Chapter Five - I Was Not Over Her

VALENTIA'S POV

She watched as I left my office. I mentally cursed at myself a thousand times for blurting that out. What was wrong with me? Why didn't I just shut the hell up.

Things were getting harder everyday with Olwethu working here. Feelings I thought were buried a long time ago were surfacing and it wasn't good at all.

I have worked so hard to get to this point... yet this was just difficult to ignore.

After the ordeal of me having an affair with Olwethu back then.. I almost lost everything but mostly what I feared for was my freedom. I almost lost my freedom.

But I was thankful to the principal for giving me another chance even though it was something I didn't want.

Four years ago I made the most difficult choice and went against my heart. It was the most awful thing to do but it was good for me I guess.

After apologizing to my wife I don't know for how long, she finally forgave me and I then vowed never to let anything come between us. Never to worse let anyone come between us.

It was not as easy when we fixed things in the beginning. She still didn't trust me and I knew that was all on me and me only. So I tried to gain it back. We moved in together in Sandton and I started my own company.. the first year was hard because competition was tough... but Zai was here supportive all the way and that gave me strength never to give up...

Things started working out and I started publishing books.. and when I started being busy my mind and heart started to shut down the existence of my feelings for Olwethu. I always had something to look forward to or work on that it made my feelings for her bearable. I always kept myself busy so I wouldn't think about her a lot.

It was difficult I don't wanna lie. Having to wipe her off my life knowing that she was all I ever wanted.. It was like leaving half of my heart and functioning with the rest that was left.

I used to secretly visit her social media once in a while and it would make me happy knowing she posted a picture of her and her mother.. meaning their relationship was growing which was beautiful. I'd then get a bit jealous when she posts her and Jasmine, but I was happy that she has forgotten about me and seemed happy.

Life in two years was crazy busy for me and Zai but we kept together and tried to keep us going. Which turned out to work pretty well and we were a bit comfortable now. I have regained her trust..

Now when the company started blossoming I had to go overseas and promote other books, she'd trust me and I would meet women but non of them topped what I felt for Olwethu. Non of them made me feel the need to pursue them.. instead I'd think about my wife back home..

Which had me asking myself what the fuck Olwethu had that was so different. I mean I was working with the most beautiful models for shoots and advertising or promoting books and I'd feel nothing. Yet I couldn't hold myself when it came to a cute annoying smart 17 year old.

Life was really weird...

I sighed and picked up my shit and went to my car downstairs in the parking lot. Getting ready to go back home.

A month ago we put up an advertising wanting an editor to help us with the competition we were running. I had to go to Los Angels and promote another book.. So I left the interviews to be ran by HR.

When they told me that they found the right Candidate and that she was dedicated and amazing, I was happy for real..

Coming back to work and meeting this person was what I couldn't wait to do. So when monday arrived I was excited.. only to bump into my ex in the elevator. It was the scariest shit ever.

When the encounter happened and I realized who it was I was out of breath, not because she literally poured me with hot tea, but because she was standing there in a dress that was holding on to every piece of her body and she looked all grown up and sexy as fuck... I knew I was in trouble.

I was taken off guard and God it took me a while to finally catch my breath. I mean what are the odds of meeting your ex at the same building you work at... even though I wasn't surprised that she was there because there's a lot of media houses and she was insanely talented... it then killed me when I saw her in MY company and in my office as the new editor.

I had no fucken idea what to say or how to even react. I mean how does one react? Finding out that you are going to be working with someone who completes you and holds this huge part of you.

It was difficult as fuck. Having to stand next to her while she looked like that. She was just so matured, she wasn't only this hot woman bodywise, she was this smart woman too. It made all the feelings I had buried to resurface and I was just having a difficult time living.

I'd go back home and Shit wouldn't be the same. I was so happy that Zai hardly noticed because she was concentrating so much on us decorating the house and changing a few things.. so she was just there. I knew I needed to tell her and I was planning on it soon.

When days continued, these crazy intense sexual stares I would exchange with Olwethu would drive me insane. And the final straw was last Thursday when we almost kissed.

It sucksd like hell, but for her to show up the following day with a girl killed me. It made me feel a bit insecure and all shitty.. worse when I realized that girl and knew her from one of the promotions we did.

Paige was everything.. beauty and brains and she was very nice, so if they were dating. All I had planned to do was suck up my jealousy and let her be.. I mean I had a wife also.

What happened tonight was just crazy.. me blurting out if Paige was her girlfriend or not wasn't planned. It just fucken happened and it pissed me off because the look she gave me I couldn't read. Was I being too much? Didn't she want me like she did anymore? I mean I'd understand, I did break her heart.

I drove back home determined to actually tell Zai about Olwethu working for me. My marriage was at a safe place.. we weren't perfect and most definitely had fights that lead us to sleeping in separate rooms.. but it was safe.. so I didn't want to keep this from her.. because it could add unnecessary problems.

The drive back home was me just thinking about how I'd go about with this and shit. How she'd react.. God.. I was in shit.

I got home well and parked the car then went up to the kitchen. My wife wasn't there. I put the car keys where they stay and started unbuttoning my shirt. I needed a hot bath.

"Wife.. I'm home..." I yelled going up.

"In here babe.." she responded and instead of going to the main bedroom I followed her voice.

She was on one special room that has just been added.

"Guess what arrived.. the furniture for in here.." she said excitedly pulling into a kiss.. long deep kiss that I returned.

"Hi..." I said after pulling away and she laughed,

"sorry, I just missed you... and I'm like super excited..."

I looked around the room and there was some material for the built in wardrobe.. I turned to her, "nice.. this is really amazing babe.."

"I know.. so how was your day at work?"

"It was just okay babe... and how was yours?"

"Fantastic.. I mean look at this room."

I looked around more and nodded my head.

"So.. baby remember that editor post we put up before you accompanied me to L.A to promote Amelia's book..."

"Yes baby.. did you finally find someone? Sorry I meant to ask but my mind has been pretty busy."

I sighed a bit, "so HR handled it like I asked them during the interviews and they did find someone.."

"That's great.. so who did they find baby..?" She asked looking away from me and checking the material in front of her.

I cleared my throat, "so I've been meaning to tell you, it's just that work has been crazy busy and we need to announce the winner in a month... so they hired Olwe...."

"God babe I think green would be perfect for these walls.." she cut me off and I just looked at her.

She turned and then looked at the wall, "I mean imagine it.. and then the bed will be over here and.. God this will be beautiful I can already see it."

"We said not green.." I said and she smiled innocently, "babe please.. I mean Mariah's son loves green, so it will be good when they visit..."

That just pissed me off.

"It's either Blue or purple like we initially talked or these walls stay like this Zai..."

"Vee calm down I'm not trying to agrue with you.. I was just saying it will be good to have his favorite color here.."

"Well, ain't it good that this is my house... Joel has his home and there's green in his bedroom, this is our house and here is the room that will belong to the kids of this house, so we won't paint it green."

She sighed, "okay I'm sorry.. I didn't.. I don't wanna fight..."

I sighed trying to calm down, "me too please.. I don't wanna fight."

"Okay then. So who did you say was hired?"

Oh now she was fucken changing the topic because I mentioned the children thing...

I shook my head, "I'll go bath and hit bed. I have a long day tomorrow.."

She sighed, "babe..."

"Have a goodnight Zai when you're done there..." I said leaving her there.

You'd ask yourself why I was getting this worked up. But for the past year I have been trying to talk Zai into starting a family.. at first we would talk well and she'd say she isn't sure if the time was right because the company needs her...

Lately I tried to bring it up but we'd end up having a serious fight, so the baby talk was a sensitive subject and she tried to avoid it by any means or just create small fights about it a bit... like she did back there.

I bathed and went to bed straight away. She wasn't there when I arrived, so I just set my alarm and went to sleep.

..

Work was great compared to home sometimes because it meant not fighting about little things.

The tension between Olwethu and I kept on being strong as fuck. Worse now that we were working late. We would share these stupid moments.. where I just want to do nothing more than seal our lips together and taste her. But crossing that like would be me fucking up.. so I tried by all means to stop myself.

On Tuesday I had lunch with Zai at Sandton city since we weren't seeing each other a lot.

I took my wallet and phone then went to the front desk, "Jerry. Want something to eat?"

"Umh... let me see? You going out?"

"Yeah my wife has a meeting here and they are finishing up so I'll be back around your lunch..."

"Okay, I can't afford it.. whatever you wanna get me.. issa no.." the guy said and I laughed, "really Jeremy? I'm offering to buy you lunch here... take the offer.."

"Oh Jesus boss lady you should be specific... you know my favorite.. please get me a bottle or red wine too.."

"You're pushing it now.."

He laughed, "Coke will be fine... thank you for offering to buy me lunch.."

"And what does one have to do in order to get lunch offers too?" Olwethu said walking in. I hadn't seen her today and she looked as sexy like always. She was wearing a black and white dress that was over her knees with one long sleeve. Her hair was short.. She kept it short.. God this child looked sexy as fuck.

She cleared her throat since I didn't respond, "do I need to come work at the front desk in order for my boss to buy me lunch too?"

"Honey you already have someone buying you lunch.. don't make me say it." Jeremy said and that shut Olwethu up.

"Okay I'm out.." I said and Olwethu furrowed her brows, "now? It's 10 and lunch is at 12..."

"Oh.. God when you are going to have lunch with your hot ass wife, you'd leave early too..." Jeremy said and the look I saw on Olwethu's face had me feel like shit.

"Okay.. bye..." and she went back to her office after saying that.

I turned to Jeremy, "umh.. Jerry, questions that are addressed to me in my presence should be answered by me next time.."

"Yes boss..."

"Thank you.. now, do take my calls..." I said and winked and he smiled.

I walked out and walked to Sandton City since it was just here.

"Hey..." I kissed her cheek when I arrived and sat next to her. She smiled and put her phone away, "hey baby... how are you. Sorry for stealing you."

"It's okay.. so did you order anything for us.."

"Yes. Your favorite babe... drinks are here. How are you.."

I smiled, "good. How was the meeting?"

"It was amazing babe, we now have to seal the deal by just signing the contract, which will be next week Thursday..."

"I'm really happy for you.." I said and suddenly a kid came running and bumped on my knee on me.. I was about to ask if he was okay but he just kept on running. I laughed, cute thing..

"Watch your step.. you don't wanna get hurt.." I said he looked back, shouted, "sorry..." and then he kept running.

Our food arrived and we started eating, "he is cute.." I said and Zai looked at me, "who?"

"That small kid who bumped into me, he is cute..."

"Oh okay.." she said coldly.

I sighed and finished up eating. This was killing me to be honest and she knew it.. and she wasn't even trying to meet me half way.

When we were done I left Zai sitting and went to pay.

Again I felt something brush on my knee. I looked down and I saw the same kid who bumped on me earlier.

"Hi.." he said looking at me shyly.

"Hey baby how are you?"

"I'm okay.. my mommy said I should come and say sorry for bumping on you earlier. It was rude of me to run away."

God he was cute, I smiled, "it's okay, you were not hurt right..?"

"No he wasn't... he just was rude to shout a sorry and keep running.." a woman almost my age said approaching me, "hi.. I'm Leah and I do apologize for my son's behavior.."

I smiled, "Vee here... it's okay, kids are a handful and they have their own mind."

"Do you have your own...?" The woman asked and I shook my head, "no not yet..but I can't wait."

"Well take your time... but once you decide to, it will be the best thing ever.."

"Hey baby sorry I took long..." another woman came along. This one's appearance was manly like mine, she was wearing a white suite but had long hair.

"Vee this is my wife Tia.. baby this is Vee, the woman Owen pushed earlier.."

"Oh hey Vee, I'm so sorry about what this little monkey did..." Tia said picking his son up and he kissed her.

This was just killing me. Watching them made me remember what I wanted now. A family of my own.

"Do you guys mind if we like exchange numbers.. I'd definitely like to see this little monkey..." I said pointing at their son and Tia quickly exchanged numbers with me.

I finished paying and turned to them, "thank you so much guys..."

"Baby can we go..." Zai arrived and I introduced her then we left the restaurant.

I got food for Jeremy and Olwethu..

We hardly said anything to each other with Zai. I just kissed her cheek and went back to my office.

I was pissed to be honest. Seeing Tia and Leah with their son kinda added to my shit list and I was pissed.

To make things worse, I got to the office and found Paige talking to Jeremy and Olwethu.

"God no this one is cute.. I can't wait to have my own family and have mini me's running around the house.. God..." Olwethu said pointing at her phone.

Paige laughed, "really babe..? That's cute, I can already see you in a big tummy looking like you swallowed a golf ball."

"Fuck you Paige..." Olwethu said and I let my presence be known by clearing my throat,

"Hey guys... umh, Jeremy this is yours and Olwethu can you walk me to my office now..." I said and left them there.

I switched on my computer and literally sat down taking a breather. My door opened revealing Olwethu and her sexiness. God this child. And hearing her say she can't wait to have her own family and kids just fucked me up. Thinking about my life, that was just fucked up.

"Yes boss...?"

"Work... how far?"

She started fidgeting with her fingers, "umh Vee I haven't done that much I just..."

"Just what? Just what? Have company during working hours.. that is unacceptable... can you please go do what you are paid for... please!" I snapped.

I saw something shift in her and I regretted what I said, but it was too late. I already said it so there was no turning back...

"Yeah Mrs Louw, I'm sorry. It will never happen again."

I sighed, "Olwethu..."

"Let me go do what I'm paid for..." And she got out of my office..

I felt like shit throughout the day. She didn't even stay up late as usual or take the food I got for her.. which I didn't blame her. I was a bitch towards her.

Like I honestly had no idea what to do besides being cold towards her.. either I was going to kiss her or be a bitch.. this was the safest way. I wasn't going to ruin my marriage again by being unfaithful no matter how awful things were in that marriage.

I got home and went straight to taking a bath. When I reached bed I thought about my new friends that I met earlier today.

I took my phone and dialled Tia.

'Tia what's up?'

"Hey Tia, it's Vee how are you?"

'hey you.. how are you... Baby Vee is on the phone...'

'I'm coming.. I'm coming, just tugging Owen in bed..' the wife responded from a distance.

"Please tell her to say goodnight to Owen..."

She did as I asked and then we talked until her wife joined in. I now had my phone on loud speaker.

'you know I honestly can't wait for you to experience this.. I saw how your face lit up when you saw Owen with my wife..." Leah said and I smiled, "that time will come Leah don't worry.. soon my little baby will be visiting Owen for playdates..."

'yes of course... so, when are you and your wife joining us for dinner or something.. can't wait to see you guys again and actually get to know you.'

"Umh guys I'd have to talk to my wife about all that okay... and then we can discuss when we can meet.."

'great, it was nice talking to you okay.. and when we meet it's more baby talk. We will see you eii....'

Leah said and I smiled, "sleep well you guys."

I hung up and turned to see my wife giving me a look I couldn't read.

"So what? You'll tell the whole world that you want a baby?"

"Zai I didn't do that... Leah was just planning on having some dinner with us and her wife.."

"Well you can have dinner with them. I'm not coming there where I'll be forced to have a baby.."

That cut deep.. I furrowed my brows at her, "you aren't being forced to do anything.. Zai I'm not.... I'm..." I got up.

She held my hand stopping me, "Babe I didn't mean it like that I just.. I feel like I'm being pressured into this.."

"Well Zai you're not. I'm not forcing you into anything.." I said looking at her and she nodded, "I know.. I'm sorry.."

I pulled away from her and got inside blankets, "sleep well."

..

My Friday was just shitty but I tried to not look like shit. I had on my navy blue shorts and a white long sleeve shirt and white sneakers.

Today was hot so I didn't dress that much. I went to work still mad at my wife. This thing between us was bothering me. But I tried not to show it.

I got to the office early and today Olwethu was wearing navy skinny jeans, a white blouse and white sandals. This girl was seriously going to be the death of me.

I went to my office, staying away from her was the best thing because I swear to God if I had spent more than 10 minutes with her I was going to do something stupid.

The day went by pretty fast and around five Olwethu walked in my office.

"I have like 5 left, which I'll finish now and then start working on reading all the ones I picked.." she said.

I got up suddenly not knowing what to do. Her blouse was unbuttoned a bit and was showing her cleavage.

God...

Olwethu was going to be the death of me.

I walked straight to her and stood in front of her..

"Valentia.." she said seeming shocked. I mean there was literally no space between us.

I was breathing heavily, I wanted her, I missed her so so much.

"Vee...nooo Please" she whispered in a shaking voice..

I held her ass and pulled her towards me. Slowly buried my face on her neck. Fuck she smelled good.

I pushed her backwards and sat her on my desk.. my hands moved up from her thighs to her waist and I held on tight... Then slowly I moved them up to her shoulders.

"I can't..... I can't... Olwethu we can't..." I whispered.

I removed my hand from her shoulder and we faced each other. It was written right on her face. She wanted me too... but I couldn't.. I couldn't cross the line again..

I leaned over without even thinking... When our lips were only an inch apart I pulled away.. Like something suddenly kicked me back to reality.

She gasped in shock and I shook my head before leaving her there.