Chapter 2

Theo was a loner, not by choice, but by circumstances in life. He was the son of wealthy people and the youngest of three brothers.

When, at seventeen, he told his parents he was gay, they didn't twinkle an eye. They let him finish high school and put $500,000 in a bank account, under his name, with free access to it. He could pay the tuition, housing, food and staff, and live happily ever after, so they told him. They told him to manage the money as he pleased, and on his 18th birthday they told him goodbye. 

That was a lot of money in the hands of an 18-year-old, but they just didn't want him to corrupt his brothers.

The half a million was mainly used to clear his parents' consciences. Deep down, they didn't want the press to accuse them of being sufficiently homophobic to exclude him from the family's, exclude the youngest son from their lives, with one hand in front and the other behind, sleeping on the streets. He'd get the education they'd always wanted and the money to start his life, or so they thought, and no one could point a finger at them. They simply “supported” their son's decision to move on with his life in the way that best suited him.

If, at the end of the line, the money runs out, he would have a degree and, if all goes well, the ability to survive alone without stepping into their lives or into the lives of the “good” children they had left behind, to ask for help or money.

When he got into Cornell University, he got a single room and moved there. He felt releved. The dean knew his story, and had advised him to apply for a scholarship next year where he would be off his parents' ITR and save some money. Though it was a lot of money, a good education is expensive, and he had to live somewhere and eat. He also advised him to change to a double room and share the expenses, but he refused.

His parents had sent him everything he needed, and the remaining things that reminded them of his existence, moved to a storage and sent him the damn key. Probably, his former bedroom at his parents' house, was now a guest room or an office. He didn't want to know. He just doesn't care anymore.

He missed his high school friends, his getaways with childhood friends, surfing, jet skiing, kitesurfing, and especially the person who abandoned him when he lost his parents. His boyfriend who told him to tell his parents, and who, after all, simply wanted to be accepted as the boyfriend of the son of a rich family. Damn him. Damn them all. 

After having everything taken care of, starting to live on campus so long before school started just proved to him that his life was going to be very difficult. He was really alone. He spent his days studying for the semester, eating, sleeping and jerking off watching free gay movies on the net. The only people he spoke to were the cook in the canteen and the gardener who kept the gardens surrounding his dorm.

The dorm was gloriously empty, and he wasn't looking forward to the arrival of other residents. He knew that he wasn't used to the noise and to being bullied. He would expect many sleepless nights.

When he chose to stay in a single room, he also didn't worry that the only dorm with singles available was exactly what was going to make him feel bad about being there. But he got there first, and the puritans and stereotype jocks could fuck up their asses.

But worst of all, he only revealed his sexuality to his parents because his boyfriend, two years older, pressured him.

Theo cursed himself for the time he let himself be carried away by him. Never before had he had any problems with his parents, who were simply distant. Now they were completely absent. It would be no different if they had died. And his so-called boyfriend, friendzone him, as soon as he was kicked out.

With no parents, no friends, and no boyfriend, he hoped that, when school started, he would at least make 1 or 2 friends, maybe join an LGBT+ group and get a boyfriend. Yes, getting someone that wanted to fuck him wasn't hard, but one night stand wasn't his cup of tea. So Theo wanted a boyfriend. Living without parents he would get used to. Live loveless, no.

But it seemed his parents had made a pact with all the gods, and things seemed to get complicated with every moment he spent alone. The other campus residents began to arrive. The juniors and finalists in their cars loaded with suitcases, alone or in groups, talking and immediately start parting, while the other freshman arrived accompanied by their parents, carrying almost a house on their backs, and dismissing them with false promises to dedicate their entire academic life to studying in the library, with “I won't have time to go to parties and I will never drink alcohol or take drugs”. He had no one to promise anything to but himself. He'd already smoked a joint or sucked a roach from a friend, and got drunk, usually with cheap beer that his friends managed to buy, often with his own money, but he didn't want to be drugged, drunk and alone in a place he didn't know and that could Fuck his life even more than it already was.

He was jealous of seeing new friendships blossom between roommates, and he almost wanted to give in to Dean's proposal and trade his singer for a double, especially in a more LGBT+ friendly dorm. Almost. He didn't know who would occupy the other bed in the room, and he couldn't risk catching a Puritan who buried him in the closet, even deeper than he was, when he was trying so desperately to get out of it.

Thanks to his parents' choices, he didn't have to answer to anyone. But he also had to survive the next years it took to complete his studies, so, although he didn't intend to hide from anyone that he was gay, he also didn't intend to advertise to the world. , much less end up taking a shower surrounded by people who would humiliate and hurt him, just because.

The dean had assured him that Cornell was definitely an LGBT+ friendly university. He had assured him that gays and lesbians walked the campus proudly with their heads held high, and that there were many clubs, including the ones supporting the LGBT+ community on campus, that would certainly be willing to open their doors and support him in whatever way possible. Theo knew this was a lot of crap. Yes, there would certainly be groups and many gays that no one touched, for being too well connected with important figures, or too popular for anyone to risk being ostracized for going against them, but certainly even those, behind their backs, were made fun of . And what about the others, the gays, lesbians, trans, bi, who didn't have money? Who lived on scholarships, without the support of any important figure? The ones they had to work to pay for books and food, because the family had worked hard to pay for the bed they slept in and the degree they wanted? What actually happened to them?

There were rules that students avoided breaking, as the university was strict about keeping itself out of any scandal or accusation of discrimination, whether of sexual, racial or religious orientation, but he knew that there were other ways to humiliate, bully , without using the words they intended.

He wasn't going to hear someone call him a fagget or a cocksuker in public, but he wasn't free to hear a fairy, quear or even a twink word.

In reality, he didn't want to know what they called him. The worst had already been done by his parents, without even using a simple insult. However, they insulted and humiliated him much more.

He just wanted to shower in peace and get through the first semester until there was a vacancy in a more gay-friendly dorm.

The dean had also told him about the LGBT Resource Center, and how they could help him find the perfect dorm and support programs. Then there was the Haven group, created and run by students from Cornell's LGBT community. But, at that moment, he just didn't want to be alone. Loneliness was taking him over and carrying him into depression.

The arrival of more and more students brought the prospect of a noisy start to the semester, and Theo was not disappointed.

The other residents gradually became friends, and did not stop trying to get closer to him, but two glances were enough for the “hi” to turn to “oh” and they turned their backs on him, afraid that others would think they were playing in the same team, simply by being his friendly.

The lectures and teachers were good. He'd given it all his attention, eager to fill his brain with all the lessons and forget about the shit that his life had become.

There were colleagues who spoke to him, but he still couldn't say that he had made a single friend. Well, a girl wanted to apply for that job, and she used every weapon she had.

- You won't be able to push me away. My brother is gay and he is the person I most admire and love in the world. You won't find a friend who represents the “+” of the LGBT+ acronym better than me on the entire campus.

It wasn't even worth arguing about, she made him smile. It wouldn't be hard to be BFF with Sarah.

But the days passed and he continued to feel more and more alone and isolated from the world. Yes, he disguised it when he was with Sarah and other acquaintances, but he was missing someone who would make him forget where he came from and how he got there.

- There are always new programs and job opportunities, dedicated to the LGBT+ community, opening up. We all know that they use the excuse of integration and equal rights, but we know that the majority is looking for benefits and cheap labor. But in the end, both benefit, they with the work and advertising, and we with the salary and the dead time occupied with something productive – Said a finalist from Haven, on one of his trips there.

A part-time job wasn't something he disliked. He always took out money to eat. With a part-time job he could eat from the money he earned without touching his account, and keeping his head busy with work was a plus. But there was nothing at the moment. The year had just begun.

The dorm was another torment. He couldn't take a shower, take a piss or take a shit, without someone shouting to the whole dorm, "watch out, Tinker Bell's going into the bathroom to make someone's pitter Pan fly" in a clear reference to the fact that he was a fairy and that any straight men cock was in danger of being suckd by him. Bunch of puritan homophobic troglodytes.

So Theo spent his free time sitting on the floor of his room, with his head down, often letting tears flow, at his private pity party.