…Raven POV…
I wake up with a pounding headache; it feels like my head is about to explode. I try to push my body off the bed, but everything is spinning. Exploding and spinning, I definitely had too much wine to drink. Most of the night is a total blur to me; I do not even want to know what Jax and I got up to, emphasis on up, we definitely had sex. I am pretty sure he is going to make me remember.
Jax is lying next to me; he looks so peaceful in his sleep; there is nothing like having a sexy man in your bed. He probably does not feel half as bad as I do. I am not going to wake him up just yet; instead, I cuddle up next to him, with my head resting on his chest. Why am I cuddling with him; he should not be in my bed to start with. But I do it anyway; it does not take long for me to fall asleep again.
Then I have the most awful nightmare, almost like it is real. It sends fear and panic throughout my body; a cold sweat settles over me. In my dream, H
It's is eleven in the morning, three bottles down, and I am still going. I am well on my way down a road of self-destruction, self-pity, a lot of feeling sorry for myself, playing the victim. One word sums me up perfectly, both physically and mentally, fucked.And do I learn my lesson?No!"Hey, gorgeous.""Jax! Are you having a drink with me?""Yes."I watch him and I can see the hurt still in his eyes."Jax.""Yes?""I am sorry I threw you out. I was just pissed off at the both of you.""Forget about it, just as long as you are okay.""Not really, but the wine is working. Best you catch up; it's no fun being drunk by yourself."I hand Jax the bottle of wine, and he pours a glass for himself, then he turns to me, "Raven.""Yes?""Hunter was wrong when he said I have no feelings for you.""I know."Without hesitation, his hands come up to frame my face, by my jaw, tilting
…Raven POV…It's nighttime when I wake up; Hunter insisted that I sleep for a bit; it seems that a bit has turned into the entire afternoon. Only when I turn around to lay on my back is when I notice that he is curled up next to me. My heart drops; I have missed this; I have forgotten how peaceful and irresistible he looks while he is sleeping. There is so much that I have missed out on; why did I ever doubt this man.I need to stop this thing with Jax.I must fix us, Hunter and me. I must make his heart whole again.I lean over and give him a peck on his cheek.He looks at me with a sneaky smile, "Is that all I get?""What else did you want?""Maybe just a little bit of tongue.""Is this your attempt to talk dirty?""Yes.""You suck at it.""I can think of something else you can suck.""Hunter!"He lets out a rather nervous laugh and looks me straight in the eyes, “Just me
…Raven POV…For the next hour, I fight this internal battle with myself, trying to come to terms with what it is that I want. By the time we reach Jax’s house, I have come to my decision."I will give you time to say bye to Jax; a hug is fine, but kissing and touching, then I kill him. I am sorry if you think that I am telling you what to do and that I am too hard on you; you have a lot of fixing to do, that is, if you want to stay with me.""I want to stay with you.""Let's go get your stuffWhen we pull into the driveway, we are faced with Jax standing outside by his car. At first, he smiles when he sees me; as soon as he sees Hunter, his smile fades."I will go inside and fetch your things. I don't want any fucking funny stuff.""Okay."When I get up out of the car, Jax walks up to me; he briefly faces Hunter, "Morning, Hunter.""Yes, Jax. I will break your fucking hands if you don't keep the
…Raven POV… I have not seen Hunter for two days; I am hoping it is because he is busy and not that he is ignoring me. I don’t know how I ever thought that he would just accept what I did and move on. I hate being rejected this way, especially by the man I love. It is like my body disgusts him that he can't bear touching something so filthy. I am starting to doubt if he actually still loves me. I honestly think that he is never going to touch me again; he is stubborn that way. We are back to where he cannot say that he loves me; just this time, he cannot touch me as well. How can he want to kiss me but not touch me? Makes no sense? There are days that I wonder what I am fighting for; it feels like nothing at all; our relationship must have just been doomed from the start. I feel like I am his prize locked up in a room. I must do as he says and not ask for anything in return. I don't know what to think about us anymore I don’t know what to do with m
…Raven POV…I can see Hunter, with a very satisfied but somewhat frustrated smile, get back into his pants. He sees me cock my little head as I am busy stewing over something in my head."What changed?""What do you mean? What changed with what?"Your no-sex rule?""I saw the look in your eyes last night, and I knew if I do not do something, then I was going to lose you again."He draws his lips a little inch closer to him and lays a soft peck against my forehead, "Let us go hear what the problem is?"So as we get to the pub, yes, there is a problem."Mason, what is the problem here?""It is Maddison, she got punch…” Mason goes quiet for a brief moment and as he gets a smirk on his face, he continues, “Well, again.”I only but shake my head in disgust, "I swear that this bitch has not learned her lesson."Maddison steps forward to me, "Who is your bitch you two-timing
If I have not said this before, I shall say this again. I need to stop for one moment and take a step back, for beyond all the craziness that filled our lives, I need to allow myself to remember what drives me, and it is Raven. What makes this all worthwhile is the beauty that lies in my arms. Should I not have had her presence in my life, I would not have had the sheer willpower to take the impossible on.To have beauty in your life is easy, but to have the beauty of the woman that you love and the one that loves you in return is the greatest gift that one can experience. I can, with all honesty, say that there is no doubt that she completes my life. To be lonely for eternity can be seen as a life sentence, but having what you crave, is the greatest blessing.The woman that is now staring at me with that beautiful smile is the love of my life.Do we even need to speak of what has happened that had drawn us apart for what seems like forever? I believe that the h
Sometimes you the moments that you are the most frightened of are the moments that feel right. "Princess, I am not a man of many words. So please excuse me if I get this wrong." "Hunter, what is wrong?" "Please, please just listen to me, please just listen until I am done." I shift but a fraction even closer than what could even be possible and take her soft hands into mine. My trembling hand that right now wish that I could just fall into an abyss and disappear. But I can do this; I have played this moment in my head over and over now for days. So here it goes. "Princess, until I saw you first, love, at first sight, was just an overrated phrase for me. When I saw you, I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. From the moment we first met to this day, if there is one thing that has always been constant is love, care and excitement, and the fear of the unknown. I was single and likely to stay single until I didn't
…Raven POV…In front of me, I have Hunter on his knees.Who is more scared at this very moment is left to be seen. But apart from the fear of the unknown, not knowing what to say next, I know that there is only one thing in life that I care about the most.And that is Hunter.So I gently take his face between my hands and whisper to him,"Now it is your turn to keep quiet."With one deep, swallowed breath, I find the words that have never been so easy to roll from my lips."Hunter, you are the only precious thing in my life.I hold close to my heart. There's no moment that I don't think about you. I've always wished to experience that kind of love shown in movies, not knowing I was a step closer to experiencing it. It's so great to finally have someone as beautiful as you are to enjoy life with. You're my push, my strength, my best friend, and my fighter. You've seen me at my worst and terrific moments and w