Valerie
“Why aren't you downstairs? Don't you know your parents and Alys are waiting for you?” He barked, glaring at me. As tradition stated breakfast within the pack house couldn't start without my presence. It was why I strained myself to wake up so early despite not being a morning person. Were I not in shock, I would have realized. “I…I'm sorry,” I stuttered, “I was just-” “Don’t make any excuses,” he cut me off, “Alyn just recovered from a cold and you're letting her wait for food? Come and let everyone eat.” I pursed my lips shut as he turned away, not even letting me speak. The shock drained away to a familiar ache and I smiled mirthlessly. Of course, the only thing that mattered to him was Alyn. I thought I was used to this, but somehow reliving this hurt worse, especially now. “There you are!” My mother huffed as I arrived, “The food is getting cold. Are you trying to make Alyn fall sick again?” I clenched my jaw. Alyn could eat anytime wished, just like my parents could if they were in their homes, but that wasn't the case. My parents insisted on coming to the pack house, the home that was just supposed to be for Tristan and I, for everything. With Alyn involved he'd practically given them a home here. If the tradition wasn't there, I had no doubt that they would have completely forgotten me. “Mom, it's okay. Don't criticize sister. I'm sure she had other things to do.” Alyn smiled gracefully. My belly revolted at the sight when her confessions and that smile remained firmly in my mind. “Don’t excuse her. She wasn't doing anything but being lazy.” Tristan said beside me. He didn't even spare another look my way. Still I sat down. Throughout the breakfast my parents would complain about one thing or the other they found as my fault. Alyn remained silent, defending me weakly only for more hatred to be thrown my way. Now I saw it clearly, how she easily put them against me, while pulling herself closer. I had even less appetite to eat the foods on the table. They were made to Alyn’s liking and my nausea grew. Looking around I saw everyone focused on Alyn. Nobody noticed me, or cared. Before I knew it I snapped, slamming my hands on the dining table before storming out. I couldn't take it anymore. I'd anticipated their treatment, but reliving it made things clearer. The moment I shut my room door I let myself crumble in tears Now I knew everything she'd done, but what would it matter? I'd always fought and done my best for the pack only to be belittled in return. It wasn't just her cunning when they never questioned her or believed me. Why did I sacrifice anymore for people who didn't care? Who couldn't even bother to be there when I took my last breaths? There was no fight when she was the clear winner. Either way I would lose and die miserable. Determination filled me.This time I couldn't let it happen. My death started with a small conflict, ironically instigated by Alyn with another pack. The solution would have been simple if they listened yet Tristan and the pack disregarded me. Not just her, the entire pack wasn't safe for me or my child. The solution was simple; I had to renounce my Luna position and leave the pack to become a rogue. I shut my eyes tightly. Rushing to my desk I quickly took out a piece of paper to plan. Life was going to be different, but it would be worth it. I had savings that I rarely touched, except for the pack’s sake. With that, I could start a new life and survive in the human world. Some cities bordered other pack territories, but I wasn't planning on being noticed. If I kept a low profile I could live peacefully amongst humans. Hope grew in my chest. Suddenly the door opened and I turned to find Mina there with a tray, “I know you didn't eat properly, so I made another breakfast.” she said, placing the tray on my desk. No doubt she'd heard of what happened at breakfast. The food's aroma made tears prick my eyes. It was blueberry pancakes, my favorite. “How are you feeling Luna?” she asked me. She was the first and likely the last who would ask that question. “Mina,” I breathed out. She was only a maid, yet had been the most loyal and caring. I could still recall in my hazy last moments, how she'd held me. She was the only person that truly stuck by me, who shed tears on my behalf. The vulnerability made me speak without thinking. “What do you think about leaving this place?” I asked. “Luna?” she gasped, I shook my head, “Nevermind. I was just having nonsense thoughts,” I quickly dismissed her before looking down at the notebook I scribbled in. The plans were rough but I was determined. I was going to leave. …. ‘It was time,’ I thought to myself, staring at the party I'd experienced before. I'd dealt with planning the anniversary party easily. Throughout the week, most of my time was spent on planning for my true goal. Now, decked in the same white and gold dress I'd worn the last time, I was ready. And I'd chosen this specific day for it. Spying a glance to my side, my heart ached. Beside me, Tristan leaned towards Alyn. Feeding her, laughing with her and comforting her. This was our anniversary party, yet he acted like she was his Luna, all in the eyes of the pack. There was nothing I could do to stop his blatant humiliation. I knew the murmurs surrounding me, all mocking me. Why was I his mate when he clearly favored her? Was it a mistake from the Moon Goddess? Why wasn't I pregnant? “It's been a year and the Luna hasn't gotten pregnant?” I overheard, “Maybe if she acted better we would have an heir by now.” a particularly loud snicker filled the hall. The whole pack tensed for a moment in complete silence. My heart ached even though I'd expected those words. Clenching my jaw, I stood up sharply, moving to leave. I wouldn't get far. Just like I'd anticipated, Alyn stood up beside me as though ready to comfort me. Yet as I twisted to face her she gasped. The wine she took stained her green dress and it looked like I was the reason. “Valerie! What have you done!?” Tristan barked out, standing up I smiled ruefully, looking at her shocked features. I couldn't believe I was once blind to how fake she acted. This was her plan, to discredit me even more despite everything already being in her favor. “No Tristan, it was an accident, Valerie didn't mean to.” She pleaded, turning wrapping herself against him. “Apologize!” He snapped, ignoring her words. My parents stood up and glared at me. ‘Wasn't it humiliating?’ I thought bitterly. He didn't hesitate to show who he really cared for, not even sparing me in front of the pack. In my past life, I'd argued that it wasn't my fault and nothing worked out. My parents ignored me and the pack only had more rumors, this time of my maliciousness towards Alyn. The only one who met me was Alyn herself, whining innocently that she didn't mean for it to happen the next day. This time though, it would be different. I smiled serenely before bowing my head. “I'm so sorry Alyn.” I said, As I looked up I saw the shock on their faces and Alyn's mask fall. Her plan failed. She'd expected me to protest, but there was no need to. Not when I had my own goal. Moving away from them, I turned towards the pack. “It seems like even on a joyful day like this, I keep on embarrassing the pack,” I smiled ruefully, “rumors seem to follow me wherever I go and even the pack I try to serve sees me as a burden.” The pack members stared in shocked silence like they weren't aware. Did they think I would continue to bear it? “So, I've made a decision,” I said, “the decision to leave this pack.” Lifting my chin, I smiled, “I resign as the Luna of the Eclipse pack!”Valerie Silence filled the hall. Nobody said a word as they looked at me. “What are you saying! Are you stupid?” My father suddenly snapped, making me turn back,“I've already thought over my decision father, mother.” I said before turning towards Tristan.“Alpha Tristan, I reject you as my mate. The Moon Goddess bears witness,” I said,Instantly, the bond snapped painfully, but I managed to remain still. The burning sensation lasted as I looked at him completely winded as he stumbled back.“What the-” he breathed out, looking utterly shocked. “I know it wasn't your intention to ever be with me. Not when your true love was by your side. I'd been a barrier to that, but not anymore.” I said.“The rumors were right. Our bond was a mistake from the Moon Goddess and I have to rectify that. Now you can be with the sister you wanted all along.”He looked dazed, like he couldn't understand my words, but I knew he would agree. ‘You never loved me anyways,’ I thought. I was a fool to keep o
Valerie I hesitated. If I refused, I didn't know what he'd do. But joining his pack… After minutes of thinking, it finally came to me. “No,” I finally spoke, making him frown before I rushed out “I won't join your pack, but I have an alternative deal.” He raised a single eyebrow, scrutinizing me but I persisted, speaking while hiding my nerves. Once I finished, he chuckled but I stayed firm. Even though I could tell it wasn't what he wanted, he finally nodded. “You make a fine bargain. Fine then,” he agreed, raising his hand to shake “Pleasure to work with you…Valerie.” he purred, I didn't reply, shaking his hands. The moment I touched him a sharp zing courses my senses. I couldn't barely process it as I let go, meeting his icy blue eyes. “Likewise,” I only managed to muster. As I left the hall my mind circled the sensation. Had I done the right thing? …. ONE MONTH LATER That day, I had set up an alternative deal, one that was enough of a compromise b
Valerie “Enough,” I spoke, using a tone that quieted them. I felt like I was a Luna again. Fighting the penetrating stare by my side looked away before continuing. “Lets resolve this issue.” As a mediator I was meant to listen before making my judgment. Both of them stated their case, the latter being one of the Beta's daughter getting injured by Alyn before a break was proposed. I was free to walk around as I thought over my judgment but stopped when I overheard murmurs from a corner. It was my former pack members talking. “This is so annoying. Alpha Tristan barely said a word.” one of them hissed which I frowned at. I noticed it and was equally confused. How did the man who supported Alys suddenly fall silent? “Is he still sick? The pack doctor didn't say there was something wrong with him though…” Someone whispered, making my ears perk up. “Alpha Tristan hasn't been the same since he suddenly fainted.” the other hummed, “It's been two weeks since that happened and suddenl
‘Impossible’ I wanted to say if my breath hadn't been caught. But it wouldn't feel true even if I wanted it to be.How else then, would he know that I died?I wanted to shove him away, but his hold was firm.“Valerie,” he called out his eyes in the same emotions.“Answer me. Why did you come here? Is Alistair holding you?” he asked, the same strange sad desperation written all over his face. This couldn't be happening.“No,” I breathed out instinctively. I wasn't answering his question, but the effect was still the same as he reared back. He looked hurt.But I couldn't care less about him. Not when I couldn't understand.Why? How did he know? Was this some sick joke from the Goddess?“You have to go. Leave me alone!” I finally bursted, pushing him away with all my strength. I stumbled in shock but quickly recovered. He still looked like he was in a daze.“Valerie.” he called out.“How do you know?” I snapped, frightened.“I don't…” he said, shaking his head, “I don't know how, but I
ValerieI twisted back as fast as I could to search for the voice. The moment I found the person all the tension left me. I knew I recognized that voice.He walked out of the shadows, his silvery blond hair glowing in the moonlight. As he approached us, I felt tense for a completely different reason.I felt him beside me, his gaze focused forward.“I asked a question, Alpha Tristan.” He said arrogantly, making me stiffen, “what are you doing here with my Advisor?”Tristan still looked pale, but I was surprised when his gait suddenly changed into something narrow.“I was talking to Valerie. My mate,” Tristan said, “Ex mate,” Alistair corrected, “you have no rights over her, so you shouldn't be cornering her in my garden. You do remember that this is my pack, right?”“Alistair,” I broke out, interrupting whatever they were going to say next. Both eyes turned to me but I focused on Alistair. I never said his name out loud in public, constantly deferring to his title, but over the past
ValerieI gaped in shock. I could barely feel it when my jaw fell.What?“Be my mate,”Alistair was still facing me, the same serious look on his face. He had to be joking. Only after a loud bout of silence did I recover. Laughter burst out of me , easing the silence. The sudden heavy weight had dissipated along with it. What was I thinking? For a brief moment panic had filled me for no reason before I could recognize that it was a joke.“That wasn't funny. Goddess, you gave me a scare for a moment,” I huffed, rubbing my palm on my chest. I still had to be careful. Although the stress in my past life hadn't done any good to my baby they still survived well until our death but even then I doubted this amount of shock was good either-“I'm not joking,” Alistair's voice cut me off, making my mind stop.The sound of a chair scraping against the floor and followed by footsteps before I looked up. He was walking towards me with that same serious look on his face.“Alpha Alistair,”“Alista
Valerie I looked out the window throughout the drive. Today had gone better than expected and way worse. I'd been finally able to help the conflict in the pack die. It should have been the end but I left more conflicted than I arrived. The entire day had been a rollercoaster and I was in the middle of it. What was I supposed to do knowing that Tristan somehow knew of our past life? Why did it even happen in the first place? Why did the Moon Goddess let it happen? And then there was Alistair who had just suddenly confessed and proposed to me at the same time. Throughout my time for the past month I'd never thought of him in that sense. Yes, I still felt uneasy about him but he had become an acquaintance and good partner. But as a mate? I bit my bottom lip. I couldn't even consider myself being married ever, much less to him. After leaving my pack my mind was set on living peacefully as a nobody. The initial plan had crashed with Alistair's discovery of me, but I adapted.
Tristan Three months ago “Alpha Tristan, I reject you as my mate. The Moon Goddess bears witness.” Her parting words echoed in my mind after the failed anniversary celebration. That same night, I sipped a glass of whiskey alone in my office, completely irritated. I could point out the day she started acting strange was after she stormed out of the dining room which she had never done before. I felt like something was different, not just in her actions but her. I pushed it away however. As far as I was concerned, thinking about Valerie was a waste of my time and she hadn't acted abnormally since then. Until today. The day of our anniversary. Despite the look in her eyes and the change I could sense, I still couldn't believe it. But on returning to the pack house it finally sunk in that she was telling the truth. All her belongings were gone along with that of her maids. I took another swig of whiskey. Her abrupt exit made the mood of the party unable to recover. I was l
Valerie“And then…and then one of them fell into the pool.” Sophia giggled against me and a smile reached my lips.“That sounds horrendous.”“Absolutely horrendous.” She snorted before devolving anymore laughter.We hadn't gone far this time, spending time in the garden at the backyard where I'd rested for several minutes. Sophia had kept me company, regaling me with tales of some of her entertaining moments. Another week passed in the blink of an eye. Yet unlike the first, things felt peaceful. “Are you looking forward to dinner?” She giggled. I smacked her playfully in response.Ever since that day I no longer took my food in my room. It felt like deja Vu to go down the stairs yet meeting Tristan alone at the other end. We would speak through those times with him either talking about whatever pack matters and I sometimes sharing my advice or talking about the flower shop over the past few months.Everytime, he would look at me in a certain way. A look that seemed to spell adoratio
Alyn I could hear them.The blue colors of the room surrounded me. Always there. Always taunting. Bitterness swelled inside me. I hadn't gone outside for days. All the stares, were too much.Once they would look at me with smiles, hanging on to my words. They supported me. I hated it.And it was all her fault.Their muffled voices rang through the room as they arrived. A few moments ago, they had come to my door assuring me to resolve things, to talk to Tristan.Now that they were back, they had to have some good news.It was night, so they no doubt thought I was asleep. Good. I leaned against the door, waiting for what they would say. It was quiet at first. Too quiet.It shouldn't be quiet.“Alyn made a mistake. It…it had to be a mistake.”Hope filled my chest. They were always so good to me. So easy.Always jumping to my defense. But that didn't matter. They were still on my side. If I could talk to them, shed a few more tears, they would make sure I spoke to Tristan. Then I
PRESENT DAY Tristan I swallowed thickly at the reminder. Facing her now, that memory felt like nothing.I still had no idea what she knew or remembered from that night, or the version of events Alistair had told her. Yet as she came to me in my office the next day, guilt swelled in me. I'd pushed her away as I'd promised myself, leaving no room for contact. There was a reason she'd left in the first place after all, and with me on the backseat of her mind alongside the trouble she went through she'd be happier off.The moment the door slammed in my office that day, I repeated those thoughts as if to convince myself but the regret had already set in.Her striking doe eyes pierced mine. I had been silent for a while now. Swallowing thickly, my mind raced. But else was there to say but the truth?“I was afraid,” I finally admitted,With three words, her brows scrunched in a look of confusion I couldn't help but find pretty.“Afraid of what?” She asked. “Afraid that by getting closer
FLASHBACK: THE NIGHT OF THE MATING CEREMONY AFTER-PARTY TristanThe celebrations had dwindled outside, but it was still ongoing. I sighed, resting against the couch from the bedroom. After everything that happened this evening, it was a better result than nothing.Many of the Pack representatives that spoke to me offered sympathies during the after party. Glad for what took place before I'd fallen into a sham marriage and even praised my ‘magnanimity’. To that I said something all across the same lines.“Valerie is the one that deserves all the praise”“If it wasn't for Valerie, I wouldn't be like this.”“Valerie helped me a lot.”At some point I was sure that they'd caught on that it was more than appreciation I felt. Every one from the different packs were more than aware of our firmer bond, her exit and how she was now staying by Alistair's side. It sent frissons of embarrassment through me on how obvious it seemed. Even glancing at her slightly from the distance made me melt. M
TristanI searched her gaze for anything that would tell me she was okay but her silence was enough to tell me she wasn't. Was she even listening?I forget the sudden glaze in her eyes right before I'd rushed in or the way she was near hyperventilating. Now, the haze was gone, yet she looked at me with a gaze I couldn't decipher. It took everything in me to not shake her if I wasn't afraid that it would do more harm than good.I didn't know what was more unbelievable, the things I'd heard or how fast I'd come here. I'd arrived only less than a minute ago after dealing with business at the border when the nearby guards told me that they had come here. I'd rushed here in the nick of time to know enough of why they came…and her.I swallowed thickly, trying to control my emotions.I'd thought I knew what it was like to be angry, but I'd never felt more enraged and repelled until hearing what her parents, the people who raised me, told her.And then her words, just before I stepped in?
Valerie ‘I should have expected this.’ was my first thought as I met the two of them. There were so many questions that came up in my head, one of them being how did they know i was here? That wasn't hard to answer even though my engagement with the outside world was limited , it would have gotten out in some way whether through the pack or the servants. Not to mention that my fainting had been public as well. There came the other question. Why did they want to see me? Any words I could say were choked up in my stunned state. My mother and father came closer. Close up, my mother's eyes glistened with tears. It looked like she had been in tears before. Had she been crying? Something in my chest tightened at the sight. A long borne feeling filled me to reach out to her and hold her, comfort her in s way I'd always wished to. And then she spoke. “Valerie, why did you do this to Alyn?” My mother cried out. Like an icy bath, I was drawn rudely back to reality. ‘Of course,’
ValerieStepping out felt like a breath of fresh air. Despite only recently being discharged, I couldn't care at the moment.So long I didn't strain myself, everything would be fine. Strolling around the pack city, several stares fell my way that I tried to ignore, yet the few that I noticed felt…different.I was used to the scrutiny and mockery the pack members gave me and could recognize it from a mile away. This? This wasn't it.“Excuse me.” I said after bumping into someone I recognized as but she only shook her head.“I should be the one apologizing, Miss Valerie.” The woman smiled softly before leaving. I couldn't help but gape as she walked away.Bewildered wasn't enough to say the least. After strolling for a while I found myself in a nearby garden area where I remained on a sole bench. Closing my eyes I let myself relax under the nightly breeze.I wasn't sure why, if it was after weeks of staying here and adjusting to the pack once more or this newfound freedom without any
ValerieI opened my eyes to a familiar mahogany ceiling and soft sheets I never thought I'd be in again. Here, there was no scent of antiseptic in the air. Gone was the faint hum of sterile walls.I wasn't in the pack hospital anymore but the pack house. In my old room.Only a few hours after daybreak I was discharged by the pack doctor who advised me to rest. Stepping out, Tristan was there leading me towards the pack house and spoke of how he'd moved my belongings there. I'd ignored him throughout, never saying a word.I shouldn't have been surprised that they moved my things here on such short notice. Yet waking up for the third time in a completely different yet familiar place made a strange feeling crawl up in me.There was no clear time before the drug would pass according to the pack doctor. It could take a week or weeks at best, all while I had to be careful to not move or be under stress to avoid exacerbating the symptoms.I sighed, feeling my stomach growl. I was hungry, yet
Valerie“Mmmh,”For the second time ever the lights felt too blinding as I felt myself come out of consciousness. The sting of spirits and antiseptic hit my nose before I even looked around. I was in a hospital room.Not just any hospital though. I could recognize the familiar walls of the Blue Moon Pack hospital any day from how much time I'd spent in it in my past life. My throat felt dry as I tried to swallow. One second I was fine and then…I'd…fainted.Trying to sit up, a wave of dizziness washed over me. I shut my eyes against the blur and nausea ‘Deep breaths.’ I repeated. Despite that I felt panic.What in Goddess’ name was happening to me? What about my baby?The feeling went away and just as I looked up only to see the door slam open.Alistair and Tristan barged into the room without any fanfare, looking at me in alarm.“Valerie,” Alistair rushed towards me, slipping onto my bedside and taking my hand. “You're awake. I heard noises from outside.” Alistair rushed out. Stil