CHAPTER 1

GAIA

My eyes slowly opened but the blinding lights shut them back again as if they were a cause and effect and I tried to make sense of everything around me

I could not move, I could not ask for water to ease my dry throat, I could not tell the doctor that my head was splitting or that he should do everything in his power to save my baby, but the pain in my belly was still there. 

All I could do was lay there while I was being wheeled in. I felt life slipping away from me, the blood in my veins rushing back and forth from my heart. 

I was not sure what happened. One moment, I was holding a cup of my herbal tea, and the next, I was clutching my stomach sure to the piercing pain that was shooting through it. The air was knocked out of my lungs, so I couldn't call for help.  

I assumed it was labor pains because this was my first child. I was thrilled to have another family member after five years of marriage to my husband. 

Who wouldn't? Ever since witnessing the love between my parents, I had prayed for a typical love marriage, but this one had not exactly been that. 

Theirs was a love marriage. It is what I have always desired. 

Not this. Not on this battleground with Javon. 

It was not a marriage, and there was no love. Deals were made. There was an agreement between his family and mine that their children would get married to guarantee the continuation of their business relationship. 

My life had been ruined by that decision. 

“Blood pressure has increased to a hundred and eighty. Heart rates went up. Is she... stoned?”

What? I would not do that. I have been extra cautious ever since I learned I was pregnant because I knew this baby would be the start of my happiness. 

Why would I take a chance on that by using drugs? 

I wanted to tell the doctor to stop talking garbage because I would never use drugs and to stop just standing there doing nothing. The pain in my stomach was killing me. Unfortunately, all that came out was,

“Please save my baby."

Then I was overcome by the darkness. 

The damn heart monitor next to me woke me up with its non-stop beeping. 

I tried to find a nurse or ask for assistance by looking around, but I was having trouble seeing much in front of me. 

However, I could hear. 

"Hi, boss? Yes, it's me.”. 

I knew that voice. Where did I know that voice from?

 “ I followed your instructions. The plan has been successful, and I have been giving her the tea as you requested. She lost the baby.” 

Suddenly, my sleepy eyes snapped open, and the heart monitor began to beat faster. 

Perhaps she was not referring to me. Yes, I couldn't see who was speaking, so perhaps it was not me. 

Where was my baby, then? I looked around the room to find any proof that my baby was alive. 

A tear slipped down my face before I could even realize that I was crying. My baby was dead, gone from me. 

I wanted to jump off the bed and ask the person they were talking about, but my body would not move. Lying there, I tried to make sense of what I had just heard. 

That is not possible, at all. This was my first pregnancy, so my child could not die. I'd been told that first-time mothers didn't miscarry 

I wanted to make sure. 

Immediately, the door opened, and I quickly closed my eyes again, feigning sleep. 

The person walked around the room, the person came inside and I was alert In case they wanted to finish me off too.

Their perfume. 

Being in this position lulled me to sleep again and I needed that for the truth I was going to have to face when I woke up again. 

*********

This time around, when I woke up, there were people in the room. 

Evan, the head of the security team was there and of course, where he was, there were security guards. 

About six of them filled their large bodies into my room and I sat up, feeling a bit stronger than the last times. 

“Evan” he turned back immediately, removing the phone pressed against his ear, and walked up to me. 

My throat hurt so I motioned to it and he collected a bottle of water from one of his men. 

“Madam, how are you doing?" 

I looked for anything in his face that would tell me the truth about what had happened but I didn't see anything. 

“Evan, where's my baby?”

His face dropped. That was the look I was looking for and it hurt my heart. 

“Evan, where is my baby?” I asked again like he didn't hear me the last time. 

He brought the stool closer, sat down, and watched this movement, the anticipation for his answer heightening. 

“Madam, I'm sorry I have bad news. The doctor says that the amount of drugs in your system was so much that they had to flush your blood system to try and save the baby but it was too late. You were brought in too late.”

 I heard two things. 

That I was high and that my baby was dead. 

I didn't know which to answer first. 

“What- what do you mean, Evan? Are you trying to say my baby is dead? Is that what you're trying to say?! Is it?!” 

All eyes were on me in the room and I could feel all of them saying the same thing at the same time. 

“No! I don't believe it." I threw the covers back and made a move to get off the bed but he stopped me. 

“Madam, please, I can't let you do that. It's a risk to your health. You’ve not been cleared by the doctor.”

I turned back to him, anger burning in my chest.

“You’re telling me my baby is dead and you expect me not to do anything?!” 

The tears in my eyes blurred my vision as I tried to make sense of the information. 

So, I had killed my baby?