My head felt heavy and the lights were blinding me. I barely slept at all and when I burp it still smells like alcohol. I have missed my first class and was already contemplating on missing the next. Staying home is not an option because Nelly will never stop berating me if she knew I missed school. Especially if it's because I went out partying all night.
I also have an apology to make.
Oh God, I hope I didn't say anything embarrassing. All I can remember was dialing August and then hearing her voice. But what I said for the rest of our twenty-eight minute phone call was all rumbled and hazy.
I found August in the library as always. I knew it was her free period and she'll be nowhere else but here. She was at the Front Desk this time and not stacking books like always. She looked up when I entered and smiled. I tried to read if her smile was inviting or mean but my throbbing head and the too bright lights made it impossible for me to open my eyes properly.
"Hello" she greeted. I slumped my weight over the counter, my head under my arms. I hadn't realized I've been dragging my body quite literally on the way here. I feel my limbs falling apart. I really should have stayed at home.
"Don't block the desk. Some students might come to check-out books." Her voice was kind but commanding. Firm and yet comforting. Just like how she sounded eight hours ago when I called her. I felt my face flush, and knew I was completely red. I groaned and kept my head down as I walked behind the counter, pulled a chair on the nearby table and placed it behind where August sat. I turned the chair so I could rest my whirling, reddening face comfortably at the backrest while my arms can serve as its cover.
August didn't say anything more. I can hear her scribbling and turning pages and sometimes would even whisper a word or a phrase. And somehow that got me falling asleep.
I jolted awake. Still August was there. Her back turned from me. Busy with her notes. It felt like a long sleep but when I checked my watch, not even ten minutes had passed. Still, I felt tired.
"You know" August suddenly said, she might have heard me stirred, "Just because we're fake dating doesn't mean you should be following me around. Why don't you go and find your friends?"
I grunted. My words are still trying to find their way back. They're just as hungover as I was but I answered her as best as I can, "I've associated them with alcohol. Seeing them might make me puke."
"Have you eaten?" August spun her chair to look at me, a motion that made my stomach churn. I shook my head gently. But even that rippled dizziness. I watched her as she picked up her bag, took out a lunch box and a stainless flask and prepared them on the space beside her desk. She laid out a banana and an egg sandwich cut in half, opened the flask and immediately I smelled that it was chicken soup. She poured a serving on the flasks' cup/top and placed it beside the sandwich.
She took half of the sandwich and went back to studying. I didn't move.
"Eat." She said finally. I guess she figured I was waiting for her confirmation that she did in fact, prepare this meal for me. Gently, I pushed myself nearer. I picked up the cup of soup which was still warm and even more gently sipped it. I felt like everything I would eat would further upset my already stirring stomach. But the soup calmed it down and slowly, the world started to regain balance. I moved to the sandwich after I finished the soup and was surprised with how hungry I already was. How does this taste better than Yanis' pâté?
I did feel a bit better after I ate. So I asked August, "Did you bring food especially for me?"
She scoffed, still not looking up from her book, "Don't flatter yourself Hughes. That's just my usual lunch. But since you're here it's impolite not to offer an invitation."
It was hangover food. I know because it's what Nelly usually prepares as my breakfast in bed when I'm suffering from really bad hangovers. But I gave August the benefit of the doubt. Why in the world would she bring a meal designed to help with a hangover for me anyway?
August then reached for her pocket and handed me aspirin and a bottle of water. "Do you also just walk around with aspirin in your pocket?" I commented after taking the medicine and finishing the entire bottle of water. I've never felt so parched in my life.
She rolled her eyes at me and took a bite out of her sandwich. I've noticed that she was such a slow eater. Even during our first date at the theme park. She really took her time with her food that I have to constantly remind her to finish.
"That– I did take one intentionally at the clinic earlier." She paused but a sly, teasing smile slowly crept to her face. "Somebody drunk-called me last night so I figured I was going to need it."
I groaned and blushed scarlet once more. I was really hoping we never have to bring that up again. I ducked my head back over the comfort of my arms. "I'm sorry." I mumbled. This was too embarrassing even for me. I have never drunk texted anybody in my life, let alone drunk call. Not even Dove. And the first time I did it, it really had to be with August.
"Why so shy?" She asked. She's enjoying this. The teasing and seeing me uneasy.
"Did I say anything embarrassing?" I asked. My words are muffled by my blazer. I hope she heard it anyway because I had no intention of repeating it. I peeked over my arms.
A student came by to check-out a book. She looked like a freshman and she had this confused but excited look on her face as her eyes darted from me and then back to August. No doubt her head is already creating rumors to spread. August finished logging the book within the system and scanning the student's ID but she stayed a bit more and just looked at us. Probably still fabricating a story that would sound interesting for her friends. Honestly, I cannot wait to hear what it'll be, but for now, I need her to leave so I glared at her with my bloodshot, sleep deprived eyes until she scampered away.
Only when the freshman left did August answer, whilst still jotting down notes from the book she was reading, "Nothing too embarrassing, really." She stopped writing and finally turned to me. "Except for the part where you kept saying how you don't know who Henry is. I could've sworn I heard you almost cry." She stifled a smile before returning to her study. I saw it though. If the ground would swallow me whole now, that'd be great.
"Fuck..." I breathed. How uncool I must look like for August now. I don't think there will be any recovery from this.
"I'm not laughing at your feelings, Hughes. Just with how you are reacting right now." She still had the sandwich in her hand. Still half-eaten.
"That's not making me feel better" I sulked. My head once again hidden in shame. "And you really should finish that sandwich. It's turning dry."
There was a soft Oh and I heard her nibble the already dry bread.
"But really, Henry. It's okay. There's nothing to be embarrassed about." I heard her shake her palms to dust off the crumbs. Slowly I raised my head and attempted to look at her hoping I wasn't blushing. She was already staring at me.
"Anything else I said?"
"You really don't remember?"
I shake my head. The dizziness has gone, now that I am properly hydrated. August thought for a moment and said, "Apart from your existential crisis, I don't think you said anything more." She started packing the lunch box and the flask. "Although, it made me curious to where that was coming from."
"To be honest, it's probably been there for a long time." I answered. I've already put myself into this position so might as well tell her more about it. "I just felt really overwhelmed last night. With all of these versions of me. In my parents head, my friends'... my brother's. It somehow made my own idea of me collapse and I needed someone to talk to."
And I really felt like that most of my life. I usually build a version of Henry that people would like. And then it'll be too much for me to handle so I would tear it back down. I created a 'Henry' that needed his brother so he wouldn't leave. But he still did so I had to create another one that his father would like. A copy of the golden boy he lost. But a copy could only go so far before it becomes a disappointment. I needed to be the 'Henry' that loves his depressed, withdrawn mother. But even that wasn't enough to make her happy. I should be the cool and dependable 'Henry' for my friends. They liked me better that way. And I have to be this charming, sweet-tongued 'Henry' for the girls I pursued, so I could feel wanted, needed, loved. And then leave before they change their minds.
"We are still young Henry." August pondered. "We still have a lot of years to figure out who we are." She closed her book and started to gather her things. "There's no need to rush. Plus your prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed until you are twenty-five." She was facing me now, our knees almost touching. "Meaning you're still allowed to be stupid and feel lost and make wrong decisions."
I laughed, "Is this your way of making me feel better?"
August smiled and then shrugged, "Maybe. It's working right? Also, isn't that a fun fact? A fun, comforting fact?"
I must have looked like an idiot for smiling so big. It wasn't the facts about the brain that comforted me. I knew that already. It wasn't her poor attempt at a joke either. Or the egg sandwich and the chicken soup, not even the aspirin. It was just August. She makes me feel better.
She looked at her watch and stood up. "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul. We should get going or we'll both be late for the next class."
"Wait–" I grabbed her hand which seemed to surprise us both. I let go just as quickly. I didn't know why I stopped her though. So I racked my brain for anything other than I still want us to talk. Come on, prefrontal cortex, do not fail me now.
"I have an idea where our next date will be." I blurted, silently patting myself on the back. That was a good save.
It was August's turn to laugh. "Who said you'll get to decide our second date?"
I pouted and stood up as well, "I think that's only fair. You decide the first, I the second."
"Fine." August replied. And I followed her out, still stunned that she agreed so easily this time.
It’s the Annual General Membership Meeting of the Liberty Polo Federation and the excitement has kept me up all night. Not because of the Membership Meeting but because of the Emperor’s Cup which is also held on the same day. This is one of the few events that our family is required to attend that I actually enjoy. It’s when I can display Philip in all his glory. We will be participating in the two main events which are Show Jumping and then at Polo. This year is a bit more special though. This year, August will be watching and something within me stirred. After my brother left, no one else watched me compete. It’s fine. I’m used to it now. My father is always out of the country and my mother is often out of herself. So now, with someone watching and much more since it's August, I’m feeling more riled up. I got to Liberty Mead real early that I was there before my coach. I was already done schooling Philip when Coach Anthony came. He wasn’t shocked to see me there first. He knows h
The next and final event followed right after. And once again the guests are back to the viewing deck. August sat on her own this time since Royce will also be part of the game, though he's playing for the other team. I have changed my clothes to a more breathable polo shirt in the color of our team which was navy blue. Dove strutted in front of me with Lancelot. "You really have to put that bitch in her place. She's getting on my nerves." I scoffed, "You started it you know. She has every right to defend herself." "Are you taking her side now?" Dove asked, clearly taken aback. "No. What I meant was– you know what, it doesn't matter. Let's just focus on the match." With that, I left Dove and had Philip march into the waiting crowd. I looked for August once again before the game began. I found her quickly. Her dress is very hard to miss. She was talking with a woman who sat beside her and they were pointing in my direction. I squinted to try and see who that woman was and nearly
I took August back to the stables where Philp awaits us. He neighed when he saw us and throttled a little out of excitement. "Hi Philip" I greeted him and nozzled his hair. "This is August. August, meet Sir Philip." August in return curtsied, “Nice to meet you Sir Philip,” she said and I couldn’t help but laugh. She turned to me scowling, “What? I think a curtsy fits such a fine and respectable horse.”I took her hand this time and gently placed it on Philips's muzzle to get him acquainted with her scent. Philip smelled her for a bit and then he started licking her hand. "Oh my God that tickles," August said laughing. "Seems like Sir Philip likes you too." I asked August if she wanted to ride Philip. "Would he not throw me off?" She asked. She didn't seem scared, only curious. She got pretty excited when I started to help her up. "I'll be holding him so you don't have to worry." I told her. So August rode Philip, and I was their guide. We walked towards the lesser used area of
I got to school really early the following Monday. My body was still reeling from the exhaustion of yesterday’s activity but I just couldn’t stay home any longer. My father has returned from his business trip and the household is once again filled with this ominous aura he seemed to carry wherever he goes. Even the butlers and the maids are feeling strained and are more rigid than usual. My mother on the other hand is trying her best to pretend she’s been well the entire time he was gone and that she’s doing better now that he’s here. We all can see that it was a lie, but my father does not care enough to even pretend his concern. I knew that the moment he lays his eyes on me, it’ll be a none stop conversation of the things I should already know about the business and how if it was Bash, he probably wouldn’t be worrying so much about leaving the company’s future to such incompetent hands.So what’s a guy to do other than drive to school earlier than usual?The Academy looked so diff
I have successfully avoided my father for the past three days. I leave the house before he is up and return only once he's gone to bed. With him at home, I felt more of a stranger in my house than I ever did before. After schools’ are often spent in Theo's place and sometimes in the Library where August is. Yesterday, I even went with her to her other job as a barista in a quaint, homey bookstore/coffee shop called The Old Scroll. I only insisted on driving her there initially. Which was of course met with defiance but I have learned how to properly negotiate with August. I told her I'd be buying coffee and I'd be leaving a very generous tip. I did buy coffee and then I decided to stay for a little while. And then the little while turned to an hour. And then another. And another. And I told myself I was just killing time but I knew I stayed because I liked being close to August. To keep myself helpful, I did some waiting tables and even entertained buyers by suggesting books they
It was August’s turn to decide on our third fake-date, and all I can think of is how we haven’t even completed half of our fake-dating scheme and I am already crushing on her for real. But this is something she doesn’t have to know. It’s something I can just keep forever. “So it’s set!” Gwen declared giddily. The four of us were rounded by the cafeteria and by four, I meant, August and I, as well as Gwen and Royce. “Will you be picking up Auggie or should she just ride with us?” Gwen was asking me a question but I was busy thinking of ways on how I could stop having a crush on August, who was kind enough to gently jab me on my sides to help me refocus. I fluttered my eyes as I felt my consciousness slowly drift back to me. “Sorry, what was that again?” Gwen rolled her eyes, “Ugh. Hello…” she waves her hands in front of my face, “Earth to Henry. Are you here?” “I’m here now,” was my reply. This only gained another eye rolling from Gwen. She answered me anyway, “I was asking if you
I’ve never seen anyone as calm as August inside the eye of the storm. When we arrived at the hospital, she knew exactly where to go, knew who to talk to, knew what to do. Apparently, her mother ruptured her appendix while she was doing volunteer work, giving free consultations in the lower edge of the city. She suddenly fainted and luckily they got her to the hospital in time for an immediate surgery. The Doctor that August was talking to said that it could have been much worse if she was even five minutes late.“You’re mother is my friend, I won’t let anything bad happen to her.” Dr. Wakovski said and then he gestured to me, “You go ahead and relax and wait this out with your boyfriend.”“Oh,” August started to say. But the doctor was back inside the operating room before she could explain anything more. I tried to hide my smirk, but it was too difficult especially after seeing August blush over that comment. “Stop it.” She said firmly as she walked past me.We haven’t eaten anythin
The school year is moving faster than I wanted and so is my fake-dates with August. We were already on our fourth one before I even realized it. During our free period, she asked me if I have any plans for our second to the last fake date and I had so many planned out dates but none of them felt like the best suited one considering this is the last one that I will get to choose. “Why don’t you decide this one too and I’ll pick out our very last date instead?” I finally told her. August pondered for a moment, her brows creasing in deep thought. “You swear you’re not going to try something funny on the last date?” She asked. Her eyes filled with uncertainty. After all this time, she still had her inhibitions with me. I smiled and raised my pinky finger, “I swear August. If anything I’m just glad we’re almost done with the first phase of the plan. My friends have been asking me nonstop if you’re in love with me yet.” It was a lie of course. Well, at least the former. I wasn’t close
August grunted in exasperation. She has been looking more stressed these past few days. Our second quarter finals had just concluded and of course she came out first, but only because of so many nights of missed sleeps and early morning study sessions she scheduled for herself. All on top of her responsibilities as the President of Highbrows, Vice President of the Student Council, her part-time job as a barista and her tasks as a Student Assistant. I had the privilege of seeing her planner once and I am still wondering how she was able to fit all she needs to do within the 24-hour timeframe given to man.She sits now at my passenger seat, with eyes closed, forehead resting to the cool of the window. Her hair is twisted in a messy ponytail, yet somehow all I see is how it perfectly falls into her face like a set of dominoes falling one by one. “You know, if you keep staring you might miss the green light.” She said with eyes still closed.My eyes quickly darted back to the road and I
The hallways were buzzing with excited conversations. It wasn’t really unusual during the early hours of a school day but the electric vibrancy that seems to inhabit most everyone today is palpable; it pricks my skin and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand. The often cold halls feel warm because of all the giddy laughters and pitchy shrieks of lovestruck girls every once in a while. It wouldn’t take long for one to figure out that the date of the Chevaliers de la Roine Ball has been announced. It is the biggest annual event of the Academy where all students can dress in gowns and tuxedos and play-pretend to be Princesses and Princes as if they don’t already do that everyday. It’s a night where they can showcase their wealth by hiring the biggest names in the fashion industry to style them and arrive in limos or choppers or private planes. There was a year where a Sophomore Student arrived in a glass carriage in the shape of Cinderella’s pumpkin– it was Dove– that sophomore
The only thing that kept me from punching Sebastian’s face was August holding my hand. I was so thankful that she kept a good grip on me because I really didn’t want to cause a scene. Behind Bash was Claire, who stood on the porch carrying their child, looking all worried. The silence that stretched was painful. My brother looked back and forth to August and I. This is the first time I’ve seen him in what– two, three years? Also, this is the first time I’ve seen him so unsure and in a loss for words. Even when my father banished him and took away all his inheritance and removed him from the will, my brother stood tall and proud. There was no doubt in him that day that what he chose was right. And I guess, he did choose right. Because he didn’t look lonely. Not anymore. When no one seemed to be ready to break the silence between us, it was August who spoke first. “Please don’t think I am interfering in any way–” her voice was so soft that even if I did get mad at her, I would have
The day of our fourth fake date has come and I am both excited and terrified. I tell myself that after the fake dates we still have the falling-in-love phase and the break-up. We’ll still have more time. I’ll still have August for a short while. I picked her up in front of her mother’s clinic who waved us goodbye and reminded me of the dinner she still owed. I told Dr. Carline that I am definitely available anytime she wants to invite me over to which August only grunted while pulling me away as quickly as possible. August still smelled of vanilla and it enveloped the inside of my car. It was a scent I have come to be familiar with but still can’t get enough of. I had to consciously wrestle with myself not to get too attached. But I believe it might be too late. When all of this is over, I know I will always crave the scent of vanilla and I won’t be able to breathe it in without thinking of August. “Here, let’s drive to this address.” August said as she handed me a piece of neatly
The school year is moving faster than I wanted and so is my fake-dates with August. We were already on our fourth one before I even realized it. During our free period, she asked me if I have any plans for our second to the last fake date and I had so many planned out dates but none of them felt like the best suited one considering this is the last one that I will get to choose. “Why don’t you decide this one too and I’ll pick out our very last date instead?” I finally told her. August pondered for a moment, her brows creasing in deep thought. “You swear you’re not going to try something funny on the last date?” She asked. Her eyes filled with uncertainty. After all this time, she still had her inhibitions with me. I smiled and raised my pinky finger, “I swear August. If anything I’m just glad we’re almost done with the first phase of the plan. My friends have been asking me nonstop if you’re in love with me yet.” It was a lie of course. Well, at least the former. I wasn’t close
I’ve never seen anyone as calm as August inside the eye of the storm. When we arrived at the hospital, she knew exactly where to go, knew who to talk to, knew what to do. Apparently, her mother ruptured her appendix while she was doing volunteer work, giving free consultations in the lower edge of the city. She suddenly fainted and luckily they got her to the hospital in time for an immediate surgery. The Doctor that August was talking to said that it could have been much worse if she was even five minutes late.“You’re mother is my friend, I won’t let anything bad happen to her.” Dr. Wakovski said and then he gestured to me, “You go ahead and relax and wait this out with your boyfriend.”“Oh,” August started to say. But the doctor was back inside the operating room before she could explain anything more. I tried to hide my smirk, but it was too difficult especially after seeing August blush over that comment. “Stop it.” She said firmly as she walked past me.We haven’t eaten anythin
It was August’s turn to decide on our third fake-date, and all I can think of is how we haven’t even completed half of our fake-dating scheme and I am already crushing on her for real. But this is something she doesn’t have to know. It’s something I can just keep forever. “So it’s set!” Gwen declared giddily. The four of us were rounded by the cafeteria and by four, I meant, August and I, as well as Gwen and Royce. “Will you be picking up Auggie or should she just ride with us?” Gwen was asking me a question but I was busy thinking of ways on how I could stop having a crush on August, who was kind enough to gently jab me on my sides to help me refocus. I fluttered my eyes as I felt my consciousness slowly drift back to me. “Sorry, what was that again?” Gwen rolled her eyes, “Ugh. Hello…” she waves her hands in front of my face, “Earth to Henry. Are you here?” “I’m here now,” was my reply. This only gained another eye rolling from Gwen. She answered me anyway, “I was asking if you
I have successfully avoided my father for the past three days. I leave the house before he is up and return only once he's gone to bed. With him at home, I felt more of a stranger in my house than I ever did before. After schools’ are often spent in Theo's place and sometimes in the Library where August is. Yesterday, I even went with her to her other job as a barista in a quaint, homey bookstore/coffee shop called The Old Scroll. I only insisted on driving her there initially. Which was of course met with defiance but I have learned how to properly negotiate with August. I told her I'd be buying coffee and I'd be leaving a very generous tip. I did buy coffee and then I decided to stay for a little while. And then the little while turned to an hour. And then another. And another. And I told myself I was just killing time but I knew I stayed because I liked being close to August. To keep myself helpful, I did some waiting tables and even entertained buyers by suggesting books they
I got to school really early the following Monday. My body was still reeling from the exhaustion of yesterday’s activity but I just couldn’t stay home any longer. My father has returned from his business trip and the household is once again filled with this ominous aura he seemed to carry wherever he goes. Even the butlers and the maids are feeling strained and are more rigid than usual. My mother on the other hand is trying her best to pretend she’s been well the entire time he was gone and that she’s doing better now that he’s here. We all can see that it was a lie, but my father does not care enough to even pretend his concern. I knew that the moment he lays his eyes on me, it’ll be a none stop conversation of the things I should already know about the business and how if it was Bash, he probably wouldn’t be worrying so much about leaving the company’s future to such incompetent hands.So what’s a guy to do other than drive to school earlier than usual?The Academy looked so diff