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Chapter 29
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2021-09-10 00:34:31IVAN'S POV
What have I done to my mate, I am a monster? I needed her to hate me, so it would be easier for me when I marry. Instead, I made it worse by hurting her. I will never be able to forgive myself for what I have done to her. I know that she pushed and pushed until I reacted. She just wouldn't stop. I wanted to make her pay for ruining everything. I could have controlled my wolf, but instead I wanted to hurt her. She felt pain, so I left him to take control and take what he wanted, knowing I wanted the same thing.
I wanted to punish her for defining me. I'm so angry I never wanted her in the first place. Why did she have to come along? I lied to her, and I told her that she was my third mate, knowing I've never had a mate until now. I have given up all hope and then there she comes along, I hate her for it. I had a plan, and she ruined it.
I can feel her pain because of what I have done, and it makes me feel even more rage. I want to apologize for what I
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LILLY'S POVI have been lost for words since I ran into Ivan. Surprised that he left me free, I still wonder for how long it will be for. Now that he knows I'm alive. I have to tell Landon everything, I can't put it off any longer he needs to know. I have never lied to him. He really has never asked about my past. I am just afraid. That he will make me leave.As I toss and turn in my bed, there's no use for sleep. I get up, head to the bathroom. I turn the water on for the shower, maybe this will relax me. I undress while the water is warming. I look at myself in the mirror with my growing belly. As I can feel her movement, I become grateful that I have her.Lost and thought, the mirror steams. I open the shower curtain and step in, letting the hot water pour over my body. I try just to relax, but my mind is everywhere. All I can remember is his touch that made my body crazy. I crave his touch, I don't know why, I wonder what is happening to me.Star is a
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I continue to walk up to Jayden to talk to him about last night, "Hey buddy, I'm sorry for just taking off."But when I speak, it's like I have no words. He acted like he didn't hear me and just walked to Landon. "Daddy, can we please go home now."?I'm confused as to why he is treating me like this. I have done nothing but be nice to him, but instead he is now acting like I don't exist. I want to chase after him. But I will not beg to be loved. As I held my tears back, Dean approached me. "Lilly, is there something that you need?""Why are you not helping me with my abilities? You said that you would begin my training, but you have done nothing?""I was waiting for you to become a member of the pack, so you would have a bond with a pack.""As you can tell, I'm not wanted here, to be honest, I'm not wanted anywhere.""Lilly, I wouldn't be so sure that you are not wanted here. I know that you are, and that you are even loved here.""La
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When I hear star's words, my heart aches knowing that something is happening. I stand up and fight through the pain and shift. I take off knowing that I need to find him, so I can help him. Knowing that he doesn't deserve it,, but my child deserves to have a father. I don't want him dead, he needs to survive.I can feel the pain worsen and ease up at the same time. Then I wonder if he is being tortured. Wondering if they are torturing him almost to death but not actually allowing him to die just being barely alive. Is that why I am feeling this pain what is happening. I'm running as fast as I can, trying to pick up his scent, hoping I won't be too late?He is an alpha, he is strong so why is he on the verge of dying. As I become closer, I'm surprised by what I see. I see Ivan tied to a tree, tears fill my eyes at the sight of his agony. I run up to the tree then touch him as his head comes up, he looks at me with black eyes full of anger. Once he realizes it's me, his
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IVAN'S POVAs I am leaving the woods from my encounter with Lily. I am in shock, wondering how the hell she survived that fall. All this time I was calling her weak, but I was so wrong. I hate myself even more now for treating her the way I did. Remembering When I touched her skin it felt like a delicate flower, so soft. I tried to snap out of my thoughts of thinking of her, it's distracting me as I am tripping over branches that are on the ground. Realizing that I have made the biggest mistake Underestimating my own mate.I shift into my wolf and take off to the pack house. I need a distraction. From thinking of her it's making me crazy and craving more of her, I want to respect her and let her be free. Even though I'm not going to be able to let her free for long. I am hoping now more than ever that Jenny finds a way out of this marriage.Not really sure how she is going to do it, but I'm looking forward to it. If she can get out of it, then I will be able to
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I know that Landon is unsure of letting Ivan stay and not telling anyone. Convincing him wasn't easy. I had to make sure that Ivan would at least make it through the night. I don't know who would do this to him, but they left him for dead. I know that I should not have any compassion for him, but I do. As much as I want to hate him, I just can't.As I get back to my cabin to check on him, I see that he is still sleeping, but he's breathing. I feel relief coming over me. I can breathe now, knowing that he's going to survive."Lily, we need to lay with your mate and cuddle into him.""Star, you can't expect me to do that.""Lily, you have to understand it will help him heal faster and take away some of his pain."I hesitate. I know that all I should want to do is help my mate and make him feel better in any possible way. As I look at Ivan, all I see is a man who broke me. I'm still healing from what she has done. I Want to forget about it, but
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IVAN'S POVI have never felt so helpless in my life. As I wait for what is about to happen, I clench my fist as I prepare myself for the pain I'm about to feel. I look at the men as they shift into their wolves. I try to remember every feature of my attackers, hoping to be able to identify who is doing this to me to understand why they wanted to kill me so badly. Especially on how they decided to kill me, fuck they are cowards couldn't even allow me a chance of fighting back.As I watch them tear my body apart, all bite and claw marks. Their mouths covered in blood drip from their lips as they lick up with their tongues, just to begin again. Wanting to black out or just die from all the pain I'm feeling, wondering if they're going to eat me alive.Then All of a sudden, I'm in shock when I hear Jenny's voice, and then it confirms it's her when I see her human as she is walking up to me with her blood covered lips. I look and see a machete in her hand then fear be
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LILLY'S POVI can't believe what Ivan has just told me about Jenny. How could she be capable of something so evil? I know that Ivan hurt me, but I couldn't have done that to him, maybe it's just because he is my mate. I know that she didn't want to marry him, but to kill him. Knowing the repercussions for this are going to be so bad. How do I even begin to even tell Landon?He's going to get so angry as soon as the words escape my lips. I want to avoid lying to him. I want to tell him the truth of what I just heard. I then think maybe it is better if I just keep it to myself for now. I need to find Sam, so I can figure all this out. I don't want Ivan to leave I don't know if he is safe, I know that I shouldn't care, but I do.As Ivan is sitting on my bed, I see the pain in his eyes, I can tell he is terrified. I want to comfort him,, but I don't know how. The feelings I have for him are only because of the mate bond. I walk over to him and sit beside him o
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I jump up and wrap my arms around him with tears coming out of my eyes, I know that he can tell something is wrong. "Ivan we need to go, something has happened I was wrong and Landon lied to me that your pack was attacked I'm so sorry.""Who answered when you called?""A woman I think she was your mother she told me that Sam is dying. I can save him. But she wouldn't tell me where she was, she wanted to talk to you first."As I watch tears fill his eyes, I feel so sorry for him he then says nothing. I know we have little time to come up with a plan. I can see that he still is weak, and he might even be afraid. I hear Star Lilly he needs his mate to connect with him even if it's a hug, hold on to him and only think about healing him.I don't hesitate, I wrap my arms around him and hold on to him so tight like I'm never going to let him go. It feels amazing the feeling that he makes my body feel, but my mind is far away from what my body feels. I'm so confu
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He pushes me inside his grip, making me feel uneasy. Everyone's staring, wondering what my move will be, but I do nothing. I let him push me to the bedroom, not knowing what he's about to say. I'm nervous. It has been almost a month since I have seen him last. I watch, I'm waiting to see his lips move, wanting to hear what he has to say. “Lilly, I have looked everywhere for him. I can't find him. He is gone.” I watch as he falls to his knees crying in despair, my heartbreaking for him. And my body builds up with anger, knowing that his mother is making him feel this way. I ran over to him and let him sob in my arms. Not knowing what to say, I know that I can't tell him what I know. If he found out that his mother had been behind all this, I'm not sure what he would do. “Landon, I'm so sorry that all this had to happen to you. I wish I could take away all your pain.” I feel bad for Landon, but I will not jeopardize saving Jayden just to make him fe
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