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Loving a Clueless Man
Loving a Clueless Man
Author: Hiraya Cross

Chapter 1 – Homeless

Author: Hiraya Cross
last update Last Updated: 2023-03-24 04:19:52

She’s starving. She’s trying to save as much money as she can. She knew this would happen, but she was not expecting it to happen this soon.

Ciara Cabral was kicked out by her mother when she turned sixteen. Now, she’s homeless. She thought she has more time. She thought they would at least wait until her eighteenth birthday before throwing her out on the streets. Oh, how could she be so wrong? She was caught off-guard. She was unprepared.

She sniffed as she looked up at the dark sky. She was done crying. She shouldn’t waste more of her tears. Sighing, she looked around, making sure there was no threat around. She blew her warm breath on her hands, trying to keep herself from feeling the coldness of the night. Maybe she should start moving, the exercise would help increase her temperature but . . . she was too weak from thirst and hunger. It has been a week since her mother chased her out. Her mother packed her bags and told her to leave. She wasn’t expecting them to prepare a birthday cake to celebrate, but kicking her out without notice was too cruel. She has always known she was unwanted. Her father left her mom before she was even born. Ciara didn’t even know who her father was. No matter how many times she asked, her mom won’t say. Her mother hated her more because of her questions. She only thought that maybe, just maybe, he could provide support for her. That would be better than nothing at all.

Her mother started a relationship with a new guy, who lived with them in the house. They were planning to get married and start their own family, but they were not keen on including her. She didn’t like her mom’s boyfriend and the feeling was mutual. He would mock her whenever he was home. When she was trying to study her lessons for class, he would order her around. He also goaded her mother into giving her less money than she needed. Less for her, more for him.

It wasn’t a secret to her that they planned to run her off as soon as possible. She just didn’t realize it was this soon. In the last year, she worked part-time jobs to save up some money. When her mom found out, she gave her less allowance. She reasoned that since she was already earning some money, she could give her less. It exasperated Ciara to no end. She worked because she was trying to save money! That endeavor became very difficult to accomplish. Most nights, she would cry at the unfairness of it all.

She was in shock when they told her to go. The reality of it quickly sank in when she slept on the streets that night.

“Well, happy birthday to me.” She mocked herself as she tried to sleep lightly. She was normally a deep sleeper, but that might prove dangerous in this environment. Even asleep, she has to be wary of her surroundings.

She tried to stop herself from crying again. Why was life so hard? She still couldn’t figure out what she should do. She tried many things these last few days, but they were unfruitful.

Still, she won’t give up. She would continue trying. She deeply exhaled as she pulled her jacket tighter around her body.

Being homeless was hugely different. Sleeping outside wasn’t comfortable. She had short and shallow sleep. She would wake at the smallest noises. She was not resting well. Hygiene was another matter altogether. She had to find places where she can clean herself up. And then, she would try to look for part-time work. Odd jobs here and there. Showing up with her baggage didn’t help her case, but there’s no place she could leave them safely. People were less likely to hire her because of it, not wanting to be bothered by her situation. They probably think she wouldn’t be able to handle it and that she would probably ask for an advance or a place she can stay. They couldn’t provide those if they hire her. They wouldn’t even let her stay at the business premises after working hours. It’s a risk no one wanted to take just for a young girl like her.

In the last year she has been working, she drifted apart from her friends. Well, classmates. They weren’t too close for her to ask them favors. She realized now that she should have cultivated relationships with others. She felt bad at her reasoning, though. Just so she could ask them for favors? Not cool. That would make her a user. A fake friend. As for relatives, well, she has none of those.

The next day, waking up safe from another night on the streets, she tried to come up with a new plan. Should she find a place where she can leave her bags? Having them all day everywhere she went didn’t really help her chances of getting hired. But which of her classmates would agree to it? Do they miss her at school?

As the darkness was slowly chased by daylight, she started to get up. Her knees were feeling weak, she had to support herself by leaning against the wall. She exhaled deeply. She was not going to cry. She can do this. She still has a few bills left. And coins.

On her first night, she was more concerned about other people. She kept on moving. As long as there are other people around, she kept on walking. Late into the night, when there are less people, she would find a corner or a hidden spot with no one around. She would sit against a wall, prop her bags beside her, and pull out a jacket to keep her warm. It was hard. She felt sorry for herself and was envious of others. 

He has noticed her in the last three days. Initially, he thought she was only hanging out alone. He had his moments like that. Watching people on the streets when he wanted a break. Then, he noticed her bags. She hasn’t changed her clothes yet, from yesterday. She looked very young. A teenager. Renzo was reminded of his own teenage years, which he spent on the streets. It was hard for him, and he can only imagine that it would be more difficult for a girl. He has been observing her since yesterday. He’s a little worried. A girl like that . . .  a lot of bad things could happen. He hoped she’s not homeless, but it was starting to become clear that she is. At one point in the morning, she was no longer in her usual spot. He almost sighed in relief. Mid-afternoon, though, she was back on it.

Renzo took his time deciding what to do. He’s not really in a position to help a homeless person. Still, he was worried for this girl. With that much luggage, he figured she hasn’t been homeless for too long. His lip twitched. If he doesn’t help her, it would only be a matter of days before her luggage gets stolen. She’s lucky to have them until now. A few times, he glanced in her direction. He recognized the look of frustration on her face.

A few hours later, he went and handed her a brown bag. She stared at him before accepting it. There was a sandwich inside. He also gave her a bottle of water. She was so hungry she didn’t feel any shame in eating the sandwich immediately. She looked down as she took bites one after another until she finished it. She sniffed as she folded the brown bag, tucking it under her arm. When she tried to open the water bottle, she learned how weak the hunger made her. He took the bottle and opened it for her. She accepted it again and gulped the water down. Her hunger and thirst were eased.

“Thank you.” She suddenly remembered her manners and expressed her gratitude.

“How long have you been on the streets?” The man asked. Ciara stared at him, deciding he’s not much older.

“About a week.” She honestly answered. She’s not ashamed.

“What about your family?”

“My mom told me to get out as soon as I turned sixteen.” She didn’t think he would want to listen to the rest of that story.

“I have a place… if you want a roof over your head.” He straightforwardly offered.

He stated it with indifference. Ciara was surprised by the offer, but she’s suspicious, too. She’s not naïve when it comes to men. She knows what most men want from women. A stranger offering her a place . . . She bit her lip as she considered her situation and her options. She doesn’t have options, actually.

She stared at him, patiently waiting for her answer. He looked kind. It doesn’t seem like he’s a bad guy. And, as she noted earlier, he’s not much older than her. He’s probably in his early twenties. Should she take a gamble?

“You’ll let me stay at your place?” She asked, wanting to confirm his offer.

“It’s only a small studio. I’m not home most of the time anyway.” Renzo decided it’s best to let her know his situation. Maybe she won’t be too suspicious if he gave her more details about his living arrangements.

“If that’s fine with you, then . . . I’ll have to trouble you.” Ciara replied.

Renzo nodded. He thought it would take longer to convince her. She proved to be easy to persuade. He told her to follow him. The apartment wasn’t very far. But then, he thought she shouldn’t be too trusting. He decided he’ll lecture her later.

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  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 2 – Hopeful

    Ciara silently followed behind him. She stared at him with hope. She stared without blinking; afraid he would be gone if she did. After walking for a few minutes, she did consider the situation more carefully. She was a bit reckless, deciding within a short amount of time. She should have thought more. What are his intentions? Why would he help her? Was he expecting something in return? Would he . . .? She stopped her trail of thoughts, shook her head and caught up with him. Maybe now that she has a place to stay, it would be easier for her to get a few jobs. She mentally took stock of her clothes. Maybe she can wash her laundry tonight, at his place. Then, tomorrow . . . She stopped when he did, waiting for the street light to change. Tomorrow, she will be better suited to apply here and there. There are numerous places she hasn’t gone to yet.They reached his place within five minutes. As he said, it was small. He did say he only uses it as a place to sleep. There’s a bed on one cor

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  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 3 – A good day

    As silently as she could, so as not to bother his rest, Ciara cleaned up the kitchen. Afterwards, she figured out how to go about her laundry. When she was done, she sat on the couch. There were a couple of pillows on it. She inhaled deeply, savoring her good situation. She grinned as she positioned the pillows on both ends. She has a place to sleep, and oh, it was comfortable. She looked forward to a really good night sleep. She turned to look at Renzo. The man was sleeping on his side and she took the time to stare at him. It won’t be an understatement to say he was her hero. She previously did an essay about hero worship for a class homework. She could understand the concept better now.She went near the door to turn off the light and made her way back to the couch. There was a lamp near his bed, but she didn’t think it would be appropriate to turn it on. Maybe he doesn’t want it. She laid on her back and stared at the ceiling. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but it wouldn’

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  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 4 – New Life

    When she got home, she immediately prepared to cook. As the stew was boiling, she skipped to her drawer and looked for her little notebook and a pen. She turned to the last page she has written on. She was keeping track of her money. She kept subtracting from it this last week. She grinned as she added something today.Then, she heard the door being opened. She stood up to greet him.As Renzo opened the door, he caught a delicious smell permeating the air. With the lights on, he knew Ciara’s home.“Did you cook?” He sounded surprised.Ciara saw the package he’s holding. “Yes. You brought food?”She suddenly felt awkward. And before she could feel embarrassed, he grinned at her.He put what he brought on the table, “Let’s have a celebration. I’m guessing something good happened.” He went over to look at her stew.“Looks good.”“Thanks. I got a job today.” She immediately pulled plates to serve the food he brought. Roasted chicken and roasted potatoes.“Wow. You’re fast.” He praised her

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  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 5 – Friends

    “I heard you have a girl at your house.”As soon as Renzo arrived at the bar, his friend Todd asked that question. He raised an eyebrow. Are they keeping track of what goes on in his house now?“I came by this morning.” His other friend, Kyle, explained to him.He sighed. Nothing’s secret with these guys.“Just someone I’m helping out. She’s off-limits.” He gave them a side-eye for good measure. These guys string women along and leave them for whatever reason.“She looked very young. Cousin?” Kyle asked, as he nodded.“Something like that.” He figured it would be difficult to explain if he said she’s a complete stranger. These guys are nosy.“I thought you finally have a girlfriend. How long has it been?” Todd asked as he received a fresh glass of beer, passing another onto him.He only grunted as a reply. He didn’t need to be reminded of that history. All along he wasn’t looking for a relationship, much less one based on “love”, as they put it. Three years ago, he did meet someone. S

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  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 6 – Girlfriend

    The truth was . . . she didn’t know much about him. They have only known each other for a short time. Their interaction was limited. Ciara’s not sure if he’s the same with other people. Who knew if he’s simply hiding his negative traits from her? People like to pretend these days, no?She has this fear, that she would eventually discover something she doesn’t like. That maybe he’s the same as her mom’s boyfriend. Or her father, who couldn’t even be bothered by her existence. She has seen enough. She’s afraid he would turn out to be manipulative or abusive. Would she be able to leave his place at the first sign of anything toxic? She hoped the answer is yes.So far, she has no reason to believe he’s anything but what he’s showing her. She shouldn’t worry too much, especially when it’s practically baseless.One night, he came home drunk and he took his shirt off before going to bed. Ciara was startled, her heart beating erratically, but she recovered quickly when it became clear he’s al

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  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 7 – Hard Work

    No one would be able to discount Renzo’s hard work. Everyone who hired him for his services could tell you that he always does a good job and he’d been kind, polite, respectful, friendly… overall, a really good worker. No matter the personality of his boss, he’s amicable to anyone. He remained in contact with a lot of people who would possibly hire him again for infrequent jobs or projects. He gets a call or two in a week. He never runs out of jobs to do. But as majority of establishments do not hire for regular employment people like him who lack the educational qualifications . . . there’s the thorn in Renzo’s life. He had to make do.Sometimes, people would say he’s too nice. When he’s let go by a business, he wouldn’t say anything. He would accept it calmly. As he saw it, no matter what he said, no matter how hard he worked, he won’t be able to produce a diploma. So why does he still work hard? Recommendations. They do seek him out when they have a friend who’s starting a new busi

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  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 8 – Goals in Life

    It wasn’t long before Ciara saved enough money for her own things. She worked hard. She’s taking inspiration from Renzo’s diligence. There were a few mishaps with customers, but they were eventually settled. Some people do really act so entitled and privileged. She hoped not to meet more of them in the future.As for her interactions with Renzo, it hasn’t changed much. Except when she started attending night classes. She would rush home to cook and eat dinner hurriedly, before going to school. She considered getting the modules but figured she would learn more with actual classes. Whenever she returned home, Renzo’s already.She only got to eat dinner together with him on weekends. Sometimes, he would have a gig or two in a month. Given the limited time they’re together, she normally initiates conversations with him. Their topics mostly cover her schooling and her hunt for a scholarship, as well as their respective jobs, if anything interesting happened.When she finally graduated, Re

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  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 9 – Lecture

    “No, no. There’s no one. I wouldn’t even entertain it if a guy actually showed interest. I doubt I would even notice. I would like to focus on my work and building my savings. I don’t have time to date.” Shit. Her statements were like a double-edged sword. She has someone she likes and she’s saying all these to him. What in the world? How would he get a clue?“I mean, dating isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You just have to be careful when choosing whom to go out with. When you go out on dates, make sure the places you go to have a lot of people. And always tell someone where you are, just in case something happens.” His lecture continued and she began to look exasperated.“Really, I won’t be dating anyone anytime soon. I swear!” She even raised her right hand and promised him.“You can’t be sure. You might find someone you like. I’m just giving your reminders, just in case.”“I already have someone I like.” She ended up muttering. She froze before covering her mouth with her hands. Shi

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Latest chapter

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 36 – Wedding

    They didn’t rush it, though. Ciara knew now that he truly meant to make her his wife. She was reassured. And so, her being the thrifty person that she was, they scheduled it on Ranz’s second birthday.“Shouldn’t you want a different anniversary date? Or are you afraid I would forget our wedding anniversary?”Ciara chuckled, “There’s no point celebrating two different dates when we can celebrate them on the same day.”“But think about it, when Ranz’s older, he would wonder why his parents are nowhere to be seen after his birthday party.”She laughed even more at his insinuation. “I didn’t think about that.”“It’s a pity your birthday already passed.”“I think I’m selfish. I purposely wanted separate celebrations for my birthdate and our anniversary.”“Is that right?” He finally came to the bed after sendin

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 35 – Indulgence

    He took a deep breath as he held her hand. “Alright. Is that what you need? Would that make you feel better?”“Hmm.” She nodded before scrunching up her face.“What’s wrong?”“I’m not being silly, am I?” She didn’t really feel good about this situation, but she also needed to let him know. She felt burdened by it.“You’re not. I’ll see if I can get a leave. We’ll do it, then.”She seemed to be relieved upon hearing his statement.“But I still want you to indulge yourself a bit. Let’s go out for dinner tomorrow. Then, we’ll go shopping next weekend.”“Don’t be wasteful. We really have to save as much as we can. We have a kid we need to send to college!”His lip twitched before he let out a chuckle. “We have plenty of time to prepare for that. He’s barely two years old.”

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 34 – New Place

    They got the house and they moved in a month later. Aside from their family, they both became busy with their respective things. He remained focused on his job, whereas she began studying for her degree. It’s been a long while since she last held a book and read for hours. When she attended her classes, she was nervous to meet her professors and classmates. They kept asking her why she chose the flexible learning delivery. She had to explain she has a child at home. They didn’t say much after that. College students are infinitely more mature than high school students. Well, there were few but most were focused on learning. She was afraid she’ll get bullied for being old, but no. They were actually respectful to her. They treated her as an older sister. That made things easier for Ciara.The first semester was difficult to navigate but she managed to adapt halfway through. She continued to be supportive of Renzo. That guy was clearly pressured at work so she

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 33 – Celebration

    The next day, he quickly asked Ciara if she wanted to take a morning-after pill. Her reaction was similar to his. Her eyes widened in shock.“Go and get one!” She shooed him away so early in the morning after consuming hot coffee. He doesn’t mind, though. He leisurely walked, meeting people he knew and exchanging greetings with them.For the remainder of the day, he was mostly resting. At night, they spent another passionate union. He was feeling very relaxed up until Ranz’s first birthday. He and the boys were busy arranging tables and chairs in the garden. The landlady was kind enough to watch over the kid as Ciara prepared some of the food. The rest were simply ordered, like the cake and the dessert.Overall, it was a meaningful celebration. They made sure Ranz was the center of it, meeting all his friendly aunts and uncles. He got plenty of gifts, too. They all had fun and the kid was surprisingly very active. He only felt tired a cou

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 32 – Surprise

    Ciara stared at the door with trepidation. Is someone trying to break in? She reached out and ensured the locks are in place. She grabbed the phone and readied herself to dial the police. She thought of Renzo, realizing how scared she was in that moment. She hoped she was just hearing things and no one was outside. Her eyes constricted when she heard a cough. Please, no. She pleaded in her mind. Just go away. “Ciara? It’s me. Can you open the door?” Renzo decided there’s no other way to do it.But she frowned. Is she still hearing things? That voice sounded a lot like her boyfriend’s.“Renzo?” She called out without moving an inch. Her hand gripped the phone. She should call him to check if it’s really him outside. But why would he be outside? He didn’t say he’s coming. He was scheduled for next week.Was she dreaming? Was she missing him too much that her mind came up with this scenario? He’ll be home soon enough.“It’s me. Open the door.” He replied in a low tone, not wanting to wa

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 31 – Ice cream

    The next day, Kyle and Todd showed up again. Aside from groceries, they also brought some sweets and ice cream.“What’s the occasion?” She invited them in, and they actually entered the place. This surprised her a little.“Well, your man called. Said you might need some cheering up, so . . . ice cream!”Ciara chuckled as she took out some bowls and spoons. She noticed how Kyle didn’t close the door so she kept it that way. The morning sunlight was nice.Todd went straight for Ranz.“Isn’t he getting chubby?”“Well, all he does is sleep, eat and play. He would cry when he doesn’t get his fill of the milk, it’s making me a little worried. Should I give him less?” She almost wanted to laugh at seeing their horrified expressions at getting asked. What do they know?“Uh, should I ask a doctor? It’s fine for babies to be a little chubby, no? Just don’t let him become overweight. Do you know how much he weighs?”“I don’t know. I just know his weight when he was born. Should I get a scale?”“

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 30 – Return

    She actually cried when he came back and he was quick to reassure her.“I’m here now. You shouldn’t cry.” He himself was worried. They’re first-time parents and didn’t know much about raising a child. She must be stressed taking care of their son alone.He hugged her for almost half an hour in the doorway before they heard Ranz crying awake. He travelled very early in the morning, hours before dawn, allowing him to reach home around eight o’clock. Ciara quickly wiped her tears and scrambled to check on the baby. Renzo wasn’t sure what to feel. She was quite dedicated as a mother. He followed her inside the house and was feeling immensely happy to see his family, the two most important people in his life. He would do anything and everything he can for them.“Have you made breakfast?” He suddenly asked, which startled Ciara. She was sitting on the bed, holding Ranz and comforting him.“I’m sorry. I haven’t yet. I’ll get you coffee.” She looked guilty and was about to get up. He reached

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 29 – Assurance

    “What’s wrong?” He noticed her tears. He went over to check on her. She hugged him by the waist.“I love you.” It was a pity she couldn’t put into words just how much she loved him. She would never let him go.Renzo smiled, holding her and pressing a kiss on top of her head.“I love you, too.” It might be unfair to her, but there were moments he would feel doubtful. He knew he shouldn’t but his mind still entertained such thoughts. He knew not to voice them out, of course. It would just hurt her and he didn’t want to do that.Sometimes, he can’t help feeling scared and helpless. They might love each other now, but what if things changed? Though she assured him plenty of times, the seed of doubt remained. He did feel guilty about it and he’s making sure he didn’t slip. What would she say if she found out? He already knew it wouldn’t be good. Every day, he would try to focus on the present and stop worrying about what-ifs.Months later, Ciara gave birth to a very healthy little boy. The

  • Loving a Clueless Man   Chapter 28 – Worries

    When they returned home, Ciara noticed him acting a little odd.She couldn’t help laughing out loud when he finally voiced his concerns.“Would you be tempted to choose a millionaire over me?”She sobered when she recalled that it was his insecurity. That damned Cheryl.“No. I’ll choose you over any millionaire.” She kissed his lips, but he pulled back.“How about a billionaire?” He looked cute, though exasperating.“Still you.” She kissed him again and he responded intimately this time. She smiled. He’s easily convinced these days. If this was before, he’ll probably be questioning her for a while longer. Maybe now he knew she truly loved him and would choose him over anyone else.They already agreed on a date when to get married. She’ll have to process the paperwork as he’s busy with work. They now have a regular schedule on going out and having dates

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