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chapter 109
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Lovers In Disguise chapter 110
just going through the usual routines without any feelings behind them anymore. I had two sessionswith Sheila that week, and I think for the first time they were actually all about her field of expertise. Ithink she really wanted to tell me to just accept that things wouldn't work out anymore, but I justcouldn't accept it. I was so ready to give up everything just for her."And then we had our last fight. I still don't know what caused it, I mean we were in bed and I wasjust -""I don't really think I need the details about that," I interject.Jazz shrugs, but inclines his head."Sure. Either way, she suddenly shoves me away and runs out of the bedroom, screaming somethinglike, 'I knew that you were just like him!' at me. No idea what she meant, and of course I followedher. Thought I'd find her either crying or screaming in the living room, but she just got herself a bottleof water from the fridge after tying her bathrobe around her, then turned to me and calmly told
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that there's nothing he can say to defend himself. Which is probably the truth. Strangely, that newlygleaned knowledge does nothing whatsoever to ease the rage boiling in my guts, in fact it only leadsto even more frustration.Until suddenly, something else he said makes sense."She knows, doesn't she? Alice knows. That's what she meant with 'You are just like him' – she meantyou're just like me."His loud, somewhat dejected sounding exhale is the only answer I get, but it's not enough for me."Just what the hell did you do to her?""I did nothing!" he shouts back, clearly agitated. "Nothing more than I've done plenty of times with herbefore! Not that you really wanna know, because you still see her as the pure girl seeking love whodoesn't really have an interesting sex life -""Bullshit! I know she fucks round just as much as you, and I've heard my fair share of details! I don'tgive a flying fuck about what she does or what she likes, but I won't stand by while you
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And you really gave me an easy way out when you said that we didn't have to add anything kinky toany future threesomes."And the third one was great again, nothing that made me feel uneasy, we clearly all enjoyed it, andthe little spat you and Bells had afterwards was probably overdue anyway, I told myself."Another pause, and this time I just have to ask again."Really nothing that made you uneasy about it?"His eyes zoom to my face, and for the first time he looks amused when he chuckles."No. Might sound strange, but I've never felt weird about kissing you. Or fucking you. Or being fuckedby you. That part of my sexuality I own, and for whatever reason it's petty much confined to you, ifyou've ever wondered. We've had sex, so what, that doesn't make me gay, nor would that really be anissue for me if it did.""Fair enough."My curt answer makes him snort,but then he sobers up rather fast."Still, I guess that's not the whole truth. Or I don't know, that part is hard
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"Well, that's pretty much it," he finally speaks up again. "You know, now would be a good time for astatement." When I remain silent he sighs, then rubs his face with his hands. "Guess I don't deserveone. Either way, now you know my side of the story. And I hope that when I tell you now that I'msorry about causing so much pain to everyone involved, that it's the truth. I really didn't think, not for amoment, that things could blow so out of proportions. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself toforget that insane idea the moment it came to my mind, and grow a pair and tell you guys that – I don'tknow. I'm not happy with things ending like this. That while I want to be with Alice, I'm not sure thatwill ever work or is everything that I want. And -"He inhales sharply, then looks me right in the eye as he goes on."And that while I will always see Bella as my incestuously attractive childhood friend, somewherealong the way you became just a little more than my
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are or were really feeling for him then, but I knew that it was too soon, that you simply needed moretime to work things through and maybe realize a few things on your own. I knew that I'd have to be theone to steer conversation to that topic, but I'm kind of used to by now that any uncomfortable stuffends up being my responsibility, I can deal with that."Again she halts, and I still don't know what to say. When that becomes obvious, she resumes."In a way I'm even glad he burst in on us today, because quite frankly, I think I would have goneinsane any day now if I got any more frustrated."Bella laughs a bit shakily, but her gaze remains trained on me."Before I get lost in my own not quite coherent thoughts, I think I should state a few facts that I'vecome to accept and know a while ago. First, I love you, and you love me. The kind of unconditionallove that endures a lot, and if for whatever reason our relationship wouldn't work out, it would verylikely leave us b
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"That's not a no.""But also not a yes."We keep looking at each other then, and after a while it all just gets too heavy for me."Do you mind if I just hold you?""Of course not," she whispers, then brushes another kiss over my lips before she turns around, readyto be tugged into my embrace. I mold my body against hers, with her head pillowed on one of myarms, while I snake the other over her abdomen. We stay like that for a while, our fingers entwinedover her stomach, both of us lost in thought.I have no idea how much time has passed – it feels like hours, but has probably only been minutes –when I hear her clear her throat."You know, I really miss what we had. And I'm not even talking about the mind-blowing sex. Justus. Like after that first threesome, when we wereall lying in a heap of limbs on the couch with two boxes of pizza and a movie playing, and life wasjust so uncomplicated. I want that back."Her words make me yearn for just that, but I know that we
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I have to move towards Jazz, and I pointedly glance at her less than subtle hint, which she of courseignores.The silence continues to stretch in all its awkwardness while we're busy caffeinating ourselves. Andit just keeps getting worse by the minute, until finally I've reached a point where I just can't let it dragon anymore.Straightening, I lean back, not quite incidentally snaking my arm around Bella to keep close to her.She smiles a little at that but doesn't comment, nor does she lean into me, either.Turning back to where Jazz is studying us, I try to come up with something worthwhile to say, but asmy mind is still sluggish, I decide to stick with being blunt. So far that has served us all well today."I'm so sick of all this shit." Jazz frowns at my words but holds his tongue, and with a loud exhale Iforce myself to go on. "I'm sick of feeling like a dumb fuck, and I'm sick of everything being sodifficult and awkward. We've all made mistakes, and we'll have
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I half expect her to play coy and bite her lip, or add another remark that will dampen the intensity andturn it into something more comfortable, but she doesn't. Instead she makes him tilt his face up moreby bringing her own close to his, then kisses him, slowly but passionately. He hesitates for a moment,then joins in, his hands kneading her hips just where her tank top has ridden up, revealing a sliver ofwarm, smooth flesh.I also expect some of the residual jealousy that has been riding shotgun throughout our last threesometo rear its ugly head, but watching them just makes me unbearably horny.Bella breaks off the kiss by leaning back enough to grin at Jazz, her fingers idly playing with his hair."Does that feel weird to you?"He shrugs, still focused on her, the motion letting him push up her top a couple of inches more."A little, as usual."Not the reply she's been waiting for, but she laughs it off easily enough."But is that a problem for you?""I'd say tha
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Their almost identical grins make me laugh, and I let my head fall against the back of the couch just soI don't have to look at either of them."I really don't give a fuck. As far as I'm concerned, the only room I'm in charge of decorating is theattic upstairs. The rest is up to you.""You can't do that! Don't be such a pussy just because you're afraid Jazz will keep bitching like a littlegirl when you make the right choice.""And what, dear Bella, is better about Edward's former room than mine? My room has the betterfixtures for lights and electronic equipment, and there's even a specially built nook in the back for asmall freezer!""Which is the reason why I think it's better equipped to be the office, not the bedroom! I so need adoor between where I sleep and where you keep your porn collection. Your computer isn't cominginto the bedroom, either.""It's not porn, it's my World of Warcraft collectibles collection!"Thankfully the sound of the doorbell saves me fr
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My remark makes her draw her forehead into a frown."You really think he'd be self-conscious just because I was around? He should know that I wouldn'tdo anything to him or talk him into doing anything that he doesn't want to do.""I don't think it's that. It's hard to explain, but he seems happy where he is right now. With us, includedas an equal, loved and cherished, but without any responsibilities or anyone having any expectationsof him. He obviously likes to top in a scene, but he doesn't want to be a Dom, and I don't think thatwill change much. You know that not all of us get off on having to care for someone else like that.""Don't even dare to speak another word. Last time I checked, I was the one telling you it was okay tobe into power play but that it wasn't necessarily a prerequisite, just like everything else. Differentfolks, different strokes, right?""Yes, Mistress."I get an eye roll for that, and I'm disappointed when she doesn't even try to slap me pla
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if that still bothers me, and will likely only get worse if we have kids – I know that our family, as itis, will be a warm and nurturing environment for anyone to grow up and live in.The last part of her remark turns my smile into a grin again, and I snort."I already pity the unlucky bitch or bastard who calls Bella's righteous wrath down upon them. Whenshe was out with Rose and her baby last week and someone looked at them in what she thought was acondescending way, she got right in their face. I don't want to think about how much worse it will bewhen it's her own brood that's under scrutiny. She really doesn't suffer fools gladly anymore.""Did she ever? I still remember a time when you didn't have the balls to confess your undying love toher because you thought she'd laugh at such a mushy sentiment, particularly when admitted after themutual destruction of a bottle of tequila."Although it has only been a year, thinking back to a time when I couldn't just walk up
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"Can I get you anything else, or will that be all?"Handing Raven back my signed receipt, I smile at her and shake my head."No, thanks. Assembling all of this and putting the new equipment through a series of stress testsshould keep us busy for a while."It's still somewhat weird, but without a doubt more relaxing, to just get a nod and my credit card backfrom her."If you change your mind, we have the scented lubes on sale until after the weekend.""I'll remember that. Thanks," I reply, then grab the last package and carry it to my car, barelymanaging to close the rear hatch after I add my purchases. When I go back into the shop I see that Bethis finally done talking to the woman she has been holed up with in a corner of the café area for the lasthalf hour. I wait until she has left the shop before I saunter over to my former mentor, hugging herbefore I take the seat opposite her."I take it everything is okay - you spent an extra twenty minutes hanging around here
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I set a slow and relaxed pace – for one I just love watching Bella writhe under Jazz's mouth, foranother I am aching all over from yesterday's exertions. As much as I don't mind pain in general,feeling my thigh muscles lock up because of that strain is not something that gets me all hot andbothered.Taking Bella's invitation for what it is, Jazz seems to increase the intensity of his ministrationsbecause soon she is moaning constantly as she comes, one hand still gripping his hair, the otherdigging into the mattress. When she goes slack again it is with a glow on her face and a decisive"Ouch!" as she shifts her weight off one hip, wincing briefly.When she pushes his head away he rests it briefly on her thigh, but Bella is not done with him yet byfar. Instead of just lying back now, she starts inching down the bed until she's lying underneath Jazz,their faces almost flush with each other."Let me take care of that," she coos, reaching for his cock and starting to st
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I moan into her mouth when she wraps her fingers around my cock, instinctively moving closer to her.Jazz's arm is around my hip while he strokes my stomach, his lips and tongue alternating between myneck and shoulder. None of us is really in a hurry to actually get it on for real, so we stay that way,relaxing and touching each other.Things change when Bella eventually lets me nudge her thighs apart so that I can run my hand up herinner thigh to her pussy, the contact making her moan. Jazz stills for a moment, then pushes his cock alittle more decisively against my lower back, but I ignore him for now. Looking deep into Bella'shalf-lidded eyes, I cup her entire sex with my hand, then push just the tip of two of my fingers into herpussy, feeling her swollen labia wet and warm against my hand. She utters another moan, smilinglanguidly, then stretches and moves her hips into my hand, clearly wanting more.I feel Jazz push himself up at my other side, probably so he can
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then I wouldn't have run even if he had told me to suck off a couple of strangers."Jazz shakes his head, still bewildered, while Bella settles back against me and resumes her tale. Hetakes the rest of it better than I've expected, besides a few cut-off moans when she speeds up jerkinghim off. Despite that I'm still curious when he makes a face at both of us at the end."I get why you didn't want me around for roughing her up," he gripes at me, then narrows his eyes."But why did you think you had to keep me from the rest? Beth, Charlotte, Peter and Gerard havewatched me fuck people before. I don't think any of us has a problem with seeing each other's nakedasses anymore."Bella's hand drops from his cock and she rearranges herself so that she is lying on her back, able togaze at the both of us. The look on her face is still somewhat quizzical when she turns to Jazz."I think I'm kind of speaking for Edward and myself when I say we assumed you'd have issues withsomeon
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"You know that just like you guys get to fuck each other when I'm not around sometimes, Edward andI end up screwing without you. So what?It's usually a thing of impulsive horniness and opportunity, not a statement of possessiveness. We allknow it happens, and I don't think any one of us is resentful when it does?"She keeps staring at him until he shakes his head."I won't deny that I had a hell of a great time yesterday. We fucked a lot and it was great, we did acouple of things that I've started to miss a little, and a few more I didn't even realize I wanted to dothat badly. But, quite frankly, I think the only reason I felt remotely glad you weren't around the wholetime was because I didn't want to worry about you feeling weird about any of it, because I needed tolet go and have not a care in the world in order for it all to feel as good as it did in the end. I wouldhave loved to share all of it with you if I'd thought you would have appreciated it all as much as
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tries to roll them both over. That finally gets her to move for real, but when she tries to push awayfrom him he holds her down, his whole body more or less perched on her back."Let me up, you stupid oaf!""Stupid oaf, eh? What kind of crappy romance novel have you been reading? Is that the worst you cancome up with?" he taunts, then starts tickling her. Bella shrieks, now fighting to throw him off for real,but worn out as she is Jazz has no problem keeping her underneath him.She finally gives up and looks pleadingly over at me; I'm hard pressed not to laugh at them both."Help me!""Now that's unfair," Jazz grumbles, then eases up and rolls off her, coming to lay side by side withher. Bella sneers at him, then grins and settles back into her pillow. She groggily rubs her eyes andyawns loudly, without covering her mouth."You're early."Jazz nods as I repeat my observation, briefly looking from me to her as I join them on the bed atBella's other side."There wasn
