BREE"I guess so."Iyon lang, mabilis kong iniwan ang kapatid at ang matalik na kaibigan. Natural calamity naman ang pagdating ng pulis, hindi ba?Malalaki ang hakbang na bingatas ko ang hallway, my destination is the lobby. Mabuti at nasa akin ang stub ng gamit namin. I will dial the mergency hotline and report this place. Hindi naman siguro aabutin ng mahigit sa isang oras ang pagresponde ng mga pulis kahit pa makapal ang traffic.Abot tanaw ko na ang maliit na hagdan na maghahatid sa akin sa mismong arena nang may makasalubong ako. They are both tall, covered with inks and wear suits. Panay ang halakhak ng isa habang nakikinig sa joke ng mas matangkad na kasama.Call it instict, but I knew that they are bad news. Yumuko ako, mataktikang gumilid. Pigil ang hininga ko habang papalapit kami sa isa't isa.Please don't make them see me."Wow. Chicks. Kung bwebwenasin ka nga naman talaga."Nanlamig ako pero hindi ako huminto, nag aktong wala akong narinig. Nilakihan ko ang mga hakbang. I
LEV I KILLED AND STARTED a war for her. Pitong katagang nagselyo ng kapalaran namin ni Bree. I am a man of facts. My world revolves around numbers and logic but all of it became smoke when I saw her pinned against the wall, terrorized by a man. Hilam ang luha, helpless. Scared. It happened all at once. I sliced the neck of the first bastard who's jacking off on the side, grinning with the whole show. Two seconds and the life in his eyes disappear. And then I drew my gun, aimed, and fired. A hole was drilled on the back of the bastard whose groping Bree. Satisfying? No. But I do what I had to do. It's messy, she screamed. By the time I pulled her trembling body against mine, I know right there and then, that there was no turning back to the whole clusterfuck. The whole damn situation is a freaking entropy but I don't give two cents. Naka focus ako sa bagay–taong nasa bisig ko, si Bree. Panay ang yawyaw sa akin ni Trace nang nasa sasakyan kami, telling me bullshits like we've los
LEV"I want to fuck you, kiska. Hanggang sa mabura sa isip mo ang nangyari kanina. O, ang galit ko. Until, I am sated and contented. I want to fuck every single fear inside off you. Hanggang sa ako na lang ang nasa isip mo. Ang mga haplos ko na lang ang mararamdaman mo." Puno nang poot na anas ko. My lips traveling from her jaw up to her eyes, her nose and stopped just an inch above her lips.Nagdilat ako nang mga mata. Pinaraanan ko ng dila ang labi ko, appreciating her beauty."I want to soil you. Ruin your innocence. . . Put you back together, piece by fucking piece.""Y-you're mad. Psycho.""Hmm. I am. But you are my madness, Bree. Ikaw ang psychosis ko. And right now, I don't know if I want to kill you or kiss you."She gasp at that. Namumula na ang buong mukha nito. Cute.I chose the former. Mas lalo kong diniinan ang pagkakasakal sa dalaga 'cause doing the latter means I won't be able to stop. I will go back to the rabbit hole and never come out.Shit. I am unhinged and a mess.
LEVBEING the head of a secret criminal group is easy. That's what some shit philosopher wannabe said. According to him, there are two basic ingredients for success.First, you need to be scary. Not just ghost and spooky kind. Iyong tipong mabanggit lang ang pangalan mo, manginginig o maiihi na sa takot ang makakarinig noon. Well, needless to say, I got it covered. The moment they see my right hand, the one with a wolf tattoo, they know it's their end. To say that my reputation precedes me is an understatement.I don't just elicit fear, I am fear.Second and the most important one, you need to be smart. Not the nerdy and genius type. I am referring to the type who can eat his enemy for breakfast while slicing one during a meeting. The street-slash cunning type of smart.Why? The answer is simple.'Cause life is a never ending battle. Mula sa panahong protina pa lang tayo't nakikipag unahan sa paglangoy sa sinapupunan ng ina natin l, para sa karapatan nating maging tao, hanggang sa una
LEV"Enough, Patricio." I snarled. "Kung gusto ko ng babae, hindi ko kailangan ng tulong ng sinuman. I'll just wave my hand and they'll fall to my feet. I want her. Just. Her."Halos madurog ang baso sa kamay ko. Nangangati akong ihagis ang hawak ko but I rein myself. I've been all over the place lately dahil kay Bree, ayoko nang dagdagan pa iyon. For a self proclaimed OC and calm and collected, masyado na akong magulo't mainitin ang ulo."Enough? Sabihin mo sa sarili mo iyan. Puta, Lev. Nag mi-mid life crisis ka na ba? Tang inang buhay 'to. Mas madali pang intindihin ang Mandarin manual kaysa sa utak mo." Puno ng sarkasmo ang tinig na ani Trace."Call it what you want, paki ko. Anong hindi n'yo maintindihan sa sinabi ko kanina? This is for Foedus. Making an alliance with the council will make our transaction smooth. Its time we make strong connections. Period." Nilagok ko ang inumin."You're sacrificing for the greater good ganoon ba?"Lumingon ako't tumango kay Dax. Iling lang ang i
LEV"Me and Bree.""No way! My daughter is off limits. She's to be wed to someone from our circle." Sigaw ni Gener sabay daluhong sa akin. Pero mabilis itong nahawakan ni Vin at ni Frank.Balewalang pinagpag ko ang coat, pretending it has some lint. My nonchalant attitude makes the old man yell to the point of madness. Can I just shoot him in between his eyes para maitakas ko na lang si Bree? So much for being diplomatic. The thought of her being with someone else conjure the barbaric and violent side of me."Gener, calm the fuck down.""How can I? Parang karne lang na hinihingi ng animal na 'to ang anak ko.""Isn't that what you are known for? Bartering your women like commodities to secure some deals? Ba't nao-offend ka?" Malamig kong tanong. "Tulad ng sabi mo kanina. . . Traditions.""Shut up! You don't get to judge us. That's our rule. Our tradition. Not yours!"I shrugged my shoulders."I am not judging you. I am here to make business. Sinusunod ko nga ang rules n'yo eh. When in
BREE'Behave. I'll see you on Friday.'Iyon ang mga huling salitang binitawan ni Lev bago ako iwan sa gitna ng dilim, tutop ang bibig ang kumakabog ang dibdib. Enthralled and confused.Shit. That rhymes. Okay, the first part may sound like broken poetry but my point is, that's how I felt towards the man and his presence.He's an enigma. And I'm doomed."Wait. Is he asking me for a date?" Parang baliw na tanong ko sa sarili nang ma-realize ang kahulugan sa likod niyon.Inis na sinabunutan ko ang buhok baka sakaling mahanap ko ang sense sa lahat ng ito. Nang walang makapa, itinukod ang mga kamay sa railings ng bintana. May kalahating oras nang nakaalis si Lev pero nakatanga pa rin ako sa bintana't nakatunghay sa gazebo kung saan kami nakatayo't nag usap kanina.Tila broken record na nagpe-playback sa utak ko ang mga nangyari.Lev kissed me, softly at first and then passionately. The man unapologetically claimed my lips twice in a row, sweeping me off my feet in ways I couldn't imagine p
BREEI pout."Hell. Galing ka ba talaga sa taong 'to, Lev? Baka naman ka-chokaran mo si Rizal or si Heneral Luna?"I heard some clicking in the background. He groaned, and I smile haughtily."Games. Duh.""May Snakes 'yang cellphone mo. You can play that to kill time.""Camera? SocMed? Come on, Lev. Para ka ring si Ally at ang dad.""Look. I know this is hard for you but it shouldn't be, trust me. The sole purpose of the phone is communication. Of me talking to you and making my demons at bay. Stop complaining. Noong high school ako, walang cellphone.""Dahil batang 90's ka! Kasalanan ko bang nauna kang ipanganak sa akin?""B'layd. Don't test me, Bree. Babawiin ko yan. At saka ba't mo kailangan ng high end na phone kung wala ka namang access sa social media mo?""H-how did you know that?"Before he can answer my question, narinig ko ang boses ng isa sa mga tauhan nito sa background telling him that he has visitor."I need to go. Again, give me an update when you're going to class tomo
BREEKAHIT saan ko ibaling ang paningin kadiliman ang nakikita ko. The starless sky. The pitch black sea and my bleak future.My world was now wrapped with thick black clouds. An abyss and endless darkness I wouldn't be able to escape cause I am part of it.They made me part of it.I'm filthy and destroyed.They did this to me.And I'm getting back the rein now. I will dictate how this will end.At isa lang ang nakikita kong paraan. Death.Walang kasing pait ang ngiting sumilay sa labi ko. Ano pang silbi ng buhay ko matapos ang lahat ng nangyari sa 'kin? Wala na.I have nothing.No future. No Lev and no dreams. I'm just a shell, walking aimlessly. Numb. I'm as good as dead anyway.Itinaas ko ang mga braso't hinayaan ang malakas na hangin at dagat na tangayin ang buhok ko't sirang gown.Tumingala ako't mapait na napangiti nang tumama sa mukha ko ang mahinang patak ng ulan."Is this your mercy? Are you mocking me, Lord? Or are you just l-lonely–for me!" Sigaw ko sa tahimik na gabi. Tangin
BREEWE collect scars. Battle scars. Sa dami ng nakolekta ko I think I can make a mosaic from it. It's made up of different mistakes but dominated by two colors– black and white. Never gray. Specifically not red. But after tonight, I know that it's a lie. I was just too blind to see the crimson dripping from every corner of the canvas that is my life.Buong buhay ko, pinaniwala ko ang sariling hindi ako kailanman maabot ng kasalan ng pamilya ko. That me being the only girl in the family and my zero knowledge with their dealings made me somehow an innocent onlooker. There's a rule to every exemption, right? Akala ko ako 'yon. Nakalimutan kong hindi nga pala iyon applicable sa mundo namin.Kasalanan ng ama, kasalanan ng lahat. That's how our world operates.Unlucky for me, I'm the one reaping the seeds of their sins. Ang hirap lang dahil sobrang laki ng sinigil sa akin. Buhay, pangarap at puso ko. Sinong dapat kong sisihin ngayon?Ang ama dahil sa kapalaulaang ginawa niya? Ang sarili ko
BREE"That's the whole fucking plan, Bree. Hurt the rest of your family. Get even. Your hell, my heaven, right? Pero mapagbiro ang putang inang tadhana. Dumating ka. You are the very definition of fucking off-limits! Pero dahil gago ako, baliw, I ignored it. I dive head-on, Bree. Into you. Fuck consequences. But this– I don't sign up for this." Bawat bitaw n'ya ng mga salita'y puno ng poot at pait.I can't stand it anymore. Tuluyan na akong humagulgol. I am helpless and at his mercy. My heart broke not just for me but for him also. I'm shaking like a leaf when I looked at him."I c-can explain. W-wala akong alam sa plano ng papa ko. I swear. Maniwala ka. . . Please." Lumuluhang samo ko. Lihim akong nagdarasal na sana'y hindi pa huli ang lahat.Na sana, abot-kamay ko pa rin ang Lev na minahal at hinayaan akong haplusin siya't mahalin.Dumaan ang confusion sa mga mata ni Lev pero dagli ring nawala iyon. It's back to its icy state."Stop lying to me. Pare-pareho lang kayo. Ikaw. Ang mga
BREETHIRTY minutes and five glasses of punch later, I'm running outside the parking lot with my purse in my left hand and cellphone in my right. Mabilis ang tahip ng dibdib ko sa pinaghalong adrenaline at inis.He's in his office. Maybe, in his basement. August will hand you the RFID. You don't hear it from me. Good luck.- T.DMensahe 'yon mula kay Trace. So Lev's in his lair, hiding from me. Why?You know why.Natigilan ako. Mukhang nag-materialize na ang kinatatakutan ko. Nalaman na ni Lev ang pangdo-double cross sa kanya ng ama ko. Knowing him, he'll think this as betrayal on my part."No."Nanginig ang kalamnan ko. Habol ang hiningang itinaas ko ang kamay upang parahin ang taxi. I ignored Theo and Indi, who were hot on my wake. Nilunod ng sumarang pinto ng taxi ang nag-aalalang boses ng dalawa. I need to see him and explain my side. He'll listen to me. Kesehodang manikluhod ako sa harapan niya, gagawin ko. Habang nasa biyahe, ilang senaryo na ang naglalaro sa utak ko. My knees bo
BREELIVING is so freaking expensive. Life will give you a bill so long, you'll end up broke. Literally and figuratively. I embody it–the brokenness, as I stand in front of our campus gate waiting for Lev, pacing back and forth.Seems that I paid handsomely just for a glimpse of happiness pero mukhang galit at pagkawasak ng puso ang maiuuwi ko?Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses akong nagparoo't parito. Rinig ko na nga ang mga pikon na buntong-hininga ng mga guwardiya ng school namin, pero wala akong pake. I'm seething with anger as I searched the crowded parking lot. Once na maispatan ko ang kotse ng animal, lalaslasin ko talaga ang gulong n'ya.The nerve! Saan ka nakakakita ng date na nauna pa sa venue ang babae?"How dare him stood me up! Usapan alas-7 ng gabi, mag a-alas otso na. Akala ba niya bukas ang grad ball? Hayup ka, Lev. Sasakalin kita." Naiiyak na bulong ko habang sa back ground ay rinig ko ang malakas na tunog ng sound system at ang boses ng emcee, calling the student
LEV"Kinalawang ka na ba? Asan ang El Diablo na pinagyayabang nila? Gago. Makikipagtitigan ka lang ba sa 'kin?"I spit. When I speak, the calmness in my tone betrays the turmoil I feel."I'm just being generous. Kapag tinapos kita ngayon, uuwi na ang mga tao. Sayang naman ang binayad nila sa ticket."Namula ang mukha nito."Hambog!" Sabay sugod sa akin. Ngunit bago tumama ang sipa niya sa katawan ko, nakailag na ako.I jump, turn and gave him a sidekick that landed on his left jaw. Sumuray ang gago habang nagwawala na sa gilid ang mga kaibigan ko."Tang'na, Gurang. Ayusin mo. Ipinusta ko na 'yong mansion ko sa isla. Huwag kang papatalo, kungdi papakain kita sa muning ko."Umiling ako kay Trace. Balak ko sanang sagutin na kita ko na ang ngala-ngala niya nang matigilan ako.James was standing a few meters from Logan. Nilukob ako ng lamig sa klase ng tingin na ibinigay nito. I gulped and for a fleeting second, I was rendered immobile.My ears buzz with the grating sound of the crowd and
LEVIpinilig ko ang ulo't ilang segundong tinitigan ang cellphone. I'm still mesmerized by how Bree changes my mood in just a flick of a finger when James' stern voice floats in the room.Ibinulsa ko ang aparato't tinungo ang maliit na opisina. James was perched on the single couch facing the big mahogany desk. If his brows and the rage painted on his face are any indications, I would say that shit is about to hit the fan.Purposefully, I stride towards him."You're up for serious business now, lover boy?"Hindi ko pinansin ang pang iinis niya. Inukopa ko ang office chair. My gaze is fixed on his laptop."What do you have for me?"Tumigil ito sa kakatipa't sinalubong ang mga mata ko. Matiim akong tinitigan. Pigil ang hiningang hinintay kong magsalita ang kaibigan. Sa uatk ko, samo't sari ng senaryo ang naglalaro but I know that I pulled the stoic mask on. Sheilding me from his inquisitive eyes.Ipinatong ko ang magkabilang kamay sa lamesa. I steeple my fingers. There's this foreboding
LEVWHEN I eased my Bugatti into the parking space of The Ruins, I know something is not right. I can smell it in the air and feel it through my blood. I don't believe in superstitious shits but I must admit that there were times when instinct saved me.Now, there's that little voice at the back of my head that keeps on nagging me. I can't shake it off.Inis na inumpog ko ang ulo sa headrest ng upuan ko't ipinikit ang mga mata. Nerbiyos lang 'to. Or mabe, excitement. Cause at last, mabibigyan na ng linaw ang lahat ng kasagutang bumabagabag sa akin sa simula pa. Besides, ano pa bang mas lala pa sa kaalamang natukoy na ni James ang katauhan ng taong nag traydor sa papa ko?As if on cue, sinalakay ako ng mukha ng ama ko. Dread and hate skittered through me while I fight for some semblance. My father's face conjured the nightmare I tried but failed to bury. Lalo kong ipinikit ang mga mata. Visions formed and each one of them vivid. My mother's plea, my father's eyes, my baby sister's inno
LEVFORTY-five minutes after naming lumanding, I found myself parked outside Bree's campus. Waiting. I shouldn't be here, but the thing about me is that I don't just let go. If someone hurt my family of Foedus, I will surely rain hell on them. At walang gusto ang demonyo sa loob ko kung hindi ang gawin iyon.My fingers are drumming into my steering wheel as I wait for the pest I'm gonna squash. Namely, Anya. Sinulyapan ko ang mga larawang nasa tabi na tila ba hindi pa iyon naka ukit sa utak ko. I gripped the steering wheel, imagining it was the bitch's neck.Gusto kong yakapin sina August kanina nang sabihin sa aking alam na nila kung sino ang may pakana ng nangyari kay Bree. It's intense I know and uncharacteristically me but everything about Bree made me extreme.My assistant even volunteered to do the deed–meaning teach Anya a lesson. But I turned it down. This is personal.Muntik madurog ang mga buto ko sa kamay ng maglagutukan ang mga iyon. The bitch was coming out with her cliqu