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80. Jacob

Author: J. Tarr
last update Last Updated: 2025-03-28 21:46:49

Xavier’s asleep in my arms. Or at least, I think he is. He’s breathing like it, soft and steady against my chest, one hand curled near his face, the other resting over my ribs like I’ll vanish if he lets go. His cheek is pressed to the space just above my heart, and I swear to god, every time he exhales, something in me settles a little more.

The sheets are still damp from when we fell into bed after the bath—too tired to dry off all the way, too tangled up in each other to care. We hadn’t planned it. That wasn’t what the bath was supposed to be.

I ran it for him because he needed comfort, and I needed to give it to him. Needed to do something to remind him that the world could still be kind. That he was still loved. But somewhere between the water and the steam and the quiet way he looked at me—something shifted.

And it was him. He was the one who let his scent roll out first, thick and heavy and laced with need so strong I could barely think. No hesitation, no fear. Just instinct a
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  • Knot My Alpha   81. Jacob

    Xavier’s practically melted across me, one leg hooked over my thigh, his face buried in my neck. His curls are everywhere, and I swear half of them are in my mouth. He’s still breathing slow, deep and even, but the moment I shift just a little, his fingers twitch against my chest.“I know you’re awake,” I murmur, voice still rough with sleep.He groans dramatically but doesn’t move. “M’not.”“You just responded.”“No I didn’t.”A laugh rumbles low in my throat. “You’re not very good at this.”“I’m amazing at this,” he says, voice muffled in my neck. “I’m playing dead so my Alpha doesn’t get up and leave me.”“I wasn’t planning on leaving.”He lifts his head slowly, finally, eyes still half-lidded and hazy with sleep. But there’s a spark there now, a light that wasn’t always present before. That playful glint I’ve been seeing more and more of—the one that tells me he’s starting to feel safe enough to be himself around me, not just the version he was forced to perform for years.“You al

    Last Updated : 2025-03-29
  • Knot My Alpha   82. Jacob

    The kitchen smells like cinnamon and coffee and toasted bread, and Xavier’s still chattering behind me while I flip the last of the waffles onto a plate. He’s perched on the counter, legs swinging back and forth, his hair damp from a shower and face clean of makeup for once, not because he forgot it, but because I think today he just wanted to feel simple. Real.He looks good like this. He looks good all the time, but there’s something about this version—barefaced, in one of my oversized sweatshirts, ankles crossed, cheeks flushed with something that’s not stress for once—that just hits different.He’s talking about something he read on one of the gossip threads back at the Academy—some rumor about two bonded Alphas who got into a fight in the dining hall over protein powder or territory or something ridiculous. I’m only half-listening, smiling at the way his voice lifts when he gets worked up, how his hands move when he’s trying to paint the scene for me.Then my phone buzzes on the

    Last Updated : 2025-03-29
  • Knot My Alpha   83. Tyler

    It’s been two hours since Jacob’s call, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.He sounded… different. Tired, but not just physically. Not like he was exhausted from lack of sleep or overtraining like back at the Academy. This was deeper. Heavier. Like something had been sitting on him for a long time, and only now was he starting to come up for air.The Turner-Alcott family.It didn’t make sense at first. I couldn’t figure out why that name hit me the way it did, like something half-buried in my memory just got kicked loose. It wasn’t just the weight in Jacob’s voice—it was the way he told me to talk to Landon. Not a teacher. Not administration. Landon.Landon’s out on the patio behind our dorm, shirt sleeves rolled up, flipping through a stack of papers for one of his business classes. His legs are kicked up on the table, glasses perched on the edge of his nose—he only wears them when he’s reading for long stretches, and for some reason, the sight of him like that still makes somet

    Last Updated : 2025-03-30
  • Knot My Alpha   84. Xavier

    The moment Jacob starts pacing, I know it’s going to be one of those nights.He doesn’t even try to pretend otherwise. Doesn’t try to play it off with that lazy smirk he gives when he wants to pretend he’s got everything under control. Tonight, he doesn’t have it. He’s wearing a threadbare shirt I love on him—one of the few pieces in his wardrobe that doesn’t scream “Alpha heir of a powerful empire”—but the way he’s tugging at the hem, running his hand through his hair every few minutes, chewing the inside of his cheek like it’s a damn snack? It’s obvious.He’s nervous, and if he circles past the fireplace one more time, I’m going to throw a pillow at his head.He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. He’s somewhere else entirely, lost in whatever spiraling train of thought his brain has decided to torture him with tonight. His brows are drawn tight, his jaw clenched, and he keeps raking a hand through his hair like it’ll magically produce answers if he does it enough.I’m curled up on

    Last Updated : 2025-03-31
  • Knot My Alpha   85. Jacob

    I don’t remember the drive over. Not really.I remember the hum of the engine, the low rumble of tires on the road, and the way Xavier’s hand never left mine the whole way. I remember the way my heart sat like a stone in my chest, slow and sick with nerves. I remember trying to breathe around it. But the second we pulled up outside the little private meeting space arranged by my father’s team, all of that faded into one single, sharp thought:I’m about to lose him.Because no matter how many times I rehearsed this conversation in my head—no matter how many versions I tried to imagine—none of them ended with things going back to the way they were.Tyler was my first real friend. My anchor. The one person who made it feel okay to be small sometimes. And now I’m about to tell him that everything he thought he knew about me was a lie.The building is quiet when we step inside. Sleek and neutral, like the kind of place used for off-the-books meetings and private council visits. The securit

    Last Updated : 2025-03-31
  • Knot My Alpha   86. Jacob

    I let it go for now. I know better than to push Tyler when he’s still sorting through a million things at once. I can practically see the gears grinding in his head. I can see the way he’s holding everything in—questions, emotions, grief, betrayal. It’s all there in his posture. Tight. Guarded. Controlled.But I’m not done yet. Not even close.“I need to tell you the rest,” I say, and my voice sounds quieter now, like even I can feel how fragile this moment is.Tyler lifts his eyes to mine, and for the first time since we walked in, they don’t burn with hurt. Just exhaustion.“It’s about Xavier,” I say, my fingers tightening slightly around Xavier’s hand beneath the table. “What they did to him… the reason we’re here now… it’s bigger than what it looks like.”Xavier’s quiet next to me, but I feel him shift, feel the slight tremble in his fingers. He doesn’t look at Tyler—his gaze stays on the table, shoulders just a little hunched, like he’s bracing for impact even though he doesn’t n

    Last Updated : 2025-03-31
  • Knot My Alpha   87. Xavier

    The car ride back is quiet.Not the kind of awkward silence you get when people are mad or holding something back, but the kind that hangs in the air after too much emotion has passed through a room, leaving everything stripped bare in its wake. The kind of silence that fills your lungs and settles in your chest and makes your skin too tight for your bones.Jacob’s hand is on my knee the whole time, his thumb brushing slow circles through the fabric of my slacks, his pinky just barely brushing my thigh like he’s scared I’ll pull away if he touches me fully.I don’t, but I don’t say much either. I’m not mad, that’s not what this is. It’s not even jealousy anymore, not really. It’s something else. Something deeper. Something I don’t have a name for.Tyler cried when he saw Jacob. Crumpled, really. Fell into Jacob like the reunion broke something in him. And I wasn’t surprised by that—I knew they were close. I expected emotion. But what I didn’t expect was how personal it would feel. How

    Last Updated : 2025-04-24
  • Knot My Alpha   88. Jacob

    I find my father in his office, where he always is when the rest of the house feels like too much. Behind the glass desk, papers stacked with surgical precision, screens scrolling through live feeds from every AOB-affiliated site in the country, he looks like he belongs in a war room more than a home. It fits him. It always has.He looks up when I walk in without knocking. That’s allowed now, apparently. Since everything came to light, the rules are shifting beneath us. They’re still there, just less rigid. More silent understanding, less formal armor.“Jacob,” he says, setting aside the tablet in his hand. “Everything alright?”“No,” I say simply, and his posture straightens just enough for me to know I have his attention. He gestures for me to sit, but I don’t. I stay standing. The weight of what I’m carrying doesn’t want a chair under it.“I spoke to Tyler yesterday,” I start, watching his expression carefully. “We talked about a lot, but there’s one thing he said that stuck.”My f

    Last Updated : 2025-04-24

Latest chapter

  • Knot My Alpha   90. Xavier

    The second Jacob’s father steps into the garden, everything shifts.He doesn’t even have to speak. That man walks with the kind of presence that makes the air around him stand to attention. Jacob straightens in his seat immediately, and Landon tenses like he was waiting for this exact moment. I see the way Jacob’s brows pull slightly, how his thumb briefly brushes mine under the table—a silent apology before he even says anything.“Jacob. Landon,” Richard says, voice smooth but clipped. “May I have a moment?”There’s no question that it’s a command.Jacob stands, eyes flicking to me as he squeezes my hand once. “Won’t be long.”I nod, but it’s tight. My fingers feel a little colder once he’s gone.Now it’s just me. And Tyler.Awkward doesn’t even begin to cover it.I shift slightly in my seat, crossing my legs, then uncrossing them. My fingers toy with the edge of the linen napkin on my lap. The birds in the trees are too loud. The wind too quiet. Everything suddenly feels like it’s

  • Knot My Alpha   89. Xavier

    Tyler looks like he’s been dipped in sunlight.It’s the first thing I notice as he steps out of the car, Landon beside him. He’s glowing, not in the literal sense—no supernatural aura or anything weird—but just glowing. His skin looks clearer, cheeks a little fuller, his whole face pulled into a grin that doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere.There’s something unshakably good about him today, like he finally figured out how to take a full breath again and doesn’t want to stop.I never knew him that well at the Academy, but I knew of him. Everyone did. Tyler Winchester was the kind of Omega that floated through the halls with a quiet confidence that didn’t feel manufactured.He was kind, but not soft. Sharp, but not cruel. Just… steady. Like he’d found the center of his own world and was unapologetically orbiting it.Seeing him now, I get it. I get why Jacob loved him back then, even if it wasn’t the kind of love that lasted forever.He and Landon walk up the path like they’ve done this

  • Knot My Alpha   88. Jacob

    I find my father in his office, where he always is when the rest of the house feels like too much. Behind the glass desk, papers stacked with surgical precision, screens scrolling through live feeds from every AOB-affiliated site in the country, he looks like he belongs in a war room more than a home. It fits him. It always has.He looks up when I walk in without knocking. That’s allowed now, apparently. Since everything came to light, the rules are shifting beneath us. They’re still there, just less rigid. More silent understanding, less formal armor.“Jacob,” he says, setting aside the tablet in his hand. “Everything alright?”“No,” I say simply, and his posture straightens just enough for me to know I have his attention. He gestures for me to sit, but I don’t. I stay standing. The weight of what I’m carrying doesn’t want a chair under it.“I spoke to Tyler yesterday,” I start, watching his expression carefully. “We talked about a lot, but there’s one thing he said that stuck.”My f

  • Knot My Alpha   87. Xavier

    The car ride back is quiet.Not the kind of awkward silence you get when people are mad or holding something back, but the kind that hangs in the air after too much emotion has passed through a room, leaving everything stripped bare in its wake. The kind of silence that fills your lungs and settles in your chest and makes your skin too tight for your bones.Jacob’s hand is on my knee the whole time, his thumb brushing slow circles through the fabric of my slacks, his pinky just barely brushing my thigh like he’s scared I’ll pull away if he touches me fully.I don’t, but I don’t say much either. I’m not mad, that’s not what this is. It’s not even jealousy anymore, not really. It’s something else. Something deeper. Something I don’t have a name for.Tyler cried when he saw Jacob. Crumpled, really. Fell into Jacob like the reunion broke something in him. And I wasn’t surprised by that—I knew they were close. I expected emotion. But what I didn’t expect was how personal it would feel. How

  • Knot My Alpha   86. Jacob

    I let it go for now. I know better than to push Tyler when he’s still sorting through a million things at once. I can practically see the gears grinding in his head. I can see the way he’s holding everything in—questions, emotions, grief, betrayal. It’s all there in his posture. Tight. Guarded. Controlled.But I’m not done yet. Not even close.“I need to tell you the rest,” I say, and my voice sounds quieter now, like even I can feel how fragile this moment is.Tyler lifts his eyes to mine, and for the first time since we walked in, they don’t burn with hurt. Just exhaustion.“It’s about Xavier,” I say, my fingers tightening slightly around Xavier’s hand beneath the table. “What they did to him… the reason we’re here now… it’s bigger than what it looks like.”Xavier’s quiet next to me, but I feel him shift, feel the slight tremble in his fingers. He doesn’t look at Tyler—his gaze stays on the table, shoulders just a little hunched, like he’s bracing for impact even though he doesn’t n

  • Knot My Alpha   85. Jacob

    I don’t remember the drive over. Not really.I remember the hum of the engine, the low rumble of tires on the road, and the way Xavier’s hand never left mine the whole way. I remember the way my heart sat like a stone in my chest, slow and sick with nerves. I remember trying to breathe around it. But the second we pulled up outside the little private meeting space arranged by my father’s team, all of that faded into one single, sharp thought:I’m about to lose him.Because no matter how many times I rehearsed this conversation in my head—no matter how many versions I tried to imagine—none of them ended with things going back to the way they were.Tyler was my first real friend. My anchor. The one person who made it feel okay to be small sometimes. And now I’m about to tell him that everything he thought he knew about me was a lie.The building is quiet when we step inside. Sleek and neutral, like the kind of place used for off-the-books meetings and private council visits. The securit

  • Knot My Alpha   84. Xavier

    The moment Jacob starts pacing, I know it’s going to be one of those nights.He doesn’t even try to pretend otherwise. Doesn’t try to play it off with that lazy smirk he gives when he wants to pretend he’s got everything under control. Tonight, he doesn’t have it. He’s wearing a threadbare shirt I love on him—one of the few pieces in his wardrobe that doesn’t scream “Alpha heir of a powerful empire”—but the way he’s tugging at the hem, running his hand through his hair every few minutes, chewing the inside of his cheek like it’s a damn snack? It’s obvious.He’s nervous, and if he circles past the fireplace one more time, I’m going to throw a pillow at his head.He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. He’s somewhere else entirely, lost in whatever spiraling train of thought his brain has decided to torture him with tonight. His brows are drawn tight, his jaw clenched, and he keeps raking a hand through his hair like it’ll magically produce answers if he does it enough.I’m curled up on

  • Knot My Alpha   83. Tyler

    It’s been two hours since Jacob’s call, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.He sounded… different. Tired, but not just physically. Not like he was exhausted from lack of sleep or overtraining like back at the Academy. This was deeper. Heavier. Like something had been sitting on him for a long time, and only now was he starting to come up for air.The Turner-Alcott family.It didn’t make sense at first. I couldn’t figure out why that name hit me the way it did, like something half-buried in my memory just got kicked loose. It wasn’t just the weight in Jacob’s voice—it was the way he told me to talk to Landon. Not a teacher. Not administration. Landon.Landon’s out on the patio behind our dorm, shirt sleeves rolled up, flipping through a stack of papers for one of his business classes. His legs are kicked up on the table, glasses perched on the edge of his nose—he only wears them when he’s reading for long stretches, and for some reason, the sight of him like that still makes somet

  • Knot My Alpha   82. Jacob

    The kitchen smells like cinnamon and coffee and toasted bread, and Xavier’s still chattering behind me while I flip the last of the waffles onto a plate. He’s perched on the counter, legs swinging back and forth, his hair damp from a shower and face clean of makeup for once, not because he forgot it, but because I think today he just wanted to feel simple. Real.He looks good like this. He looks good all the time, but there’s something about this version—barefaced, in one of my oversized sweatshirts, ankles crossed, cheeks flushed with something that’s not stress for once—that just hits different.He’s talking about something he read on one of the gossip threads back at the Academy—some rumor about two bonded Alphas who got into a fight in the dining hall over protein powder or territory or something ridiculous. I’m only half-listening, smiling at the way his voice lifts when he gets worked up, how his hands move when he’s trying to paint the scene for me.Then my phone buzzes on the

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