, Ash. You already know.
I wake up gasping for air.
Mia’s fleeting voice rings in my ears, her final words an echoing whisper that fades into silence.
I can’t hear the wind or the rain anymore. The storm must have passed.
Wan starlight shines through the window – it’s still dark outside, probably a few hours until sunrise.
I don’t have much time.
I slip out of bed, shivering as it dawns on me that I fell asleep wearing my rain-soaked silk dress. I’m in too much of a hurry to get changed into something warmer, so I pull the cream-colored chunky knit blanket off the end of the bed, and wrap it around myself before slipping on a pair of flats.
As quietly as I can, I open my bedroom door, and creep stealthily down the passageway, sure that at any moment one of the old wooden
Three days have passed since the night of the storm.The boys and I have slipped back into our normal routine – songwriting and recording from early morning to late at night, suppers around the kitchen counter, Alastaire and Ben drinking their body weight in champagne while Felix and Elliot look on disapprovingly, Lyall nagging me (sweetly) to sing for him.No one seems to know about me sneaking out of the cabin three nights ago to visit Mia’s grave, or my too-close-for-comfort experience with Alastaire on the living room floor.Even the puzzling events earlier that evening – Kitty and Felix and I getting stuck in an infinite loop between my house and the forest, the empty, darkened streets, the mysterious way that the trees seemed to open up before us as we walked through the storm – all of that feels so distant and irrelevant that it might as well have been forgotten.And tha
I fall asleep with gran’s poetry book in my hand.As I drift off, the events of the past few days swirl through my mind like pictures made of smoke, wispy memories plucking at the edges of my consciousness.The hungry look in Cameron’s eyes as he cornered me in the back alley.Felix holding me in his arms in the pouring rain.The storm.Alastaire pulling me from the recording studio then almost kissing me in the study.Finding the book of poems once owned by my gran.The pain in my chest like something sharp and cold plunging into my heart.The same pain I’m feeling now, the searing ache pulling me up, up, out of my dreams, into the light….I bolt upright in bed, clutching my chest with both hands. My heart is racing, and I bl
“Perfect timing,” a voice like warm velvet growls from an open door across the hallway. “Come on in, Cupcake. Join us. I like your outfit, by the way.”I turn around slowly, imagining Alastaire sprawled out on the bedroom floor, lying nude on a polar bear rug with a red rose between his teeth, surrounded by a harem of naked girls he somehow smuggled into the cabin. That’s what the sultry ‘come hither’ tone of his voice brings to mind, anyway.The reality isn’t quite that, but it’s pretty close.Alastaire’s sitting on the edge of his bed. He’s wearing slouchy grey sweat pants, but he’s naked from the waist up, and I catch a glimpse of his chiseled chest and toned arms, a beautiful light tan despite him spending the past month in the eternally gloomy shade of the forest.He’s drying his head with a towel, and I feel a lump ris
Knock. Knock. Knock.An insistent tapping against my door wakes me up from a dreamless sleep. The last thing I remember before passing out was staring at the book on my bed, page 63 ripped out by some mystery intruder while I was in Alastaire’s room.How long did I sleep for? Is it morning yet, or is it still the middle of the night?The room is pitch black, so it must still be dark outside.I reach for the lamp on my bedside table, knocking over a mason jar filled with fairy bells and lily-of-the-valley in the process. I swear under my breath, wishing that just for once I could actually get a decent night’s sleep.I tap my hand around blindly on the bedside table, but the lamp switch has probably fallen down behind the bed.Damn.
I'm struggling through darkness.Far from all light, and love, and life.Death has swallowed me whole.Gasping for breath, I struggle against the black embrace of the ocean, bindings of frozen ebony velvet that hold and smother me, pulling me down, down, down.Far below, the bus falls through the shadows; far above, a maelstrom of shattered glass dances through the water.My body is tired.Thrashing wildly against the tide, I gasp for breath, and take in a lungful of burning saltwater.As I choke, their faces emerge out of the gloom.One by one, like drowned silvery moons, the pallor of the drowned.A girl with a shard of glass embedded into her eye socket; a boy with half his face missing. Ms. Blyth with a gaping hole in her throat. Mia
It’s midmorning by the time we arrive at the entrance to the Oswald West State Park.Unsurprisingly, there are a few other cars in the carpark – it’s a popular area after all, a suggested daytrip mentioned in just about every Oregon travel guide on account of the magnificent scenery and countless hiking trails.At least the beach probably won’t be crowded – Smuggler’s Cove is a popular surfing spot, but it’s too far from Portland for casual beachgoers. Alix mentioned it to me one time. He said Smuggler’s Cove has the best waves along the whole coast, and there’s meant to be some sort of waterfall cascading down into the ocean on one side of the beach.I always thought it sounded nice, but I never really imagined myself coming here to check it out. Not after everything that happened.The parking lot i
It’s too late to hide.Alix and Zee are standing just a few feet away, their surfboards towering over me as they stare down in disbelief.“I thought you were visiting your aunt in New York for the summer,” Alix says, his voice barbed. “What’s going on?”“Ash? You know them?” Kitty asks, dropping her nail polish in the sand as I scramble to my feet.Zee tries to say something, but Alix cuts her off.“No, let Ash speak for herself,” he says.“It’s complicated,” I say. “I can explain.”“Damn right you’re going to explain,” Alix says.Before I can speak, I feel a hand on my shoulder, gently pulling me back. Alastaire steps between Alix and I, his sun-dazed champagne stupor gone in a flash.“And who exactl
“And that’s how I ended up vomiting in Madonna’s handbag,” Ben says proudly, while Alix slaps him on the back, howling with laughter.The firelight flickers and dances around their faces, sparks flying in the air as they laugh so hard that tears stream from Ben’s eyes.Alix’s ultimatum to Zee of only staying an hour turned into two hours, then three, then the whole afternoon and late into the night.The availability of free beer and champagne might have something to do with it, plus the instant connection he formed with Ben.The second Ben heard that Alix was a drummer, they got talking about Keith Moon and Ringo Starr and techniques, and it was basically a case of insta-BFF.The rest of us have been burying Lyall in the sand, telling stupid stories, roasting marshmallows over the fire (even Felix) &
Time passes. Maybe minutes, maybe hours. I stir to wakefulness, rising up out of a deep and dreamless sleep. The room is dark. I can hear Felix’s voice, soft and muffled. He’s singing Déjà Vu. Where is he? I sit up in bed with a jolt, wide awake, trying to trace the source of the sound. It’s distant, yet somehow very close… far away, but definitely in my bedroom. In fact, it’s in my bed. Silvery light bleeds out from beneath my pillow, a soft glow seeping into the dark. I lift my pillow and I almost can’t believe my eyes – it’s my long-lost phone. It’s been missing for ages, since my birthday. It purrs softly in my hand, and in a split second I’m both relieved to have finally found it, and bitterly disappointed to realise that the singing
“Let go of me!” I hear Jade shout.It takes me a moment to make sense of the scene before me.The helicopter is hovering above us like a swollen obsidian dragonfly stirring the sky with metal wings, a rescue ladder dangling down, held by the scowling lady in black.She’s shouting “GO! GO! GO!” in the general direction of the boys.Kitty is half way up the ladder, her dress billowing around her legs.A huge man in a black suit is holding Jade back. Jade’s yelling Kitty’s name over and over, fighting to break away.For a moment Kitty stops climbing. She looks back over her shoulder at Jade, and I can see the pain written all over her face.But the lady in black looks up at her and shouts “DON’T STOP!”, and Kitty hurriedly turns her back on Jade and continues climbing, before disappearing int
“Nothing’s over,” Jade says seriously, turning to face Kitty with a solemn expression. “I’m getting you out of here. We just need to find someplace quiet. Away from people. Where we can figure this whole thing out.”“'’Tis too late for al' dat,” I hear a soft Irish accent right next to my ear. ”We’ll 'av ter leave.”I snap my head around, face to face with the pretty girl in the pink dress. The girl who is so unusually strong, and whose lap I’m sitting on. The girl with Lyall’s voice. Lyall’s soft brown eyes. Lyall’s gentle bittersweet grin I know so well, sweetly smiling at me right now.“Lyall?!” I ask. My hands move faster than my manners - I pull the glittery pink mask away from his face and over his head.“Surprise,” Lyal
They are upon us within seconds.The sound of screaming drowns out my thoughts, and I watch dazed as girls close in from all directions, their arms outstretched as they yell Felix and Alastaire’s names.The ground seems to shift beneath us, and the air all around us shimmers, vibrating with tension.A girl just a few feet away from me hold up her phone and takes a photo, and for a moment the flash blinds me, sending a sharp pain searing through the backs of my eyes.I tremble, the hysterical fangirl shrieks shuddering through my chest like the buzzing of a million bees.And as in any swarm, a queen leads the charge.Beth Donklin, our school’s undisputed Queen Bee, leader of the three B’s, Her Royal Bitchiness, is just a few feet in front of me.
“Felix,” I say, the sound of his name sweet as honey on my lips.“Took you long enough,” he says, pulling me closer. His crooked smile is wickedly dark, and I can just make out the scent of the forest on him – midnight pine, icy moss, night-blooming flowers.Mystical and arcane – a deep dark mystery that has me firmly in its grasp.“What are you doing here?” I ask, trying to detach myself from him, but finding that somehow, I’m unable to.I have no control of my limbs, and my hand refuses to unclasp his; my feet glide gracefully over the grass in a perfect waltz.“You really thought I’d miss tonight?” He asks.
A pair of gleaming yellow eyes. Bristling fur, black as coal.And a row of teeth like little white knives flashing towards my throat.I jump off the bench in a heartbeat, and I hear the sharp snap of the wolf’s jaws closing on thin air, in the exact spot I was a moment before.I land hard on my back, knocking the air from my lungs. For a second everything’s a blur; I see the stars swimming in and out of focus between the swaying tree branches above me.A shadow moves into my vision, blocking out the starlight.I need to move. Now.But before I can spring into action, strong arms are around me, wrapping me up, lifting me onto my feet.“Are you ok?” A familiar voice asks.It takes a moment for my vision to clear.I step back, ready to bolt.The face I see
The bright golden moon hangs low and heavy in the black sky.Jamie, Grace, Zee and I make our way from the Huntson High car park towards the lawns, where a large, colorful crowd is milling about on the moonlit grass.In the distance, I see turrets, and I recognize the plywood castle backdrop from last year’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It’s been reworked into some sort of makeshift stage, complete with amps and overhead lights.I’ll be on that stage in an hour. In front of all those people. Somehow I’m not even nervous. Just extremely, utterly excited.“Walk faster ladies!” Jamie shrieks, tugging Zee behind her. “We’re gonna miss the chance to see Alix getting kissed by all the moms and grandmas! Maybe even grandpas! C’mon! Hurry!”“E
Warm. It’s so soft and warm here.I’m curled up on my side, cozy as a caterpillar wrapped up a cocoon of velvet sunshine, sleepily waking up to greet the new day.It’s a new day.I bolt upright in bed, the events before I passed out rushing back to me.I was in a clearing in the forest with Felix. He kissed me. And he changed, or at least he appeared to – he became the figure from my dreams, the dark prince from Gran’s fairy tale.What the hell is happening to me? Was I hallucinating? Having some sort of vision?He called me a name – Odin or Onion or something – and then… nothing.It all went black.And now I’m back in my bedroom at home, far from the forest and the cabin and (hopefully) Felix.He must have carried me here after I f
Wait.My voice sounds hollow and distant, like it’s coming from far away. Felix hovers over me, a darkness dawning in his eyes as I speak.“Wait, Felix,” I whisper. “This isn’t… I can’t do this.”His dark hair falls in front of his eyes, and he pushes it back as he nods, releasing me as he sits up, leaning his back against the trunk of the tree we lie beneath.I stay on my back for a few moments, trying to catch my breath as I stare up at the canopy of brilliant bright red leaves overhead. As I watch, a single, delicate leaf drifts down, landing on my breast like a drop of blood.Felix reaches for it with a faraway look in his eyes, his fingertips leaving echoes of prickling electricity where they brush my skin.He holds the frail crimson leaf up into the silver moonlig