001

Amber

A scream, escaped my throat at the intense pain I was feeling between my legs. Beads of perspiration adorned my face while the nurses encouraged me to push.

“Push miss…you are almost there.” They’d scream at me and I was trying. I was trying to do as instructed but I could feel my strength slipping from me, every passing minute.

“Push!”

The pain… was something I’d never felt before. I wish the baby would come out sooner or I fear I may not be able to push any further. I could feel my hole tear to let the baby’s head through and a nurse confirmed it.

“You are almost there.” She encouraged me while the rest parted my legs even further.

I can’t…I can’t do this. The pain, it’s extreme and it’s something I wouldn’t want to wish on anyone. My pain.

“Open your damn eyes and push! Don’t be lazy!” Clint, my husband growled at me. My heart skipped a bit as he glared down at me. “I swear Amber, if you lose the baby, we are over!”

I could feel his grip on me, tightening. His nails dug into my skin while he ignored my pain. He didn’t care about my discomfort. He only cared about what he wanted. Just like that, in a desperate bid to save my marriage, my blurred sight, cleared.

I screamed even louder and with my last strength, I felt the baby slide out, before falling on my back to the bed, in exhaustion. I was tired and I could feel my eyes blur again.

“The baby is not breathing.” I heard panic footsteps as the nurses ran towards a corner of the room and so did my husband.

My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to muster the strength to take a look at what was going on. My throat went dry and drowsiness overpowering my resolve.

“What is going on?” I tried to ask but no words came out of my mouth and before I knew it, my world went blank.

When I eventually woke up from my long nap, I tried to remember where I was, before it all clicked. My child.

“Where is my baby?!!!” I screamed as I recalled the last few words they had muttered before I went unconscious. My child was not breathing!

“Ma’am you need rest. You’ve only just woken up.” A nurse said to me as soon as she got to where I was.

“Where is my baby? Give me my baby!” I screamed, knocking over a medical tray as I tried to sit up.

I could feel, no…almost hear my pounding heart. I was having a panic attack and it hurt. Tears pooled in my eyes as the nurse refused to give me answers.

“Ma, you’ve lost a lot of blood…”

“Where is my damn baby?!!” I cut her off, grabbing her hand with a strong grip, that I didn’t care if I’d hurt her in the process. “Give me my baby…please.”

“I’m so sorry ma’am but the child did not make it. It died before it came.” She finally said but I could hear the sadness in her voice. Her face was crestfallen to have to break such devastating news.

My child was gone…a part of me lost. It didn’t just leave the world alone, it took my heart with it and left a hole in my chest. A hole so deep, it could never be filled again.

“I’m so sorry.” She apologized while I buried my face in my palms and cried. I had lost my baby because I didn’t push fast or hard enough.

I was a bad mother. What kind of a mother, wouldn’t do anything to save her baby? Clint was right, I was unfit to be a mother to his child and I had just proved it.

“You have a visitor, too.”

I did not respond and soon, I could hear footsteps approaching. Slow and deliberate, only to stop at the foot of the bed. The scent was unfamiliar to me…it’s not Clint but it’s a man and since he was here to see me, he must know me.

“I’m sorry about your loss, madam.” I lifted my head to look at the stranger and stared him down. He was a man in his 70s with grey hair and he wore a black and white suit.

Even at his age, he was graceful. His face was crestfallen…he was sorry, for me? I’ve never seen him before…I’ve never met him before, so who is he?

“You may be wondering who I am, madam. I’m Mr. Clint’s lawyer. Your husband’s lawyer.” He said before he pulled out a file from the briefcase and stretched it out to me.

I took the file in my hand and skimmed through it. On the first page was boldly written: Divorce agreement between Mrs Amber and Mr Clint.

I swallowed. My chest hurt so much as I read those lines slowly as if I read wrong. I wished it was all fake. I wish everything that was going on right now, was an elaborate prank to gauge my reaction…I probably wouldn’t mind.

“He said I should give it to you and he gave you t three days to make up your mind and sign it. He also said I should give you something else.” The lawyer added and I lifted my gaze.

I could see in his eyes, the internal struggles he was having. He was probably deliberately if showing it to me was the right move to make. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, pulling out a phone from his pocket.

“I will be fine,” I assured him, forcing a smile to hide my sadness. He reluctantly let me take it and I could see a paused video on the screen, so I played it, while he walked from the bed.

My eyes burned as I watched my husband kissing a woman. I could hear her moan, as she let him touch her. I watched as he knitted her breasts and how she would moan out loud.

He had nothing on him. Completely naked with only a tie around his neck and a hickey on his neck. My heart ached as I watched. I recalled coming home to my husband a few days ago, with a hickey.

When I asked, he never bothered to answer me. He ignored me and told me not to think too much about it. He was disgusted that I could ask such a thing, but he never provided an answer to the question.

I have no idea why he’d want me to watch this. To watch a video of him with his mistress…I wondered who she was as she was obscured by the dim room.

“Touch me…Use me, Clint. Forget her…I need you.” She moaned in his ears and I felt a pang of jealousy and hurt.

He had never made any effort to touch me like he was doing to her. He had never satisfied me the way he was doing it to her. Once he came, he’d pushed me off the bed and slid off, to go take a shower or a late-night walk.

But then, my heart began to race. That voice…the woman’s. It sounded so familiar that I wouldn’t mistake it for anything. I crossed my fingers, hoping it wouldn’t be her…hoping it wouldn’t be my best friend.

“I love you, Astrid” but alas, not every wish comes true. Clint was fucking my best friend, while I was pregnant with his child!