REASON BEHIND TEARS

@ALEKHYA ROYAL POV@

according to world I'm the luckiest person  best husband and best daughter good status and everything but I regret onething in my whole life 

if I have a chance I want to change everything the sin I committed though its not my mistake I let someone suffer because of me 

I want to forget but how can I forget the unforgivable mistake by me I want to correct it its 20 years still I didn't proved I'm innocent 

may be I can't prove myself as innocent ever there is no way left for me to prove my innocence 

I'm laughing for outer world but crying inside my heart every day the more I'm laughing for others the more I'm crying inside 

I'm living like a living corpse dying every day with guilt in my heart I'm burning into ashes alive only 

how can I get rid of this burden in my heart how can I calm myself I know how important day is today at the sametime I know what kind of day is today 

I don't know whether to be happy because my daughter's birthday today or to cry because of the dark past on this day 

no matter how many people around me I can't share my pain with anyone because no one can understand too 

I seen my daughter's calm and cute face while sleeping how peacefully she is sleeping my mood booster 

she is her dad's little princess and my little angel the happiness she bought in our life became more wonderful her dad didn't let me have another child because he don't want anyone to take his princess place infact I too never wanted another child other than my cute princess 

but everytime I look at her I remembers the past her smile, her words are so similar and her birthday this day is the most memorable day to me because this little princess came at the same time a unforgettable mistake by me even though it's not intentional 

why god why since from 20 years you're punishing me are you not satisfied still why you're making this hard for me to live sometimes I feel my life is burden to me why God why only me 

I never hurted anyone but why this punishment for me I have everything wonderful life partner, lovely kid, luxurious life more than these all a biggest regret making my life burden 

I stood from there and went to terrace to let go of my tears I'm hiding suddenly I seen someone's shadow behind me I turned to see it's my princess I hurriedly wiped my tears

princess : how many years you'll hide your tears from me mom 

me : what do you mean princess 

princess : I know you consider me as a kid still but do you think your kid can't notice your tears I know mom how every night you cries 

I used to think in childhood you got hiccups because you're thirsty but later I understood that those hiccups were not because of your thirst but because of your hidden tears am I wrong mom 

me : I think you misunderstood something princess 

princess : yeah mom because only four people know about your tears every night one you, two your pillow, three me and four that god as per the reason for your tears only two people knows one is you and other one is that god 

me : please princess 

princess : no mom I can't stay calm in this situation from years I'm being calm you know what hurts me most it's your tears today is my birthday everyone is happy except you why mom am I the reason behind your tears 

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I shouted "NO NO NO" how can she think like that she is my happiness she is the reason for me to live 

I hugged her and said "no princess you're my biggest treasure reason behind my smile" then she asked with tears "then why are you sad mom say" 

I nodded my head because she should know it one day why can't it be today I told her everything which was killing me everyday to my surprise she hugged me and said "it's not your mistake mom don't be upset you didn't do any wrong" 

I smiled I felt relief to her words may be due to lack of shoulder or person to express my pain I feel burden 

she asked "mom what's that family name" I remained calm because it became years I taken that name out she called me again "mom" I said "RAIZADA FAMILY" 

then only I heard a scream "Alekhya" its Anand I became calm he said "how many times I told you not to mention that family name but today you told that too to my princess" 

princess said "dad it's not mom mistake i forced her to say" he said "you don't know anything about them princess" by saying that he left 

princess said "sorry mom because of me dad shouted on you" I wiped her tears and said "no little baby because of you my burden decreased I'm okay" she smiled and said "I will make you smile wholeheartedly mom I will not let you live with regret" I didn't understood meaning of her words but somewhere a confidence came to me that one day there will be no regret to me I smiled 

we both went to room he is already on bed turning around 

I slept at the corner princess slept in middle and pulled her dad hand he kept his hand then she pulled my hand too and said "dad don't be angry on mom if not I wont talk to you" she knows his weakness very well 

he said "how can you say that princess" she pouted and said "I don't know apologize to mom and kiss her if not your wish" he said "you are using my daughter against me" she said "dad" he replied "fine sorry my love" and he kissed on my forehead and then his little princess forehead 

she slept again he caressed my hair and said "I'm sorry love" I asked "why again you said already na"

 he replied "you might think that because of princess but really I'm sorry I didn't understood you and situation but I hurted even knowing how much pain you're facing alone I'm extremely sorry love" 

I said "no I understood I'm happy that my cute princess is grown up now and she is giving courage to me" he said proudly "ofcourse she is my daughter" I chuckled to his behavior 

he smiled and said "I will never shout again love, you both are my life lines" I smiled and said "love you" he replied "love you too" I closed my eyes even after all these years his love on me never decreased he always treasures me he is the best husband according to me

princess words are revolving in my mind still don't know why she said like that slowly I drifted into sleep