Friday Morning Pt. I

Beep!

Beep!

Beep!

      It is Friday, I roll over and turn off my alarm with a little more enthusiasm than needed. Last night I had that dream again except the guy didn't leave me behind, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the light with him. It feels like my dreams are mimicking my reality because I feel myself coming alive with each passing day. I check the weather to figure out an outfit for today and proceed to begin my morning ritual. The weather isn't going to be too bad, low sixties and partly cloudy. I'll wear my white v neck t shirt, destructed light blue jeans, and boats shoes. I put on my necklace with the peacock pendant and put on a little lip gloss to finish my look for the day. This week has gone by so fast and with each day I change a little more for the better.

Knock

Knock

Knock

"Lena could you give us a ride to school, we don't feel like walking and dad's already gone," Journee yells outside my door.

"Yeah, I'll give you guys a ride. I'll be out in a few minutes," I call back. I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash and moisturize my face, and fix my twist out. I put on a little body spray and grab my jean jacket, bag, and wristlet and leave my room.

I get to the kitchen and see that Journee is there and ready, but Jackson isn't anywhere that I can see him.

"Where's Jackson? Are you guys ready or what," I ask looking around for him.

"He's fixing his hair, he should be ready soon," Journee says.

"Okay, is mom here or did she leave too," I ask.

"She went in to the office today, she said she had a morning meeting with a client or something," she says looking me over.

"Ah, okay," I say.

"Sis, you look nice today. Are you okay," Journee asks.

"Yeah, I'm better than okay. Thanks," I say smiling at her. I should've known the twins would notice my changes even though they're still in high school they are perceptive to things like this.

"That's good. It seems like you're in a better mood or headspace I should say," Journee says.

"It's been a while huh? I was lost a little while ago; I don't plan on going back there," I say to Journee.

Her and Jackson have had a front row seat to my depression and self-imposed isolation and have been stepping up to be more responsible in the wake of it all.

"Yeah, it has. I'm glad you overcame your depression sis. We knew you would," she says smiling at me.

"Yeah, I am too," I say walking over to squeeze her hand reassuringly letting her know it's all going to work out just fine.

"Yoo, big sis! Why are you dressed so nice? Got a boyfriend or something," Jackson asks as he slings his bag onto his shoulder.

"Nope, no boyfriend. Just feeling myself, can't I do that," I respond back to him knowing he's just being silly.

"Yeah, I guess. It's been a minute though, I'm glad you feeling yourself sis," he says patting my head because he's protective of me even though I'm the older sister.

"Thanks Jackson and you too Journee. I really appreciate it guys! Now let's get y'all to school before y'all are late," I say proudly. They really are growing up fast, it's only a three year difference between the twins and me, but I've always been responsible for them. We leave and lock up the house and go to my car. The twins both sit in the backseat leaving the passenger seat available for my bag, I let the car warm up before pulling off.

"So what have you guys been up to? I haven't seen y'all like all week," I ask the twins.

"What have YOU been up to," they reply in unison. I see they're in sync this morning.

"Huh," I say feigning innocence. I haven't been home before they go to bed all week and barely see them in the morning. I've been hanging out and studying with the girls all week it's been really chill being around them again.

"You haven't been home like all week, for real," Jackson says.

"Right, so do you have a boyfriend," Journee asks following right behind Jackson.

"Nah, I told y'all before I don't have a boyfriend. I've been hanging out with Rylie and Nova; studying and having dinner," I reply to their interrogation.

"Uh huh, it's been a long time since you've looked like this though. All happy and what not. Hair all done and lip gloss poppin'," Jackson says perceptively.

"Yeah, I know. That break up with Jay was bad for me y'all. I was lost for a while; I'm just finding my new self and practicing a little more self-love," I say candidly. The twins have always been perceptive and I've never really tried to hide anything from them because I literally can't. They notice everything and can be very understanding.

"Yeah, we know. That's why we can't forgive him," Journee says seriously.

"You should. Forgive and move on. I am, it wasn't easy for me, but once the haze lifted I ran whole heartedly out of it. I don't hate him anymore, it's not worth my energy and you guys shouldn't waste your energy on it either," I say with the wisdom I've gained from the whole ordeal.

"Yeah, you're right big sis," Jackson says.

"Thanks y'all I appreciate you guys more than you know," I say because it's true. I pull up to the school and they get out the car.

"Thanks sis, see you later," Jackson says and hops out of the car.

"Thank you, see you later," Journee says closing the door and following behind Jackson.

"No problem," I reply before the door slams.

      Whew! What a morning. I have to get something to eat, I could go home and make some breakfast…or I could go to the café. The café, I decide. I turn on the radio and listen to some old school R&B music on my way there. The conversation with the twins replay in my head again, they are maturing right before my eyes and I'm proud of them. There are times when they fight and don't speak to each other, but it never lasts long because they can't stand not speaking to each other for too long. Now anyone else they're giving the silent treatment to be out of luck, when one is mad at you, they're both mad at you like a married couple. I guess it's a twin thing. I'm glad they gave me space during the whole ordeal and were even nice enough to comment on my outfit and mood this morning.