It's Wednesday, which means I've been here five days, but it feels like longer, so much longer and all because Cleo's dad has decided to make my life hell for the week he has me.
I could have left, maybe I should have, any normal guy would have, at least that's what Annabelle from my squad has told me the last two days, but I guess that means I'm not normal.
It's not even about Cleo anymore, it feels like it's a battle of wills because the more he pushes me, the more I'm determined to prove to him he won't win and now we're on the home stretch, with the end in sight only three days away, two days really since we actually leave Saturday morning, he's got two fucking days to break me. Good luck to him, he's not even got close yet.
"Thomas." Simon calls, a grin playing at the edge of his mouth a
"I'm starving. Come on in." Jenny grabs my arm as soon as I pull up outside their house. True to their word, they've come swimming with me every morning this week and although I start an hour before I tell them I do, just so I can get some serious training in as well, it's really nice to have them there with me."I've got pizza, chips, chocolate, crisps and drinks." Rae pulls into their driveway just behind me, with Danielle beside her and holds up two carrier bags.We decided to come back to Jenny and Priya's after swimming today. Their parents are at work so we plan to just hang about in their living room watching films, eating junk food and chatting. I feel like I've got to know them a lot better this week and it's nice, I'm pretty sure there's actual friendship there now, rather than just them feeling sorry for the new girl
I waited up for Jake to message me back last night after he'd seen Cleo was alright with Colin and in true Jake style, he just sent back a short "she's ok" message at first, only going into the briefest of detail after I asked what happened. So all I know is that she kneed Colin in the cock and Jake took her back to her friends, while his brothers took Colin outside and threatened him to stay away from her.I don't know how she feels about that or what Colin did that resulted in the kneeing incident, but it must have been enough to worry them, if they not only separated them, but escorted her to her friends.I'll have to ask Cleo later. It feels amazing to be able to say that, I'm so ready to go home, I've been completely packed since about 6am.Billy's the next one completely packed which some of the guys hav
I wake up with Luke wrapped around me, snoring against my back and the sun streaming in past the curtains. He doesn't look like he's going to wake up any time soon and he looks so peaceful I don't want to wake him, so I grab my phone and watch a film on Netflix while I wait for him to wake up on his own. He jolts and twitches every so often in his sleep, so I don't react at first when his hands start to move over my body, but when he starts to kiss my neck, I know he's awake. I lock my phone, slide it onto the table and turn towards him. "You should have woken me up." He says before kissing me, his hands making quick work of removing my pajamas. He sits back on his heels, smiling down at me, his fingers stroking patterns on my calves as he positions my legs either side of his beautiful muscular body. "So, what was it you said you wanted to do with me?"
That waste of oxygen just keeps appearing where he's not wanted, although to be fair to him, I can't imagine there's anywhere he is wanted.When I pull up in Cleo's posh little car, his head snaps up and I know he's too sober to just crawl away."Look a' y'now, I be' y'think you're somethin' now, bu' y'not." He starts shouting before I've even stepped out of the car. "I know wha' y'are and that's nuffin'. Tha's all you'll ever be.""You're wrong." Cleo comes to stand beside me which is cute, even if it's the worst thing she could do."Just ignore him." I tell her, guiding her past him, just in time for him to take a swing at me."Who t'fuck d'you think y'are? I'nore me. I'll sho' you." He shouts as his fist connec
I love camping! I used to go with my parents all the time when I was little, but we haven't been for years, so when Aurora invited me along on this trip with them all, I was more than a little excited."Have you had a load of sugar while I wasn't looking?" Luke laughs as I practically jump up and down on my seat while he follows the convoy of our friends to the campsite."I'm excited, don't mock me, grumpy pants." He laughs harder and I stick my tongue out at him, linking my phone to the radio and picking songs for us to both sing along. "Why don't you do karaoke with us? You've got a really good voice?""You want me to serenade you? Would it turn you on?" He winks at me and turns back to look at the road."Hell yes, listen to this guy." I search my phone for Kaleo
Something's going on with Cleo and she won't tell me what it is. She's being weird with me, distant, and then telling me there's nothing wrong, like I'm an idiot and I can't tell she's trying to avoid me.I thought maybe she had a thing for that guy that's after Jenny, Dane, because she spent the first day here with him and Billy's girl, but the last few days it's like she'll go anywhere with anyone as long as it's not me.It's pissing me off because I keep asking her what I've done wrong and she says it's nothing, so I can't fix whatever the problem is. The only thing she's still interested in doing with me is having sex, which is somehow even better, I don't know if it's because we're having to be creative and be as quiet as possible or what, but the orgasms have been explosive all week.We're going home tomorrow,
Alcohol doesn't agree with me, I knew I shouldn't have drunk anything last night, but I just kept going, I don't even know why. I was talking to Jenny most of the night, but then I don't remember anything until just now, waking up with Luke's arms around me. Even though I trust them all, I trust Luke, to keep me safe, I don't like the lack of memory, I need to keep control of myself better.Luke stirs in his sleep, pulling me tighter against him and mumbling my name. It makes my heart race thinking that maybe he could have feelings for me and that's why I know I have to end this little arrangement we've got going on. I'm drifting off into fantasy and if I don't stop now, he'll hate me and that will hurt even more.Brushing his hair back from his forehead, I indulge myself in studying his handsome face for a little while longer, his strong arms holding me so tig
I storm into my house, chucking my bags into the living room and knocking the coffee table across the room. Standing there, I watch as she drives away, angry about what’s just happened. She’s got feelings for me, I knew this would happen, it always happens, I shouldn’t have let it go on for so long. Breathing out, I try to get control of my emotions, then pick up the bags, pull the table back into the middle of the room and throw the dirty stuff into the washing machine. Flicking the kettle on, I get the mugs out before realising Cleo’s not here and putting her mug away. I take my tea straight upstairs because the living room suddenly feels too big and empty without her here with me, but everything feels wrong, like the house is somehow different, knowing she’s no longer going to be coming around.
"It's morning, it's morning, it's not night time, it's morning." Luke sings at the top of his lungs as we walk down the hallway from our room. "Shut the fuck up, it's five am, you utter psychopath." Jenny pops her head out of her room and glares bleary eyed in our direction, her finger jutting angrily with each word. "You might think you're scary, but I will stab you in your sleep if you keep doing this every bloody day." "Jenny, you look upset darling, are you not getting laid?" He smirks at her, ducking when she launches a shoe at him. "I hate you so much, why the hell did I agree to live with you all?" With a frustrated growl, she slams her bedroom door and Luke wraps his arms around me, chuckling to himself. "You're so mean." I giggle, pressing a kiss to his chee
I'm so fucking happy right now, it's unbelievable. I refused to let Cleo have a moment away from me all Sunday. Ok, I did let her piss alone, but only because she made me, locking the door to keep me out and flushing the toilet before she did anything so I didn't hear her. Apparently it's a girl thing which she only admitted, with beetroot coloured cheeks, because I had an inkling about what she'd done and teased her about why she had to flush twice. But other than going to the toilet, I kept her right beside me the entire day, jumping into the shower with her in the morning and standing right beside her when we brushed our teeth. Today is going to be harder though, we've got school and I only have one lesson with her. I feel a little crazy, as though now I've finally got her, I'm terrified something's going to happen to make her realise I'm no
One more night, I can't not do one more night with Luke after that. I know it's going to hurt tomorrow but it's worth it because I've never felt as much love for anyone as I do about him right now.That song, my god, I thought his voice was enough to have me melting, but coupled with that song, it was like he was speaking directly to my heart, my soul even and it was enough to make me forget there was anyone else in the room. If it wasn't for his mum grabbing him the second he got off stage I would have been a sobbing mess, begging him to be with me forever.We don't speak as we drive back to his house. He didn't ask if I was ok with going there and I didn't object. Maybe he wants me as much as I want him right now, I'd like it if that was true. Regardless, I'm a little scared to speak in case I break the spell we both seem to be under.
Cleo's avoiding me. I thought we were getting somewhere when she invited me around Monday night, even if she quickly rescinded that invite. I'm so ready to tell her I love her and want her to be my girlfriend but I can't get a single minute with her alone. At all.All week at school she's made excuses about having to work on this stupid project and then she's supposedly had to train straight after school each night, she doesn't answer the phone and I've been half expecting her to back out of my mum's engagement party tonight. Although she'd have to actually talk to me to do that and she's not said two words to me since she hung up the phone Monday night. So I'm heading over to hers, psyching myself up to bare my soul to her, maybe in an unplanned rush in the next few minutes if she's not coming with me.I could be about to completely humiliate
I've changed my hair five times so far and I'm still not happy with it. I've put make-up on, taken it off and put it back on again and now I'm staring at my reflection annoyed that I feel so nervous about going to school this morning.It's Luke. Just Luke.But this is the first time I'm going to see him properly after ending everything. I'm not counting Friday night's episode since it was so chaotic and I don't really know what that was about. It felt like a goodbye, a real goodbye, a final end to whatever we were doing.I need to get over whatever hope is still left inside me that spurted back to life when he asked me to still come to his mum's engagement do. After re-reading the messages I realised he only wants me there to keep up the pretence for his family, he even sai
I pull up outside my mum's house Saturday evening wondering if I'm making a huge mistake. I called Trevor this morning asking for his help and he seemed far too excited, but it's done now, I have to do this.Blowing out my breath, I take my hands through my hair and step out of the car. I'm fifteen minutes early, but he's doing me a favour, so I thought I'd start off on the right foot, except, by the sex noises coming from upstairs, I'm fairly confident he's not home.Or at least I hope that's not him and mum!The thought makes me shudder as images I definitely don't want to be seeing plant themselves at the forefront of my brain."Oh yes, yes, right there." Cally's voice echoes from above.
Elias doesn’t speak for a long time once we’re back at the table, just plays with his food while one side of his jaw steadily moves from red to black.“I’m so sorry.” I say eventually. He lifts an eyebrow, looking at me for further explanation. “I didn’t know Luke would be here, I’ll talk to him. He can’t go around punching people for no reason.”“This. I don’t blame you or even him really. I’d do the same if I saw Millie out on a Friday night with some guy.” He laughs, shaking his head at me and running his hand over his jaw.“That’s different, she’s your girlfriend and I’m pretty sure you’d find out what was going on before swinging your fists.” I sink into my chair, mortified about t
I'm existing, that's the only word to describe my life at the moment. Acting. That's another good one. Emily insisted I stay with them for the majority of this week, but she did allow me to skip school.Aurora came over the first night and questioned me like she's Judge fucking Judy, asking me multiple times about what happened with Cleo and getting frustrated with my reluctance to discuss it.She doesn't understand though, how could she? There's no doubt that her and Shane love one another completely and Shane's a great guy, he's got his shit together now. They've got plans to go off to uni together, then they'll get married, probably move back here somewhere and pop out a couple kids. Even when they fight, they know they love each other and so everything will be ok.I sound jealous and fuck it, I am. C
"Cleo honey, Aurora's here for you." My mum comes downstairs to the swimming pool with Aurora following closely behind her. "Sit down here, I'll get you some drinks and Cleo needs to get out of the pool anyway, she's done more than enough training."She directs the last comment in my direction, a lifted brow enough to let me know shes worried I'm overdoing it, but it's the only place I can seem to shut my mind off.Aurora watches me without saying a word while I climb out of the pool and wrap myself in a towel, perching on the chair opposite hers."Hi." I say, squeezing water from my hair to avoid her studious gaze."You going to explain what happened? Because we thought you were skiving and then it turns out you're just avoiding us and Luke's in an absolute state.