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The memories I regret with all my might.
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Sindhu and Gautham continued to banter. But after a while silence filled between them. Sindhu started to walk along the shore and Gautham followed suit. After a while, Gautham reached out for Sindhu's hands and made her look at him, and asked in a soft voice, "Why did you panic??"
"You just caught me off guard I guess. Moreover, just the term "Marriage" scares me shitless." Sindhu brushed off Gauthams hands and walked away from the shore and sat on the sand. Seeing that Gautham was still standing, she patted the space next to her silently asking him to sit near her.
"As I said, you don't know me well Gautham.", Sindhu said looking sideways at Gautham.
Gautham once again reached out for Sindhu's hands and held them in his. He looked at their joined hands and then looked up at Sindhu and asked in an earnest voice, "Then tell me about yourself because I wanna know everything about you."
Sindhu let out a loud sigh. Her whole life flashed past her in a matter
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Sindhu woke up to traffic noise. She dozed off 5 minutes into the ride. Seeing that Sindhu had finally woken up, Gautham asked her, "Where do you want to eat??"Sindhu looked around her and she recognized where they were, quite easily. She thought about it for a minute and asked, "Do you like Maggie??" Gautham said, "Yes, why?"Sindhu did not answer but instead, directed him to drive to an apartment building near where they were. It was on the outskirts of the city. They were about half an hour away from her home.Gautham gave Sindhu a confused look. "Where is this exactly??""Oh, this... This is my apartment of sorts, I guess. My parents don't know about this place. Come on. Let's go." Sindhu said in a matter-of-fact voice."Well, that explained everything. Thanks for nothing." Gautham said sarcastically following Sindhu inside the building.The strong stench of paint and thinner hit his nostrils as soon as he stepped inside. Now that explains ev
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Gautham went into the kitchen and stood beside her. He could see the guilt and regret eating her up. He could feel her barely holding on. He felt as if one wrong move from him and she will break to pieces.Gautham carefully rubbed her head first and he tucked a few stray hairs behind her ears. He took the vessels from her hand and closed the taps. He gently pulled her so that she would face him. What he saw tugged at his heart. For once Sindhu seemed vulnerable. It seemed like she was showing her true self to him. The person she had hidden behind cold stares and cheeky grins."Hey... look at me," Gautham said softly.When their eyes met, her eyes told them all -her pain, her despair, her guilt, her regret, and her insecurities. Gautham knew he cannot be careless so he chose his words carefully."I am not going to stand here and trivialize your mistakes to make you feel better because frankly, I don't really know half of it and I have not been in your shoe
Little girl's wild side And my god does that girl make me feel things...
To Gautham's surprise, when he entered his own home, he actually found his mother still awake. She was sitting in the living room with a book and specs. She looked up removing her specs as soon as she heard Gautham come in. You can see she was tried and pissed."Where were you today?? I heard you took half a day off from the office. You should have called to let me know that you were going to be late home", Renuka asked and scolded with an underlying concern."I was with Sindhu.", Gautham replied simply but came and sat beside his mum and leaned on her shoulders. The unease in his mind was visible on his face. Gautham was pretty close to his family, particularly to his mum and Renuka knew Gautham as the back of her hands."Don't tell me you have a problem with Sindhu's drinking habit. Then I will have to call my own son a male chauvinistic pig and I know I raised you better than that.", Renuka asked jokingly but her eyes were actually serious.Gautham let
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It's been two weeks since Gautham and Sindhu went on the bike ride. Sindhu had been caught up with work after that so they hadn't met after that. They barely talked except for a few text messages here and there. It's been driving Gautham crazy. It didn't sit well with him the fact he can't see her. He missed her terribly even when the time they actually spend together was very meager and they had only been apart for two weeks. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. So he popped at her office on Saturday. Its past 8 pm and she was still busy with some papers. One of her staff let him in. Gautham was now sitting in her office watching her work. Her brows frowned in concentration. She kept flipping some pages in a file and crosschecked it on the laptop. She was so engrossed in her work that she didn't even realize him staring at her the whole time. But Gautham didn't mind. He liked to observe her work. There was a different kind of allure to her when she was working. Wheneve
Little girl's wild side It's driving me crazy you know.
Sindhu listened attentively but then stayed quiet for a long time. She just leaned on Gautham's shoulder and Gautham just let her be.After what seemed like hours Sindhu finally spoke, "I am trying... I am trying not to doubt myself... but it's just so hard." Sindhu paused and shifted her head to look straight into Gautham with clear vulnerable eyes and asked, "Is it really okay to trust myself again??"Looking at Sindhu, Gautham's breath got stuck at his throats. At that moment Sindhu did not look anything like a 27-year-old girl who confidently runs an office by herself. She looked like a little girl asking her parents whether she can accept candies from a stranger.At that moment, Sindhu looked as if she will believe anything Gautham says. And that almost brought him to his knees. Her trust in him humbled him.Gautham simply brought her into his embrace and said, "You can." His voice was firm when he said it without an ounce of doubt. He could not even imagine
Little girl's wild side Truth hurts, baby!
When Gautham reached home, he found his mum and dad still awake and bickering in the living room.As soon as Govind saw Gautham, he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "Renu, look your loverboy is back??" You can clearly see the relief in his eyes as soon as Gautham walked in. He even dared to wink at Guatham to play along. But who as his wife...Renuka smirked at Govind and said in a mocking voice, "Shame on you Govind. You are using our son as a distraction. And you thought it's going to work on me. How long have we been married and you still don't know better?"Govind hung his head down and looked pitiful. Renuka's face softened slightly but she still told in a stern voice, "You better call Mr. Arjun tomorrow and sort it out. Or else don't bother coming for dinner tomorrow night."Govind nodded obediently and said, "Yes, mam."Gautham let out an amused chuckle seeing his parent's antics.Govind knew that he was slightly clumsy when it comes to
Little girl's wild side I will give this my best shot.
On the other side of the city, Sindhu had a hard time falling asleep. She kept tossing and turning on her bed. At last, sometime past midnight, she gave up and got up from her bed. She went towards her cupboard and pulled a latch hidden on its side ambiguously. She then stepped back. The cupboard suddenly slid to the side revealing a door. The door had some fancy electronic lock. Sindhu punched in the password and opened the door and stepped inside.It revealed a room as big as the kitchen, living room, and her bedroom put together. It was a rectangular room. The whole apartment was divided into two parts. The front half was the kitchen, living room, and bedroom. And the other half was this room.The wall right opposite the door was painted with a matt dark shade of yellow. And the whole wall was filled with framed paintings. The wall was very big and there were at least 30 paintings covering the whole wall except for the 2inch gaps between each painting. All had the s
Little girl's wild side Aren't you too old to be taking perverted pictures?
John and Steve were the only two people with whom Sindhu was still in contact from Bangalore. Sindhu thought back to how they met and let out a laugh. It was 6 months after she started living in Bangalore. She was in a club with her friends. Her office colleagues practically coerced her to go out with them. She was pretty wild and crazy when she came to Bangalore. She was set on doing everything and anything she ever wanted to do. She did not mind how crazy her idea was, she did it. But she never had the desire for alcohol or loud music even then… She was not interested in that sort of thing. She was a loner who liked weird things… She was curious about everything.She explored the city to its fullest. She went on long drives… she went out for walks. She took public transports without even knowing where she was going half the time. After all, she did not how to read Kannada. And everything in Bangalore was written in Kannada. She had talked to absolute st
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The marriage was exactly one month away. Sindhu was sitting in her room with all her lights switched off and doors locked shut. Her mind was messed up and in a daze. She did not know what she was feeling. Her heart was in a twist.This room... It has been her safe haven and her hell at the same time for as long as she could remember. She had not lived here for 4 years but still, this was her home. She always knew she could come back to this one place no matter what and it will give her solace. But after these weeks, this won't be her room. This will not be her home. She did not know how to digest this fact. Her heart was in a twist. She felt so terrified all of a sudden.The voices in her head won't stop. She kept remembering all the things she ever experienced within these walls- some good some bad. It was so overwhelming that she felt as if she was drowning. She felt so lost and helpless. And the silence surrounding her was almost deafening.All these days she
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When they reached Sindhu's place, it was almost midnight. Gautham stopped the car outside Sindhu's place. Then he turned around towards Sindhu who was happily sleeping with her seat pushed down to the max and her legs hoisted over the dashboard in the front. She looked extremely peaceful and content. Gautham almost did not want to wake her but then he reached out and shook her awake. Sindhu blinked several times. She lifted her hands to rub over her eyes. But seeing as she never bothered to wash her hands after having snacks, Gautham hurriedly grabbed her hands. "Your hands are not clean. They still probably have spices from the potato chip you had earlier", Gautham said but Sindhu was still not fully awake and a little groggy so she did not comprehend what he was saying. By reflex, she tried to reach her eyes with her other hand. Gautham let out a sigh and held back both her hands with one of his hands and reached out with his other hands, tidied her hair that was falling over her e
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That night, Gautham came back late after distributing all the invitations. But to his surprise, he actually found that Sindhu was not back yet. He freshened up and came down to the lobby and sat on the stairs waiting for Sindhu. John and Steve were already back and already off to bed. They were long used to Sindhu not showing up at night, unlike Gautham. Even when he was worried and anxious, Gautham still waited patiently for her. The cold air stung his skin making the hair in his hand standstill. At last, just before dawn, the roaring sound of the car awoke Gautham from his daze. He looked up only to see Sindhu get down from a red Audit. It was John’s car. Since Gautham had driven the car they came in, Sindhu borrowed one of John’s cars. “Why are you still up?” Sindhu asked coming towards Gautham. He just shrugged his shoulders and answered perfunctorily, “I couldn’t sleep…” Both of them knew he was lying. After all, he could har
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Sindhu sipped on her drink and looked out the window with a blank expression on her face. Her eyes stayed steadily looking at nothing in particular. Her eyes were as if everything around her was invisible somehow while vehicles kept zooming in front of her leaving behind exhaust fumes. They were not invisible but Sindhu just did not care enough to notice anything in particular.Everything and everybody around her was busy with something or the other except for her. Nobody seemed to have the time of the day to notice anything around them… everybody was rushing to someplace or other… they seemed to be moving in a rush all the time. They all seemed to have somewhere to be at any point in time… but she one the other seemed to be always lost!This was not the first time she had noticed this… This scene is the most common sight no matter where one goes… She just never been able to figure out how to make sense of it.After all,
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After about one hour, Sindhu finally actually woke up and went to freshen up. Gautham went in search of John. He asked around the staff and finally found him in what looked like a study room.He knocked on the huge door before entering.The room was brightly lit. Both sides of the room were covered with shelves and they were all filled to the brim with books.But the wall straight opposite to the door was fully empty except for a huge piece of a painting of the mansion with a sunset in the background. The mansion was actually small compared to the background sky. And from the looks of it, it was probably painted by Sindhu. It was not a realistic painting. It was slightly abstracted. And like the ones in her apartment, the whole painting was done with reddish-yellow shades and blacks peeping here and there."That's Sindhu's handiwork, isn't it???" Gautham asked out loud. But the question was actually rhetoric.John looked up then followed Gautham's
Little girl's wild side Stop using him as your pillow, Sindhu
It was dead of the night. The streetlights were flickering away. Everything was quiet and tranquil until suddenly the rumbling sound of several bike engines was heard which was accompanied by several rogue male voices shouting profanities.There was one bike in the forefront, driven by a girl. She seemed hurt and very disoriented. Her bike was not steady. The bike was going zigzag without any pattern. There was blood all over her torso. Blood dripped down on the road making a red trail behind her. Her vision was blurring out from excessive loss of blood. But by sheer determination, she drove the bike as steadily as she could and as fast as she could. She knew help was on the way. All she had to do was to hold these thugs off till then. But it was getting so hard to keep her eyes open.There were about a half dozen bikes following her. Even when the guys following her did not seem to be hurt, their bikes were nowhere near being any steadier than th
Little girl's wild side I am just proud of you.
Sindhu and Gautham were sitting side by side in a park. Sindhu's excitement finally wore out after all the shopping and roaming around they did. It was almost sundown when Gautham suggested they take a break. Sindhu's legs were practically jelly. It has been long since she last roamed around so much.The park was pretty quiet since they were sitting at the far end. On the other side of the park, children were happily playing around with their parents hovering behind them. Sindhu had a small smile playing on her lips seeing them. Gautham followed her gaze and found a little girl with pigtails. She was pouting over something."You know she reminds me of Akira," Gautham said absentmindedly."Who is Akira??" Sindhu asked curiously, mainly because she loved kids more than anything. For her, they were the only uncorrupted form of a human."Akira is Priya and Rahul's daughter. You will be able to meet them. They are my childhood friends. " Gautham said, but a sl
Little girl's wild side He is perfect.
The next day, when Sindhu woke up, it was already 9 am. She and Gautham went for some sights seeing and shopping in malls the last evening. And had dinner outside. It was late by the time they came back. So Sindhu thought she could actually sleep in. But then she stupidly left the curtains open. So she woke up from the bright light shining through the balcony doors. Seeing that her sleep was already ruined she got up from the bed. After slightly freshening up she lazily strolled down to the living room. She searched for John and Gautham but both were nowhere to be found. She went to the kitchen and took a sandwich. That's when she heard a noise coming from the back of the house. The dining hall had a window facing the backyard. She peeked through it and found Gautham playing merrily with Brad and Luzy in the swimming pool. And John was sitting in one of the patio chairs a few feet away from them reading a newspaper.Sindhu took the plate with her sandwich and went towards the
Little girl's wild side Dramebaaz!! (Overdramatic)
Bangalore.Sindhu's lips spread into a wide grin as soon as they entered the city. The city was bustling with life and Sindhu drove through it with ease. It was as if she knew each nook and cranny of the city. She went in and out of all sorts of small and big roads avoiding traffic like a pro. Just the whole aura around her changed somehow. Her joy was palpable. But there was also something else in there… deep under the surface. Something dark maybe. Her grin would just slip for a few seconds every now and then… and something not so joyous will pass through her face.Gautham reached out and pulled on her cheeks and said in a playful voice, "Can you stop grinning for a second? I mean I get it you love the city. But if you keep on grinning like this, your jaws are going to start hurting."Sindhu sent him a glare and rubbed on her cheeks and to add to the dramatic effect she even let out, "Ouch!! That hurts!!" While pouting at Gautham."Drameba
