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The Will To Smile, The Will To Laugh
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LOVING HER DUKE His Torment And Peace
What was the need to be so vexed over his protection? Why was she depriving him the right to protect her? Charles felt the unexplainable urge to smoke. He was her husband! How dare she question that? His breathing became intense.She refused his protection. She denied their marriage. Many women of the ton would give an arm to be affiliated with him in marriage. She teased him with a false hand of friendship, and now she thought the worst of him?! How could she ever think he would use his hand harshly on her?Charles was beyond livid. He only wanted to protect her. He had wronged her in the greatest way possible that night on the hill, and even though he had almost never regretted it, he did sometimes for her sake.She had been drunk that night, but his mind had been clear as the sky on the finest day. He should have stopped her. He should have been sensible enough. Maybe he shouldn't have believed when she promised not to regret it. She left before he awoke and her action meant one thi
LOVING HER DUKE A Celestial Decision
Brand kissed his teeth and sighed, brushing the topic away. "What is to be the agenda for this private council? Is it Lord Denney?""Except he does something foolish, no." They entered the great room. "The pirates seem to pose a greater threat than our overzealous and greedy uncle." He sat and asked them to do the same. "They have grown gutsy. Out." He commanded the servants present. They obeyed."The pirates?"Alexander nodded, the smile on his face vanishing as his countenance switching capriciously. "I need you and your troops out on the sea. We must go to battle.""Battle?""You thought it has not reached me yet, or did you think trade disputes and profit acquisition would make me turn a blind eye to the happenings on the sea?"Brand blinked, shocked. "How did you come about this knowledge?""I am King and news reaches me from my scouts." He smiled wickedly. "You should be punished for insubordination."Brand rose to his feet and bowed fully. "Please forgive me, Your Majesty. I was
LOVING HER DUKE Lifelong Dedication
* * *Carlisle walked out of the room and Alexander was following after him, seeming eager to see the man who was waiting, but Brand wished to speak to him and that he must do. He hurried after him."Edmund." Alexander called his man."Alexander!" Brand called. Edmund came to him as he turned to answer his name. "I must speak with you, now." Alexander opened his hands in askance and he replied. "It is important."Edmund began to exit the room. "He will wait a bit more.""No." Alexander countered. "Send him in. He can wait, but I am too eager to."Edmund bowed. "Your Majesty."As he left, Alexander returned to the room, planting himself again where he had sat before. "All is well, I presume?"Brand walked to stand before him, consciously blinking his left eye with the right. "I met with Lord Denney again, or rather he met with me. He was waiting for me as soon as my ship docked."Alexander scoffed. "He is quite persistent.""He is." Brand pushed his hair from his face and let it hang b
LOVING HER DUKE Back On Westside Hill?
The mist was heavy, causing the air to be extremely cold and humid. The grass was wet under her and the wetness was slowly seeping through the trousers she wore. Abandoning common sense, she continued to sit on the ground even though she was almost soaked through to her drawers.Her nostrils were starting to hurt from the perfect cold, and even though her feet were toasty warm from inside her boots, her hands were numb and her fingers frozen to the point of falling off. But, she was loving it because somewhere deep in her, she knew it would not harm her, at least not today.The lady inhaled deeply and exhaled strongly, her breath misting as well. The cold wind blew against her face and rather than not, it warmed it, caressing her slowly as it passed by. She found the hilltop to be both a place of austerity and a seat of solace. The cold wind froze her in place and the wet grass nourished her liberty, holding her away from everything that troubled her.She did not remember how she got
LOVING HER DUKE Only A Dream
* * *"Eric!!!" Waking up with a start, Beth screamed out of her sleep, stretching out her hand, reaching for who was nowhere before her. Her breathing was rapid and it quavered violently. In her head, she relived the last part of her dream as she froze in place.She saw him fall from the cliff again, as he had done many times before. She still held out her hand, desperately wanting to catch him, to not let him fall, to hold on to him.When it finally came to her that it had been a nightmare, Beth dropped her outstretched hands and sobbed into her pillow, she screamed her life out, beating on the pillow as though it was the culprit. The same, the same nightmare.She wiped the tears off her cheeks and sat up so quickly her head spun. Pulling her legs to herself, she hugged her knees to rid herself of the loneliness, of the sadness. She let her eyes run the entire space of the room it could cover until it rested on the adjoining door to Lord Carlisle's bedchamber and blinked to push bac
LOVING HER DUKE Introspection
* * *Her shoes pounded lightly on the marbled floor as she made her way to the kitchen. The railing had been cleaned and as she slid her hand past it walking down the stairs, Beth appreciated the maids. They always did a fine job.The Christmas Ball was in two days, she needed to ensure all was perfect, and that the Ball would be a success. It would be her first Ball as Lady Carlisle. She did not wish to fail and set the wagging tongues loose.The halls were alive with activities and outside the gardeners were busy snipping and packing away. She had been so engrossed with the geography book she had found in the library, time had slipped by. She always knew the world was vast but she had never guessed how much. Beth couldn't wait to be done with her chores for the day and return to it. But there was so much to do.She had to ensure all invitations had been sent out, finalize the food list – which she was on her way to do – select the drinks, and meet with her dance instructor. Beth wa
LOVING HER DUKE Gwen Had An Admirer?
She met with Thomas on her way to the Ballroom."Your Grace, I was wondering where you were." He was always searching for her.Beth sidestepped, avoiding the men carrying the miniature stature meant for the Ballroom. The Dowager Duchess had insisted on it. "What is wrong?""Have a care with that." Thomas yelled to the men when they stumbled. They apologized. "The last invitation has been sent out, and this letter came from your Aunt."She received it. "Thank you. Have you asked the tables to be put close to the wall, by the windows?""I supervised it myself." His lips pulled slightly. "Do not worry, Your Grace. Your Ball would be grand."She nodded. She did not need it to be grand, it should not be a flop. But he was right. There was nothing to bother about. "My instructor should be arriving soon, prepare for him. For now, ask Anna to come to my bedchamber.""Of course, Ma'am."Beth made for her room.From the top of the stairs, she took a moment to look at the preparations that were
LOVING HER DUKE His Grace Has Returned
She had been stupid enough to see only how his actions affected her, but blind to how her words affected him. Beth sighed."Will this do?"Beth turned and studied the dress Anna held up. It was the simple grey dress she had seen the other day with frilly pleats at the bottom and extra pleats at the hand and neck. A couple of buttons were added to fasten it properly. She thought it to be beautiful. "It will, very much."Anna laid it on the bed and proceeded to help her unzip. "My Lady, if I may.""What is it?" She stepped out of the dress."This morning…"Beth turned immediately. "Did you speak of it to anyone?""No, no, My Lady. I would never."Her eyebrows rose. "To Thomas?""It is not mine to speak of.""It is no one's to speak of." Beth corrected.Anna held her hands together. "That moment has not visited my lips, Your Grace. No one else knows."She breathed down. "It should stay that way.""Of course.""Thank you." Beth was sorry she had raised her voice at her.Anna removed her g
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LOVING HER DUKE Epilogue 3
She knew he truly cared for her too. Why would he not tell her he loved her? He had cried when he came to know of their child. He protected her from the scorn of the ton and stayed from her when he thought she wanted freedom from him. To Beth, these were all forms of love. Why then would he then not tell her he loved her? His gaze lifted and their eyes locked. "If I do," he whispered. "I'm afraid I would end up losing you." Her heart slammed, filling once more with love for him. she was absolutely breathless now. She never thought she could love him more. He was broken, broken by the tragedy of his parents. Scared that if he admitted aloud to loving her, she would be lost. But Beth knew better, she knew she would not be, she could never love another nor leave him. She loved the Duke of Carlisle and nothing could change it. He was the one she loved. She saw his fear, that he would become like his father, who gave up love to protect his power and title, leaving behind another importa
LOVING HER DUKE Epilogue 2
* * *Beth gasped as Charles's lips took hers, the familiar sensation sending shivers over her body and a known heat to the core of her being. Her eyes closed. He brushed his mouth back and forth against hers as his hands came to her cheeks. Her nostrils tinged. Surprisingly, he smelt like flowers and tasted like the best sunrise.The pebbles dropped and she clasped his shoulders, pulling closer. The pressure increased. His hand held the back of her head as he fought to pry her lips open. She gave in, the kiss was one of hunger and need and longing. He kissed her as if he had sworn his life to it, never wanting to let go.But when air failed her and she protested. He released her mouth.Beth was reeling from the pressure of the kiss and Charles shared her sentiment. His breathing complimented hers as her lungs fought for enough air to keep her alive, while her head fought for thoughts to keep her sane and in place."Darling?" Charles asked as soon as he could breathe naturally.It had
LOVING HER DUKE Epilogue 1
April 1827The rain had finally given up the challenge and let up to a drizzle, but not before creating obstacles in the form of puddles and broken branches, and hiding the moon from sight. In a bid to destroy, the wind had brought down branches and uprooted trees. The workers and the men who catered to the trees would be quite preoccupied in the days to come.The Carlisle coach pulled through, hurtling down the road at the request of its master, bringing itself home. It struggled against the rocks and branches flung about. In the sky, the flashing lightning and cracking thunder gave a promise of the rain's return. It would again storm terrifically, it said.Albert properly held the flowers picked from Torrence Hall when they had made a brief stop, and the cigars Mr. Danbury had given him at Lanhandron for his Lord. Although he had refused, many times, the man did not adhere to him. Did he think there was another merchant who they went to?Charles held freely onto the safety strap as
LOVING HER DUKE I'll Be Here For You
***Charles had finished with his work and was going to his room, walking the dark halls alone. As soon as Albert had finished attending to him, assisting him change his clothes and putting out his documents in his study, he had sent the man away, needing to remain with his ledgers and work without the hovering presence of an overzealous servant.Over the weeks after his return, he had been sitting with his documents, checking and ascertaining to a fault the works of his solicitors and confirming the progress of his estates.Beth and the builders had, to a large extent, established an edifice and he couldn't be more proud of her. The materials needed for the windows and the doors had already been purchased. On a later day, he would pay the site a visit, but he knew there was nothing to worry about.The bank statements and cheques his solicitors had sent were beautiful. The farms were progressing, the lands had been cleared and prepared for planting. The other estates had been renovate
LOVING HER DUKE A Final Goodbye
Beth searched for his emotion, searching to see if he truly was not angry. He wasn't. She turned her away, letting her eyes wander around. The sky was dark and save for the fire, it was all darkness. The wind blew, whispering to the fire, troubling it, and against her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. She sighed. It was warmer at the foot of the hill.How were they on the hill?!"We were standing by the foot of the hill." She mumbled to herself.Eric heard her. "Now, we are here, atop it. Isn't life wonderful?"It was. Wonderful and unpredictable. The grim feeling rose again, and Beth felt uncertain about the future, but she was almost sure of the disaster waiting to happen."Eric, we should not be here." She held his wrist. "This hill_"He cut her off. "What about the hill?" When his smile surfaced, it was one of melancholia. Beth had the silent feeling that he knew of what was to come but would not prevent it. Was he not afraid of it? Was he not scared for the future?If he was not,
LOVING HER DUKE Seeing Eric Again
"Beth. Beth!" Someone was whispering, calling out to her. The voice was close by, as though the caller was by her side, but also like they were afar off. It was a familiar voice. Beth stirred in her sleep, refusing to pay attention to the call, choosing rather to dive deeper into the world of sweet subconsciousness and unawareness."Bethany wake up, it's morning." The voice called again. She turned, pulling the covers higher as she allowed the darkness continuous hold on her tighten. The comfortable sleep carried her and she liked it. She enjoyed it.But the familiar voice would not relent. "Wake up, sister." It called again. She turned away from it, drowning it out. The bed covers wrapped perfectly around her, helping her remain where she was, far from the voice.Again, it called. "Wake up!!!" The caller shook her, forcing her to regain consciousness. She refused but he was as stubborn as her, finally she gave in. Annoyed enough, Beth forced her eyes open.The room was dark at first,
LOVING HER DUKE The Perfect End To The Perfect Night
***Beth stayed with Lady Marjorie who was as excited as a church mouse and the group, laughing gaily at the jokes of Lord Witte. When it broke, she walked with Peter Sinclair, Lord Witte's son-in-law, before excusing herself, telling that her feet were tired and she needed to sit. She walked away to the fountain and sat herself down.The water was beautiful and golden due to the lamps set up about the place. It beckoned and she answered. Her fingers played lightly over the surface of the water and her contact with it caused ripples, distorted and obedient to the slow movement. The lines formed and swept silently by, but before they could scatter she would create yet another set of lines. It was a nonsensical act but it was fun for her, at least for the moment.The Willowbrook sisters had scared her with their words but it had made her receive a promise from Charles, a promise that everyday made life beautiful. Her words to their mother had been true. There was nothing to forgive. The
LOVING HER DUKE She Is Brave
Beth shook her head. "No." She giggled. "Not too long ago, they saw me as a seductress and a thief. Soon they would see me as Bethany, and even if they don't, I am satisfied with being Lady Carlisle, after all Lord Carlisle is my husband, is he not? I would no more care for how people see me, it is their choice but I would demand my honour, it is my right."She was different. She was bolder. What had happened to the timid woman who was angry at the too quick a marriage and the new home she was to own and manage? The same who would always turn her away at every visit? Marjorie liked this woman. She was good for Charles. She was good for the Duchy. She was good for herself. Like this, she could face society and win even though many people still held contempt against her.She was brave."You are braver than I am and I consider myself quite brave. Marrying John was one of the greatest joys of my life, but there were days I was forced to regret it."The same people who bowed to her now, se
LOVING HER DUKE Seen Only As Lady Carlisle Now
***Marjorie turned her head at every approaching carriage, hoping it to be the one from Carlisle Crest. They had not promised to be in attendance but she hoped they would, seeing as they had not rejected the invitation either. She wanted them to be more aligned with the ton and her ways, even if just a little bit. It was alright to have one's dealings, but society had some rules and breaking so many of them l might lead to not being accepted or worse invited to its norms and functions ever again. She knew Charles didn't care for societal rules but she did, and perhaps Beth might too and it would be cruel to steal it from the young woman.Mrs. Blackwell, Jacob Blackwell's new and older wife, waved to her and she waved in return. They did not run in the same circle but she was a nice woman who, like her, had defiled society and married the man she loved. When Mrs. Blackwell invited her in with a gesture, she refused and gesticulated back, saying she would be in the open area in a matte
