3. The Proposal

Upon learning what happened, they came straight from school, and they come at me all at once in Seb's spacious living room. Simon, the gentlest of us all, immediately wrapped me in a hug. I feel warm and protected for a bit and it makes me smile.

That is until Brad, dramatic as ever, wraps me and Simon from behind while he cries, "I'm so sorry for not coming here sooner. You'll be okay, right? Please tell me you'll be okay." 

Brad's wailing makes Simon struggle, but he can't let go either, because Kier had joined the hug, followed by Cal, who seems disgusted at the thought but did it anyway. Seb is the only one who doesn't join the task of suffocating me, which I appreciate. But he doesn't make any attempts to stop it either. The jerk. 

"Okay...okay, guys! Enough...I can't...I can't breathe." I say, giving them a pained smile. Besides, I don't deserve it. 

Three years. I haven't seen my mother for that long. But even as her death becomes more real every minute, I can't bring myself to grieve. I just feel...nohing. 

"What happened to her?" Kier asks softly.

"It was late-stage breast cancer." Lucien's voice comes from outside the door. He acknowledges the boys with a serious nod before turning to me, "Ari, I'm guessing Sebastian's already told you the news. I'm so sorry for your loss. May I talk with you privately?" 

I blink my eyes at him, nodding. 

"Come with us, too, Sebastian," Lucien added, glancing at his son. 

I look at Seb, his face is still unreadable. But when I meet his eyes, he nods at me reassuringly. And that is all I needed. Silently, we follow Lucien to his study together, our friends wisely refraining from any noise as they take in the gravity of the situation. 

***

"Ari. You know you can tell me anything, right? Just because I'm no longer your stepfather, it doesn't mean that I don't care for you anymore. I made a promise to be there for you no matter what, remember? I plan on keeping that, Ari. But you need to be honest with me first." Lucien says as soon as we arrive in the room. "I still don't know why you left your Mom and her new husband in California."

My breath caught at the question and I tear at my nails with my hands, considering my next words. "I thought we talked about this," I tell him, feigning a smile, "Mom and I just thought it best that I move back here since I'm more comfortable here anyway. But she of course couldn't leave her life there just for me. So I left." 

None of my words convinced him, I'm sure of it. Why would they? My mother is dead. And I haven't shed a single tear about it yet. Something has changed between us before I left, and it's obvious to everyone. 

For a second, I expect Lucien to probe further, and I ready myself. But he nods instead, sighing, "Very well. I guess none of that is any of my business. I guess I should just be glad she at least trusted me with you, even if...well...even when our divorce was ugly." 

Seb clears his throat, and I feel like doing the same. To say that our parents' divorce was ugly is an understatement. But that isn't what struck me from what he said. 

"You talked to Mom?!" I exclaimed accusingly, the panic rising in my throat. "Why would you do that? She...she didn't tell you anything, did she?" 

Lucien raises his eyebrows, "Tell me what exactly, Ari?"

I stop, realizing my mistake. 

"That's enough, Dad," I start at the sound of Seb's voice. I almost forget he's beside me, still uncharacteristically quiet since the day started. "You promised you wouldn't interrogate her."

"Not interrogation, son. I'm merely asking a question."  

"A question that doesn't matter anymore. Ari's mother is dead. We should be comforting her, not asking her what went wrong between the two of them. It's none of our business anyway." Seb said. 

"Nothing went wrong--" I start to say, but since I am meeting Seb's eyes this time, I falter. I can't press on any further. He knows me too much. If I open my mouth now, everything will spill out. 

"Sebastian's right. I apologize, Ari," Lucien is saying, "I didn't ask to talk so I can interrogate you about your Mom." 

He walks toward me, planting his wide hands on both of my shoulders. I remember being intimidated by his height when I was a kid. Not much has changed now. But there is warmth in his brown eyes. They were warm back then, too, and I lived for those days when I used to call him 'father'.

"Listen, dearest, I know that the brief moment we had together as a family wasn't...the happiest. But I did love your mother, and I came to love you, too. I still do. I really want to keep that promise, if you'll let me." 

"I love you, too," I tell Lucien without hesitation, "But if you're talking about adopting me officially this time, I'm sorry but I can't allow it. I won't be your charity case." 

Lucien sighs, "But where will you go? I talked to your Mom, Ari. She said you took nothing with you when you left. No money, no clothes. You didn't even say goodbye." 

"I still have money left to pay for the dorms for the rest of senior year. The food is free there, so I won't have to spend money on that, too. And you know I can find a job right after graduation." I explain fast. 

"What about college? You want to go to college." Seb says quietly. 

I hesitate. As usual, he knows exactly what to say. And sometimes, I hate him for it. 

I open my mouth to respond, but Seb cuts me off. He walks closer to me, holding my eyes hostage. "Marry me, instead. And go to college. You can write as much as you want or do whatever it is you want to do. That won't be a charity. You would be my wife, living life as you please."