August 21, 2013
I was wrong, my mother wasn't losing weight merely because of Lyle. Cancer was eating her up from the inside for months and she only endeavored to tell me now. And now she's telling me to go away.
"I hate you!" I scream at her, "Are you insane? I'm not going to leave now. He...you know what he's done, Mom, and he threatened to do it to you, too! Do you really think I'm going to leave you here with him? He's going to kill you!"
My Mom smiles at me sadly, "Does it matter, Ari? Does it really matter when I'm already there?"
"Mom, please, don't say that." I plead with her.
"It's true, Ari." she responds, "And you know what? It's freeing, in a way. And that's what I want for you, too. To be free. This is my last gift to you. Not that I...not that I have been thinking of your welfare these past few years. I've only been thinking of myself, huh? Bringing you into this hellhole.
Seb looking at me with pity still haunts my dreams. It's probably stupid of me. I told him I didn't mind him knowing how devastating my life back in LA was, but now that everyone else knows about it. Somehow, it kills me to continue standing by his side. I don't deserve him."You're spiraling in your head again. I know that look. Stop it." Dina observes from beside me. Yesterday, when my bleak past was revealed to the whole school, I pushed her aside, begging to stay at her house for the weekend. An act of self-preservation on my part, since there's no way I can face Seb right now. And Lucien...Lucien will know something is wrong."I still don't understand why it's very hard for us to pin this person down." Dina continues. "This is really getting out of hand, Ari. Do you think we should take up Kier's suggestion about a private investigator?""Maybe," I tell her sadly. I suddenly feel devoid of energy.Dina looks at me seriously fo
"Ari." Seb's soft voice brings hot tears to my eyes. Of course, he knows where I am. Even if Dina or Dave hadn't told him. He always knows. "I need to see you. Can I go there, please?" "Seb, I---" I begin, but the words stick in my throat. "I'm sorry but I don't really want to see you right now." I'm still so ashamed about what happened. Last night, I really thought about it, and I am scared for him, too. Who knows what secrets of his will be revealed to the world? Maybe...maybe if I stayed away from him, away from the others, too, the blackmailer won't target them. I even had to file a leave of absence from school just to do exactly that. I hear Seb's sigh on the other line, "Okay..." he says begrudgingly, and I almost smile at the thought that he's pouting right now, "But A, not for long, okay? I miss you. We miss you. You know we do stupid things when you're not around...so once we get all this stuff figured out, you better come back to us. Do you hear me?" I blink, "Wh--what
My hands shake as I pick up the cup of tea that the waitress just gave me. I finally did it. I called the number, and the blackmailer agreed to meet. After telling her of my suspicions and about the number that the blackmailer left me, Dina insisted on coming with me to confront her. I couldn't argue so she's currently sitting just two tables behind me, and I can feel her gaze burning a hole through my back. The bell to the cafe's door rang and I look up nervously, and behind a man in a dark suit entered a woman. I close my eyes, steeling myself. She isn't what I expected but it was close. "Brit." I murmur as she approaches my table, "Don't tell me...are you...?" "Ari?" Brit asks, taking a seat in front of me, her forehead scrunches in confusion, "What are you doing here?" I frown too, "I...um...I was just...what are you doing here?" "This is Olive's family's cafe," Brit replies. Olive. The sound of her name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The moment Dina spelled it all o
The California air does not burn through my lungs anymore. But then again, it didn't try to do that the entire time I was here. That was only when Cassie died. "Is this really the best idea? To talk to her alone? A, you're smarter than this." Seb says on the other line as I walk through a wide path in the cemetery. Once I've explained everything to Brit, she was calm enough to at least hear us out about what we want to do next. Hours later, and I've landed in California. I sigh, "Do you really think I'm here alone? She says she's staying at the hotel but I know Dina is here somewhere, ready to jump in and rescue me in case anything happens," I reply, almost smiling. Having Dina as a friend is like having a bodyguard. "Yes, and about that. Is it a good idea for Dina to skip classes? Last I heard, she's failing most of her classes due to several absences." Seb says, "You should've taken me or Dave with you, really, any of the guys will do." I sigh, "I know. And I heard you told Lu
I know it isn't going to be easy making things right with Olive. Even as she agreed to my plan, she isn't talking to me yet, and only does so when it involves the case against Lyle. I also know that it isn't going to be easy convincing Kier and the others to drop the charges against Olive. So, in order to do that, I had to tell the boys my deepest darkest secret, the truth about my life in California. Feeling like I just ran a marathon, I slump in the sofa of our living room, spent. It's hard for me to remember the things that my mother and I went through living with Lyle, and even harder for me to tell the boys about it. I close my eyes, unable to look any of them in the eye. Beside me, Seb moves, as if he's unable to stop himself from touching me. But I know he wouldn't. He had promised to give me space. Plus, our friends don't know about us yet. I don't know how they will react if they found out that Seb and I were keeping our relationship from them. The silence stretches inside
"That weekend, in California. I finally visited Mom's grave." Seb's finger stops tracing circles on my thighs. He grips my waist, settling himself on my chest, not saying a word. "I thought I would break down again, but strangely enough, I felt calm." I smile as I recount, "Maybe because I got to talk to Olive before I came to her." "You were probably thinking that everything would be okay." Seb says, smiling at me. I smile back and gave him a peck. His lips are stained red, courtesy of the gloss from my lipstick. His hair a mess and there are scratch marks on his chest. I expect them, of course, we had a pretty intense night. A blush creeps up my face, even as I chuckle at the thought. This. The contentment that I feel with him makes my heart swell. I can stay in this moment forever. "What's funny? Huh? What's funny?" Seb asks, positioning to tickle the sensitive spot in the dip between my waist and hip. I squirm, screeching. "Shhh...Lucien might hear you." I clamp down my m
I guess I will forever be a coward. Seb is out tonight, possibly with Sara and I still can't confront him about it. Instead, I invited Dina over to get drunk. I don't tell her what's wrong, even she doesn't know about me and Seb. But she could clearly tell that I am hiding something."Something is bothering you," Dina remarks, narrowing her eyes at me as I down another glass. "You're usually not this heavy of a drinker."I laugh nervously, "What are you talking about? I just wanted a girls' night, Dina. We haven't had one of these since..." I trail off. The last time we drank was with Olive and Brit, and we had a great time, too."I think...what we can do now is to move on," Dina says, guessing correctly what I was thinking, "I want to think positively and say that everything's going to be alright between us and them, but...I don't think we can go back to what we were before."I open my mouth to reply, but there is a knock on my door, "A
I get off the phone with my lawyer in California. My flight to Cali is tomorrow and I can't be more nervous. I wonder how Olive is doing now. I haven't talked to her since our ugly confrontation at the cemetery. I guess she should be at least doing fine, as Brit is there with her. "Ari, can I talk to you?" an unfamiliar voice takes my attention. I whip around to see Sara beside me, gesturing for me to follow her to an empty classroom on our right. I frown. I've been trying to get thoughts of Seb away from my mind, which is hard enough with the two of us living in the same house. And seeing her seems to be equivalent to seeing Seb these days. "Sure," I say anyway, not wanting to start anything with her. As much as it pains me to think that Seb might have chosen her over me. It's not in my character to give a girl grief about it. Seb, however, I can be mad at. "I think you got it all wrong," Sara says as soon as we are out of earshot of our peers. I blink at her, "I'm sorry, wh
"Marrying someone he doesn't love? Didn't he learn anything from me? Please tell me you're not going to let him." Kier says as he angrily plays with his food. I don't blame him. Nobody likes the hospital cafeteria's food. It's Day 3 of Lucien's ICU stay and all of us had been taking turns in watching him, and Seb, as he refuses to go home at the moment. I sigh, feeling a twinge in my heart at Seb's words to me last night. I open my mouth to reply respond to Kier, ready to defend Seb's decision eventhough it broke me. But a voice over me interrupts. "That's exactly what I told him," I try not to show my surprise. It's Sara. Brad told me that she visited Lucien yesterday, but he didn't say anything about Sara visiting again today. Kier's eyebrows rise up as Sara seats herself at our table without invitation, continuing her speech, "His brain is supposed to be genius-level but can he seriously not get out of this one without compromising his future?" Sara huffs, taking a fry from
Lucien is in critical condition, and I am at a loss on how I can console Seb at the moment. He wouldn't leave his Dad's side, so I am left taking care of things at the house. To put my mind away from what's happening, I decided to clean Lucien's office before I'm set to leave for the again hospital myself. Dave has offered to drive me and he says he's now pulling in the driveway.I'm halfway into emptying the last drawer when I found a letter. Well, not quite a letter but a well-drafted contract by Seb about how Lucien shouldn't adopt me. It's dated around the time that I came back here from California. There, Seb also explained how he wished for me to be his wife. I begin to tear up. He even said he would be a doctor just so he could marry me. The contract was signed.But now, the company's in trouble and Lucien is suffering. This promise that Seb is willing to put out to be with me, how is he ever going to fulfill this? How can I ask for him to go through
Making love after a fight is the best. The way Seb is moving right now is enough to melt me. I was wrong, he was actually meeting Dave and the others when I ambushed him in front of his bedroom door. But after we made up, he immediately changed his plans."Ow," he winces as I accidentally scratch his backside."Sorry," I whisper against his mouth, pushing him further into me.He smiles and continues thrusting into my core, and I moan, feeling the heat builds up inside me."I'm close," I murmur on his neck, biting just beneath his Adam's apple."Yes, give it to me, baby," he coaxes and it isn't long until I'm helpless in his arms. A few seconds after I stop shuddering at the sensation he gave me, his movements become even faster as he seeks his own release.I nip at his ear, encouraging him with my words.Seb then grunts, pushing inside of me one last
I get off the phone with my lawyer in California. My flight to Cali is tomorrow and I can't be more nervous. I wonder how Olive is doing now. I haven't talked to her since our ugly confrontation at the cemetery. I guess she should be at least doing fine, as Brit is there with her. "Ari, can I talk to you?" an unfamiliar voice takes my attention. I whip around to see Sara beside me, gesturing for me to follow her to an empty classroom on our right. I frown. I've been trying to get thoughts of Seb away from my mind, which is hard enough with the two of us living in the same house. And seeing her seems to be equivalent to seeing Seb these days. "Sure," I say anyway, not wanting to start anything with her. As much as it pains me to think that Seb might have chosen her over me. It's not in my character to give a girl grief about it. Seb, however, I can be mad at. "I think you got it all wrong," Sara says as soon as we are out of earshot of our peers. I blink at her, "I'm sorry, wh
I guess I will forever be a coward. Seb is out tonight, possibly with Sara and I still can't confront him about it. Instead, I invited Dina over to get drunk. I don't tell her what's wrong, even she doesn't know about me and Seb. But she could clearly tell that I am hiding something."Something is bothering you," Dina remarks, narrowing her eyes at me as I down another glass. "You're usually not this heavy of a drinker."I laugh nervously, "What are you talking about? I just wanted a girls' night, Dina. We haven't had one of these since..." I trail off. The last time we drank was with Olive and Brit, and we had a great time, too."I think...what we can do now is to move on," Dina says, guessing correctly what I was thinking, "I want to think positively and say that everything's going to be alright between us and them, but...I don't think we can go back to what we were before."I open my mouth to reply, but there is a knock on my door, "A
"That weekend, in California. I finally visited Mom's grave." Seb's finger stops tracing circles on my thighs. He grips my waist, settling himself on my chest, not saying a word. "I thought I would break down again, but strangely enough, I felt calm." I smile as I recount, "Maybe because I got to talk to Olive before I came to her." "You were probably thinking that everything would be okay." Seb says, smiling at me. I smile back and gave him a peck. His lips are stained red, courtesy of the gloss from my lipstick. His hair a mess and there are scratch marks on his chest. I expect them, of course, we had a pretty intense night. A blush creeps up my face, even as I chuckle at the thought. This. The contentment that I feel with him makes my heart swell. I can stay in this moment forever. "What's funny? Huh? What's funny?" Seb asks, positioning to tickle the sensitive spot in the dip between my waist and hip. I squirm, screeching. "Shhh...Lucien might hear you." I clamp down my m
I know it isn't going to be easy making things right with Olive. Even as she agreed to my plan, she isn't talking to me yet, and only does so when it involves the case against Lyle. I also know that it isn't going to be easy convincing Kier and the others to drop the charges against Olive. So, in order to do that, I had to tell the boys my deepest darkest secret, the truth about my life in California. Feeling like I just ran a marathon, I slump in the sofa of our living room, spent. It's hard for me to remember the things that my mother and I went through living with Lyle, and even harder for me to tell the boys about it. I close my eyes, unable to look any of them in the eye. Beside me, Seb moves, as if he's unable to stop himself from touching me. But I know he wouldn't. He had promised to give me space. Plus, our friends don't know about us yet. I don't know how they will react if they found out that Seb and I were keeping our relationship from them. The silence stretches inside
The California air does not burn through my lungs anymore. But then again, it didn't try to do that the entire time I was here. That was only when Cassie died. "Is this really the best idea? To talk to her alone? A, you're smarter than this." Seb says on the other line as I walk through a wide path in the cemetery. Once I've explained everything to Brit, she was calm enough to at least hear us out about what we want to do next. Hours later, and I've landed in California. I sigh, "Do you really think I'm here alone? She says she's staying at the hotel but I know Dina is here somewhere, ready to jump in and rescue me in case anything happens," I reply, almost smiling. Having Dina as a friend is like having a bodyguard. "Yes, and about that. Is it a good idea for Dina to skip classes? Last I heard, she's failing most of her classes due to several absences." Seb says, "You should've taken me or Dave with you, really, any of the guys will do." I sigh, "I know. And I heard you told Lu
My hands shake as I pick up the cup of tea that the waitress just gave me. I finally did it. I called the number, and the blackmailer agreed to meet. After telling her of my suspicions and about the number that the blackmailer left me, Dina insisted on coming with me to confront her. I couldn't argue so she's currently sitting just two tables behind me, and I can feel her gaze burning a hole through my back. The bell to the cafe's door rang and I look up nervously, and behind a man in a dark suit entered a woman. I close my eyes, steeling myself. She isn't what I expected but it was close. "Brit." I murmur as she approaches my table, "Don't tell me...are you...?" "Ari?" Brit asks, taking a seat in front of me, her forehead scrunches in confusion, "What are you doing here?" I frown too, "I...um...I was just...what are you doing here?" "This is Olive's family's cafe," Brit replies. Olive. The sound of her name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The moment Dina spelled it all o