Share

78

Author: AminaSb
last update Last Updated: 2024-11-12 21:50:16

People have no clue what real pain is. Some say pain is heartbreak, and I think that’s stupid; some say it’s letting go of someone you love, and as much as I believe it hurts and mentally drains a person, I don’t think it’s the real definition of pain.

To me, real pain is losing someone you lose by fate, not by death. When you lose someone through death, you don’t get to see them anymore, and as much as that hurts, over time, it tends to fade. You learn to adapt, to create a new normal, even if it’s filled with an empty space where they once were. But when you lose somebody by fate, it’s a whole different kind of tragedy. You have to watch them continue their lives, thriving and moving forward while you feel like you’ve been left behind, paralyzed in your own grief. They don’t get to be the one who dies; you become the one who feels dead inside, trapped in a state of longing and despair. What other pain can compare to that feeling of being alive yet feeling utterly lifeless?

I stood
Locked Chapter
Continue to read this book on the APP

Related chapters

  • Loving The Mafia King   79

    ~ RICHIE’S POVSome decisions feel like the worst, but they can actually turn out to be the best ones in the long run. It hurts so deeply that you feel an instinct to pull away from it all, but that pain is far more bearable than the lingering agony you would carry for the rest of your life. I had to make the incredibly difficult choice to let Rachel go. It’s not something I wanted to do, but it’s a necessity; we both understand why. For us to truly embrace a life of freedom, we had to take this painful step apart.Rachel was right when she said it was unusual for me to just end things, but given the circumstances we found ourselves in, I had no other option. The intensity of my hurt is staggering; I don’t think I’ve ever felt this level of emotional pain before, even during the times Rachel was far away from me. I guess it’s because, despite the toxic situation we were in, I held on to a flicker of hope that things could improve, and now that hope has vanished. There’s nothing more e

  • Loving The Mafia King   80

    When my men broke the news about Rachel, I was hit with a deep sadness, feeling like it just couldn't be true. I remember back before Rachel and I met, and way before the whole mess with Papa and Ezra, I was desperate to know more about her. I needed to uncover every detail because learning that her name wasn't actually Rachel and that she was tangled up in the mafia world completely messed with my head. I wasn't trying to turn things against her—no, I'd never do that—but I was just trying to understand who she really was and why I felt so utterly lost.That day turned out to be one of the most chaotic of my life. Not only did I discover that Papa had been lying to me all along, but I also found out that the woman I wanted to marry was someone entirely different from the person I thought I knew. She was unrecognizable, a stranger in a way, and it shook me to my core. She wasn’t my Rachel; she was Delilah, the daughter of the Russian mafia king, the very woman whose mother I had shot.

  • Loving The Mafia King   81

    ~ RACHEL’S POVIt’s been a week since Richie and I parted ways and ever since then, my heart has been in curial pain. I just can’t seem to shake the feeling of emptiness swirling inside of me. My heart feels completely disconnected from my body, I can’t do anything at all without having to think of Richie and wondering if I should reach out to him again. I’ve tried reaching out to him; I called, but it just wouldn’t go through, and when I texted, it didn’t deliver. I know he specifically asked me not to contact him, but I can’t help but feel this overwhelming urge to reach out, especially since I feel like I have no purpose anymore. It sounds a bit crazy, but without Richie, I feel utterly lost. Since I was sixteen, my life has revolved around him—whether I was loving him or hated him. But now that it’s neither, I’m left with this void, and I honestly don’t know what to do with myself.I feel so insecure about who I am without him. It’s hard to believe I let one person dictate so much

  • Loving The Mafia King   82

    Hours have turned into days, and days have turned into weeks. Today is finally Rebecca’s rehearsal dinner, and I can hardly contain my excitement for her! She’s radiating happiness as she prepares to marry the love of her life. It’s so evident how deeply she loves Andre and the way he looks at her shows that he feels the same. They truly seem like the happiest couple, always stealing glances and sharing sweet moments together.Right now, I’m in Rebecca’s dressing room, soaking in the atmosphere as she gets ready for the big night. I’m sitting back in a cozy chair, eagerly waiting for her to step out of the closet where she’s putting on her dress. As her bridesmaid, it’s my duty to ensure everything is perfect for her and that she gets dressed on time. While she’s busy with her preparations, I take a moment to check my outfit in the mirror—I didn’t have the chance to do that earlier since I was so focused on helping Rebecca. I’m wearing a lovely blue dress that falls gracefully below m

  • Loving The Mafia King   83

    For several long minutes, I find myself sitting alone, observing as Rebecca and Andre navigate the room, their faces lit up with joy as they thank each guest for being there to celebrate their special day. It warms my heart to see them so happy, especially Rebecca. After all those years of feeling alone, she now stands surrounded by a large, loving family who embraces her wholeheartedly. I can’t help but notice how Andre’s mom stays close to Rebecca, her kindness radiating as she showers her with affection—it’s such a beautiful sight.I've never witnessed Rebecca radiate this level of happiness before. It’s a bittersweet reminder that while love didn’t work out for me, it has flourished splendidly for her. The sheer joy in her eyes and the way her smile lights up the room fill me with warmth and make me smile in return.As I continue to watch her bask in the moment, my attention suddenly shifts when a man approaches me. He appears to be in his early thirties, with a muscular build and

  • Loving The Mafia King   84

    Zoran comes back with my drink, and he, Arthur, and I dive into a conversation about life and how much we miss the carefree days of childhood. I have to admit, my day isn’t going as terribly as I initially thought it would. Don’t get me wrong; I’m genuinely happy for Rebecca—she seems to be living her best life right now. But I can’t help but feel like today could have been one of the worst days for me, especially with Richie on my mind and the memories that keep swirling around.As much as I hate to admit it, I honestly feel pretty great since I met Arthur and Zoran. We’ve been chatting back and forth so much that I haven’t even had a chance to think about Richie, which is a relief. I really want to move on and leave those thoughts behind.The more I talk to Arthur and Zoran, the more I realize how smart and insightful they are. They’re genuinely nice guys, and I think Rebecca is incredibly lucky to have them as her brothers-in-law. They bring a fun energy to the conversation—maybe a

  • Loving The Mafia King   85

    Her words hit me to the core; they resonate deeply, and I realize she’s right. There's so much that goes unspoken in relationships, and it often carries the heaviest weight. Yet, I can’t help but wonder what she really meant by that. "Wait, did something happen between you and Andre?" I ask, curiosity bubbling up inside me.She shakes her head slowly, her expression serious. "No, nothing happened, but I’m just trying to make it clear to you that love is hard.""Well, it shouldn’t be hard," I say, feeling a mix of frustration and confusion."It needs to be hard," she replies, her voice steady. "In fact, I think love is one of the hardest things because you go through so many emotions. Hurt, joy, pain, confusion, misery, and more pain. Love is nothing without pain… the people you love the most will be the ones who hurt you the most.""What if they don’t hurt you?" I ask, my mind racing with possibilities."They will… they always will. You just have to understand that some pain comes wi

  • Loving The Mafia King   86

    The rehearsal party is absolutely fantastic—everything about it is just wonderful. I could easily say it’s one of the best days I’ve had since Richie and I parted ways. I never expect to feel this happy, but here I am, feeling great. For the first time in a long time, I’m able to smile, laugh, and just be myself again, surrounded by friends and good vibes.After the party wraps up, I head back to my room at Andre’s family’s house. I still can’t believe how kind they are for hosting me! They gave me one of the best rooms in the whole house, complete with a breathtaking view of the sunset and a nice bathtub that’s perfect for relaxing. I really love how amazing this place is; it feels so welcoming and cozy. Andre’s family is so nice and friendly, always making me feel at home, and even though his brothers can be a bit flirty, it’s all in good fun and doesn’t bother me at all.I take a quick shower to wash off the day, change into a comfy nightshirt that feels like a warm hug, and climb

Latest chapter

  • Loving The Mafia King   95

    ~ RICHIE’S POVWatching her sleep is something I would never forsake- I love it. I think of it as a small bonus from having the best night and the best sleep then you wake up to watch the best woman in your life sleep- It feels like a bonus to me. A sweet, sexy bonus.As I keep watching Rachel sleep, I can’t help but smile. Her peaceful expression makes my heart swell with love. I really love her and I love that I get to spend my days with her but that’s not all I want. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I want her to always be there with me. The thought of having Rachel all to myself for life fills me with excitement. I wish I could just marry her right now and make her mine forever. That idea strikes me like a bolt of lightning, and I can’t help but wonder if I should really consider proposing. Sure, it feels a bit soon, but what’s the point of being together if it’s not to build a future and spend the rest of our lives together?My thoughts come to a gentle stop when

  • Loving The Mafia King   94

    After dinner, Richie and I walk them out of the house, exchanging warm goodbyes and promises to get together again soon. As we close the door behind them, I feel a sense of satisfaction from the evening. Just as I’m about to head to the dining area to tackle the mountain of plates, Richie suddenly grabs my hand, pulling me closer to him. He wraps his arms around me from behind, planting soft kisses along my neck. "You’re not going anywhere," he whispers, his breath sending shivers down my spine as he kisses my neck again."The dishes won’t wash themselves, you know," I tease, trying to keep the mood light.He chuckles softly, his voice low and playful. "The dishes can wait, but I can’t." With that, he turns me around, and I find myself gazing into his eyes, which sparkle with mischief. He smiles, leaning in closer, and presses his lips against mine with a tenderness that feels electric. It’s soft and delicate, like the flutter of butterfly wings, lingering just long enough for me to i

  • Loving The Mafia King   93

    It had been two weeks since Richie and I got together, and every single moment felt like pure bliss. I absolutely loved having him around; it seemed like every second was filled with joy and warmth. There was nothing that could make my life better than that. The peace and happiness I found in our relationship were incredible, and I could see that he was just as happy too. It felt like we had created our own little paradise together.After we decided to let go of everything that was weighing us down, we also made the choice to part ways with the diamonds. They couldn’t be destroyed, but they could definitely be hidden, and we made sure they were tucked away safely so they wouldn’t complicate our lives. I didn’t want anything causing drama or risking the relationships with the people I cared about most. It was high time I focused on living a good life, free of worries, and just enjoyed the love I had with Richie.At that moment, I was in the kitchen preparing a warm dinner for my guests

  • Loving The Mafia King   92

    I’ve never felt as scared as I am right now. Seeing a box filled with my things shatters my heart. It feels like Richie has intentionally packed my belongings, wanting to cut me out of his life completely. He doesn’t need me anymore. I know what it means when someone puts the other’s things in a box—they want to get rid of them, and it’s clear he doesn’t love me anymore. Tears well up in my eyes as my heart pounds heavily in my chest. I can’t understand why Richie is doing this, why he wants me gone. With my eyes brimming with tears, I glance at the letter. I open it, and my heart sinks. As I read each word, the pounding in my chest intensifies. The pain is overwhelming, and I can’t wrap my head around it. Why is this happening? Each line leaves me with more questions about what went wrong. Richie and I have had our fights before; we’ve separated but always found our way back to each other. But now, it feels like there’s no coming back. For the first time since we met, it seems like

  • Loving The Mafia King   91

    I jump into a taxi and give the driver the address, my heart racing with every passing moment. As he starts driving, anxiety washes over me, and I can’t shake the feeling of dread mixed with hope. I really hope Richie is willing to talk because right now, all I can offer is communication—just a chance to express how I feel. I can’t do anything more than that, but I’m really hoping he has room in his heart to take me back. The thought of not having him in my life feels unbearable. It’s like a dark cloud looming over me, and I can’t picture my life without him. The thought of not being with him hurts so much that I can hardly bear the idea of living without him. I’ve thought about it a lot, and honestly, life without Richie feels like just existing on this earth with no joy or purpose at all.When I was leaving, Arthur offered to drive me to Richie, but I turned him down. I really don’t want Richie to think there’s anything between me and Arthur because there isn’t. He’s just someone I

  • Loving The Mafia King   90

    I don’t waste a single moment as I hurriedly pack my belongings from the room, my heart racing as I step outside. Tomorrow can't come soon enough; I need to meet Richie and make sure everything is on track between us. I can’t afford to lose him again. I’m done with the little arguments, the big blowouts—I'm finished with all of it. It’s time to step up my game and finally do the right thing.As I walk out of the room, dragging my small suitcase behind me, I catch sight of Arthur. He rushes over, concern etched on his face when he notices my bag. "Why do you have a suitcase with you?""I’m leaving," I reply, my eyes scanning the hallway for Rebecca. I need to find her to say goodbye before I go."What!" he exclaims, his voice rising in disbelief. "Why? Did something happen? Is that why you look like you’ve just cried?" He probes, but I keep moving, determined to locate Rebecca. The sooner I find her, the sooner I can leave and meet Richie to mend things between us."Rachel, come on, wh

  • Loving The Mafia King   89

    I always despise the mafia men, the entire mafia world, and everything that comes with it. I remember the fire in my heart, how fiercely I want to ruin them, to shatter their existence completely. I hurl insults at them, calling them cruel, wicked, and so many other names, never imagining I could ever become one of them, never believing I could sink to that level.But after years of facing harsh realities, I become the very villain I loathe. The villain I refuse to acknowledge, the one I write about in all my stories, always as the antagonist. Tears stream down my face as fear grips me tightly, causing my head to throb and my heart to race uncontrollably. I’m terrified of myself, scared that I’ve morphed into something I never thought I could be—something I’ve always feared. When I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, I feel a wave of panic wash over me. I can’t bear to look at the person staring back, so I bolt out of the bathroom, as if I’m fleeing from an unseen pursuer.

  • Loving The Mafia King   88

    Rebecca’s wedding is such a joyful occasion; it is filled with laughter and excitement. The atmosphere is electric, and I find myself having a couple of drinks at the reception. I promise myself I won’t drink, but as I look around and see everyone toasting and enjoying themselves, I can’t resist. I get caught up in the moment and end up having more than I intended."So tell me one fun fact about you, Rachel," Arther asks me while we stand together at the open bar, the music softly playing in the background. We have been chatting for a few minutes, and I really enjoy his company. He’s a cool guy, easy to talk to, and I feel a connection."I don’t have a fun fact," I reply, taking a sip of my drink and trying to think of something interesting."Come on, I know you do," he urges, a playful smile on his face."I don’t really have one, but I guess a fun fact about me is that I can stick my tongue to my nose," I say, feeling a bit silly but also playful."Really?" he asks, clearly intrigued

  • Loving The Mafia King   87

    I wake up to a loud knock on my door, groaning as I rub my eyes with my hands, trying to shake off the sleep. Slowly, I push myself up from the cozy warmth of my bed, feeling the weight of exhaustion on my shoulders. I shuffle over to the door, open it, and there stands Rebecca, practically glowing with a wide grin plastered across her face. "It’s my wedding day!!" she exclaims, her excitement practically radiating off her. I let out a heavy sigh, a mix of happiness for her and sheer tiredness. I really want to celebrate with her, but all I can think about is how much I need more sleep. So, I start to turn back toward my bed, hoping to catch a few more minutes of rest. But Rebecca, quick as lightning, steps in front of me, her eyes sparkling. "It’s my wedding day!!" she exclaims again, her enthusiasm unwavering. I smile back at her, trying to muster some energy. "I know, and congratulations! But I really need some more time to sleep; I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night," I admit

DMCA.com Protection Status