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Introspection
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2024-01-16 05:01:04Related chapters
LOVING HER DUKE Gwen Had An Admirer?
She met with Thomas on her way to the Ballroom."Your Grace, I was wondering where you were." He was always searching for her.Beth sidestepped, avoiding the men carrying the miniature stature meant for the Ballroom. The Dowager Duchess had insisted on it. "What is wrong?""Have a care with that." Thomas yelled to the men when they stumbled. They apologized. "The last invitation has been sent out, and this letter came from your Aunt."She received it. "Thank you. Have you asked the tables to be put close to the wall, by the windows?""I supervised it myself." His lips pulled slightly. "Do not worry, Your Grace. Your Ball would be grand."She nodded. She did not need it to be grand, it should not be a flop. But he was right. There was nothing to bother about. "My instructor should be arriving soon, prepare for him. For now, ask Anna to come to my bedchamber.""Of course, Ma'am."Beth made for her room.From the top of the stairs, she took a moment to look at the preparations that were
Last Updated : 2024-01-16LOVING HER DUKE His Grace Has Returned
She had been stupid enough to see only how his actions affected her, but blind to how her words affected him. Beth sighed."Will this do?"Beth turned and studied the dress Anna held up. It was the simple grey dress she had seen the other day with frilly pleats at the bottom and extra pleats at the hand and neck. A couple of buttons were added to fasten it properly. She thought it to be beautiful. "It will, very much."Anna laid it on the bed and proceeded to help her unzip. "My Lady, if I may.""What is it?" She stepped out of the dress."This morning…"Beth turned immediately. "Did you speak of it to anyone?""No, no, My Lady. I would never."Her eyebrows rose. "To Thomas?""It is not mine to speak of.""It is no one's to speak of." Beth corrected.Anna held her hands together. "That moment has not visited my lips, Your Grace. No one else knows."She breathed down. "It should stay that way.""Of course.""Thank you." Beth was sorry she had raised her voice at her.Anna removed her g
Last Updated : 2024-01-17LOVING HER DUKE His Knowledge Of Her
Beth must be a younger version of his mother.That was the conclusion Charles arrived at when the carriage pulled up at Carlisle Crest. He took his time getting out of it, positively marvelled at how much the mansion had changed in the short while he was away.The hedges had been trimmed to another pattern, the main door had a wreath on it, the windows were all opened and the fountain had a vine twined around the statue. She must possess his mother's spirit when preparation was involved.A neighing horse drew his attention and he turned to the mare being led out into the fields. Clover. She was a calm, obedient horse who was as spirited as a freeman. She would accord you control until she felt you no longer deserved it. She took off running as soon as she was let off her leash, sprinting through the open fields, glad to be free.Beth wanted to be free. Like the mare she must feel caught on a leash. She must want her freedom as desperately too, he thought.Thomas rushed out of the hous
Last Updated : 2024-01-17LOVING HER DUKE The Impulse To Go To Her
Charles felt the impulse to go to her, to go search for her, but instead, he walked over to the adjoining door and stood there. His hand grabbed onto the doorknob and stayed. He would not turn, he only stared at it.For how long he was there, he did not know. Was this how close he could stand to her? Would he ever always stand by her with an obstacle repelling him? This time, it was a door. What would it be next time?He removed his hand and sent it to his pocket, his cigar wasting away. He did not want to go anywhere else. If this was how close he could stand to her, he would accept it. For now.She did not need him by her anyways and he had promised to give her freedom to be whoever she wished. He would not go back on that oath."My Lady, Mr. Winston is here."Charles raised his head. She had been in the room all along? While he was standing there pondering about their relationship and useless things, she had been there? Charles almost decided to go to her, but he wouldn't. His oath
Last Updated : 2024-01-17LOVING HER DUKE His Beautiful, Dancing Wife
* * *As he made a bend, the light tapping on the piano reached him. It was fast and upbeat and it left Charles with curiosity. Was Beth dancing to such fast music? He wanted to see how she was going about it. Subconsciously, he hastened towards the room.There she was, standing metres away from the piano, hands posed in the air, as though she held onto someone. She was wearing a dark-coloured dress that gave a bit of colour to her pale skin. His inside did a weird flip. Oh, how beautiful she was.She had her hair down over her shoulders, and even though Charles loved it that way, it made him curious about her wound. Had it healed yet? Was it why she still had her hair down? He was getting angry, but he searched for control and found her voice. He found control. Charles huffed, breathing down, trying to control himself. He couldn't afford to be a monster, not after the last time.The pianist continued to pluck on the keys, increasing the tempo and Beth danced to it. She moved her feet
Last Updated : 2024-01-17LOVING HER DUKE Plans And Actions
Charles could feel her nerves. Her pulse was jumpy under his thumb and her eyes raced between the instructor and him. He could feel her trying to step away from him, but he would be damned if he let her. He tightened his hold on her waist. She has been far away for long.If her presence in his life would cause his past demons to return, then they should gallop back in, but he would annihilate them before they could hurt her. He twirled her again and pulled her even closer at the end, placing his hand lower than before. If she noticed, she did not mention."His Grace is an excellent dancer as well. Oh, this is beautiful." Mr. Winston praised. "Martha, are you seeing this?"Charles wanted to tell the man to stop talking. His voice was a distraction, and an annoyance. A third time, he twirled her, but this time she fell on him. He let her, catching her to himself as the music ended.Everyone clapped.Beth slowly looked up to him, bringing her head away from his chest. His large hand move
Last Updated : 2024-01-17LOVING HER DUKE Meeting With Lord Carlisle
He took her waving hand in his and held it tightly and held her gaze, then he did what he had never done before. He pulled her closer to himself, and kissed her cheek, startling her. "Friends."* * *She woke up the next morning energized and ready for the day. She was spending it with Lord Carlisle.Over dinner, the previous day, he had proposed they spend the day together, and Beth had agreed without hesitating. They would forsake all of their duties and dilly-dally the hours away, going horseback riding.The day would be cold, but Beth did not care and agreed as soon as Lord Carlisle suggested. She had been so surprised at his preposition that she had jumped at it. A thick dress and an even thicker shawl should be enough to keep the cold at bay.A quick, warm bath was all it took to prepare her for the cold outside. At the vanity table, Anna brushed down her hair while she smiled uncontrollably. She could not help it. It was the happiest she had been in a while.Lord Carlisle h
Last Updated : 2024-01-18LOVING HER DUKE Horseback Riding
* * *Beth was as excited as her mare who was eager to cover more ground and would canter ahead of Lord's Carlisle's black gelding. Her reins had to be pulled multiple times to stay her so Beth and Lord Carlisle could ride side-by-side. Lord Carlisle did not seem to mind.The horizon was perfect, the sky was beautiful and the path had been recently cleared. Even though the trees stripped naked by the winter did not compliment it enough, the view was wonderful to behold. Some evergreen laid to the right of their path and Beth could smell them from where they were.The day was cold as expected, but the sun was warm on her face. Winter was kind to Carlisle and she enjoyed it greatly. Her horse tried to increase its pace again but Beth declined with a quick pull of the reins."She is eager." Lord Carlisle said from beside her. He directed his horse and bumped into hers. The mare neighed, complaining. Beth laughed."Well, I intend to enjoy every moment of this day. She should be my ally."
Last Updated : 2024-01-18
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LOVING HER DUKE Epilogue 3
She knew he truly cared for her too. Why would he not tell her he loved her? He had cried when he came to know of their child. He protected her from the scorn of the ton and stayed from her when he thought she wanted freedom from him. To Beth, these were all forms of love. Why then would he then not tell her he loved her? His gaze lifted and their eyes locked. "If I do," he whispered. "I'm afraid I would end up losing you." Her heart slammed, filling once more with love for him. she was absolutely breathless now. She never thought she could love him more. He was broken, broken by the tragedy of his parents. Scared that if he admitted aloud to loving her, she would be lost. But Beth knew better, she knew she would not be, she could never love another nor leave him. She loved the Duke of Carlisle and nothing could change it. He was the one she loved. She saw his fear, that he would become like his father, who gave up love to protect his power and title, leaving behind another importa
LOVING HER DUKE Epilogue 2
* * *Beth gasped as Charles's lips took hers, the familiar sensation sending shivers over her body and a known heat to the core of her being. Her eyes closed. He brushed his mouth back and forth against hers as his hands came to her cheeks. Her nostrils tinged. Surprisingly, he smelt like flowers and tasted like the best sunrise.The pebbles dropped and she clasped his shoulders, pulling closer. The pressure increased. His hand held the back of her head as he fought to pry her lips open. She gave in, the kiss was one of hunger and need and longing. He kissed her as if he had sworn his life to it, never wanting to let go.But when air failed her and she protested. He released her mouth.Beth was reeling from the pressure of the kiss and Charles shared her sentiment. His breathing complimented hers as her lungs fought for enough air to keep her alive, while her head fought for thoughts to keep her sane and in place."Darling?" Charles asked as soon as he could breathe naturally.It had
LOVING HER DUKE Epilogue 1
April 1827The rain had finally given up the challenge and let up to a drizzle, but not before creating obstacles in the form of puddles and broken branches, and hiding the moon from sight. In a bid to destroy, the wind had brought down branches and uprooted trees. The workers and the men who catered to the trees would be quite preoccupied in the days to come.The Carlisle coach pulled through, hurtling down the road at the request of its master, bringing itself home. It struggled against the rocks and branches flung about. In the sky, the flashing lightning and cracking thunder gave a promise of the rain's return. It would again storm terrifically, it said.Albert properly held the flowers picked from Torrence Hall when they had made a brief stop, and the cigars Mr. Danbury had given him at Lanhandron for his Lord. Although he had refused, many times, the man did not adhere to him. Did he think there was another merchant who they went to?Charles held freely onto the safety strap as
LOVING HER DUKE I'll Be Here For You
***Charles had finished with his work and was going to his room, walking the dark halls alone. As soon as Albert had finished attending to him, assisting him change his clothes and putting out his documents in his study, he had sent the man away, needing to remain with his ledgers and work without the hovering presence of an overzealous servant.Over the weeks after his return, he had been sitting with his documents, checking and ascertaining to a fault the works of his solicitors and confirming the progress of his estates.Beth and the builders had, to a large extent, established an edifice and he couldn't be more proud of her. The materials needed for the windows and the doors had already been purchased. On a later day, he would pay the site a visit, but he knew there was nothing to worry about.The bank statements and cheques his solicitors had sent were beautiful. The farms were progressing, the lands had been cleared and prepared for planting. The other estates had been renovate
LOVING HER DUKE A Final Goodbye
Beth searched for his emotion, searching to see if he truly was not angry. He wasn't. She turned her away, letting her eyes wander around. The sky was dark and save for the fire, it was all darkness. The wind blew, whispering to the fire, troubling it, and against her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. She sighed. It was warmer at the foot of the hill.How were they on the hill?!"We were standing by the foot of the hill." She mumbled to herself.Eric heard her. "Now, we are here, atop it. Isn't life wonderful?"It was. Wonderful and unpredictable. The grim feeling rose again, and Beth felt uncertain about the future, but she was almost sure of the disaster waiting to happen."Eric, we should not be here." She held his wrist. "This hill_"He cut her off. "What about the hill?" When his smile surfaced, it was one of melancholia. Beth had the silent feeling that he knew of what was to come but would not prevent it. Was he not afraid of it? Was he not scared for the future?If he was not,
LOVING HER DUKE Seeing Eric Again
"Beth. Beth!" Someone was whispering, calling out to her. The voice was close by, as though the caller was by her side, but also like they were afar off. It was a familiar voice. Beth stirred in her sleep, refusing to pay attention to the call, choosing rather to dive deeper into the world of sweet subconsciousness and unawareness."Bethany wake up, it's morning." The voice called again. She turned, pulling the covers higher as she allowed the darkness continuous hold on her tighten. The comfortable sleep carried her and she liked it. She enjoyed it.But the familiar voice would not relent. "Wake up, sister." It called again. She turned away from it, drowning it out. The bed covers wrapped perfectly around her, helping her remain where she was, far from the voice.Again, it called. "Wake up!!!" The caller shook her, forcing her to regain consciousness. She refused but he was as stubborn as her, finally she gave in. Annoyed enough, Beth forced her eyes open.The room was dark at first,
LOVING HER DUKE The Perfect End To The Perfect Night
***Beth stayed with Lady Marjorie who was as excited as a church mouse and the group, laughing gaily at the jokes of Lord Witte. When it broke, she walked with Peter Sinclair, Lord Witte's son-in-law, before excusing herself, telling that her feet were tired and she needed to sit. She walked away to the fountain and sat herself down.The water was beautiful and golden due to the lamps set up about the place. It beckoned and she answered. Her fingers played lightly over the surface of the water and her contact with it caused ripples, distorted and obedient to the slow movement. The lines formed and swept silently by, but before they could scatter she would create yet another set of lines. It was a nonsensical act but it was fun for her, at least for the moment.The Willowbrook sisters had scared her with their words but it had made her receive a promise from Charles, a promise that everyday made life beautiful. Her words to their mother had been true. There was nothing to forgive. The
LOVING HER DUKE She Is Brave
Beth shook her head. "No." She giggled. "Not too long ago, they saw me as a seductress and a thief. Soon they would see me as Bethany, and even if they don't, I am satisfied with being Lady Carlisle, after all Lord Carlisle is my husband, is he not? I would no more care for how people see me, it is their choice but I would demand my honour, it is my right."She was different. She was bolder. What had happened to the timid woman who was angry at the too quick a marriage and the new home she was to own and manage? The same who would always turn her away at every visit? Marjorie liked this woman. She was good for Charles. She was good for the Duchy. She was good for herself. Like this, she could face society and win even though many people still held contempt against her.She was brave."You are braver than I am and I consider myself quite brave. Marrying John was one of the greatest joys of my life, but there were days I was forced to regret it."The same people who bowed to her now, se
LOVING HER DUKE Seen Only As Lady Carlisle Now
***Marjorie turned her head at every approaching carriage, hoping it to be the one from Carlisle Crest. They had not promised to be in attendance but she hoped they would, seeing as they had not rejected the invitation either. She wanted them to be more aligned with the ton and her ways, even if just a little bit. It was alright to have one's dealings, but society had some rules and breaking so many of them l might lead to not being accepted or worse invited to its norms and functions ever again. She knew Charles didn't care for societal rules but she did, and perhaps Beth might too and it would be cruel to steal it from the young woman.Mrs. Blackwell, Jacob Blackwell's new and older wife, waved to her and she waved in return. They did not run in the same circle but she was a nice woman who, like her, had defiled society and married the man she loved. When Mrs. Blackwell invited her in with a gesture, she refused and gesticulated back, saying she would be in the open area in a matte
