9

Adam

I was getting ready to go back to the hospital. I needed to sign some paperwork and go over things with Ben's doctor before he went into surgery.

As I was shaving, a scar on my shoulder caught my attention. It was a scar from a bullet wound. It's a miracle that the shot didn't kill me.

I turned around to see all the other scars I had. Most were on my back, but I had some on my side and leg. Some were long strips from getting whipped. Some scars were small or medium in size from getting stabbed. Some wounds were from getting burned. It's strange how I forgot about them; I suppose I was just used to them.

I put the razor down and leaned over the sink. My mind was all over the place. Ben was in the hospital, and the memories from my past addiction started returning.

Ben's gonna be okay.

I had to stay strong for Ben; he had always been strong for me. Then there was Daphnie; I would eventually have to tell her the truth about my time in the Marines.

Then there were the memories coming back to me. I had done so well, going about the past two years without even thinking about drugs, but now, I remembered the feelings it gave me. It felt good, and I loved it. I never wanted to quit. If Ben hadn't forced me to go Cold Turkey, I would still be on Morphine. I had to shake that idea off and finish getting ready. The doctor said to be there early, and I still had to pick up Daphnie; she would be by my side to support me. After getting ready, I headed to the lobby, grabbed the keys for my Porsche, and drove to pick up Daphnie.

As soon as I pulled up in front of Daphnie's house, she sprinted out the front door. Before I could get out of the car, Daphnie was in the passenger seat.

"What's going on?"

"Things just got out of hand with my father."

"What happened."

"Well, he tried to kill me."

"WHAT?"

"It wasn't intentional; he hit me and then strangled me for a while."

I unbuckled my seatbelt and began to get out of the car. I'd be damned if anyone got away with hurting Daphnie.

"Adam, no!" Daphnie grabed my arm. "He's not worth it."

"He hurt you. I won't let him get away with that."

"What about Ben? Doesn't he need surgery?"

I froze. Daphnie was right; I'd have to deal with her father later.

I let out a sigh and began to drive to the hospital. It was a quiet drive. Aside from rage, I felt so nervous. I had put my drug addiction behind me, but I kept remembering everything since it was brought up.

I felt a little uneasy with myself now that memories were hitting me. I began to feel a desire for Morphine again; I quickly shook that thought away. Going back on Morphine could cause another overdose that would kill me; I couldn't do that to Ben or Daphnie.

"What's on your mind?" Daphnie gently said.

I kept my eyes on the road. I couldn't look her in the eyes. I was too ashamed of how I was struggling at that moment. Too embarrassed that I was feeling tempted. I had to be as honest as possible with her, though.

"Ben has been my support all this time. I'm not sure I can trust myself if he doesn't trust me."

Daphnie stayed quiet. I managed to gather up enough nerve to look at her. She was looking out the window. From what I could see, she looked a little sad. I reached over and grabbed her hand. When she turned her head to look at me, I smiled at her.

"When you're done talking to the doctor, how about we talk about what you're going through? That is if you want to open up about it."

I let out a sigh as I looked back at the road.

"Sure."

As I pulled into the parking garage, I felt nervous about what I was about to walk into. Would Ben be given drugs as I walked into the room? How much did the doctor know? Would they be watching me?

"Hey," Daphnie grabbed my shoulder. I looked at her, and she softly smiled.

"You're gonna be okay. I'll stay right by your side."

I felt comfort in Daphnie's words; I nodded my head and got out of the car. We walked through the hospital hand in hand. When we walked into Ben's room, I saw the top bodyguards from my company and nodded at them.

"Lucero, Mario."

"Sir." They said in unison.

I was glad they were assigned to be inside Ben's room; I wanted only the best to be close to him. Don't get me wrong, the guards patrolling the hallway and outside the building were great. Still, Lucero and Mario got the highest scores on the ASVAB test and the tests I have everyone take after orientation. I also respected their high ranking.

"Hey."

Ben looked up at us. He was sitting up in bed with his phone on his lap.

"Hey."

"I thought you weren't coming back." Ben looked sad as he said those words.

"The doctor needs me to sign some paperwork since I'm your brother."

Ben chuckled a little. The doctor came in at that moment with a clipboard in his hands.

"Hello, Adam."

"Hello."

He looked at Daphnie and then at our interlocked hands. He seemed shocked.

"I'm Daphnie, Adam's girlfriend," Daphnie said as she squeezed my hand.

That statement warmed my heart, making me feel better.

"Oh. Alright then. We need you to sign these papers, and then you can leave."

I didn't like the way the doctor spoke. Clearly, he was judging me for having a drug addiction. There was some humor in his voice, as well, almost as if he didn't believe I could stay sober. I took the clipboard from him and sat on the couch. Daphnie sat down next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. It was comforting to have her with me; she made me feel stronger.

After reading all the paperwork, I quickly signed everything. I stood up and gave the doctor the clipboard.

"Alright, then." He said as if finalizing a deal. The man had the nerve to step aside as if to encourage us to leave.

If Daphnie wasn't there and Ben didn't need surgery, I would've punched that douchebag so hard that he'd need reconstructive surgery for his face.

"I'd like to speak to my brother for a while."

"Make it quick. We'll need to start prepping him for surgery soon."

With that, he left the room.

"Thank God," Daphnie mumbled.

"How have they been treating you?" I asked.

"Descent. All the staff are nice and tend to my needs, and the food is pretty good. Mario and Lucero are good company, even if they don't speak."

I chuckled a little, looked at Lucero and Mario, and nodded at them. At each training and orientation, I made it clear that they're not hired to be friends of our clients; being friends with the person you're protecting can cloud your judgment.

"Lucero and Mario are doing their job, Ben."

Ben let out a sigh.

"Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Ben shrugged.

"Did they tell you how long surgery will take? I wanna be here for you when you wake up."

"No, they didn't."

"I'll go ask the nurse."

I walked from Ben's room to the nurses' station; no one was there, so I decided to wait. As I looked around, I saw that a cabinet full of medicine was wide open.

Someone needs to get fired.

As I looked at the cabinet, I saw a bottle of Acetaminophen right in front of me. My heart started pounding; I remembered the rush I used to feel with Morphine. Now that I had been sober for so long, Acetaminophen would do the same. It was only 325 milligrams; it would be harmless to me. Nothing severe could possibly happen. My eyes kept focusing on that bottle. I was consumed by a longing, a desire for the euphoria I used to feel. I took small steps toward the bottle until I heard a voice.

"Adam."

It was Daphnie's voice.

I looked away from the cabinet and saw Daphnie with a worried expression on her face.

"No." She gently told me while slightly shaking her head.

I felt so ashamed. I almost went back down that dark road. Daphnie walked up to me and hugged me as I began to cry.

"Is everything alright?" I heard someone ask.

Daphnie turned around and said, "he's worried about his brother."

"Oh, I see. I can only imagine how hard it is."

"Do you know how long the surgery will be?"

"From when we prep him to when he wakes up and adjusts, you can talk to him in about three hours."

"Thank you."

The nurse walked away as Daphnie turned to look at me.

"Let's go, say goodbye."

I nodded as Daphnie took my hand and walked back to Ben's room.

I could tell my eyes were red when I saw the look on Ben's face.

"What happened?"

I couldn't tell Ben, not after everything I put him through. After all his effort to get me sober, I couldn't tell Ben I almost went back.

"It's hard for him to see you like this," Daphnie spoke up.

"Oh. Adam, I'm gonna be fine."

I nodded my head.

"I know."

"We're gonna get going. We'll be back when you wake up." Daphnie said reassuringly.

"Okay. Adam, can I have a hug?"

I hesitated, but I eventually walked up to the bed, leaned over, and gave Ben a hug.

"I love you, man," he said while patting me on the back.

I pulled away and started crying a little. I really felt like shit at that moment; Ben would be so disappointed in me if he knew what just happened. All I did was nod my head.

"I love you too."

Daphnie

We walked out of the hospital holding hands. Occasionally, I squeezed Adam's hand to reassure him that I was there for him. He was still crying a little.

I wasn't prepared for what would happen once we got in the car. After making sure I was settled, Adam closed my door and went around to his side. Once he sat in the driver's seat and closed his door, he leaned against the steering wheel and started sobbing.

I didn't know what to do. Adam was one of the strongest men I knew, so seeing him cry made me want to cry a little. I couldn't even imagine what he was going through, what he was feeling or thinking. His best friend was in the hospital, and he almost relapsed after two years of sobriety.

The fact that I couldn't do anything to comfort him caused a few tears to escape my eyes. I didn't like seeing him like that; honestly, it scared me.

Adam started breathing heavily, crying as if he couldn't catch his breath. He even started trembling a little. I put my hand on Adam's back, hoping it would bring him some comfort. I could feel his heart pounding. We stayed like that for about ten minutes before Adam stopped crying. His breathing and heartbeat slowed down to a steady pace. He sat up and leaned his head back against the headrest. His face was wet from tears and sweat, and his nose ran a little. I reached into my purse for a tissue, gently dried Adam's face, and wiped his nose. When I was done, Adam looked at me.

"Are you sure you wanna be my girlfriend?"

I didn't know what to say, so I leaned over and kissed Adam's cheek. I could tell that he was a wreck on the inside, and I wished there was a way I could help him.

"How about we go to the mall?" I suggested.

"The mall?"

"Yeah. We can look around, enjoy a walk, and get something to eat. I'm sure that will kill some time."

"Okay."

Adam was quiet during the drive, so I reached over and held his hand, causing him to look at me with a smile.

Once we arrived at the mall, we got into a small argument about who would pay for what. Adam insisted that he buy me whatever I wanted since I was now involved in a mess. I mentioned that I should pay for my things since the mall was my idea and Adam did not need to pay.

We agreed that I would pay for my things while Adam paid for lunch.

Adam

Daphnie preferred to shop at simple stores like Kohl's, Old Navy, and Target. Although Daphnie picked out nice clothing from there, I would rather buy Daphnie things from the higher-end stores; she deserved nothing but the best.

Shopping kept my mind off my craving for euphoria. I was sure Daphnie knew that shopping was a distraction for me because she tried on all the clothes she picked out, even though she knew they would fit perfectly. Every time she walked out of the dressing room, she walked as if on a runway and then struck a pose. It made me laugh a little. After trying everything on, Daphnie dragged me to the Men's Department of each store and picked out some casual clothes. It was much needed since all I had were dress clothes for work.

Once we finished shopping, we went to the food court and ordered Panda Express. As we ate, a question came to my mind.

"Daphnie?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you know I need regular clothes? And how did you know what size to grab?"

Daphnie froze. She looked like a deer in headlights, and she began to stutter.

"Ummm... Well... Uh..."

I smiled.

"Daphnie... Tell me."

"Well," she said as she squirmed in her seat.

"Yes?"

"I may have gone through your laundry basket and stolen one of your T-shirts."

Daphnie looked down after saying that. She seemed embarrassed.

"Okay. So then you saw that all the shirts were dress shirts. Got it."

Daphnie seemed surprised by my answer.

"You're not mad?"

"No."

"Oh. I can give it back to you."

"Which shirt was it?"

"The black, short-sleeved, cotton one."

"You can keep it. I don't wear casual clothes too often, so that shirt won't be missed.

"Well, you got plenty of nice casual clothes today, so you better wear them."

"I'll wear them once, and then you can steal them," I teased.

Daphnie's jaw dropped as she playfully hit my shoulder, making me chuckle.

"So what should we do after this?"

Daphnie checked her phone.

"Why don't we go to your place and relax for a while. We still have time before we need to see Ben."

I nodded my head.

"Okay."

I felt content as Daphnie and I headed back to my place. I was glad that she felt comfortable being around me.

I opened the door and let Daphnie step in first.

After hanging up my coat, I sat at the end of the couch. I expected Daphnie to sit in the corner, but she came and sat right next to me. I smiled, put my arm around her, and pulled her close. She made herself comfortable, cuddling close to me. We fell asleep like that.

I woke up and checked the time; Ben would be out of recovery soon. I looked at Daphnie. She seemed so peaceful. I hated that I had to wake her up, but I told Ben I would be there for him when he woke up. I had to keep my promise.

"Daphnie."

She let out a sigh, and her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey." She said softly.

"We need to get going."

"Okay."

Daphnie slowly sat up and stretched. I stood up and held my hand to help her off the couch.

"Ready?" She asked me.

"Not really,"

I sighed.

Daphnie gently rubbed my arm. I took her hand, and we headed out the door.

Before I knew it, I was sitting next to the box to get a ticket to park in the parking garage of Mercy Hospital. I clung tight to the wheel and closed my eyes. Why was I struggling so much? After what happened earlier, I was scared.

I lowered my head.

"I can't."

I looked at Daphnie, and she looked at me with gentleness. She began to rub my back.

"I won't leave your side. If you step out of the room, I'll go with you."

I looked forward for a moment and nodded my head.

"Okay."

I leaned over to kiss Daphnie on the cheek. There were no words to say how grateful I was to have her in my life.

Ben

I opened my eyes to see Adam sitting next to me.

"Hey," he said in his usual rough voice.

"Hey."

"The doctors said you did great. You should be home in a few weeks."

"A few weeks? Can't I go home today?"

Adam chuckled.

"Don't forget you still have other injuries that need to be monitored."

"Compared to what you've been through, they're nothing. I can survive going home."

Adam's body tensed. I wondered what his problem was, but I realized my mistake as soon as I saw Daphnie from the corner of my eye. She had her eyes furrowed in confusion.

Crap. He hasn't told her.

"Very funny," Adam said. "A fractured leg can't compare to the mess you're in."

Nice coverup.

"I suppose it can't. It looked painful, though."

Just then, a nurse came in accompanied by my doctor.

"I'm glad to see you're awake. You did well and should be ready to go home in about two weeks."

"Great. I can't wait to get out of here."

"Hold on. You'll still need to take it easy when you're home."

"Are you serious?" I groaned.

"Ben, you're in bad shape. Honestly, I think we should keep you longer. You need to avoid stress."

The doctor looked at Adam, who seemed surprisingly calm. I looked at Daphnie, who was glaring at the doctor. If looks could kill, he would've been torn to pieces.

Hmmm... Already she doesn't like people talking wrong about him. Adam's quite a charmer.

"I'm assistant to the district attorney; I deal with stress for a living."

"Well, you should stay away from work for a while."

"I can't."

"I'm sure you can. Doctor's orders. Tell them that."

I let out a sigh.

"I'll talk to your boss," Adam cut in. "I'm sure something can be arranged for you."

The doctor looked at Adam and nodded.

"We'll be back to check on you in an hour."

The doctor stepped out while the nurse handed me a cup and walked out of my room. I looked in the cup; I was given Morphine again. I looked at Adam, who seemed anxious as he looked away.

I quickly swallowed the pills and said, "all clear."

Adam didn't look at me; he was probably embarrassed about his reaction to being in the presence of Morphine. I felt awkward.

"So," Daphnie broke the tension. "How about we play 20 questions?"

Adam

I sat at the kitchen counter, staring at a bottle of Tylenol. After dropping Daphnie off at her house, I stopped by a CVS to buy a 50-count bottle; it was easier to get compared to Morphine and cheaper.

I ran my fingers through my hair, ready to pull my hair out. I didn't want to go back down that path, but I craved the old feelings. I opened the bottle, pulled the cotton out, and took out one capsule. Baby steps; I didn't want to accidentally overdose.

My hands were shaking as I stared at the pill, and I began to sweat a little. It scared me. My past addiction scared me, and my desire for euphoria frightened me, and I scared me. Yes, I was afraid of myself.

I took a deep breath, put the pill in my mouth, and washed it down with a glass of water. It would take twenty minutes for the effects to kick in. I started to plan how to increase the dosage; I would need to wait at least a week before taking two pills. As I was planning, an image of Daphnie flashed in my mind. I suddenly realized I had so much to lose if I went down that path again.

What have I done?

I ran to my bathroom, leaned over the toilet, and forced myself to throw up, hoping I wasn't too late.

When I finished vomiting, I screamed. I had trouble breathing as I fell to the ground and started crying. I thought of Ben. He was there for me through all my struggles. He never gave up on me when I needed him. He always took care of me and did what was best for me. He put so much work into helping me get sober, and I wasted all of that.

Then Daphnie came to my mind. She deserved so much better, but I couldn't let her go. I had to protect her, and I needed her; she was my source of strength. It was thinking of her that calmed me down.

I sat on the floor with my knees pulled into my chest. I was trembling.

While I was wallowing in self-loathing, I remembered there was someone who needed to be taken care of for hurting the love of my life. I returned to the kitchen and grabbed my phone off the counter. I went through my contacts and found the right person to call.; it only took one ring for him to pick up.

"Yes, sir."

"Chad, I need your help."