The Present
"What do you think will happen if I start telling everyone your deepest, darkest secrets?"
I crumple the paper in my hands as a familiar black shroud covered me. A clear threat. The third one I've gotten this week and this only has one explanation. My diary from 2013. It's been two years and I still haven't found it. Whoever has my diary really has it in for me. I need to figure out who this person is and stop them before they can start doing so. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes my head ache. And it's the start of Senior Year, too, when it's the busiest time for us in the Student Council.
"Do you think I can do photography?" A deep, cheerful voice calls behind me. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. I desperately schooled my features into something bright before turning to Cal.
He's wearing a dark gray sweater and black pants today, his curly brown hair wild on his head. Calvin Park. Music and art enthusiast. And the baby of our group of friends.
"I believe you can do anything you want, Cal," I tell him with a smile. I'm not just saying that lightly. I truly believe he can pull it off. He breathes and lives the life for it. His family owns several art museums in the country and dominates the music industry with its several successful labels. And just most recently, they established a school for music and the arts. He has been surrounded by that all his life, it's basically his identity.
"I don't know. It's really hard. It might take years for me to get the hang of it, and my schedule's already packed...." Cal starts to blather, as usual. It's his crutch, whenever something bothers him or if his game console is not around. It can be annoying at times. But the fidgeting and fussiness are his ADHD and autism diagnoses, and it's not Cal.
"You'll be fine. I can help you plan your schedule if you want." I say to him.
Cal's face brightened, "Really? You're the best Ari." Cal replied.
"Boo!" a voice creeps up behind us.
I startle, almost dropping the books that I've dug up from my locker. "Brad, I swear to God..." I turn to the guy with kohl-lined eyes, ready to smack the back of his head. But Cal has already beaten me to it.
"Ow! Dude! How many times do I have to tell you that you're not allowed to do that? That's Ari's job." Brad whines, rubbing the back of his neck. My eyes narrow at the gigantic bracelet he's wearing, one clearly meant for a girl. But I don't comment. Whatever new fashion statement their company is coming up with these days, Brad clearly love sit.
I scoff, "Because I have small hands and won't make much damage?"
"Exactly, " Brad says, then grabs my arm, "Now, come with me."
"Hey! I saw and talked to her first," Cal protests, indignant. His hand circles my other wrist, and now I'm stuck in a tug-of-war between the two of them.
I don't resist, used to it by now, although my arms strain from almost being pulled in two. People have started to stare at us, too, but that happens on a daily basis even without the boys doing stupid things. Besides, I see Seb heading towards us. He'll put an end to this.
"Seb--" I start to say, but something in his expression stops me. It's like he didn't even notice what is happening around him. Brad picked up on it, too, releasing me. Cal falls backward in the process.
"Aagh! What was that?!" Cal whimpers on the floor. I lose my balance sideways and trip over him. I close my eyes waiting for the fall. But Seb snaps out of whatever haze he's in just enough to reach out toward me, stopping my fall. His grip on my arms is warm and steady.
"Wh-What are you--?' I stammer, suddenly unable to meet his hooded eyes. I stare at his chest, my heart pounding, "Is everything okay?"
"Are you done with class? We need to talk," he tells me quietly.
"Uh-uh. No! I found Ari first." Cal complains from the floor, still unable to pick up on what's going on. "Mine's an emergency so whatever's going on with you, man. It's just going to have to wait."
"How about I'll help you instead?" Brad tells Cal, glancing at me meaningfully. "Now tell me all about it, okay?" He assists Cal from the floor. The latter continues to grumble but Brad grabs his head and makes him follow. I watch them leave, frowning.
"Let's go," Seb tells me.
"Oh, okay...." I answer hesitantly, the smile I've kept on my face now awkward. "Though I wouldn't mind you telling me what this is all about too, you know. Just so I can prepare?"
"Dad wants to talk to us," Seb says.
"Oh," I mutter, immediately falling silent as I walk beside him. Now that makes sense. Only Lucien can get this kind of reaction from Seb. It's been constant friction between them, with Seb not wanting to follow in his father's footsteps as a doctor. But Seb has been handling it well lately, taking it in stride. So, this must be something different.
Not for the first time, I lament the fact that even though my intuition is spot-on with everyone else, I can never do it with Seb.
"He's waiting for us outside. He also told me to tell you..." Seb takes a deep breath before finishing, "...that you'll be moving in with us as soon as possible."
I stop walking, "What? Why?" I ask. It isn't that I have a problem moving in with them. Lucien used to be my stepfather, after all. And Seb, my ex-stepbrother, for that matter. When I moved back here during Freshman year, they asked me to move in with them. I considered it but felt too ashamed to do so. I don't understand why they're asking again now, and why it seems like I have no choice in the matter.
"Seb. Seriously, what is going on?" I ask gaain, but he still gives me no answer and just keeps on walking, "Sebastian Laurent!"
The world stops and everyone stares at me as if I've gone mad. Normally, I'd have felt more embarrassed, but Seb's just being too much.
My scream must've worked though because he stops and turns back to me, hands in his pocket. My heart catches in my throat. In that stance, he looks like someone else we know. Our best friend Dave. The one who I am hopelessly, irrevocably in love with, despite his relationship with another friend of mine, Dina.
Seb inclines his head at me and for a second I fear that he's somehow read my mind. So, I clear my throat, "Sorry. I just--you're just being weird and it's giving me anxiety."
He blinks then sighs, "I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't want to be the one to tell you."
"Tell me what?" I ask him.
Seb is silent for a while before saying, "Your mother has died, A. I'm sorry."
Upon learning what happened, they came straight from school, and they come at me all at once in Seb's spacious living room. Simon, the gentlest of us all, immediately wrapped me in a hug. I feel warm and protected for a bit and it makes me smile. That is until Brad, dramatic as ever, wraps me and Simon from behind while he cries, "I'm so sorry for not coming here sooner. You'll be okay, right? Please tell me you'll be okay." Brad's wailing makes Simon struggle, but he can't let go either, because Kier had joined the hug, followed by Cal, who seems disgusted at the thought but did it anyway. Seb is the only one who doesn't join the task of suffocating me, which I appreciate. But he doesn't make any attempts to stop it either. The jerk. "Okay...okay, guys! Enough...I can't...I can't breathe." I say, giving them a pained smile. Besides, I don't deserve it. Three years. I haven't seen my mother for that long. But even as her death becomes more real every minute, I can't bring myself to
Sebastian Laurent. The idiotic genius. What the hell was he thinking?! I fan the heat that consumes my cheeks, kicking a pebble off the treehouse roof. This treehouse. The very same one where Seb and I used to play house together. My whole body blushes at the thought. Arrrghh. What is happening to me? I'm supposed to be in love with Dave. "A! Please get down from there. Let's talk about this! Don't be such a child!" Seb calls out to me from below. "Don't call me a child! Just go away! Get lost, Seb!" I shout back indignantly, knowing full well that he can't follow me up to the roof, "And don't think about sending our friends, because I'll be kicking their butts the minute they get up here." I don't really think Seb will involve our friends in this mess at all. He knows as well as I do that will be chaos when they hear about this. In fact, I don't see them anywhere, so they must still be inside the house wondering what the hell is going on. "How dare you, Seb! This isn't some
"Ready? Let's start. What happens when your friends find out you're nothing but a manipulative bitch? Answer: They'll hate and leave you, of course, one after the other." They're finally going to make their move. The pounding in my heart becomes louder and louder as I stand there, paralyzed. Since I got that first note, I swore to God I'd stop the person who has my diary. But I sat on it too long, too terrified that failed majorly, and now I have to suffer the consequences. "Ari, you okay?" Dina asks me. She wraps her arm around my shoulders, pinning me close to her. Ever since finding out about my mother's death, she hasn't left my side. I should be grateful for her presence, but it only served to worsen my guilt. I told her before she left for Botswana that I have no feelings for Dave anymore, but after seeing him again yesterday, I realize I am still far from getting over him. "Yeah, just...tired." I was inconsolable last night. Once it finally hits me that my mother is gone,
There. Plastered on the wall, in bright, cheerful colors, were the thoughts I had written in my diary. The yearning I held for David during those years that we are apart. All my feelings, my melancholia, splattered there for the whole school to know. In my periphery, I see Seb's worried face. He's asking if I was alright but I can not bring myself to answer. All around me, my peers discuss in hushed tones, most expressing their shock and pity while some judge me harshly. Harboring feelings for her friend's boyfriend. What a bitch. I don't even notice my feet move, but before I know it, I am running away. And just like always, I find myself in the highest place I can find. The school rooftop. My heart pounds in my ears, threatening to burst out of my chest. And suddenly, I feel nothing but white-hot anger. For the stranger who has just shown themselves determined to destroy my reputation. And for myself for being so pathetic. "Isn't it funny? I've known you for only about a year, a
I try not to get lost in his voice, just like I always do. But I can't help myself. I close my eyes, taking deep breaths. At the back of my mind, I find Dina. Dina, who's genuinely good. Dina, the girl Dave loves. Not me. It was never me. "Ari. Please say something." Dave's voice becomes loud enough to pull me back to reality, "You're going to Lucien's party this weekend, right? I know that with everything going on, you would want to be alone. But remember your promise." I sigh. How can I forget? After finding out about the letters, the boys make me promise over and over again to not shut them out from now on and let them keep me safe. And that apparently includes 24/7 surveillance where I have to be with one of them at all times. The first step? I have to move in with Lucien and Seb. That's why I'm standing in the middle of my old room now, feeling like I've just stepped into a time machine. The room's changed ever since I used it years ago, of course, but somehow it still feels t
I try not to drop the wine glass in my hand and kept the smile on my face. Onstage, Lucien's friends are having the time of their lives roasting him, the birthday boy. And all around me are the servers, my friends, and a couple of strangers that would absolutely judge me if I hurl right now. I'm reeling. Seb is acting crazy and he never acts crazy. He is one of the most sensible and logical people you'll ever meet. Thankfully, Seb is nowhere to be found. I don't think I can look him in the eye. All I could think about was my first day at Hector Park High, when I saw him and Brad in a diner for the first time in years. They didn't recognize me then, yet I panicked and left my diary. The diary I've now traced to be the reason for my extreme embarrassment at school the other day. Could Seb have picked it up? Could he be the one doing this to me? I shake my head at my wayward thoughts. This is Seb. I know him. We might fight every day of the week, but he would never do that to me. Or at
Kate Crawford comes at me with everything that she has. Her hands grip both sides of my head, taking a bunch of my curls in them, and her nails scrape my face as she let out a guttural scream. I stagger back at the surprise attack, almost losing my balance. "Kate! What the hell?!" I protest. "How dare you! I had nothing to do with those letters. Why would you tell Brandon Oh that I sent them?!" Kate yells at me, practically frothing at the mouth. "What the hell are you talking about?!" I ask her, still trying to defend myself from her attacks. What the hell is going on? Finding my chance, I wrap my hands around her wrists, stalling her move to slap me. Damn it. This is why Olive tried to stop me from going into the bathroom. "Okay, Kate, just...calm down. I swear, I have no idea what you're talking about. What did Brad do?" I ask Kate. She hiccups and suddenly, Kate becomes limp and starts to cry. I just stand there, still holding her wrists, not knowing what to do. "I know y
I stir and rub myself deeper into the comforter that surrounds me. Gosh, this bed is so warm. I can stay here forever. Wait... a bed? Without warning, I sit up, almost pulling a tendon on my shoulder at the sudden motion. I whip my head around, looking at my surroundings, and lightning shoots up inside my brain so I had to close my eyes again. I saw enough, though. I am in a room that I don't recognize. Where the hell am I? What happened? "Calm down. You're safe here with me." I scream at the voice and movement beside me. Seb. He's in the bed with me, shirtless. Panicked, I scoot farther from him on the bed, checking my own decency. Seb rolls his eyes, bringing an arm to cover his head as his head falls back down on the bed. The muscles in his arm flexed as he moved and I try not to stare at them, and especially not at his smooth chest. "Stop being so dramatic, A. It's not like we haven't slept together on the same bed before," he said, closing his eyes, his lashes impossibly lon
"Marrying someone he doesn't love? Didn't he learn anything from me? Please tell me you're not going to let him." Kier says as he angrily plays with his food. I don't blame him. Nobody likes the hospital cafeteria's food. It's Day 3 of Lucien's ICU stay and all of us had been taking turns in watching him, and Seb, as he refuses to go home at the moment. I sigh, feeling a twinge in my heart at Seb's words to me last night. I open my mouth to reply respond to Kier, ready to defend Seb's decision eventhough it broke me. But a voice over me interrupts. "That's exactly what I told him," I try not to show my surprise. It's Sara. Brad told me that she visited Lucien yesterday, but he didn't say anything about Sara visiting again today. Kier's eyebrows rise up as Sara seats herself at our table without invitation, continuing her speech, "His brain is supposed to be genius-level but can he seriously not get out of this one without compromising his future?" Sara huffs, taking a fry from
Lucien is in critical condition, and I am at a loss on how I can console Seb at the moment. He wouldn't leave his Dad's side, so I am left taking care of things at the house. To put my mind away from what's happening, I decided to clean Lucien's office before I'm set to leave for the again hospital myself. Dave has offered to drive me and he says he's now pulling in the driveway.I'm halfway into emptying the last drawer when I found a letter. Well, not quite a letter but a well-drafted contract by Seb about how Lucien shouldn't adopt me. It's dated around the time that I came back here from California. There, Seb also explained how he wished for me to be his wife. I begin to tear up. He even said he would be a doctor just so he could marry me. The contract was signed.But now, the company's in trouble and Lucien is suffering. This promise that Seb is willing to put out to be with me, how is he ever going to fulfill this? How can I ask for him to go through
Making love after a fight is the best. The way Seb is moving right now is enough to melt me. I was wrong, he was actually meeting Dave and the others when I ambushed him in front of his bedroom door. But after we made up, he immediately changed his plans."Ow," he winces as I accidentally scratch his backside."Sorry," I whisper against his mouth, pushing him further into me.He smiles and continues thrusting into my core, and I moan, feeling the heat builds up inside me."I'm close," I murmur on his neck, biting just beneath his Adam's apple."Yes, give it to me, baby," he coaxes and it isn't long until I'm helpless in his arms. A few seconds after I stop shuddering at the sensation he gave me, his movements become even faster as he seeks his own release.I nip at his ear, encouraging him with my words.Seb then grunts, pushing inside of me one last
I get off the phone with my lawyer in California. My flight to Cali is tomorrow and I can't be more nervous. I wonder how Olive is doing now. I haven't talked to her since our ugly confrontation at the cemetery. I guess she should be at least doing fine, as Brit is there with her. "Ari, can I talk to you?" an unfamiliar voice takes my attention. I whip around to see Sara beside me, gesturing for me to follow her to an empty classroom on our right. I frown. I've been trying to get thoughts of Seb away from my mind, which is hard enough with the two of us living in the same house. And seeing her seems to be equivalent to seeing Seb these days. "Sure," I say anyway, not wanting to start anything with her. As much as it pains me to think that Seb might have chosen her over me. It's not in my character to give a girl grief about it. Seb, however, I can be mad at. "I think you got it all wrong," Sara says as soon as we are out of earshot of our peers. I blink at her, "I'm sorry, wh
I guess I will forever be a coward. Seb is out tonight, possibly with Sara and I still can't confront him about it. Instead, I invited Dina over to get drunk. I don't tell her what's wrong, even she doesn't know about me and Seb. But she could clearly tell that I am hiding something."Something is bothering you," Dina remarks, narrowing her eyes at me as I down another glass. "You're usually not this heavy of a drinker."I laugh nervously, "What are you talking about? I just wanted a girls' night, Dina. We haven't had one of these since..." I trail off. The last time we drank was with Olive and Brit, and we had a great time, too."I think...what we can do now is to move on," Dina says, guessing correctly what I was thinking, "I want to think positively and say that everything's going to be alright between us and them, but...I don't think we can go back to what we were before."I open my mouth to reply, but there is a knock on my door, "A
"That weekend, in California. I finally visited Mom's grave." Seb's finger stops tracing circles on my thighs. He grips my waist, settling himself on my chest, not saying a word. "I thought I would break down again, but strangely enough, I felt calm." I smile as I recount, "Maybe because I got to talk to Olive before I came to her." "You were probably thinking that everything would be okay." Seb says, smiling at me. I smile back and gave him a peck. His lips are stained red, courtesy of the gloss from my lipstick. His hair a mess and there are scratch marks on his chest. I expect them, of course, we had a pretty intense night. A blush creeps up my face, even as I chuckle at the thought. This. The contentment that I feel with him makes my heart swell. I can stay in this moment forever. "What's funny? Huh? What's funny?" Seb asks, positioning to tickle the sensitive spot in the dip between my waist and hip. I squirm, screeching. "Shhh...Lucien might hear you." I clamp down my m
I know it isn't going to be easy making things right with Olive. Even as she agreed to my plan, she isn't talking to me yet, and only does so when it involves the case against Lyle. I also know that it isn't going to be easy convincing Kier and the others to drop the charges against Olive. So, in order to do that, I had to tell the boys my deepest darkest secret, the truth about my life in California. Feeling like I just ran a marathon, I slump in the sofa of our living room, spent. It's hard for me to remember the things that my mother and I went through living with Lyle, and even harder for me to tell the boys about it. I close my eyes, unable to look any of them in the eye. Beside me, Seb moves, as if he's unable to stop himself from touching me. But I know he wouldn't. He had promised to give me space. Plus, our friends don't know about us yet. I don't know how they will react if they found out that Seb and I were keeping our relationship from them. The silence stretches inside
The California air does not burn through my lungs anymore. But then again, it didn't try to do that the entire time I was here. That was only when Cassie died. "Is this really the best idea? To talk to her alone? A, you're smarter than this." Seb says on the other line as I walk through a wide path in the cemetery. Once I've explained everything to Brit, she was calm enough to at least hear us out about what we want to do next. Hours later, and I've landed in California. I sigh, "Do you really think I'm here alone? She says she's staying at the hotel but I know Dina is here somewhere, ready to jump in and rescue me in case anything happens," I reply, almost smiling. Having Dina as a friend is like having a bodyguard. "Yes, and about that. Is it a good idea for Dina to skip classes? Last I heard, she's failing most of her classes due to several absences." Seb says, "You should've taken me or Dave with you, really, any of the guys will do." I sigh, "I know. And I heard you told Lu
My hands shake as I pick up the cup of tea that the waitress just gave me. I finally did it. I called the number, and the blackmailer agreed to meet. After telling her of my suspicions and about the number that the blackmailer left me, Dina insisted on coming with me to confront her. I couldn't argue so she's currently sitting just two tables behind me, and I can feel her gaze burning a hole through my back. The bell to the cafe's door rang and I look up nervously, and behind a man in a dark suit entered a woman. I close my eyes, steeling myself. She isn't what I expected but it was close. "Brit." I murmur as she approaches my table, "Don't tell me...are you...?" "Ari?" Brit asks, taking a seat in front of me, her forehead scrunches in confusion, "What are you doing here?" I frown too, "I...um...I was just...what are you doing here?" "This is Olive's family's cafe," Brit replies. Olive. The sound of her name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The moment Dina spelled it all o