A D A M“Have you seen Naya?” Everyone I have been asking just shake their heads for the last two hours. I've been wandering around hoping to get answer. It's hard to concentrate and I try to hide my worry. I have to show a just-curious look at her whereabouts so Chloe won't suspect something isn't right. The last time I saw Naya was when she kissed me out of the blue last night. Then she never once again comes across my way. Is it my fault? Did she go back home already?I feel bad. I feel so bad. This is all my fault. Nobody but me. “What are you doing here young man?” Mrs. Lee approaches me. I've never had a conversation with each other ever before. But how I perceived her as my teacher is always been good. I honor her for such a wonderful job, regardless that I have always wondered about her life. “I'm just thinking,” I tell her.She nods slowly, taking that as an honest answer.I should probably ask her. “Have you seen Naya around?”She looks at me briefly then glances behin
N A Y AMy tears are streaming down on my cheeks. My heart aches for pain. If I could just tear it out of my chest, I would. Detaching it would probably help lessen the wounded emotions I have felt. I feel so weak in my own skin. My bones are dry. I could barely open my eyes. I cannot lift my arms. Adam came to my rescue. It's making me feel embarrassed after all the avoidance we've been spreading out to each other or at least of me to him. Most of all, I feel betrayed. It's an intense emotion I couldn't grasp at this moment. I knew Chloe did it. She was the last person I was with. It must be her. But I can't bring it to Adam to know. I just can't for now. Knowing they have been getting along well, I can't afford to be the reason for him hating her. Having him here beside me, comforting me, giving me solace after all the messed-up states I've been in, he's here. I'm grateful. “Do you want to eat or something?” He asks. I've been holding onto the sleeve of his left shoulder. Digging
A D A M“Where did you get this from?” Her voice is making stoned.I put down the bag on the ground. How will I explain myself now? I've been keeping this for weeks. And here I am caught by her. The silver bracelet is still hanging around her fingers. “Remember the night we first met? You thought I was a thief. But before that, I found that at the bottom of the staircase, Naya.” I knew it was hers. I remember clearly that it was only her that I saw that night. We were the only people on the campus so I am ninety-nine percent sure. The shock in her eyes is evident and she brings it down and looks at it. While I move to step forward toward her. “You kept it.” She whispers to herself, staring at it in disbelief. “But why now?”“I didn't want to give it back.” I let out a laugh. “But now I have a reason to do so. Let me put it on you.” I am close enough to her that I can almost feel her breaths. She stares at me blankly. Then she looks away. She's still in disbelief. “What is your re
N A Y A“Thank you for coming here,” I tell Adam. We're still sitting and staring at the expressionless distance ahead of us. My head is on his chest while he's running his hand on mine. I'm only holding onto his other hand. “I will always come to you. I will always look for you just for your information.” He says. I can hear the sincerity and seriousness blend together in his voice. I look up at him and smile. He smiles back. “How did you know I was missing. Do you always have that curiosity about my where I could be?” “Honestly, I had a feeling something is wrong. It's not that I am always curious but that my guts are telling me to look for you. ” He explains. “I wanted to find you, Naya.”I don't know what to say to that. I thought he has all his attention on Chloe. I had never expected him to be here. I'm still processing it. “What if...” I stop. “Okay. Let's say I ran away. And I never wanted to be found. Would you still look for me?”He shrugs his shoulders. When I look down
A D A MThe world doesn't have to know who you love or what things you do with someone you love spending your time with. That's what I think I should do until Naya suggests that if we find a way to get out from here, she wants to let Chloe know. Pretty much everyone, including Justin. And, yes, Cannon too.“We need to find a way out,” Naya says to me. We've been looking for possible ways we can get back up and the way out of this forest, but the grounds are slippery and there is barely something we can hold onto. “Should I try this time?” She gives me a nod not looking at me. “Please, be careful.” She helps my feet land on the last rock but I slip right back to the ground. She lets out a frustrated sigh. Her arms are on her hips while I try to think of another way. “Do you have your phone with you?” I ask.She shakes her head, “No, I don't. I don't know where it was.”Maybe that's why nobody could pick it up when I was trying to call her. But Naya stays calm amidst losing her thing
N A Y AIt's been almost twenty-four hours. And finally, this time after looking for so many ways to escape from the trap we were in, we finally escape away. Now we're walking the way back to the campsite. I still have the small memories of those moments right before I was taken away by Chloe. I still remember the feeling when I caught her and Adam kissing in the background. Those moments when I steal glances at him but I can't help but smile at the way he would the same. Maybe those glances mean something more than words could have been.“Have you ever felt guilty kissing Chloe in front of me?” I ask Adam as we continue to walk hand in hand. My head still hurts a little bit unlike the first, I wasn't too comfortable walking.He nods saying, “I do. Every single time. What about you? Do you think you shouldn't have kissed Justin at the back of the bus after that moment we had in the bookstore?”I almost gasped at the mention of that memory. That feels like forever ago. I couldn't eve
A D A MYou know it when it's time to cherish every moment when you know deep inside that later you'll be leaving. So I'm thankful that I found her. I'm thankful she allows me in. I'm thankful that she has forgiven me despite every pain I've put her in. I didn't mean to be hideous when it comes to treating her right. She deserves someone who's there to protect her from the pain and not cause her it. I only have a few days before I go back home. Before I finally disappear. And right now it's killing me knowing that she'll no longer be someone I will be next to after that. It's hard to say that I have grown to love her even if it seems that we only have a short time spent together that's why I want to spend it with memorable memories. Maybe one of the worst things a person can experience is counting the days before leaving. And also the one of the most painful is the leaving.If only we could go back, I would make sure it's a different place and time we could have met each other. “Wh
N A Y AIt's only been a day since we got home. Adam stayed with me last night but early this morning, he went back to his apartment to get something done. He didn't tell me what he was going to do. Right now, I'm just getting ready since he texted me a few hours ago that we'll be having dinner outside.I'm nervous again. I feel these butterflies whirling around my stomach every time I do something romantic with Adam. It's been a while since the last time a guy ask me for a dinner. Is it considered a date? I would say it is but I wanted to take it slow between us. I have never been in a relationship ever since me and Ryan. I don't know. It didn't take me much desire to be with someone. It's just until I bumped into Adam out of nowhere. I never noticed him. I never had a single thought of him. I just never saw him even with Chloe before. Perhaps that's because I could barely match a path with Chloe. After all, our friendship was starting to fall apart and getting forgotten.A knock on
It's been raining for days now. The colder it gets the less likely I want to get up from the bed. The rain keeps pouring out day and night, leaving me always cold and crumpled up in my bedroom for a week. So I haven't been outside the city until tonight when I decided to grab some coffee instead of ordering it online.New York City looks so gloomy but it's the busiest city I've ever known. Everyone's busy catching their dreams across the streets and buildings. This could be the city I would love to be in.While the raindrops fill the streets, and as I wait for the pedestrian line to open in a green light, I stare at the girl from the other side of the sidewalk. She stands there wearing a pink floral dress with her long sleeves that hang low past her elbows. Her eyes are hiding under the umbrella and the reason I am staring at her is because there's something about her lips. The way her deep pink lips rest still in an emotion-less line. There's something about them. Her hair spreads in
A D A M1 YEAR LATER...“Adam you should eat,” Olivia says next to me in bed. “Please, fix yourself. Naya won't like this if she's here.” I just stare at the space on the wall across the room. The sky is bright. I haven't watched the ocean today outside my huge window. They didn't look pleasing as they used to be. I missed her, so so much. EVERYDAY. Olivia walks away from the bed and walks into my closet. “Your mother prepared your clothes so you can take a shower and wash that smell of beer on you.” She's stuffing between the hangers now. “Just don't go to the bar anymore, Adam. Please, look after yourself. Go get some haircut or something.” There's a hind of motivation in her voice but I can still clearly hear the disappointment. Everyone is disappointed in me. I would be if I were them. But it's hard to find the courage to move and take care of myself when I see no light. I don't know where I start. I don't know if I'm worth to ever live again. When Naya died that night, I lost
A D A MI think I have almost ten glasses of vodka already. I feel my head spin around the room. But I can see Naya and that guy in the coffee shop laughing, smiling talking, perhaps flirting too. Why does it hurt so bad to watch someone you love laugh with someone else. It's been three months and it hurts me knowing she jas moved on. This is what I wanted for her. Why can't I be happy? She deserves this. I deserve to see it. I deserve this pain. My prayer was for her to be happy with or without me by her side but I didn't understand now that I'm seeing the evidence of her being happy, it break my heart again. I wasn't supposed to see it. I was inside the coffee shop but I didn't recognize her with short hair. She looks so beautiful in that hair. The moment I was outside and look inside, I recognize her smile. It's been three months since I saw her smile. I wonder how long she's been dating that guy. They look so happy enjoying each other's company. I wish I am that guy. “Chloe?”
N A Y A 3 MONTHS LATER...“Thank you.” I take the go-to cup of my coffee and smile at the girl behind the counter. What a tiring day but still it's beautiful and worthy of coffee.“Naya!” The brunette girl I met from the park three weeks ago is sitting at one of the tables across the room. I wave back at her and don't watch where I'm going. I am about to push the door open when someone pushes before I can be able to. He bumps into cause my coffee to spill over my white shirt. It thuds on the floor and I just stare at the hot burn feeling on me. “I'm sorry, miss. It was an accident.” I eye the guy. “Ryan?” “Naya?” I think he can recognize me enough. “Hey, wow, your hair. You look different from the last I saw you.” He hugs me. He looks different too. He looks expensive. “Yeah. I cut my hair short a few weeks ago.” I tell him further. It's nice to see a familiar face. “How are you?” Someone from behind wants to pass our way. “Can I...if you don't mind buy you another coffee and
A D A MI can hear Olivia's voice downstairs. She is still the same. She greets my mother and asks her how she's doing. That's just her. With respect and I have admired that from her. Our gazes meet as I walk down the stairs. Her smile fades away from being sweet to melancholy. “Adam.” I think I hear a whisper. She walks toward me and gives me a warm hug. “It's nice to see you again, Olly.” I smile at her. We pull away from each other. She eyes me up and down quickly. “Look at you. Fresh and coming back. And you still call me, Olly.” Her innocent smile appears. I haven't seen that for so long. “Well, I'm only glad you're back, Addy.” I laugh at the cringy sound of our old nicknames. My mother clears her throat, “I have to leave now. Please, do enjoy your reunion and make it up. ” She hurries to the door and just like that we're alone in this house. My mother never hired a maid or a driver ever during the marriage life she has with my father. She's very hands-on with every task i
A D A M “Dude, you're joking, right? Like right now in this very early morning, you're leaving?” I can hear the frustration in Cannon's voice. I know she's worrying about Naya too. “You can't just go be in love and leave just like that. You have to tell her. Come on you can do better than this.” I look at the time on my phone and still, it's 6:04 in the morning. She's right. I can do better than this but it's not that easy for me. “Cannon, I can't. I just left her. I can't go back. I'm at the train station and waiting for my train.” She sucks a deep breath and releases it. “What do you want me to do?” I look up at the white ceiling. “Please, if she asks about me don't tell her I'm marrying someone else. Just that.” “What?” She yells. “Are you stupid? Adam, that's even worse than finding out you're gone after taking her virginity. Sorry, it's not what I meant. What I was trying to say is I can't just tell her that you're marrying someone else. It's lacking something. That wil
N A Y AI wake up to the heavy sound of the rain outside my window. When I turn to the left side, Adam's spot is empty already. “Adam?” I whisper to myself. It's more of a worry-filled call that I hope I am not thinking about right now. I call him from my room to the whole place, hoping I will hear an answer from the bathroom somewhere close. My gaze lands on the empty shelves where Adam placed his bag when he brought it here from his place. His shoes are gone. His jackets on the back of the door are gone too. I remove myself from the bed and check the bathroom. It's empty. The closet. Still empty. I take the courage to walk out of the bedroom. The hallway is quiet down and I still the dripping of water from the broken faucet in our kitchen. The kitchen is empty. The dining place is empty.I start to panic.I start to worry.I start to get sad.I start to feel alone. My feet find their way to my parents' bedroom. Still, I would he would have decided to take a look at it or someth
A D A MI am not only worried about what will happen to me. I am also worried about what will happen to us by the time I go.“Adam?” Naya calls, while my arms are wrapped across her chest. I insisted to visit the rooftop where I first recognize her. Technically, the first time we met was when that night she has mistaken me for a thief. “Yes, babe?” A giggle comes out of me. I think every time that babe word takes over our name, it hits different. “I think I had a terrible dream about you leaving.” She says in a lonely tone of voice. I wait for her to continue. “We were sleeping together. And something you said made me very not happy. As far as I can remember unasked you if you want me to wait for if ever you leave me, and you said no. And I woke up crying the next morning. It was a rare dream because my eyes were closed the whole time. I couldn't see actually. I hate that dream.” Her hold on my arms tightens and I tighten my arms around her too. She thinks it was a dream. It wa
N A Y A“So where did Adam find you?” Cannon asks next to me. We find our seats in the cafeteria and now she's been curious about what happened. Honestly, I don't want to talk about it yet but she's my friend. It's time to tell her something. “In the forest. ” “Conscious or not?” She behind peeling off her banana. “Conscious.” I've been thinking about this moment. Where everyone would ask me questions. I hate that I have to recall that moment when I had my head wounded. My hands were tied behind and I have my fave on the ground when I woke up. It was a horrible time for me, that's why right now. If anyone would ask, I decided to twist the story a little. I told Cannon that I ran away because I couldn't help but get sad about missing my family. I didn't put Chloe's name on the story anymore. I'm just tired and I want to move on. I'm still hurt but I think it'll hurt more if everything that happened will occur in the words of those who are involved in that incident. I just want to