Chapter 1 | The Accident

It was a quiet, moonless night, shrouded in an oppressive deep fog. I bolted, lungs burning, legs screaming, yet the earth-shaking hoofbeats seemed impossibly close. 

I trod off the dirt path and plunged deeper into the forest. The thick oak canopies made it harder to see. Twisted branches snagged at my clothes and sent me tripping onto the damp undergrowth as my knees buckled with fear. 

Clip-clop! Clip-clop! 

The rhythmic clop of hooves steadily grew louder, a relentless counterpoint to the frantic hammering of my heart.

Should I climb a tree? Do I even have time to climb a tree? Yes, I should stay put, up there hidden somewhere, until he gives up looking for me. A flicker of desperate hope ignited. Lurching towards the sturdiest oak, I reached for a low branch.

Just as I grasped it, a towering silhouette of him and his majestic horse appeared from the swirling fog.

His roar, "Think you can escape me?" echoed like thunder through the silent forest.

Abandoning the tree, I plunged back into the undergrowth. My breath rasped in my throat, every muscle screaming in protest. The fog clung to him, blurring his form, but the raw anger radiating off him was palpable.

A gnarled root sent me sprawling, the ground rushing up to meet me. The hoofbeats faltered. I held my breath, paralyzed by terror. The horse circled, its rider a silent, imposing figure. He didn't need words. His very presence radiated a chilling intensity.

The silence stretched, broken only by the rasp of my ragged breathing. He finally dismounted, his movements deliberate as he approached. With a swift, almost gentle motion, he scooped me onto his horse, my body pressing against his unyielding warmth. We galloped through the night, the wind whipping at my face, the trees blurring into streaks of grey. 

"Please," I rasped, pleading for mercy that wouldn't come. He ignored me, his face etched with an emotion I couldn't decipher.

Curiosity battled fear. I stole a glance at his profile, only to see the sharp line of his jaw beneath a dark beard. An impulse, inexplicable and urgent, took hold. My hand reached out, tracing the rough contours of his face, then, against my will, moved to brush against the flex of his bicep.

He stiffened, but I couldn't stop. The close proximity, the intoxicating mix of danger and desire, was overwhelming. The cold night air and his impassive demeanor sent shivers down my spine. Yet, an inexplicable urge to close the distance between us made me wrap my arms around him, seeking warmth and comfort.

He reacted instantly, pulling away roughly and pinning my arms behind my back. The pain jolted me back to reality. "Ouch! I have bones in those arms, you brute!" My protest was met with a glare that stole my breath.

Fear battled with a strange new sensation, a tingling awareness that pulsed between us. Despite the pain, my body betrayed me, my nipples hardening against his chest. I struggled against his grip, my voice trembling, "Please, it hurts."

His grip softened. He leaned down, his forehead brushing mine, the scent of leather and woodsmoke filling my senses. Our breaths mingled, and his voice, rough and husky, sent shivers down my spine. "You want to run away from me, huh?"

My body felt like it was on fire. His touch ignited a yearning I couldn't understand. He released my arms, his hands moving with a purpose I both feared and craved.

"Oh, Allena.." He groaned in a husky voice as he pulled me closer into a hug. His eyes were filled with a mix of raw desire and affection.

The world dissolved into a whirlwind of touch, heat, and desperate need. Just as I reached the precipice of oblivion, a shrill sound pierced the fog—a siren, its wail growing louder with every passing moment I struggled to focus. His warm green eyes were fading away as the fog thickened.

I jolted awake, tangled in my sheets, the dream fading like smoke. The panic subsided, replaced by a strange sense of longing.

Who was this man? Who was Allena?

How could someone I'd never met feel so real?

Rubbing the sleep off my eyes, I checked my phone and panicked. Wasn't I supposed to meet Jonathan at our usual coffee spot by now? He was my boyfriend and wanted to meet to discuss something important. 

The coffee shop echoed with the clatter of cups and the murmur of conversations; a soundscape that usually felt comforting. Today, it only amplified the frantic beat of my heart. My fingers tapped impatiently against the worn tabletop as the clock on the cafe wall mocked me with its relentless tick-tock. 

Jonathan was late. My stomach churned, replaying his vague text about being "caught up." This wasn't like him. He had been distant lately.

My gaze drifted out the window, where the bustling Milwaukee Avenue seemed a world away from the turmoil within me. Memories of the strange dream played in my mind, strong arms, emerald eyes, and the raw passion that still lingered on my skin.

As the door creaked open, I snapped back to the present, expecting to see Jonathan’s apologetic smile. Instead, he just walked in, his gaze downcast, a stranger draped in the familiar skin. No kiss, no hug, just an awkward shuffle towards the chair.

"Hey," I said, my voice tight.

"Sorry I'm late," he mumbled, avoiding my eyes as he scanned the menu.

His next words hit me like a physical blow. "Ally, we need to talk. I got accepted into the MIT program, and I'm leaving for Boston at the end of January."

My breath hitched, the world around me dissolving into a blur. A forced smile stretched across my face, mimicking the joy I desperately wanted to feel.

"Wow, that's amazing, Jon! Congratulations!" I exclaimed, my voice strained and brittle.

He offered a smile that never reached his eyes. "It's going to be hard," he began, his voice strained. "The distance..."

My denial bubbled up, interrupting him. "Boston isn't that far! We can make it work." My voice held a desperate edge.

He sighed, his eyes filled with turmoil I couldn't decipher. "Ally, you know how much I need... physical intimacy. Long distance... it wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"And then there's the matter of our... differences," he continued, his voice laced with a hint of regret. "You with your art history courses and um, and me with my algorithms and data mining."

A spark of anger flickered within me. "So, what? We can't pursue different careers?"

He shook his head slowly. "It's more than that, Ally. Art is... well, it's more like a hobby to me. We are two very different people. I don't think we are even compatible."

Where was all this coming from? Did it take him five years to realize we were not compatible? My world crumbled around me, leaving behind a heap of shattered dreams and unspoken words. Before the tears could spill, I stood up, my voice choked with unshed emotions.

"Don't worry, Jon," I managed, forcing a smile. "I won't make a scene. Adios."

Without looking back, I rushed out of the door, into the biting Chicago cold. The icy December wind felt like a slap in the face, a harsh reality check.

The familiar warmth of Jonathan's presence was gone, leaving behind an emptiness that echoed the hollowness I felt inside. My family, though physically present, had always felt distant. My parents got divorced and dad met someone else the same year. Mom was on and off with a few men for five years before getting lucky in love again. Ever since, she has been very busy taking care of my stepdad's two little kids. I felt like an unwanted guest at holiday dinners and family outings. But with Jonathan, I'd found a connection, a sense of belonging I hadn't known I craved. And now, even that was being ripped away.

Hot tears welled up, blurring the holiday decorations and the twinkling lights of the city.

Oh well, this was going to be another lonely Christmas. I wished these holidays didn’t exist. They brought so much pain and depression every year.

Another blast of chilly wind hit my face. Chicago suddenly felt colder than it already was. I quickly turned right to cross the street, oblivious to the screech of tires and the blaring horn. The world dissolved into a blinding flash. A hand reached out to brush away the blood-soaked hair from my face.

The world grew quiet as the gnawing pain I felt in my heart and my body was slowly fading away, replaced by a cold peace and numbness.